Blast To The Past, part 1
By Officer 1BDI
A/N: Though I tried my best to write this within
the restraints of the show, this is technically an “alternate
universe” story and is probably best read with this idea in
mind.
OPENING SEQUENCE CAPTION: Coming now to a
TV in front of you. TV SCREEN: Scene from South Park ACT
1 TEXT: February 12th, 3003 FADE IN: INT PLANET
EXPRESS BUILDING-- PE CONFERENCE ROOM-- AFTERNOON Here we find
the PE crew, lounging around the table, doing whatever. FRY is
leaning back in his chair, observing his co-workers. LEELA and HERMES
are sitting across from him, currently obsessed with a stack of
papers in front of them. BENDER is in two places at once. His body is
propped up in his own chair, with his chest cavity door wide open.
Inside the cavity is a small TV set. Bender's head is on the table,
watching the TV, occasionally shouting out obscenities at the
screen... BENDER: No! Take the ball to the _other_ side of the
court! C'mon, Jenkins, I've got two grand on this game! Meanwhile,
the so-called "Doctor" ZOIDBERG is chowing down on some
weird green slimy stuff that looks like some freakish mixture between
a cheese pizza and seaweed. From the ship's engine, the Cantonese
cussing of AMY can be heard. CUBERT and SCRUFFY are nowhere to be
seen; Cubert's taking a class at Mar's University, while our janitor
Scruffy... well, here's a little story for you; Scruffy had quit back
in late 3002, after he used the professor's What-If machine to
discover that he'd become rich if he manufactured Robot Oil instead.
They'd never heard from him again, but a month after he quit, there
was a news report on a group of hay-wire robots raiding the newest
Oil Mine. The owner was nowhere to be found. As for the
professor; FARNSWORTH is at the head of the table, tinkering away at
what looked like a bicycle helmet with Christmas lights. No one seems
to be paying attention to him, and he doesn't seem to care. BENDER:
Oh gawd! You LOST! You bastards, you lost me two grand! I... oh,
forget it. Bender snarls as he reaches in to turn off his TV.
His head turns to stare at the professor and his invention. BENDER:
Oh God, what is _that_ supposed to be? FARNSWORTH: (looks up
an smiles) Why, I'm glad you asked, my friend. Attention everyone!
(Everyone looks at him. Amy comes down from the ship.) I'd like to
introduce you all to my latest and greatest invention; the Mind
Reader! He looks around the room cautiously, then leans over
towards Leela, whispering what everyone else can hear anyway.
FARNSWORTH: It can read minds, you know. AMY: Well
guh! FRY: (looks the machine over cautiously) How does it
work? He immediately regrets asking. FARNSWORTH: Well,
it's a very complicated system of wiring and computer sources that
send out a radar to the corneas in your eye, transmitting a.... CUT
TO- PE CONFERENCE ROOM- LATER It's at least a few hours later.
Fry looks around lazily and noticed that half the crew has fallen
asleep. The professor is still going on strong. FARNSWORTH:
(CONT.) ...thus by connecting to the nervous system, will enhance the
signal and shoot back into the Reader itself... SFX: VIDEO
PHONE RING Everyone but Farnsworth jumps out of there
seats. EVERYONE: I'll get it! CUT TO- PE KITCHEN They
all race into the kitchen, but Hermes gets to the phone first.
Without bothering to turn on the screen, he picks up the
receiver. HERMES: (gasping) He..hello? (PAUSE, turns to crew
looking disappointed) It's for you, Leela. The rest of the
crew groans and reluctantly drag themselves out of the room. Leela
takes the phone from Hermes and waits until they've all left before
turning the screen on and speaking. LEELA: Hello? TERRY:
Leela, we need you to come down to the labs today, pronto! LEELA:
(scowling) Oh no, Terry! You're not getting me back there again, not
after what I went through! TERRY: But this is an emergency!
(Horrified) There is a _child_ loose in the facility! LEELA:
You call _that_ an emergency? TERRY: You don't understand.
He's been hiding from us all day; we haven't been able to assign him
his chip. He refuses to come out unless we help him find "his
mommy". LEELA: (snaps) So, then get him his mom. Or his
dad. TERRY: You don't understand. We found him in the
Cryogenics Room last night. Leela ponders this for a
second. TERRY: (CONT.) Please Leela! You're the only one who
was ever good with kids! We already tested him. Then he got away from
us and... well... we need you to... LEELA: *Sigh* Fine, I'll
come down today. But it's just for the kid, nothing else. Leela
hangs up the phone and heads for the conference room. CUT TO-
PE CONFERENCE ROOM There, the Professor is still dragging on.
Leela (gladly) interrupts him. LEELA: Professor, I have an
emergency crisis that I need to attend to. FARNSWORTH: Wha...
oh, yes, go on if you must. But you'll be missing out on my
lecture. FRY: (gapping) There's _another_
lecture? FARNSWORTH: Oh yes. My long, dreary, boring as hell
lecture. FRY: Wait, Leela! Take me with you! He jumps
out of his seat and grabs her arm, dragging her towards the door.
Bender joins him and grabs the other arm. BENDER: Oh please!
Pleasepleasepleeeeaassseee take us! We promise we won't ask you for
anything else, ever! LEELA: No! I have to do this alone. You
guys'll just screw something up. BENDER: PLEASE!!!! Suddenly,
he turns sly and whips out a few photos from his chest. He whispers
to Leela while waving them around for all to see. BENDER: If
you don't, I've got some rather revealing photos that the world wide
web will crave for! Leela snatches the pictures away from
Bender and looks them over. Her concern turns into an annoyed frown.
LEELA: Bender, these are pictures from a Playbot Magazine.
With my head pasted on them. BENDER: Yeah well, you lived too
far away, so I had to use a stand in. PLEASE! LEELA: (annoyed)
Alright! You two can come. But stay out of trouble! FRY:
YES! Fry drags Leela out the door. Bender follows and turns to
smirk at everyone else. BENDER: Woo Hoo! Enjoy your lecture,
losers! Bender exits. The professor looks around at the
remaining crew in confusion. FARNSWORTH: Now, um, where was I?
Oh well, I guess I'll just start from the beginning. The
remaining crew members groan painfully. CUT TO- CRYOGENICS
LAB- HALLWAY- LATER As soon as two of the three walk through
the door, Leela's old boss comes rushing up to her, looking
flustered. Upon seeing Leela, his face shows a great deal of relief.
Fry (still outside the room) looks uneasily at the automatic door and
sneaks in. But before he's totally out of the frame, the door comes
up from the floor and smudges him into the top of the frame. Leela
turns around, sighs, and pulls him free from the door. BOSS:
Oh Leela! Thank my many Gods you're here! The little imp's been
driving us crazy! He's even worse than Terry! FRY: Wow, that
_is_ bad! BOSS: Wait a minute, what are you doing here? FRY:
Um, we're here to help. The boss glares at him and Bender some
more, then gives Leela the same menacing look. She looks over Fry and
Bender and thinks for a second. LEELA: Well, you can start
helping by waiting for me back in my old office. FRY:
(griping) Aw, can't we go in with you? LEELA: No. You'd scare
the kid. Besides, the last thing I need is a distraction. Fry
scowls and he and Bender head for her office. Leela's boss hands her
a bag that he's been carrying. She reaches into it and pulls out her
old chip-implanting gun. She glares at it with hatred and sighs.
LEELA: Where is he? BOSS: Right this way. (the boss
leads her further down the hall). CUT TO- BOSS'S OFFICE The
door opens in the darkened room of 'The Boss' and Leela enters. Her
boss stands in the doorway behind her and points towards his
desk. BOSS: There he is. The kid's been hiding under there for
two hour now. Watch out, he bites. With that, the boss flicks
the lights on and leaves, closing the door behind him. Leela takes a
deep breath and heads for the desk. LEELA: Hello? Is anyone in
here? There comes no answer, except for heavy breathing from
the desk. Cautiously, she kneels down and peeks underneath it. KID:
AAAAAHHHHHH! MONSTOW!!!!!! Before she can react (let alone get
a better look), a rag doll is thrown in her face. She tears it off
(looks like a purple rabbit) and throws it across the room, out of
her way. Realizing her eye has scared him, she tries another
direction. LEELA: Wait, I'm not a monster... KID: GET
AWAY FWOM ME!!! LEELA: Okay, okay, fine. (she shifts back into
the wall behind her) Is that better? (PAUSE) Is that better,
kiddo? She tried to listen for a reply, but all she can hear
is crying. LEELA: Are you okay? KID: (Sobbing)
No. LEELA: I'm sorry I scared you. But I'm really not a
monster. If I were, I would have already hurt you by now,
right? KID: *Sniff* Wite... Leela takes this as a good
sign and cautiously moves towards the desk. LEELA:
What's your name? KID: I can't tewl you. LEELA:
(puzzled) Oh. Why? KID: You'w a stwanger, an' mommy an'daddy
told me not to tawk to stwangers. LEELA: Okay... Let's do it
this way, then. My name's Leela. I'm an alien, _not_ a monster, and
you're in the future. Now that you know me, what's your name? KID:
Matthew LEELA: (echoing) Matthew... That's a nice name. How
old are you? MATT: Thwee. Leela sits there, bewildered.
She's never heard of a toddler getting frozen before. LEELA:
Are you going to come out? MATT: Nu-uh. *sniff* Not until I
find mommy and daddy. LEELA: (frowning) Well, you're not going
to find them under there. Come on out, I won't hurt you. Leela
waves her hand, beckoning Matt to come out. He hesitates for a
second, then finally crawls out from under the desk. The first
noticeable detail is his size; he's small, even for a three year old.
But his cuteness sort of makes up for that. He's wearing some
"bizarre" 20th Century fashion (overalls over a plain
T-shirt), and currently, his large eyes are peering fearfully up at
her beneath his spiky orange hair (think a short-Bart Simpson cut).
Leela's maternal instincts give way. Despite herself, Leela find
herself scooping Matt into her lap and hugging him LEELA: Oh,
you poor thing. MATT: (whimpering) Wat are you gonna do wit
me? LEELA: (soothing) It's okay, I'm not gonna do anything bad
to you. This almost touching moment is totaled by one
temperamental robot standing in the doorway. BENDER: Oh God,
don't tell me you're attached to that thing! And this one looks like
Cubert! Yech! LEELA: He does not! MATT: Who's
Cwuburt? LEELA: No one, hon. (Turns to Bender) I thought I
told you to wait with Fry! BENDER: Yeah, but Fry got
boring. LEELA: Go back. Now! BENDER: Hmph. Fine (SOTTO)
Bitch. He glares at her, then notices the rabbit doll at his
feet. He grabs it and storms out of the room. LEELA:
Moron. MATT: Will you help me find my mommy and
daddy? LEELA: Uh... yes... but first, I have to do
something... She pulls out the chip-implanter from behind her
back and sees Matt's eyes go wide. MATT: You'we gonna shoot
me?! LEELA: Oh no! Of course not! (Leela carefully removes the
chip out of the gun and holds it out for Matt to see) You see this? I
have to put this in you so that when you grow up, you can get a
job. Matt takes the chip and fingers it uncertainly. MATT:
Wat will I be? LEELA: Well... let's see... On every
chip I'm assuming there's a label stating what occupation it's
created for. This is exactly what Leela sees, and when she finds it,
she looks surprised. LEELA: This is weird... it says you're
going to be the Ambassador of DOOP. MATT: What dat? LEELA:
Well, basically, it means you get control over all the armies on the
planet. (Author's note: I don't know what the official title
is; frankly, I don't even know what you really do. It's the same job Glab has.).
MATT: Kewl! (Looks over chip again) If you put it in me,
will it hurt? LEELA: Only for a second. After awhile, you
won't even notice it. MATT: I don't wannit. (he gives the chip
back to Leela) LEELA: (SOTTO) Smart kid. (To Matt) But
everyone has to have one. See, even I do. She holds out her
palm and shows the chip to Matt. He looks at her warily. MATT:
Well... okay... CUT TO- LEELA'S (OLD) OFFICE Fry is
lounging around in the chair at the desk when Bender comes sauntering
in, carrying the doll. FRY: Is Leela done yet? BENDER:
No. But look what I ripped off the kid she's drooling over. He he,
pretty cute, eh? Bender dangles the doll in front of Fry's
face. The doll is a small stuffed animal that looks like a cross
between a rabbit and Barney the purple dinosaur (hey, the kid's three
years old...) Fry raises an eyebrow; he's seen this doll before. He
grabs it from Bender and examines it closely. A rather long pause
follows. FRY: Bender... where did you get this... MATT:
(OS) AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!! Fry bolts up in his seat; he knows
that scream. ZOOM IN- BENDER BENDER: Man,
that kid can scream when he wants to, huh Fry... Fry? Bender
searches the room wildy for a glimpse of his friend. ZOOM OUT to
reveal that Fry has disappeared. The bot shakes his head pitifully.
BENDER: Jeeze, Fry! What's the big deal? CUT TO-
HALLWAY Here's the scene; at one end of the hall, Fry is
racing to the other end, following the screams, looking absolutely
terrified. Meanwhile at the other end is Leela, chasing a howling
Matthew. Neither realize that their heading straight on a collision
course for the other. Suddenly, half-way down the hall, Matt's
shoelaces come undone and he trips over them. Too scared to do
anything else, he decides the best thing to do at the moment is curl
up into a ball and sob his heart out. Leela catches up to him and
slows her pace to a walk. But she's not within three feet of him when
Fry rounds the corner. He looks at Leela first, then his gaze falls
to Matt and he gaps. FRY: MATTHEW!? Matt stops sobbing
long enough to look up and see Fry, who runs up to him and picks him
up. Leela stands there, wearing a look that plainly says, "What
the hell is this?" FRY: (CONT) Matthew... oh my God, it's
you... but how did you... Fry suddenly realizes Leela's
staring at him. He turns around and sees Bender and the Boss behind
him, both looking for an explanation. BOSS: (PO'ed) Excuse me,
sir. Would _you_ care to explain how this child got in here? FRY:
I'm not sure. BOSS: Hmmm... Are you responsible for him? FRY:
What? BOSS: Is he yours? FRY: Um ... uh... well... Fry
looks around, mainly towards a disturbed Leela and Bender. BOSS:
Because if he isn't your son, then I'm going to have to keep him
here. FRY: No! Leela looks taken aback at the reaction,
and Fry gives her an apologetic look. FRY: ( quiet) Um... yeah
. He's mine. PAUSE as two sets of jaws hit the floor. One
literally. BENDER: (after fitting his jaw back into place) Oh.
My. Sweet Programmer! END OF ACT 1 ACT
2 EXT NEW NEW YORK-- CRYOGENICS LAB- EVENING The
trio, now turned quartet, wander away from the building as the sun
sets on the busy streets of NNY. ZOOM IN to reveal that Leela and
Bender are extremely ticked at their friend for not revealing this
bit of info to them. Fry is trying to ignore their glares as he
carries an exhausted Matthew, who's clinging to Fry's neck, shooting
fearful glances at the cyclops that scarred him for life... FRY:
Look guys, there's something you should know... BENDER:
(bitter) Oh, so there's something _else_ you haven't told us? FRY:
(angry) Hey, I was just doing what I thought was right... LEELA:
Yeah. I'm sure you were thinking that while you were conceiving him
(motions at Matt). BENDER: (whoops in approval) Lay it on him,
honey! FRY: (snaps) Hey, it wasn't like that. LEELA:
(sarcastic) Uh-huh. Tell me, Fry; is this something you and that
_Michelle_ cooked up in your hot little affair one night, or was it
the result of some friggin' one-night stand...? Fry stops in
his tracks and glares daggers at Leela. FRY: Screw this. I
don't need some bitch telling my life story for me! (Storms
off) LEELA: (on some fine line between shocked and furious)
Excuse me?!? Where the hell are you going? FRY: Home. At least
there I can stare at the wall instead of some mutant shrew. Fry
marches off OS. Leela and Bender watch him leave, Leela looking
stunned. CUT TO- PE BUILDING- CONFERENCE ROOM- LATER After
a brief description of their findings to the rest of the
crew... AMY: God! I can't believe he didn't tell us! HERMES:
Fry wit a love child? I can't picture it, mon. Well, maybe I
can... ZOIDBERG: (disappointed) Oy, why is it that _he_ get's
all the luck? BENDER: See, that just proves my point.
Zoidberg's an idiot. LEELA: I just don't get it. Why didn't he
tell us about Matthew before? AMY: Maybe because he was afraid
of how we'd react. LEELA: Why would he be afraid of
that? AMY: Well, how'd you react to him today? Were you
_reasonable_? LEELA: Of course I was reas... (thinks) ohhh...
I completely tore him apart. (Sad) You're right, Amy. I completely
overreacted. No wonder Fry didn't tell us. But I couldn't help it. I
felt... I dunno... betrayed or something. (Looks out the window in
the room and sighs) I just wish there was another explanation for all
of this... CUT TO- ROBOT ARMS APT.- FRY/BENDER'S APARTMENT-
LATER In Fry's part of the apartment, our hopeless
star is bending over the couch, doing his best to make a bed for
Matt. Matt, meanwhile is wandering around the room, wearing one of
Fry's shirts as makeshift PJs (and on a little kid like Matt, that
shirt is BIG), clutching that purple rabbit doll in one of his
hands. FRY: Okay, I think I got it. Come here, Matt. (Fry
picks him up and sets him on the couch). Is that okay? MATT:
Uh-huh. FRY: Okay. If you need me, I'll be over there (points
to his own bed), 'K? MATT: Okay. (Fry starts to get up)
Wait! FRY: Yeah? MATT: Why did you tell dat man dat you
were daddy? FRY: Uh... yeah, about that... I sort of had to
lie to get you out of there. MATT: But lying is bad! FRY:
Maybe... but sometimes you have to do it anyway. MATT: Are we
gonna find mommy and daddy tomorrow? PAUSE FRY:
(awkward) Um, Matt we need to... aw, never mind. First we need to
figure out how you got here, and then we... we'll see. G'night Matt.
(Starts to leave again...) MATT: Wait! Will you kiss me
goodnight? FRY: Ugh. Do I have to? MATT: Pwease? FRY:
(rolls his eyes) *Sigh* fine. (Plants one on his forehead and stares
at Matt expectantly). Anything else you need me to do? MATT:
Yah. Kiss Bwueberry goodnight, too. FRY: Who's
Blueberry? Matt proceeds to pull out his little purple
rabbit(ish) doll and wave it in front of Fry. MATT: Dis is
Bwueberry. Fry scowls. FRY: Look, there's a lot of
stupid things I'll do, but kissing that little freak doll isn't one
of them. MATT: Oh. Okay. *Yawn* Goodnight, Unkie Phil. FRY:
G'night, Matthew. CUT TO- BENDER'S ROOM Bender's
listening through the door. He scowls after hearing their
conversation. BENDER: _Unkie Phil_? CUT TO-
ROBOT ARMS APT.- FRY/BENDER'S APARTMENT- NEXT MORNING ZOOM IN
on Fry, who's sprawled out on his bed, asleep. SFX: ALARM
CLOCK Mumbling about his lost dream, he turns over, yawns
loudly and stretches. MATT: (OS) Woah! SFX: THUMP Fry
frowns and looks over the side of his bed; it seems he has just
accidently kicked his nephew out of bed. FRY: Whoops. Sorry
Matt... wait a minute, you weren't sleeping with me last
night. MATT: I know. I got scawed, so I came in your room. Are
you mad? FRY: 'Course not, Matt. (Picks him up and heads
towards the kitchen) Let's see if I have something edible, and then
we'll... *sigh* head off to Planet Express. (SOTTO) Where I'll be
ridiculed for something I never did... MATT: And then we'll
find mommy and daddy, right? FRY: (hesitates) Uh... oh boy.
Matt, we need to talk about that. But not now. MATT: Unkie
Phil? Why were you and that lady fighting yestieday? BENDER:
(who suddenly appears in the doorway) Yeah. Why were you and Leela
bitching again? FRY: (annoyed) We weren't fighting. She was
just yelling at me for no reason, so I told her off. (grim) Really
badly. BENDER: Well, I'll give you that. FRY: Aw man.
She's gonna be ticked today... maybe I shouldn't go in. Then again,
maybe the professor can figure out how Matt got here in the first
place. Maybe there's a way to send him back. BENDER: You're
putting the kid's fate in the professor's hands? You got guts,
pal. FRY: Like you should talk. What happened yesterday was
your fault, you know. BENDER: _My_ fault?! FRY: Yeah,
if you hadn't encouraged Leela, then she wouldn't have yelled at me,
and I could have told her that Matt's my _nephew_ instead of my
_son_... BENDER: Hey, don't blame me for lying in front of us
in the first place! Fry tries to come up with a good comeback,
but he can't think of one. FRY: Oh hell with it, let's just go
to work. CUT TO- PE OFFICE- CONFERENCE ROOM- LATER Almost
everyone is seated at the table, awaiting Fry and bender's arrival.
Key word; Almost. Leela's up on her feet, pacing furiously. Cubert,
who's back for whatever reason you want to make up, watches her with
disgust. (Side note; the professor's Mind Reader is sitting on the
table). CUBERT: For the love of God, will you
_calm down_? This is not exactly an attack from the Omicronians that
we're worried about here. LEELA: (annoyed) Nibbler, sic
him. At her command, NIBBLER comes out of nowhere and starts
attacking our infamous clone. He screams and falls off of his chair
and OS. About that time, Fry and Bender enter. BENDER: Hey
y'all. FRY: Um, look everyone. I know what you're all
thinking, but I swear the kid's not mine! HERMES: Nice try,
mon. FRY: Wha...? LEELA: I told them everything, Fry.
And I'm sorry about how I reacted yesterday. It was wrong of me
and... wait a minute, what the hell am I saying? I was right! How
could you just go off and abandon your own son like that, you idiot!?
That's beyond a doubt the most selfish, inconsiderate... BENDER:
Whoa, mama. Calm down! Before you nag him to death, can I point out
that the kid's his _nephew_, and not his son? PAUSE LEELA:
(stunned) His neph... but at the lab, you said... FRY: I told
your boss he was my kid so that he'd let me take him home. There, you
happy? LEELA: (genuine) I'm sorry, Fry. I didn't know. It just
got so confusing with giving him the chip and seeing him with
you... FRY: Hey, no prob... wait, what chip? MATT:
(who's been cowering behind Fry this whole time) The one she put in
my hand. The one that hurt me. LEELA: If I had known he was
your nephew, I never would have touched him. CUBERT: (tears
Nibbler off him and tosses him back at Leela) Wait a sec... (to Fry)
He's your _nephew_, right? FRY: Yeah, my brother's kid.
So? CUBERT: (pressing) So then, the professor and I are
technically _his_ great, great, great-whatever grandsons, unless you
had another sibling? FRY: Well, actually... CUBERT: So,
by those standards, if we think about this logically, then my fellow
creator and I should not be in existence! And yet, here we are! How
is that possible? BENDER: I don't know and I don't really
care. LEELA: That's not the only weird thing. Terry told me
that Matt was frozen. But how did a toddler get into a cryogenics lab
in 2003? FRY: (shakes his head) 2003? Uh-uh. Had to be
2000. ZOIDBERG: Why? FRY: Because when I was frozen,
Matt was 2 ½. PAUSE. LEELA: But the
freezer automatically sets for 1000 years and... oh, I don't know.
(To Matt) Hon, do you remember how you got frozen? MATT:
(ducks behind Fry again) Stay away fwom me. LEELA: What's the
matter? MATT: You hurt me. You hurt me with that gun. Like the
bad guy. FRY: (kneels down to Matt's level) Hey, it's okay.
She doesn't have the gun anymore. And even if she did, I wouldn't let
her hurt you. OK? MATT: 'K... ZOIDBERG: Let's start
with something less confusing. If my knowledge of humans is correct,
then your young have tiny, inferior brains that are only useful in
sweat shops and the position of Vice President. Matthew, where were
you the night you were frozen? MATT: I wasn't frozen. FRY:
Matt, did you see those big, closet-looking thingies that were in
that room? MATT: Uh-huh. FRY: Now, how did you get into
one of those? MATT: I didn't get into one of them. AMY:
Look kid, if you're trying to get out of trouble, it's not gonna
work. MATT: But I weally didn't fall in one of dose. I didn't
even touch 'em. FRY: Matt, it's okay if you did... MATT:
(upset) I _didn't_ touch them, Unkie Phil. Weally! FRY: You
really didn't? MATT: Uh-hu. FRY: Damn. LEELA:
Matt, do you remember what the date was when you were fro... when you
got into that room? FRY: Oh yeah, like he's really gonna
remember that... MATT: November fourteen,
two-oh-oh-oh. Everyone gives Matt a strange look. MATT:
(proudly) I'm in pweskool! BENDER: Riiiggghhht. (SOTTO) Smart
ass. CUBERT: But that date doesn't make any sense... LEELA:
Shut up. (Bends down to talk to Matt) Now. How did you get into that
room? (PAUSE) Did your parents take you there? (PAUSE) Did you get
lost and end up in there? (PAUSE) Did someone else other than your
mom or dad take you there? (PAUSE) Matt... Matt
nods his head furiously. LEELA: Okay, now we're getting
somewhere... this person that took you. Was it a grownup? (He nods
yes) Did he know your parents? (Nods yes) Was he a friend of your
parents? (PAUSE) Matthew, was he a friend of your mom or
dad's? MATT: *sniff* No. He was a bad guy. FRY:
(anxious) Bad guy? What kind of bad guy? MATT: The kind with
the gun. PAUSE: FRY: (disturbed) A... a gun? You mean a
toy gun? MATT: (whimpering) No. He came to my house and took
me. (crying) He had a gun... Wosa twied to get me, but he shot
her... Matt starts bawling and throws himself around Fry's
waist. Fry just sits there in bewilderment, hugging his nephew. The
rest of the crew looks alarmed, but still... LEELA: Who's
Rosa? FRY: Um... I think it was his baby-sitter... Matt, Rosa
baby-sat you, right? MATT: (wailing) Uh-huh. And he shot
her! FRY: Hey, calm down. I'm sure she's fine. What happened
next? MATT: *sniff* Then... then he took me to that room. No
one was there. He said he wants no one there. He took out the gun...
*sniff* he shot at me. Nothing came out. He said bad words, he went
away. When he was away, I saw dis light. Leela's eye widens.
Farnsworth coughs uncertainly, and Cubert gaps for a second. The
three exchange glances. No one else notices. MATT: (CONT) It
was weally pwetty. It was shiny and blue, and it was spinning... it
looked like a cave. I went inside, and there were all dese numbers
inside. A whole bunch of 'em. Numbers I can't count up to yet. I
picked one and I was in that woom again... FRY: Woah, wait
Matt. That isn't real. You probably just dreamed that up or
something... FARNSWORTH: Actually, he may be telling the
truth. (The crew stares at him). But first, we must be absolutely
sure that he saw what he did. Coincidentally, I need someone to test
my Mind Reader! (Flashes Matt a "mad scientist" grin) FRY:
Oh no! Not on my nephew you aren't. Can't you use Cubert or
something? LEELA: Fry, if the thing works, we can find out
what really happened to Matt. FRY: (hesitant) Well... okay.
But if anything happens, I get to make Leela kick your
ass. FARNSWORTH: (not listening) Fine, fine. Farnsworth
takes the Mind Reader from off the table and straps it onto Matt's
head and turns it on. From a camera lense in the center of the
helmet, a holograph is projected, into the middle of the group.
FARNSWORTH: Now, Matthew, could you tell us everything that
happened again? I'll save you the second flashback and cut
straight to the holograph. The holograph shows the Cryogenics room of
2000. At first, it looks empty. But the door bursts open and in
storms an acrimonious-looking man with blonde hair, dragging Matthew
(visibly upset) by the arm. At the moment, no one can really make out
what he's saying over the drone of Matthew's voice-over. He throws
Matt into the center of the room and pulls out a revolver. The man
aims and fires, but nothing happens. He tries again, but the
gun just clicks in return. MAN: God(beepin')damnit! (To Matt)
You stay here you little sonofabitch. I'm not through with you yet.
(SOTTO) Maybe there's an emergency ax in the hall... The man
storms out of the room. Matthew stands around, looking petrified.
Outside, a clock strikes midnight. At the 12th stroke, there's a
bright flash of light that temporarily turns the hologram white
(NOTE: Since it's now 12:00, it's technically Nov. 15th). When the
brightness fades, there's a spinning blue vortex a few feet away from
Matt, about 7 feet tall and three feet wide. Matt stares at it,
mesmerized. SFX: FOOTSTEPS Matt freaks out and jumps
into the vortex. The Cryogenics lab disappears and is replaced by a
swirling blue mist full of different dates all in the same format
(day-month-year). Matt looks around curiously... Cubert
interrupts the scene. CUBERT: (stunned) My God, it's true!
FRY: (obviously ticked at the man) That bastard had better be
rotting in hell... FARNSWORTH: Of course, that explains
everything! Matt didn't use a freezing capsule, he stumbled upon a
Blue Streak! BENDER: A what-what? LEELA: There's been
this theory going around that... well, you know what a wormhole is,
right? BENDER: Uh, no. LEELA: A wormhole is a hole that
leads through a tunnel in time; you go in one way and come out the
other. You end up in the same place, but in a different time period.
FARNSWORTH: Mind you, most wormholes are about as big as the
average-sized planet. But there was a theory going around that there
were rare wormholes small enough to be found on earth, say in a room
or house of some sort, in the shape tall, thin, holes of spinning
blue mist, thus giving them the name Blue Streaks, and so far,
Matthew has described their features perfectly. Those spinning
numbers were actually dates. Supposedly, all's you had to do was walk
into it, and it would take you to that day, month and year. HERMES:
I still don' get it, mon. If there were so many numbers, how'd he
pick the year dat we were livin' in? MATT: I picked _my_
number. Two-won-two-twee-oh-oh-twee. I thought it would take me
home. FRY: Hey! 2123003 is the address on the door of my
brother's apartment. LEELA: And it was also yesterday's date!
2/12/3003! MATT: So... how come I'm not home? Whatever
cleverness the crew saw in Matt is quickly replaced by pity. Fry
looks around his friends eagerly for advice, but no one has any to
spare... FRY: Uhhh... Matt, you're... how do I say this...
you're in the future. MATT: Future? BENDER: Yeah, you
know. The future. The place that comes around after you die. Except
this time you're not dead, and everyone else you knew is. FRY:
The only problem is... your mom and dad... (winces) _aren't_ in the
future. They're back where you were. In the past. MATT: Oh. So
why don't we go back to the past? Fry groans and
buries his head in his hands. FRY: Matt, the truth is... we
don't know how to get you home. Big ol' PAUSE here. MATT:
(upset) So I'm not going home? FRY: Nu-uh. MATT:
(sniffling) No mommy and daddy? FRY: No. MATT:
(wailing) But I wanna go home! You take me home! FRY: Matthew,
kiddo, I can't... MATT: I HATE YOU! And with that, the
bawling toddler rushes out of the room in a fit. Fry just sits there,
stunned. All is quiet in the room for awhile. LEELA: (gently)
Fry, don't sweat it. You tried your best. He'll just have to get used
to it, that's all. FRY: (shakes his head) No. He'll never get
used to it. _I'm_ still not used to it, and look at me; I've never
fit in anywhere else than here. He gets up and heads out of
the room, in the same direction as Matt. FRY: Look, I'm gonna
find Matthew and take him home; I guess this was too much for him to
handle today... He leaves without any other parting words, not
even a goodbye. END OF ACT 2 ACT 3 INT-
PE HANGER Fry's wandering around the near-empty room,
searching in vain for Matt. He glances up at the ship and thinks for
a moment. CUT TO- PE SHIP- BRIDGE Matt's curled up on
the couch, pouting his ickle heart out as he clutches his Binky doll
close to him. Fry's shadow falls over him, and he tenses up. MATT:
Weave me alone. FRY: *Sigh* Matt, I'm really sorry about
this. But it's not your fault. It's not my fault. And it's defiantly
not your mom and dad's fault. MATT: Den who's fawlt is
it? FRY: No one's. Well, maybe that guy who tried to shoot
you. (SOTTO) Lousy bastard... (To Matt) But it'll be okay. We can
still have fun, right? MATT: Wite. FRY:
(cheerful) See, everything's right with the world. (See's Matt's
downcast look and frowns). Tell you what; since you're so unhappy
about being in the future, I'll let you do whatever you want to
today. MATT: (perks up) Anyting? FRY: Anything in the
universe. MATT: (thinks) Well... (glances out window) I know!
Matt stands up on the couch and whispers his plan to Fry. Fry
smirks. FRY: Yeah, I think we can do that. (Calling) Hey
Leela! Got a favor for ya! EXT MILKY WAY GALAXY-
LATER There's a shot of the PE ship as it flies past the
camera. CUT TO- PE BRIDGE Inside, Leela is at the helm
and Fry's on the couch. Both are watching Matthew, who's infatuated
with the scene outside the window. MATT: (excited) This is
SOOO KEWL! I don' hate you now, Unkie Phil. FRY: Oh. Well,
that's good. MATT: You get to do this ev'ry day? You lucky! I
want your job when I grow up! FRY: (chuckles) I'd trade jobs
with you any day, kiddo. LEELA: So this is your first time in
space? MATT: Uh huh. I like outside space! It's fun! Oh, and I
don' hate you too, Leela. LEELA: Well I appreciate
that. MATT: And thanks for taking da metal thingy out of my
hand. It huwt. Nibbler scurries onto the bridge and into
Leela's lap. Matt watches with interest. MATT: Wat's
dat? LEELA: This is my pet, Nibbler. You want to hold
him? MATT: Weally? Okay! Matt rushes over to Leela, who
hands him Nibbler. He cradles him in awe for awhile, although Nibbler
doesn't seem to enjoy it much. MATT: He's weally soft. Is he a
funny doggy? LEELA: Nope. He's an alien, like me. MATT:
Wow! (To Nibbler) Wanna see outside space? Matt carries
(well, more or less drags) Nibbler to the window. The two adults
watch. FRY: (watching Matt, talking to Leela) Kids are so easy
to please. And when they're happy, they're so cute. Almost makes me
wish I had one. And then I remember the lifelong commitment part
(shudders). LEELA: I always wanted a kid of my own. A little
baby I could raise. They all seem so sweet. (Saddened) Too bad no one
else I meet will feel that way, But at the rate things are going, I
won't come even close to thinking about having children... FRY:
Eh, so you got stuck with some lousy boyfriends before. Including me
(Leela goes red). You'll find the right guy one of these days,
someone who sees things your way. LEELA: That's not what I
mean. Even if I did meet "the one"... there's still...
well, the issue of... I mean, it would be impossible to... FRY:
To what? LEELA: For all I know, I'm the last of my species.
I'm not a subbreed of human, Fry, I'm an alien. And that technically
means I can't... well... _breed with humans_. FRY:
So? LEELA: *sigh* Never mind. CUT TO- PE HANGER-
LATER The ship lands (blah blah blah), Fry, Leela and Matt get
off (yada yada yada), the Professor hurries towards them with a stack
of papers in his arms, looking anxious, his clone not far
behind... FARNSWORTH: Fry! Good news, my boy! It seems that
this Blue Streak that Matt's discovered makes nightly returns.
BENDER: (entering) Wait, wha'd I miss? FARNSWORTH: As
I was saying, you could take the boy back tonight! FRY:
(awed) You m... I c.... wa... I can go back? Back home? FARNSWORTH:
Why, of course. According to my calculations, you could go back and
forth between our two time zones without harm! PAUSE as our
Future Trio glance warily at the professor, before turning their
attention to Cubert. CUBERT: Don't worry. I checked his
calculations. FRY/LEELA/BENDER: Oh, well, of course/that's a
relief/nice to know/ etc. FRY: You hear that, Matt? We're
going home! MATT: (pouts) Aw... But I wanna stay
here. PAUSE FRY: We'll talk, OK? C'mon, let's go
celebrate with some ice cream. My treat. BENDER: Sweet! Free
food! I'm there, baby! CUT TO- STREETS OF NNY- AFTERNOON ZOOM
IN on Fry as our Future Trio (with Matt, of course) walk out of the
corner "Dotty Dot" Ice Cream Store. FRY: Man, the
ice cream of the future is so much cooler than the stuff we had back
1000 years ago. ZOOM OUT to reveal Fry and the others are each
holding a cone of a single "dot" of ice cream. The dot
can't even be seen, and it's not until Fry searches his cone and
finally dumps it's continents into his open mouth that we see the dot
tumble out (and we're talking a small dot, here). So much for Dippin'
Dots. LEELA: So Fry, what are you gonna do when you get
back. FRY: Meh, you know. Take Matt back to my bro, go visit
my parents, check out the latest crazes, the latest styles, the
latest babes, see which shows FOX put on hiatus... BENDER:
Man, how long are you planning on staying? FRY: (PAUSE) You
know, I'm not sure. Maybe a week. Maybe two. Just long enough to see
what I missed, who I missed. (Joking) Who knows, I might just stay
there forever. Leela and Bender stop in their tracks and stare
at Fry, shocked. He continues on ahead, not noticing their appalled
stares. CUT TO- PE BUILDING- CONFERENCE ROOM-
EVENING Everyone in the PE crew, minus the Frys, are gathered
at the table. LEELA: ...I don't know what to do! If we let him
go, he might stay forever. BENDER: But if we let him stay,
we've got the kid on our hands. It's a loose-loose
situation. HERMES: Get off it, mon. He wouldn' stay forevah!
(PAUSE) Would he? FARNSWORTH: And so what if he does. It's his
right to. So we'd loose a friend. So I'd loose an employee. So what?
As long as _he's_ happy, isn't that all that matters? LEELA:
No. CUBERT: Nope. BENDER: Nu-uh. AMY: Hell
no. ZOIDBERG: _I_ want to be happy! LEELA: Maybe you
don't see a problem with it, professor, but if it weren't for Fry,
Bender and I might not be where we are today. BENDER: Yeah,
because of him, we're stuck in a low paying, hazardous job, have been
through at least three universal wars, and had six theft charges
slapped on us in the last two months alone! AMY: Bender, that
was _your_ fault. BENDER: So? He was still there when it
happened! ZOIDBERG: I want to be happy! Someone make me
happy! LEELA: *Sigh* If he left forever... it just wouldn't be
the same without him. CUBERT: Yeah, the ship would actually be
clean for once... HERMES: He wouldn' be buggin' us every two
minutes wit one of 'is stupid questions... BENDER: My
apartment _would_ have the extra closet space... LEELA: The
place would just feel so... so... BENDER: Empty? LEELA:
Yeah. I don't know what we'd do without him. FRY: (OS) You
guys are _pathetic_! All heads turn towards the doorway; Fry's
standing there (Matt behind him), looking vexed. FRY: (CONT)
Look at you. You're all acting like I'm dying tomorrow. CUBERT:
Well, technically, if you _do_ go back at midnight, you will be dead
by our standards... AMY: You know, Cubert, there's a line
between being annoying and being a smart ass. Yet you seem to cover
both at the same time. FRY: Don't worry. I'm coming back.
All's I'm doing is dropping Matthew back home. (Mocking) Or is that
thought too scary for you? BENDER: Oooh. Very good, Fry.
Spoken like a true jackarse. FARNSWORTH: Calm down, everyone.
We only have a limited amount of time before that portal
opens. Farnsworth glances down at is watch, as if to prove his
point. ZOOM IN to the watch to show that it's 8:35 PM. CUT TO the
watch flashing 11:42 PM. ZOOM OUT to show the professor, Leela,
Bender, Matt and Fry all standing outside the Cryogenics
Building. FARNSWORTH: Well, it's time you started heading on
in. Remember, Fry. You need to select the date November _15th_. FRY:
But I thought he was kidnaped on the 14th. FARNSWORTH: Well,
technically, no. When that clock struck midnight, the date changed to
the 15th. If you try to take him back a day earlier, you'll end up
with two Matthews. BENDER: *Shudders* Please, don't even think
of such horrors! LEELA: I'll sneak them in. It shouldn't be
too hard; Terry has guard duty tonight. BENDER: Hey Fry, just
don't forget us when your back there, 'K? FRY: I told you
already; I'm coming back. I wouldn't abandon my best friends without
at least a _week's_ notice. BENDER: Well... alright. LEELA:
We'd better sneak in now. FRY: Okay. Bye, you two. BENDER:
Bye buddy. (To Matt) Bye ya little home wrecker. FARNSWORTH:
Pleasant trip! As Fry (carrying his nephew) and Leela slip
through the back door, Bender calls out a few final words. BENDER:
Hey bud! Can I sell your stuff if you're not back in a week? CUT
TO- THE CRYOGENIC FREEZING LAB The three are standing there
idly, awaiting the vortex. Fry's rubbing a bruise on his forehead,
muttering about a "stupid automatic door". LEELA:
Well, Matt, it was nice meeting you. I'm sorry things couldn't work
out any better. MATT: (obviously tired) Dat okay. *Yawn* Even
for a monstow, you're weally nice. LEELA: Now Fry, I want you
to be careful back there. You haven't been in the 20th Century for
over three years, and who knows what you may have forgotten. No
talking to strange dark men in alleys, no courting strange sullen
women in alleys, no petting rabid dogs in alleys... FRY:
Leela, calm down. Nothing is going to happen! Fry puts his
free hand on her shoulder and smiled warmly at her. Leela tries to
smile back, but her concern overrides her facial features. FRY:
(stunned) You really _are_ worried about me, aren't you? (Leela
shrugs uncomfortably) You really think I'm going to stay. LEELA:
Fry... FRY: Leela, I'd never just leave my friends hanging.
Especially you and Bender. (Leela coughs *Michelle* under her breath)
I mean, you guys are the whole reason that I stick around this
century. If I didn't like it here, what's stopping me from freezing
myself for another 1000 years? LEELA: (interrupting) And
what's stopping you from not coming back? (PAUSE) I'm sorry... it's
just... Fry, I'll be honest. If I had the chance to go and stay with
my family, I'd take it without hesitation. FRY: Leela, this
is _different_. I've already lived through the horror of family; you
haven't. Look, if it'll make you feel better, I'll stay for one day.
And then I'll come back. Okay? LEELA: You promise? FRY:
Yeah. The two just stand there for a few seconds, staring at
each other. They give each other a mild smile, and then they embrace
tightly. MATT: *Ack* Unkie Phil... I can't bweathe! FRY:
(sheepish) Sorry, kiddo. Out of what seems to be nowhere, a
clock begins to strike midnight. With every *DONG*, the three look
around expectantly for the Blue Streak. At the twelfth *DONG* It also
appears out of what seems to be nowhere, highlighting the room in a
turquoise glow. FRY: Well, I'd better go. Bye Leela. LEELA:
Bye. (Fry heads for the vortex) Fry? You'll remember; two days. I
want to see you back at midnight, February 13th... FRY: Jeeze,
Leela. I'll remember. And with that, he steps in. CUT
TO- BLUE STREAK- INSIDE I'm not sure how to describe this.
Picture a light blue fog that is constantly swirling around. Now,
picture that in the fog, there's literally millions upon billions of
numbers inside, all in the same format (M/D/Y). Fry looks around,
totally clueless. FRY: Uh... crap. How am I supposed to find
November 15th 2000? VORTEX: (VO) I'm sorry; that date has
been used up. Please select another. FRY: Say what? VORTEX:
(VO) You can only select a date once. FRY: But I never
selected a date... VORTEX: (VO) Look, someone entered or
exited the vortex on that day. It can't be used again. So I suggest
that you choose another, bucko! FRY: Jeeze. Push-y. How about
November _16th_, 2000? There's a flash of white, and the date
11/16/2000 appears in front of Fry. He glances around a final time,
before grabbing the number. CUT TO- CRYOGENICS LAB- YEAR
2000 The vortex appears again, literally tossing poor Matt and
Fry out. It vanishes as suddenly as it appeared. FRY:
(sarcastic) Well, thank you. MATT: *Yawn* Can we go home,
Unkie Phil? Fry glances down at a drowsy Matt, then stares out
the window. He's greeted to the chilly scene of the world he thought
he'd left behind for good. No more flying cars, no more shiny,
futuristic buildings, no more Hookerbot5000's. Just the good ol'
20th... no, 21st Century. FRY: Yeah. Let's go home. Fry
starts out of the room, and comes up to the door cautiously. FRY:
(laughs) Now you can't smash me! He begins to pull open the
door, and it comes off of it's hinges and falls on him (yet it misses
Matthew completely). He moans pathetically underneath it. CUT
TO- CRYOGENICS LAB- WINDOW The camera ZOOMS IN to show Fry and
Matt wandering the streets. As they head out of the screen's view, a
light snow begins to fall.
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