When Futurama Meets Starcraft
By Desmond
(Scene: In the Planet Express Meeting Room, everyone is there, Professor
Farnsworth came in.)
Farnsworth: Good news
everyone.
Bender: Oh crap, just
let me enjoy my last moment of robothood. (Bender opens his cavity
and drank all the beer within.)
Farnsworth: You will be
making a delivery to the Planet Korhal, located in Koprulu Sector.
(Fry looked shock and
confused.)
Amy: You mean that dangerous sector where the now dissolved UED sent all its
criminals to die and ended up encountering the Protoss and Zerg?
Fry: Hold on a minute, Korhal, Koprulu, UED, Protoss and Zerg, these are all
the things you can find in Starcraft! I though Starcraft is just
a video game? Did Blizzard Entertainment build a theme park for Starcraft?
Holy cow, I love Starcraft, and StarTrek.
Leela: What craft?
Fry: It is the most popular video game in the 20th century, Leela,
made by Blizzard Entertainment. Starcraft is a phenomenon across the world. There
are three races you can play as in the game, Zerg, Terran, and Protoss. Zerg are
monster like alien that kill anything they saw, Protoss are genius alien that
have psychic energy, and Terran are just human.
Farnsworth: Actually Fry in year 2499, UED scientists found out that Starcraft
is real when they are observing their prisoners in exile. Fearing that the Protoss
and the Zerg might invade Earth, they sent their whole fleet to pacify Koprulu
Sector. And in the end they were defeated and the UED eventually dissolved itself
due to unpopularity amongst its subjects and President of Earth instead of the
UED now rules the Earth.
Leela: Why would they
want to observe some people they wanted to get rid of?
Farnsworth: Scientific research…
(Professor Farnsworth have a flash back to his teens year. It showed the 14-year-old
Farnsworth stealing videotape from the XXX section of the UED video archive when
he left his classmates in a field trip. The video showed a medic taking off her
battle suit and revealing the tight underneath. Farnsworth is drooling.)
Fry: The UED was
defeated, so did the Zerg ever came to Earth and enslaved us?
Leela: (Whispering to Fry) Keep asking questions Fry while me and Bender run
for our lives.
Farnsworth: (Heard Leela) Way you go, Leela, Fry, and Bender. I will answer
all your questions once you return. (Whisper Hermes) Call the newspaper, and repost
our ad that we need a crew.
(Scene: Inside the Planet Express Ship)
Fry: So, where is the
cryogenic chamber? After all, I can't sit around the ship doing
nothing for 23 years.
Leela: Don't
worry Fry, a warp speed engine was installed on this ship, so it will
only take us about 2 months to get there.
Bender: Well, have fun
BORING losers. (Bender shuts down)
Leela: (Hitting Bender)
You still need to cook, Bender. By the way, Professor tells me to
give you this. (Handing Bender a CD) It is a Detection Program, and
we will have some detection device of our own after we installed it.
Bender: Hey, I am
nobody's watchdog, and you know that! (Crossing his hand and
walked away.)
Leela: Then you don't
need to expect me to give you the anti-EM Pulse shield.
Bender: Oh god, not
EMP! (Bender quickly installed the detection program CD) Now the
anti-EM Pulse shield?
Fry: Fool you Bender,
the EMP in Koprulu Sector is so weak that it only drains your energy
and shield. It won't totally make you malfunction, you will
lose all your energy and you can revive by drinking beer.
Bender: Damn primitive
skin tube!
(Planet Express Ship blasted off and flown into space.)
(Caption: 2 weeks later…)
(Cut to: Planet Express Ship flying in Space and closing in on the cockpit.
Inside the cockpit are Leela, Fry, and Bender.)
Fry: Are we there yet?
Leela: No.
Fry: Are we there yet?
Leela: No.
Fry: Are we there yet?
Leela: No.
Fry: Are we there yet?
Leela: No.
Fry: Are we there yet?
Leela: No, no, no. Fry
if you have nothing to do, why don't you go and check on the
package we are delivering. Professor told us to be careful with it
and make sure not to damage it.
Fry: What is in that
package we are delivering anyway?
Leela: I don't know Fry, but if we want to find out we should deliver the package
and look at it once it is opened.
(Cut to: Planet Express cargo base)
Fry: Puff, yak, yak,
yak, oh Fry don't open it, yak, yak, yak. Well I am going to
open it!
(Fry opened the box and
a spinning machine was inside)
Bender: Hey skintube,
what are you doing?
Fry: Hey Bender, come
check it out, we are delivering a satellite dish.
Bender: Hey, that is
not a satellite dish, that is eh-what is that anyway?
(Entered Leela)
Leela: What is going
on?
(Bender and Fry pushed
the package behind some cargo crate with their legs)
Fry and Bender:
Nothing… Hey Leela, don't you need to drive the ship.
Leela: I have it in
autopilot.
(Cut to: Outside the Planet Express Ship showing the it flying
through space)
(Caption: 2 months later…)
(Scene: Showing Leela,
Fry, and Bender in the cockpit)
Fry (Seemed
Intoxicated): Are we there yet?
Leela (Seemed very
tired and stressed out): No…
Fry: Are we there yet?
Leela: No
Fry: Are we there yet?
Leela: No, No, N-Hold
on Fry…
(The map chart is
beeping and a red light is flashing)
Leela (Cheerfully):
Fry, Bender, we are in Koprulu Sector.
(Fry and Bender high
five and they started drinking)
(The Planet Express Ship slowed down and it flew past a white planet)
(Fry walked to a
window.)
Fry: That must be
Braxis, wow, I never imagine about being in a video game before.
Bender: Wake up PC
nerd, you are in the real world right now.
Fry: Ok, Ok, but I just can't believe that Starcraft is real. (A part
of Braxis blurred) Hey, what the…
(Cut to: Outside the Planet Express Ship, and something exploded beside
it and the ship shook)
Leela: That won't be Zapp Brannigan, oh no, not space pilot! Fry, get to the
gun port, Bender, the engine room and get the engine burning. Leela, let's rock!
(Planet Express ship
is speeding through space and explosions are all around Planet
Express ship.)
(Cut to: The Cockpit)
Leela (Spotting blurs):
Blurs, not cloaking, Bender, activate your Detection Program.
Bender: Yes Leela. (The
antenna on Bender's head starts spinning and detected a couple
of T-Shaped planes outside the ship)
(Cut to: Fry in the gun
port)
Fry: Wow, I never
imagine about seeing a Wraith, but now I am going to shot one
down. (Fry opened fired on one of the Wraith and the Wraith
exploded.)
Fry: Fry shoots, Fry
scores. (Seeing more Wraiths) Oh crap.
(The left side of the
engine exploded and the Planet Express Ship are spinning above a
broken space platform. Then the ship stopped completely, everything
was shut down, including lights.)
Fry: Leela, I think we
just got "Locked Down".
Leela: In other words, we are doomed.
(Just as a ship with a
similar size as the Planet Ship landed and unloaded its soldiers
within, a couple of the unloaded soldiers broke into two pieces and
the ship exploded after a Red Beam struck it)
Fry: Leela, that
Dropship was destroyed by what I think is a Yamato Gun, maybe
help is coming.
Leela: Why would anyone
want to help us?
Fry: I don't know, but- (Fry saw a gigantic ship flying above them with a couple
of slim, golden ship shooting down the Wraiths which just attacked the
Planet Express Crew. Fry looked in awe.) Holy crap, it is a Battle Cruiser,
I never imagine that they are so big before. No way, those golden ships are Scouts,
and there are 10 of them. (Seeing the Battle Cruiser's name, it is called
Hyperion.)
Leela: Fry, are you ok,
Fry?
Fry: Leela, we are
saved, Captain Jim Raynor and his Protoss allies have come and saved
us.
Hyperion: I don't
know who you are, but if you want to stay alive, I suggest you to
prepare your ship for dimensional recall.
Leela: Dimensional
recalled, ok, all prepared.
(Many wormholes are
opened besides and above the Planet Express ship, and seconds
later the Planet Express Ship is in a Jungle)
(Leela and Fry exited
the ship through an emergency door, and saw the ship in total ruin)
Fry: I am surprise that we didn't die.
Leela: Where is Bender?
(Cut to: In the engine
room, Fry and Leela saw Bender lying on the ground, motionless.)
Fry (Crying): No
Bender, no you can just go like this, NOOOOOOOOOOOO.
Leela (Also Crying): I
am sorry Fry, I shouldn't have sent Bender unprotected to the
Engine Room alone.
(They exited the ship
again, and the Hyperion landed beside the Planet Express ship, and
a figure wearing a huge armor exited.)
Jim Raynor: Hi, I am
Jim Raynor, the Captain of the forces Raynor's Raynor, and
these are my tro-(Seeing the upset Fry and Leela) what is the matter,
something's wrong?
Leela (Raising her head): Captain Raynor, I am Captain Turanga Leela of the
Planet Express Ship and one of my me - no one of my friend, Bender died.
Jim Raynor: (Surprised when he saw Leela's eye) Oh, there, there.
(Cut
to: The Engine Room)
Jim
Raynor: Oh my, that is a weird armor, oh wait, Bender is a robot.
(Laughing) Oh Bender is not dead, he was just "Locked Down".
Didn't you remember that your ship got "Locked Down"
on the broken space platform, every single electronic appliance and
machinery in the ship will shut down, including your robotic friend
Bender.
Fry:
So Bender is just off, right?
Jim
Raynor: Exactly, Medic, we got a situation here.
(Moments
later, a Medic entered the Engine Room and restored Bender.)
Bender:
Oh crap, what just happened?
Fry
(hugging Bender): Oh Bender, I miss you so much, we thought that you
are dead.
Bender:
Really, I came back from Robot Hell! Kiss my shiny metal ass, Robot
Devil.
(Bender
opened his chest cavity and drink some beer)
(Scene:
Inside Hyperion)
(Jim
Raynor raised his visor of his battle armor and revealed to be a head
in a jar.)
Jim Raynor: Captain Leela, we don't really know about your motive of delivering
a Psi Emmiter into Dominion Space, but one thing for sure is those damn machines
are responsible for the annialation of all the lives on three planets, giving
a wild woman back the power she don't deserves, and almost cost you your life.
Fry:
That thing is a Psi Emmiter?
Jim
Raynor: If you are delivering a Psi Emmiter, you have to know what it
is, right?
Leela:
Captain Raynor, we really don't know that "Psi Emmiter"
is, honest.
Jim
Raynor: Then why is it opened?
Leela:
Opened? PHILIP. J. FRY!
Fry:
Yea, I opened the box a two months ago to take a look at what it is,
andd Bender looked at it as well.
Bender:
Hey, stop blaming the innocent.
Jim
Raynor: You opened that box for two months and you didn't get
attacked by Zerg, you guys are lucky! By the way, where are you from
anyway?
Fry:
We are from Earth.
Jim
Raynor: Earth? Is this another part of UED's evil scheme?
Leela: No, the UED dissolved itself sometime after the Galatic War for
Domination, now instead of UED, the earth is ruled by the President of
Earth.
Fry:
And his name is Richard Nixon, he became President because Leela
forgot to vote.
Radio:
Captain Raynor, we are about to destory the Psi Emmiter. Awaiting
your order.
Jim Raynor: Blow it.
(Cut
to: Outside the Planet Express Ship, after a small explsion, smoke
came out of it.)
Leela: Well, so much for the two months we wasted. Let's go home.
Jim
Raynor: Actually, your ship damaged so much that it will take a
months just to figure out where to fix first, and three more months
for the exterior, and six for months for the engine to be fixed.
Totally, you guys will be stranded for ten months.
(Leela
and Bender's jaw dropped while Fry dances in the background.)
Fry: So can we stay with you guys?
To be continued
Note: Though I wrote
this whole story, Blizzard Entertainment creates all the stuff about
Starcraft. So…
©1998 Blizzard
Entertainment. All rights reserved. StarCraft, Brood War and Blizzard
Entertainment are trademarks or registered trademarks of Blizzard
Entertainment in the U.S. and/or other countries.
Still, Futurama is a ©
and TM by Fox and The Curiosity Company. |
