Fry was down. He was lower than he’d ever been. He hadn’t felt this bad since Leela had been in a comma. At lest then he had her walking up to keep him hopeful. Now, he had nothing. Correction, he did have one thing. Bender and his stash of gut rot. And for fifty bucks, it seemed like a good deal. But he slowly began to see that the more he drank, the worse he felt. Eventually, he just started blubbering away to Bender.
Sniff. “It’s not fair. I’ve…hick…I’ve been there since day one. And I barley get a…hick…passing glance. Then this stiff comes in…hick…comes in and steals her away in one night. What’s wrong with me?”
Bender listened. He didn’t want to, but there was nowhere else to go, and Fry was a mess. He couldn’t be left alone. Inside Bender’s processer a battle was raging. His in-your-face interface, and his kindness database were at again.
“Damn friendship file. I should have deleted you years ago. Let the meatbag be, he’ll be better in a few hours.”
“But he’s the only human to ever actually care for you.”
“Alright, but I’m tired of that excuse.”
“Well, if you’d upgrade me ever once in a while…”
“Don’t start that again!”
Back with Bender as a whole, he decided to ignore whatever those two were fighting about, and look at this logically. He couldn’t leave, and Fry was to annoying to listen to. But he will keep talking, even if I ignore him. Maybe if make him feel better, he’ll shut up.
“Alright Fry, here’s what I think. He’s gonna be just like ever other guy she’s dated. They talk, they sleep, he screws up, she dumps his sorry ass, and she cries on you for a week. You should know that by now.”
“Sniff…But, when I was walking home, I saw them kissing, and then she took him inside.”
“And I’ll bet by tomorrow, he’ll have left in the night, and everything will be back to normal.”
“Yeah. Yeah, you…you must be right. I think I…” Before he could even finish his sentence, he passed out. The sorrow, hard liquor, and the long day had been too much.
“Finally.” said Bender. “I need to remember that. Talking makes them fall to sleep. Now then, time for the All My Circuits rerun marathon.”
Back at Leela’s, everything was quite. Jordan woke up, and looked at the clock. 11:33. I never got to finish those hot wings, he thought. Oh well. I’ll just go get something from that place down the street. Should only take a minute. He yawned, put the pistol back in its holster, and walked out into the cool night air. There was a doughnut place about a block and a half down, so he decided that would have to do. He walked in, and bought a dozen, and a hot chocolate. Then, he went out and sat outside, with the apartment door just in sight. He started talking to himself.
“How long has it been since I just sat down, and looked at the stars? Maybe it’s time to think about retiring. Seven years, and I’ll still at it. Maybe after I reach Captain.” He took a long swig of his chocolate, and then started munching on a doughnut. “All it took to get you to think about doing this was a women.” he said shacking his head. “Little brother would be jumping up and down, I told you so, I told you so.” He though back on his brother. He hadn’t seen him since he had joined. He had heard rumors that he had just been shipped to basic training, but he wasn’t sure. “Oh well. Still is a nice night.” He finished his doughnuts, and looked at his watch. 12:00. “Maybe another cup, and then…uh oh.” Someone was bent over the door to the apartment. He struggled for a minute, then the door opened, and he walked in with his hand in his pocket. “That can’t be good.” he said jumping up. He left the box on the table, and ran to the door. He quietly pushed the door open, and looked around. The bedroom door was slightly cracked. It was closed all the way when he left. “Oh crap. I’m gonna need that extra surprise I saw in the closet.”
Leela couldn’t sleep. She had too much on her mind. Jordan was treating her like royalty. He had stood up to Brannigan, drunkards, and even Nibbler. He was brave, loyal, and just a little silly. But she still wasn’t sure that he was different then all the others. She had never seen Brannigan coming down the street. What if this was a trick? She just wasn’t sure. Than, she heard the door quietly open and someone in heavy boots walk in. So that’s his game, she thought. And just when I thought I had met a nice guy.
“So Jordan, their was no guard, was there.”
“Oh there was.” said a deep voice. She felt the cold steel of a pistol on her forehead. “And he is me.”
“What do you want?”
“Simple. You tell me where Mr. Walden is, and everything turns out fine.” There was a loud snap, and the lights came on. When the man turned around, he saw the business end of a double barrel shotgun about six inches from his face. On the safe end, stood Jordan. He was a little winded, and he looked like he knew what he was doing. Now to be in bed, and have someone put a gun to your head is scary enough. But to be the one breaking in and then being caught in the act by a very pissed Marine with a shotgun is a new level of terrifying. He kept the barrels level with the intruder, and said in a much thicker accent than normal, “Howdy. Are you looking for someone?”
The intruders face turned pale. He just stood there, and nodded.
“Let me guess, you were sent by…”
“Zapp Brannigan.” said a new voice. Jordan quickly spun around, and came face to face with the muzzle of a blaster pistol. Brannigan stood behind it with an evil grin. “First he bleaches my uniform. Then, you try to ruin my good name with that after action report from the kill-bot incident. And now you steal Leela from me.”
“You know as well as I do all those troops who died to the kill bots could have been saved if you had just EMP’ed them. Instead you sent waves to die! Besides, I can’t lie on an after action report.”
“EMP would have worked, but I wouldn’t have been a hero. Now, it looks like I’m a hero. When your report gets through those file sorters in thirty to forty years, it could ruin me. And I won’t let that happen. Now, just slowly put that gun down.”
“Aright, whatever you say.” He slowly lowered the muzzle. When it was even with Zapp’s crouch, he smiled and said, “Good night.” and pulled the trigger. There was a deafening roar, and a ball of fire as the right barrel fired. Zapp instantly went down. Meanwhile, Jordan used the recoil of the shot to drive his elbow in the other man’s chin. He dropped his pistol, and was out cold. He looked at the intruder, who was in a DOOP uniform, and then at Zapp to take sure they were down for the count, then turned to Leela, and smiled.
“I can’t even go out for doughnuts without someone trying to kill me.” Leela didn’t say a thing. She simply looked back and forth between Jordan, and the two bodies on the floor.
“You…you killed Zapp?” she stammered.
“Not quite,” he said opening the shotgun. He took out the unfired shell, and opened it. He turned it upside down, and a beanbag fell onto the floor. “It’s a none lethal crowd control round. It doesn’t kill, but it hurts a lot. Especially were Zapp got hit.” He chuckled at the thought, but noticed Leela was still quite. He put his hand on her forehead. “Your ice cold.” he said. “Wait here.” He left, and then came back five minutes later, completely out of breath with a hot chocolate. “Here, drink this. I don’t need you going into shock. That would ruin what’s left of my day.” After she drank the coco, she felt much better and finally dared to talk.
“You risked your life for me. Why?”
“Three reasons. One, it’s my mission.” She didn’t like that answer, but nodded. “Two, where I come from, it’s very impolite to point guns at people. Especially ladies in their sleep.” She smiled a little at that. “At three, I…um what I mean is…I…I love you.” She was shocked. Sure she had seen it coming, but she didn’t expect him to admit it now. He took her hand, and sat down next her on the bed. “I won’t let anyone hurt you. Not Brannigan, not pirates, not anyone. I give my word, as a southerner, and a gentleman.” She didn’t know what to say. She didn’t know what to do, so she let instinct take over. She wrapped her arms around him, and started to cry. She didn’t know why. Shock, happiness, the crazies, it didn’t matter. He loved her, and she loved him. That was all she needed. She cried for several minutes, and the entire time, Jordan held her, and stroked her hair, talking to her and trying to calm her down like a child. After a few minutes, she cried herself to sleep. He covered her up, kissed her on the cheek, dragged the intruders out, and silently closed the door.
When she woke up the next morning, she wasn’t sure that what had happened last night was real or just a dream. The bodies were gone, and there was no sign of Jordan. She went to make some coffee, but when she walked in the kitchen, breakfast was ready, coffee was made, and there was a note next to her plate. “Dear Leela, Sorry I to leave, but I had to drop Zapp and his buddy off somewhere in case they woke up. I made breakfast, so just enjoy until it’s time to go. See you at work. Love, Jordan.”
She smiled. It wasn’t a dream, and he didn’t even ask for a reward. He was also certainly the one
Brannigan woke up with the biggest headache he’d had in a long time. The first thing he noticed was that he wasn’t in his cabin. He was in a prison cell. “Oh lord, what happened?” Then he remembered. The dance, the break in, the feeling of victory, the agony of defeat, and shotgun fire. He winced at the last part. “Damn, that’s still sore. He’ll pay for this.”
“That’s what you think.” He looked out in the hallway, and saw an officer in DOOP uniform. “You are under arrest for neglect of duty, attempted murder, and breaking and entering. And I also came across this.” he said holding up a copy of Jordan’s after action report. “Your dismissal is currently pending. Enjoy your stay. You’ll be here a while.” Zapp just hung his head in defeat. He didn’t need to say anything. He knew that Jordan had won, and there was nothing he could do about it.
It was 9:00 at the Planet Express building when Leela walked in. She looked around for Jordan. She saw Hermes filling out paperwork at a desk, Amy talking on the phone with Kif, Zoidburg was in a cage trying to reach an owl standing next to the cage, and the Professor was walking toward the cage with some horrible zapping electrical monster of a machine. It was a normal day. But where was Jordan? Just then he walked in the door. It was obvious that he didn’t sleep very much last night. His uniform was crisp as ever, but he had dark rings under his eyes, and his eyes were dull.
“Are you alright?”
“Yeah,” he said in a craggily voice. “I just need some coffee.”
“Here let me get it. You just lay down on the couch.” He didn’t argue. He laid down, and was asleep in a few minutes. She walked in, and he was snoring away. She hated to wake him up, but they had a delivery to make. “It can wait until Fry can get here.” She sat down in the chair next to the couch, and watched. He was twitching in his sleep, and muttering something about kill bots. He was having a nightmare. She reached over, and began stroking his head. “Hush now, and sleep.” she whispered. He stopped muttering, and a smile graced his face. She couldn’t help but smile. “Good night.” she whispered, and kissed his forehead. “Hopefully Fry’s late, and he can get some sleep.”
An hour later, Fry and Bender walked in. Fry had a major hangover, but he didn’t care. He wanted to be there for Leela to help her get over whatever Jordan had done to make her hate him. She walked into the lobby, and ran up to him. “Fry, you’ll never guess what happened.”
“I’ll here for you Leela.”
“Jordan saved my life.”
“Huh?”
“Zapp sent troops after us, but he beat them up, and he told me he loved me!”
“Oh...that’s great.” Now what, he thought. I’ll have to talk to him. “Where is he now?”
“He’s asleep on the couch. He left after I fell asleep, and just now got back. I better go get him up; we’ve got a delivery to make.”
Fry watched her go back into the lounge, and felt tears begin to burn his eyes. Bender walked up behind him, and put his hand on his shoulder.
“Whelp, your relationship is officially boned.”
