(The Valiant-class carrier battleships were first produced in the 2950s, as a result of the century-long arms race with the Omicronians. They were 3,623 feet long, 950 feet wide, and 432 feet tall. The bow section that was angular shaped, like a alligator head, held the Command and Control center, the water storage tanks and the crew breathing areas. The midsection of the ship held the aircraft storage and maintenance facilities. Also the midsection contained the dual landing pods on either side of the ship. These were 800 feet long, 200 feet wide and 200 feet high. Just forward of these were the launching bays for the ships spacecraft. These included two squadrons of 18 X-83 Twin Tail star fighters, one squadron of Higgins-class drop ships, and two squadrons of Preybird-class multi-role ships. The Valiant’s were powered by eight AS30 fusion reactors. These were capable of producing 99 percent light speed, but because of design flaws and DOOP regulations, they were often operated at 85 to 90 percent light speed. The crew complement was 3,500 sailors, including pilots. These ships also carried a battalion of DOOP Marines. Armament included 30 large rail guns mounted on dual turrets, 300 point-defense turrets for close-in defense, along with 20 missile pods capable of launching nuclear missiles.
Because of the high costs of both building and maintaining these ships, only six were ever built. They were the DSS Valiant, CVB-70; DSS Valkyrie, CVB-71; DSS Yorktown, CVB-72; DSS Excalibur, CVB-73; DSS Theodore Roosevelt, CVB-74; DSS Midway, CVB-75; and DSS Ronald Regan, CVB-76. At the end of the arms race in the early 2990s, these ships were seen as a money-pit and were mothballed for long-term storage. With the attack on the DOOP Task Force monitoring the Muscovy Separatist, and the Nimbus in dry dock, it was decided that these mammoth ships would once again serve in combat. Ships of the DOOP Navy, Jane’s Space Review, New New York Press, 3056.)
(After the surprise attack on the DOOP was desperately short of pilots, and so Earth President Nixon put a draft into effect. New draftees reported to Pensacola Naval Spaceport on Mars for training. The training doctrine started with the six-week Officer Candidate School, which taught the new recruits the responsibilities of being an officer and how to both take orders and give them. Next was a two-week Survival, Evasion, Resistance, and Escape (SERE) course. During the SEER course, trainees were taught how to survive, escape, evade, and resist capture by the enemy. After successfully completing the SEER course, trainees would advance to the ten-week flight-training course, where they were taught how to fly and engage the enemy. After this four-month training period was over, graduates were given their commissions and their assignments. An Overview of the DOOP Training Practices; DOOP Military Press, 3067.)
Pensacola Naval Spaceport, Mars, 12 June 3008, 1515 Hrs.
After landing at Mars Intergalactic Spaceport, the draftees disembarked from the Eisenhower, and were put aboard waiting hover buses, which took them to the base. After an hour long ride, the buses stopped in front of the barracks building, which was a concrete structure three stories high and painted olive drab. The trainees were taken off the buses and formed into rows on the parade ground in front of the barracks. A rough looking, middle-aged chief petty officer arrived in a hover-jeep, dressed in khakis and next to him was a petty officer dressed in desert camouflage BDUs. He was a tall, lanky man, slightly younger than the Chief, with a visage that somehow combined a tough-as-nails Marine drill sergeant with a bored Grade 45 Bureaucrat. Along the right side of his cheek was a inch-long scar on his right cheek. The man in khakis stood up and placed a hand on the jeeps roll bar.
“I’m Chief Eaglebury, your instructor. Apparently the Democratic Order of Planets has seen it fit to spend money to train you to be pilots. Some of you may not make it. Now Petty Officer James here will begin separating you into your platoons. I suggest you obey his orders.” The chief said, and he left the jeep and walked into the building. James took out a clipboard and said “When I call your name, come forward. Allmen! Robert F! Archer, John S! Argot, Steven B!....”
He continued to call out names, while Fry’s mind slowly began to drift to other thoughts. He began to look around, seeing what the other recruits looked like. As his eyes wandered, he saw a extremely hairy creature, over six feet tall standing amongst them. COOL! That has to be a Wookie! Just like Chewbacca! He thought as his eyes went wide. He looked around and noticed a few other alien creatures, including a reptilian looking creature. After seeing all there was to see, Fry began to nod off, his thoughts turning from aliens to Leela.
Fry was woken about thirty minutes later when Petty Officer James shouted “Fry, Philip J!” It took Fry’s brain a minute to register that his name was called. He slowly walked up to front. He looked up at PO James, wondering what to do. James looked down at him, his stare reminded him of Leela’s when she was annoyed with him.
“Go into the building and you’ll see a line of tables. Go to the labeled F and you’ll receive your assignment.” James said, and resumed to calling out names.
Fry walked into the building, and just like James said, there was a row of tables at the far end, with the line winding its way back to where he stood. This is kind of like registration was at Mars U. Fry stood in the line and waited as it slowly moved forward. About an hour passed before it was Fry’s turn to get his assignment. He glanced back, and saw that the line seemed just as long as it was when he entered. He went forward and stood in front a folding table behind which set a bored looking petty officer third class. The petty officer had a tablet computer sitting on the table.
“Name?”
“Fry, Philip J.” Fry said.
The petty officer entered the information on the tablet.
“Candidate Fry, you are to report Training Company E-223, in building T2251. The one behind this one.” The petty officer said, and handed Fry a piece of paper with his orders on it. Fry took the paper, nodded and went out the back door of the building.
He found building T2251 without that much trouble, there was a large sign on the front declaring the name of the building. He walked in, there was another bored petty officer, with his feet up on a desk. He was reading the newspaper. Fry walked up to him.
“Uh excuse me.” Fry said, the petty officer lowered the newspaper, and looked at Fry.
“Yes?”
“Is this where company E-223 is located?” Fry asked
“And you might be?”
“Fry, Phil J.” Fry answered. He then took the sheet of paper with his orders on it and handed it to him. The petty officer glanced at them, then handed them back.
“Barracks are down the hall, second door on the right.”
“Thanks.”
Fry then walked down the hall and entered the door he was told to. Inside he found humans and aliens, all in various stages of dress. On either side of the long room were metal bunk beds with footlockers at the front of them. He immediately spotted the Wookie-like creature from earlier and quickly walked towards it. As he got closer, he saw that he was dressed in a white polo shirt, with a bandoleer across its chest, and was wearing a pair of Oxford loafers. Fry also noticed something shiny on it’s wrist and continued to walk towards it in a trance.
Fry approached the creature carefully, remembering what Han Solo said about Wookie’s being capable of ripping an arm out of the socket when they get angry. “Uh, hi. Umm, is this.. ah.. bunk taken?" Fry said nervously. The creature turned around and looked at the former delivery boy with interest.
“No, I don’t think anyone has claimed that bunk yet.” The creature said with a British accent.
Fry still looked confused, mostly because of the fact that it spoke Earthican. “Apparently you have never met a member of my species have you?” It replied.
“Only in the Star Wars movies, but never in person. I’ve always wanted to met a Wookie.” Fry said, excited.
“A Wookie? I’ve have never heard of such creatures. I’m a Tarful, from Long Island. My name is Montgomery Patton.”
“Wow, cool. Patton?" Fry said, screwing up his brown in concentration. "I've heard that name before. Wasn't he a drummer for Spinal Tap back in the 80's?"
“I have no idea what that you mean, The Patton’s were famous at Harvard. Many were presidents of my fraternity, I Tappa Kega, and I was apart of that tradition, until I lost my deferment and was drafted. And where might you be from? I don’t believe I know your name?”
“Oh, Phil Fry, but everyone just calls me Fry. And I live in New, New York.”
“A pleasure to meet you Fry. My friends call me Monty.” Monty said, extending a hand. They shook, and then Fry threw a duffle bag onto the bunk above Monty.
“So what’s a deferment?” Fry asked
“Oh, it’s like a draft wavier, for college students. I decided to take a year off from my MBA, but little did I know that I would also lose that.”
“MBA? Hey, I know a monkey that recently got his. Günter, you know him?”
“Afraid not, where did go to school?”
“Mars U.”
“A monkey at Mars U? Hmmp, just shows you they’ll take anybody if you give them enough money. I mean you think Amy Wong got in there on grades alone? Please.”
“Hey, I know and work with Amy Wong. She’s not as stupid as she seems. And I know stupid.”
“Really? And where that might be?”
“At my nephews’ company Planet Express.”
Monty raised an eyebrow at Fry, and then said “Nephew?”
“I fell into one of those freezer thingies back in 1999. And man was I glad that happened.”
“Glad?”
“I hated my old life. My girlfriend just dumped me, I was working at a dead-end job, and was all round miserable. But now in the future, I couldn’t be happier. My best friends a robot, I get to fly through space on a regular basis, and I’m happily married to beautiful woman and have a wonderful family.”
“I see, sounds like you have everything you could ask for.”
At that moment, they were interrupted when a recruit shouted out “Attention on Deck!”
Many of the recruits snapped to attention, and those that didn’t so immediately shortly followed. Petty Officer James entered the room.
“At ease. It is now 1830, I expect you to be settled in by 1845, and dinner will be at 1900 in the main mess. No one will be admitted after 1915. I suggest you get the lead out of your asses and move!” James said, and then he left.
The recruits then resumed getting ready, at a quickened pace.
By 1930, Fry and Monty had finished with their unpacking and had already been through the chow line. Fry had gotten meatloaf, mash potatoes, and what he thought were onion rings, with a Slurm to drink. Monty had the same minus the rings. They had found a seat across the table from the reptilian like creature from earlier.
“Hi, is this seat taken?” Fry said.
“No go ahead.” The creature replied.
“Thanks. I’m Fry, and this is Monty.” Fry said as they sat down.
“Nice to meet you. My name is Barbrella Saurie, Lord Destroyer of Excel 5. You can call me Barbie for short.” Barbie replied.
“Cool! So are you like some kind of lizard warrior princess?” Fry said excitedly, with his mouth full.
“No, no. Nothing like that. I’m a Transdoshan accountant.”
“A Transdoshan accountant? I thought your species were mainly bounty hunters and slavers?” Monty said, curiously.
“Your thinking of my ancestors. Once, long ago, my people were fearsome warriors, hiring our services out to whomever could pay, or working alone as bounty hunters. Then there arose a messiah, The Most Humble Pontificate Madoff of the Great Dismal Berni Swamp, who showed us a better way. He proclaimed that we could do better by using economics than guns. Of course, he was killed almost immediately the ancient tales tell of his severed head being paraded on a pike through out the Seven Kingdoms. But from a small group of followers of the great martyr, there arouse a movement that slowly gained in popularity over the years. Eventually a new leader arises, Lord Jimnor Cramer, Most High Financial Expert. Anyway, over the years our society changed from being a warrior class to being highly respected financial advisers and accountants.”
“Wow, cool. So why did they draft you then?” Fry asked
“Draft? I wasn’t drafted. I enlisted, I just couldn’t stand my old job anymore.”
“You enlisted? What was so bad about your last job?”
“Well I worked at AIG, Alien Intergalactic Group, we manage Earthican investments on alien worlds. I was just your average bean counter, sitting in a cubical surrounded by morons. There was this one guy next to me who just kept complaining about his stapler, and the management was even worse. My boss in particular was annoying as hell. Everyday he came by and asked about my TPS reports and if I got the memo about the new cover sheets. Anyway, after a few bad investments, our clients started to get angry and I eventually found myself receiving death threats. So I quit and decided I'll take my chances in the DOOP.” She said.
“Man am I glad I like my job.” Fry said. Barbie gave him a strange look, not fully understanding why someone would like their job.
“What did you do?”
“Oh I was a delivery boy for my nephews company, Planet Express.”
“You were happy being a delivery boy?”
“At first I wasn't thrilled, but all my dreams of flying through space, meeting aliens and all that I never thought I would get the chance. And it's also where I met my wonderful wife.” Fry said happily.
“Well if you look at it that way I can see why your happy.”
The three of them continued to talk about their families and what they did before as civilians. Both Monty and Barbie found it interesting when Fry talked about Planet Express, and some of their more interesting deliveries, not to mention his coworkers. Before they knew it, dinner was over and it was time to go back to the barracks.
Fry sat up in his bed and began to compose his first letter to Leela.
My Dearest Leela,
Well today we got our company assignments, I'm in E company, 223rd Regiment. So far I've made two really cool friends, Monty and Barbie. They're awesome Leela, I think that you'll like them when I introduce you. I miss both of you already. I love the two of you so much, more than life itself. I keep thinking back to when we came here a few years ago for Mars Day, but wound up tracking down buggalo and freeing Amy. This is going to be a much bigger challenge than that. It's time for me to cowboy up, handle my responsibilities like a man. I swear I'll return to both of you and make you proud. Tomorrow we start Officer Candidate School, or OCS. What they teach us is how to behave like an officer, the customs of the service, physical conditioning, personnel management, the chain of command, how to file proper paperwork, and drills and ceremonies. Should be fun, well it’s lights out so good night for now.
Your Loving Husband,
Fry.
Planet Express, NNYC, 20 June 3008, 0800 Hrs.
Because she had gotten hardly any sleep at all the last few nights, constantly thinking and worrying about Fry, Leela has come in to work early, after making a quick stop by her parents to drop off Leia for the day. She arrived at the office at 7, and had to unlock it herself for Hermes had yet to arrive. By now she was making a fresh pot of coffee, and was pouring into her mug when she heard the door chime.
I wonder who that could possibly be? She thought as she finished pouring the cup. She then walked to the elevator and went down to the lobby. Taking a sip of coffee, she pressed the door open button. Standing outside in a tailored suit was a tall, handsome man. He was wearing sunglasses, carrying a briefcase in one hand and on the other he wore a sliver Wristamjigy.
“Can I help you?” Leela asked.
“Yes, you can. Is this by chance Planet Express Delivery Company?” Than man replied.
“You've come to the right place, but we don't open until ten.”
“I'm Not here for a delivery. My name is Dr. Jonathan Emerson Winchester the 15th.” He said.
“Oh, you must be our new staff doctor then. You want some coffee? I just made a fresh pot.” Leela said, motioning for him to come in.
“Yes please, thank you. And what’s your name miss?” He said as walked in.
“Leela Fry.” She replied, while taking a drink from her mug, making sure he spotted the gold wedding band on her finger.
“A pleasure to meet you. You said something about coffee?”
“Right this way.” Leela said. They entered the elevator and rode up to the lounge.
When they got there, Leela found an unused mug in the cupboard and pored a cup for the new doctor. After his cup was full, she handed to him.
“Thank you. If you don't mind me asking, is Mr. Fry around?”
“Yes there is, and it's Lieutenant Fry.” Leela replied a bit coldly.
“Oh? I didn't realize your husband was in the DOOP. The records i got stated he was still an employee here.”
“Well, he was drafted only a few days ago. So knowing the Central Bureaucracy, they probably haven't been updated yet.”
“Seems reasonable. Damn bureaucrats.”
“Uh-huh. Tell me, how did you get to be our new doctor? It certainly not because of the paycheck.”
“To tell you the truth, I am actually working here for free, since I'm independently wealthy, I really don't need the money. Anyway, I'm working here as part some community service because of an incident involving Judge Whitey. And so I saw the classified ad in the newspaper and called up that Hermes Conrad, and so here I am.”
“What'd you do the Judge?”
“You remember a few weeks ago when there was that plane crash-landed at Bush Wood Country Club?”
“I remember hearing about that. Some idiot was flying an old propeller-driven airplane and ran out of fuel or something?”
“Well, I was that idiot. “
Leela blushed slightly.
“And the aircraft in question was a classic Lockheed P-38 Lighting. What happened was that as I was coming, I got a fuel pressure warning light, and after looking at the fuel gauge, it still showed that I had at least a half tank left, plenty of gas. So I ignored it. Then about five minutes later, first one then the other engine shut down. I tried restarting them, and nothing happened. I knew I couldn't make it to the airfield, so I started looking around for safe place to put down, without causing too much damage. I knew I was near the country club, and started looking around. I ended up putting down on the 18th hole, and then when I realized I couldn't stop my landing roll, I ended up in Judge Whitey's backyard, and interrupting a party he was having. “
“Oh really? I bet that went over well.” Leela said, with a smile.
“Like a lead balloon. So tell me, Mrs. Fry, how did you end up here?”
“Please, call me Leela.”
“OK, and my friends call me Jon.”
“Well Jon, about nine or so years ago I was stuck in my old job at Applied Cryogenics, as a counselor. I hated the place, but I couldn't quit because it was my assigned career. Then on December 31st, 2999...” Leela went on about how her and Fry meant, his efforts at trying to win her heart, of their many adventures together, and finally how they came to be married.
“Sounds like you and Fry are the perfect couple, you complement one another very well. And there is no doubt in my mind that your husband would do anything in his power to protect you and your daughter.”
“I have no doubt about that either."
They booth stood there for an awkward moment, when Amy appeared in the kitchen.
"Oh hey Leela." Amy said, making a bee line towards the coffee machine. “I don't think I've seen you around here before.” The intern said, looking at Winchester.
“I'm Dr. Winchester. The new staff physician. You must be Amy Wong.”
“Guh, how do you know me?”
“I was at one of your parent's Mars Day barbecues a couple years ago. How come your working at this place?”
“Splugh, I'm the ships engineer. And I'm here because I can't stand my parents.”
“Well anyhow, it's a pleasure to meet Miss Wong.”
“Likewise.”
“So tell me, what’s it like to work here?”
Leela spoke first, an exasperated look on her face. "The company is owned by Professor Farnsworth, a senile crackpot who, when he's not busy frustrating his students at Mars U, spends every day thinking of newer and better ways to destroy the universe. But it's run by Hermes Conrad, his able right-hand man and bureaucrat extraordinaire. You better not set a single paper clip in the wrong place when Hermes is afoot. And woe be unto you if your daily paperwork is illegible."
Amy chimed in. "You're replacing Dr. Zoidberg, a Decapodian who...well...we're not sure if he has a real medical degree. He may have gotten one from a comic book ad or an online university, same thing."
“I see, well it certainly does seem like an interesting place to work.
Like clockwork, Hermes called everyone to conference table at precisely 10 o'clock. Hermes had taken his usual spot, while Dr. Winchester took over Zoidberg's seat and Amy and Leela occupied their regular seats. Hermes pulled his PDA and stood up.
“I'd like you to meet our replacement for dat worthless Zoidberg, Dr. Winchester.”
“We already met Dr. Winchester Hermes.” Leela said
“”Well I don't care, mon. Da regulations state dat at da begging of every meetin' I've got da first announce any new employees. And dis is Dr. Winchester, who actually has a medical degree, from Sacred Heart. We also have a new delivery boy dat's supposed to show up toady. Now where in Babylon is he?”
At that moment, Bender entered the room, with a young woman who was slightly shorter than Leela, flatter-chested , and her hair was cut in a page-boy style. “Hey meat bags. I found this one outside, can we keep it?"
"Frak off, ya junk heap." said the new delivery girl. She turns to Hermes, hands him a soiled, wrinkled paper, and says "Probation officer says I'm supposed to report to you. So I've reported. Now where's the frakkin' coffee?"
“I can just barely read dis. Now what's ya name mon?” Hermes said, while attempting to read the piece of paper.
“Just who the frak are you?”
“Listen here mon, I'm Hermes Conrad, da company's bureaucrat, and I'm in charge of personnel matters. And by reportin' like dat, ya just made me da happiest mon in da universe.” Hermes said with joy, then giving Irana a hug. He then quickly departed the conference heading towards his office to start on his favorite activity – paperwork. Irana looked cursorily at the other occupants of the room, waiting for someone to offer an explanation.
“What was that all about?” She said.
"By doing what you did, he has to do paperwork, and as bureaucrat, he loves paperwork. So you just got us out of this meeting.” Leela said. As they were about to get up, the Professor shuffled in.
“Good news everyone!” Farnsworth said, Amy, Leela, and Bender all sighed collectively at the announcement.
“What do we get a day off?” Bender said, taking a draw on his Zuban cigar.
“Oh my no. You have delivery to make. Oh my yes. That crate down in the hangar contains several thousand chips to be delivered to Nero's Palace in Mars Vegas. Any questions? Good, now off you go.” the Professor said, slowly walking back to his lab.
“You heard the man, Bender. Go load the crate in the ship, while I bring the new delivery girl up to speed. OK?” Leela said, after draining her coffee mug.
“I can. But I won't. Unless I get 20 bucks right now.” Bender said, holding out his hand and making 'give me' motion with his fingers. Leela sighed and gave the robot a twenty.
“Thanks Big Boots.” Bender replied and walked down to load the crate.
In the kitchen. Leela poured a cup of coffee for herself and the new delivery girl-Irana. She was leaning against one of the walls while Leela got her coffee.
“Now listen here Irana, this is a simple straight-forward delivery. You and Bender take the crate around to the loading dock. The casino personnel will take over from there. Got it?” by the way, my names Leela, but when 'were on mission you call me Captain? OK?”
“Sure. Captain.” Irana said sarcastically. She was about to walk away when Leela stopped her.
“I'm serious. No screw-ups. I want to get this delivery done and over with, because I hope to see my husband, whose stationed at Pensacola right now. You understand?”
“Yea sure whatever.” Irana said, and the two exited the kitchen and down to the ship.
Somewhere in the Mars Desert, 0930 Hrs, 18 June 3008
Being woken up at oh-dark-thirty wasn’t anything new to Fry, since when Leia was first born she often woke up at the most ungodly hours. This was different though, he was woken up by a loud voice at the door telling them to get their asses out of bed and get suited up, in full pack, including weapons, which were locked on ‘stun’. Fry did take a couple of extra items though, the old Colt .45 that belonged to his dad and a two spare clips. After reporting to the parade ground, they were told that they would be going on a march.
After a few hours of marching, Fry had started falling back in the line, and was now bringing up the rear. He was just now showing signs that he was getting tired. The sun was starting to get to him, he slumping under the weight of the pack, and was really thirsty. Man this is like the time I went to Trisol. In the distance were the glistening lights of Mars Vegas, again stirring thoughts of Leela when they went there for their two-year anniversary. Suddenly, he heard a roar overhead and looked up and saw the outline of a familiar green space ship. That can’t be! I must be seeing things. With his attention focused on the green ship, he tripped over a rock and fell down. A mean-looking petty officer came up to him.
“CADET FRY! GET YOUR ASS UP AND GET BACK IN THE LINE!” he shouted.
“Yes sir.” Fry said meekly, and slowly started to get up.
“What was so interesting that got your attention?”
“I thought I saw my wife’s spaceship.” Fry said, dusting the dirt off his fatigues. The petty officer looked at him, confused.
“Uh-huh sure, now get back in that line before I start kicking your ass! Now move!”
Fry hurried up and reached the tail end of the line and resumed pace.
Meanwhile, once Leela landed the ship at the Mars Vegas Spaceport she went down to the cargo to see how Bender and Irana were coming with the crate. Once she arrived, she saw that nothing had been done. The crate full of chips was sitting where they had loaded it and the hover dolly hadn’t been moved. Bender and Irana were sitting on opposite sides of a overturned wood crate both smoking cigars and playing cards. They didn’t notice her enter.
“We’re on the planet guys.” Leela said.
“Yea, and what do you want me to do?” Irana replied
“You’re supposed to be loading that crate on to that hover dolly.”
“Frak off One-Eye, I’m a little busy here.”
Leela’s blood pressure went up a couple of notches, and her eye began to twitch slightly.
“You get your ass up and get that crate loaded before I decide to inflict pain.”
“I’d suggest you do what Big Boots says, if you don’t want to end up in a hospital.” Bender said.
“She doesn’t scare me. Let’s finish this card game first.” Irana said, Leela picked up on that and stomped over to the card game and grabbed Irana by her shirt color and yanked her out of her seat. Bender’s threat detection software indicated to him that now would be a good time to cheese it.
“Uh I’ll just go over here for a little bit while you two work out your issues.” Bender said and slowly made his way over to the exit.
“Listen her missy, I have a black belt in Arcturan Kung Fu and will use it if I have to got it?” Leela said. Irana nodded in response.
“Now get that crate loaded onto the hover dolly and do it now!”
“Yes captain!”
Leela let Irana go as she scrambled to get to the crate and get it loaded. Leela ventured out of the cargo bay and to her cabin for some much needed rest.
In her cabin Leela first picked up the latest copy of Extreme Animal Adventures Weekly off the dresser and walked over to the bed, stopping to turn on the radio Fry had got her for her birthday last year. She laid down and began to read.
"This is The Universe Today with Walter Cronkite. Today the leaders of the Na'kuhl and the Terran Empire met today in Muscovite capital city Muscberg with Muscovite leader Castvez Putler. The four leaders signed an alliance agreement with the Muscovites, immediately after the signing, the Na'kuhl and Terranian have declared war against the DOOP. This alliance will henceforth be referred to as the Axis. Axis forces have moved towards the Gaul system, massing its forces near the Maginot Asteroid Field. The DOOP Navy have sent the 3rd Fleet to meet the enemy. Fleet Admiral Zapp Brannigan is leading 3rd Fleet. Adm. Brannigan announced that 'The enemy will not break this barrier. If necessary, I will send wave after wave of my men at them.' Adm. Brannigan was the former captain of the Nimbus. In other news the...."
Leela turned off the radio since she didn't really want to listen to any more depressing news. Well looks like the DOOP is going to get run over with him. I hope Fry doesn't end up in Zapp's command.
While Leela was in her cabin resting, Bender and Irana had loaded the crate and were now heading down the Mars Vegas Strip, Irana pushing the hover-dolly.
“So meat bag what’d you do to end up here?” Bender asked
“I don’t want to talk about it.” Irana answered
“Aw come on, it can’t be that bad.”
Irana sighed then spoke. “Well if you have to know, I got in a fight with a DOOP officer. Satisfied?”
“Hell no. Who was it?”
“Zapp Brannigan. OK?”
“Oh, this is good, tell more!”
Irana sighed again. “Well a few months ago Brannigan and a few of his cronies showed up at a bar I used to work at. As soon as they entered all of them started making comments at me, and as the evening went on and they got drunker a few of them tried groping me, and I was fed up with it. When Brannigan slapped me on my ass, I lost it and beat him to a pulp. And that’s it. happy?”
“Well I guess you and One-Eye have something in common.”
“What?”
“You both hate Zapp Brannigan.”
“Uh-huh. Oh gee look we’re here.”
They stopped walking and realized that they were in front of Nero’s Palace, which looked like Caesar’s Palace.
“You go see where we’re supposed to put this, while I keep an eye on it.” Irana said,
“I guess I could. I’ll be back.”
Bender then walked up to the entrance and talked to one of the bouncers. He came back shortly afterword.
“They said to go around back.”
Irana then followed Bender around the corner of the building and down a side street, which ended in a loading dock area. Armed security guards were patrolling the area backed up by cameras. One of them approached the two.
“This is a restricted area please leave.” He said.
“Uh we’re from Planet Express, we’re here to deliver these new chips.”
The guard looked at them with suspicion as he checked a tablet device.
“OK, I’ll sign for it, we’ll take care of it from here.”
Irana handed him a clipboard, which he signed and then they parted ways.
“Well that’s done. How about we go hit the casino?” Bender said
“Don’t we need some chips?”
“Let’s just say I recently acquired some, and I’ll let you have a portion of them for a small fee.” Bender said smugly
“How much?”
“Fifty bucks.”
Irana reached into her pocket and pulled a wad of cash and handed Bender a fifty, which he gladly took and then gave Irana a handful of chips out his chest compartment.
“Now let’s go have some fun!” Bender said, and the two walked into the casino.
Leela was sleeping when the sound of police sirens woke her. I wonder what that could possibly be? And where are Bender and Irana? They should’ve been back by now. She got out of bed and walked over to the intercom and pressed the button.
“Amy are Bender and Irana back yet?”
“Uh, no I haven’t seen them. Why?”
“Just checking, I’m going out to look for them, you stay here OK?”
“OK Leela.”
About a half hour or so later, Leela had found out the source of the sirens. There were about twenty police hover cars parked out front with about double that number of officers.
Oh lord, please don't let this be Bender's doing.
As she approached the 'do not cross' line and ducked under it, one of the officers approached her. He was tall bearded man, his name tag read 'Riker'.
"Ma'am this is a restricted area, I must aks you to leave."He said
"I have two of members of my crew in there, and I would like to get them back as soon as possible."
"If you give me names, we'll notify you when the hostages are released. We are handling the situation."
"What is the situation?"
"A group of Talorian terrorists attacked the casino in an attempt to rob the vault. They have taken hostages are holed up in one of the restaurants. That's all we have right now, so please leave the area ma'am."
"Thank you." Leela managed to say, without losing her temper, and walked off away from the scene, thinking of a way to get into the casino, thinking of a way to get into the building, when she saw two familiar New, New York officers, one robot the other human. They were standing guard outside one f the side entrances of the building. Hmm, getting inside will be easier than thought.
She continued to walk past them, heading back towards the ship to get some weapons and a proper disguise.
About thirty minutes later, Leela was back by the entrance where officers Smitty and URL were stationed. Now she was wearing an outfit similar to the disguise she wore when they went to the robot planet, except that it was painted blue. She also grabbed a couple of phase pistols. She approached the two officers.
"Hey baby, this here is a restricted area." URL said
"I was sent to scope out the area." Leela replied
"What's your IP address baby?"
"127.0.0.1"
URL then started to shake violently and smoke started coming out around his head.
“Hey what’d you do to my partner?” Smitty said.
“Uh, it looks like a short circuit. It wasn’t my fault. His software must be outdated. “
“Well I’m going to take him to maintenance; I’ll deal with you later.” Smitty said, giving Leela a nasty look as he walked away.
Leela took this opportunity to sneak inside in the building. Once through the door she ditched the costume in the nearest trash can. She then carefully made her way down the short hallway when she then heard what sounded like laser fire coming from somewhere in the casino. With her phase pistol drawn she proceeded toward the source of the sound.
After wandering through the endless maze of halls, the sounds were starting to get louder. She turned a corner and found herself looking at the once was the gaming floor, but now was a battlefield. Debris littered the entire floor, Leela saw there were DOOP soldiers who were advancing from the lobby area to her right, while the terrorist held their position on the floor. A stray laser blast passed too close to her for comfort and she dove behind an overturned table, and was now back to back with one of the DOOP soldiers.
“What’s the situation?” Leela said, laser fire continued to pass over them.
“Well they’ve got hostages, and are heavily armed.”
“I kinda figured that out already.”
“How’d you know that?”
“Well for starters they were shooting at me, your new at this aren’t you?”
A few more blasts continued over the table, impacting on the concrete blocks behind them.
“Kind of, I’ve had similar situation back where I used to work.”
A few more blasts skimmed across the top, Leela popped up to return fire.
“Where was that?”
“My nephew’s delivery company, Planet Express. We would often go on these deliveries and something would go wrong me and Bender would have to run for our lives, but if it wasn’t for Leela, I’d be decomposing on some unknown planet.”
A laser blast skimmed over the table just above Leela's head. She thrust her pistol up, returned a quick series of shots, and dropped back down. "Fry, is that you?" she asked as a hail of energy bolts screamed over head.
“Leela?”
She spun around, eye wide open in disbelief. "FRY!"
Fry too looked at his wife, eyes wide, looking like he had seen a ghost.
"L..Leela?" he stuttered.
Time seemed to slow down as the couple looked at each other, after a minute Leela pulled Fry into a deep and passionate kiss. The kiss lasted for a good couple of minutes, both of them completely oblivious to the chaos that was around them. Finally Leela pushed Fry away and they looked at each other.
"So why are you here?" They said nearly simultaneously. Leela took the initiative.
"Well we had to deliver some casino chips here, and when Bender and the new delivery girl didn't come back, I figured they were in here."
"Wait a minute, Hermes hired a girl to replace me? That didn't take long.”
More laser blasts continued over head. Fry popped and fired off a few quick shots before ducking behind the table again.
“How about I fill you in later?”
“Good idea.”
The battle continued on for another twenty minutes, with the DOOP forces taking down the terrorists one by one. Not one surrendered. Once the place was clear, the hostages were led out by the soldiers. Fry and Leela watched as the line of hostages passed by them, hoping to see Bender and Irana, but Leela failed to notice the robot in the group.
'Did you see Bender at all Fry?”
“Uh no I didn't see him. Why?”
“I was hoping that he would be in there, come on let's go find them.”
“So can I get some more of that?” Fry said, while following his wife down the hall. Leela stopped and turned to face her husband, who was displaying his trademark grin.
“Oh Fry, it’s just that I missed you so much, come here you sweet goof bag.” Leela said, and pounced on him, pushing him to the ground and began to smother him with kisses.
"Cadet! What the hell do you think you're doing? You aren't on leave here!"
Fry practically jumped out of his skin as he shot to attention, knocking Leela backwards on her butt. "Sir, Yes, sir! I mean no sir, uh... I mean, sir, this is my wife sir. Leela. This is Leela. Leela this is Petty Officer Jones. Sir."
"Please to meet you ma'am." Petty Officer Jones said, tipping his hat. Turning back to Fry, his voice got louder and more authoritative. "Now private, get your ass outside and get back in formation. The civilian authorities are taking over here and we have a march to finish. Move it!"
"Yes Sir!" Fry said, saluting. Casting a quick, pained glance at Leela, Fry scurried towards the door.
"Have a good day, ma'am." Petty Officer Jones said to Leela, tipping his hat again as he turned to leave.
As Petty Officer Jones led Fry down the hall, Leela let out a sad sigh and resumed her search for Bender and Irana.
Leela then continued down the hall to where Bender and Irana were. After a short walk, she came to a door labeled ‘Storage B’. The door swooshed opened, revealing Bender and Irana sitting against the back wall of the room, the later being passed out and snoring. The room was littered with empty beer bottles, and other alcoholic beverages of different kinds.
“Bender what’s the hell happened?” Leela said, a tad angry.
“Oh hey Big Boots. Well you see when the shooting started, we decided to cheese it, and wound up in this place, to protect the booze.”
“Uh huh, now get your shiny metal ass up and get back to the ship, before I decide to put a dent in it so big that it’ll take at least a month to buffer out.” Leela said
“Sure thing Big Boots.” Bender said, after contemplating that it would be better to do what his captain said than spend a month buffering his ass.
21 June 3008, DSS Nimbus (BP-1729), Gaul System, near Maginot Asteroid Field
Admiral Zapp Brannigan, commodore of Task Force 54, which had the duty of protecting the Gaul System from invasion, was seated in his captain’s chair aboard his flagship the Nimbus. He was in the middle of putting the finishing touches on a ham and cheese sandwich.
“Kif, where is the Grey Poupon?”
“I don’t know sir. We have a communication from the Ward.”
"Well quit nattering about fleet comms and get over here and find it."
“Have you checked the fridge?”
"It wasn't that, I just wasn't in the .... oh! You mean the refrigerator. Of course I have, and that's why you'll never make Captain."
“Actually sir, I did.”
"Never mind that now Kif. Without my Grey Pupon, this sandwich is only set to stun, not kill."
"*sigh* Yes sir. And then perhaps you'll take a look at this report from the Ward."
"What oh sure, now just find that Grey Pupon!"
"It's right here sir. On the top shelf, right in the middle, in front."
"Well bring it here then, this sandwich won't put Grey Poupon on itself!"
Kif brought the Grey Poupon over to Brannigan, which Zapp took and poured a leisurely amount on his sandwich.
“Now what’s this Ward thing you keep mentioning to me?” Zapp said with his mouth full.
“The Ward reported picking up a contact that matched the signature of and Kaga-class recon ship. They reported firing several torpedoes and think they got a hit.”
“Uh-huh, anything more Kif?” Zapp said, taking a bite of his sandwich.
“Sir, with this information, I suggest we start preparing for an all-out attack on our forces.”
“Kif, I've just been struck by a thought! This would be great with some smoky gouda cheese on it. Fetch me some, there's a good captain.” Zapp said, patting Kif’s head. Kif sighed and went to fulfill Zapp’s request. A short while later Kif returned with the cheese Zapp had requested.
“Here’s your gouda cheese sir.” Kif said, handing the package to Zapp.
“Ah yes thanks Kif, now go do something useful for once.”
At that moment, the ship shook violently and Zapp was knocked out of his seat, getting the insides of the sandwich he was eating on his uniform.
"Kif, prepare my escape pod! And bring me a fresh uniform, I seemed to have got Grey Poupon on this one!"
There was another violent shake as another weapon impacted. Alarms started blaring, and red lights began to flash.
"Sir, shouldn't you be worrying about the attack?"
“Let the men deal with it. I’m sure they can handle it.”
Crewman were shouting different damage reports, and at the same time calling out multiple enemy contacts, all the while Zapp ignored these.
“Good idea sir, why don’t you go to your cabin and I’ll bring you a new uniform after this over?”
“Excellent idea Kif, I might go take a nap too. You’re in charge, Captain.”
As Zapp walked off the bridge, Kif assumed command, and placed himself in the captain’s chair.
“Ensign Gable give me a status report?” Kif said.
“Shields are down to ten percent, engineering reports that the reactors are fine, and undamaged. On board fighters have been launched and are supporting the fleet.”
“What’s the status of the fleet?”
“Sir, we’ve lost two cruisers, a number of our fighters, a destroyer and we’ve lost a number of drones as well.”
“Very well, I have no choice but in order to preserve the fleet, we must retreat and regroup.” Kif said, a hint of sorrow in his voice.”
Ensign Gable nodded and began to issue the orders to recall all fighters and notify the other captains.
