I Think There's A Misunderstanding Here ...
By Purplefish
Disclaimers : Futurama and all the
characters related are a creation of Matt Groening and David X.
Cohen. This text is purely fan material, and has absolutely no
commercial purposes.
Before we start : And after such a long
fanfic (“Grudge, passion, and test tubes”, anyone who
didn’t read it yet, please take a look [marketing mode off]),
let’s have a small break with a one-shot !
- There ! That should do it !
Leela stepped back a little and smiled, satisfied
by her work. They had so much work lately, that she even couldn’t
find 5 small minutes for cleaning her locker. As it was a lazy day,
she decided to remedy to this. She had one set of clothes ready,
carefully folded up. The books she was planning to read were set in
alphabetical order, from ‘the art of compensating faulty depth
perception’ to ‘zebra platypus : nature’s greatest
mystery.’ The rest of her belongings were arranged perfectly,
the biggest and heaviest on the lowest shelves, the smallest on the
highest. Everything was in its right place, and the whole thing was
looking impeccable.
- Let me have a look…
Leela moved back so that Fry would inspect the inside of her locker.
The young man whistled with admiration, looking impressed.
- That sure is tidy ! Said Fry.
- Thanks. But don’t touch anything for the moment, I’ve
just sprayed some antibacterial solution in it, that would eat your
finger out.
- Uh ?!? (Fry stepped back, looking a bit
anxious.) Wow, you really take this seriously !
- Planning the little things is a good way for
learning to deal with more important matters. You should try to make
some order in your locker too.
- Yeah, I know it needs some improvement, but
that’s not as bad as what you’re saying.
Leela’s eye narrowed. She obviously wasn’t thinking the
same thing.
- Fry, the last time I was with you when you
opened your locker, I got attacked by a swarm of man-eating flies…
- Hey, I couldn’t know those worms would mutate !
- … And for your matter, worms do not belong in lockers…
- It’s not my fault if that meatloaf got
rotten !
- … And neither does meat.
Fry waved his hand, dismissing Leela’s
arguments as if they weren’t important at all.
- Bah, that’s not the real problem. It just needs a little
decoration.
- Or you can use a flamethrower for sterilizing it.
- I tried to do that, but strangely, nobody wanted to let me borrow
one. Even the professor didn’t let me take his blowtorch.
Something about mixing me and fire not being a great idea…
- So you want to decorate it, right ? With what ?
- I’ve got some secret weapon… This
!!!
Fry suddenly raised his hand, showing to Leela what he was holding.
It was a small picture representing a cute little pink spider-eyed
kitten, holding on a tree branch. There was a little text on that
picture that was saying ‘hang in there baby !’
Saying that Leela wasn’t really convinced
was a euphemism.
- Some lame-ass motivational poster ? Yeah, that
sure will make people forget about the mold…
- Exactly ! As soon as I would have stuck it
inside, it will be as good as new !
Fry pulled something out of his jacket’s
pocket. And as Leela recognized what it was, she immediately started
to worry. It was a can of ‘Glue-ltra X-pert’, a label
that was only used by professionals in order to seal off any gap on a
spaceship hull or on a nuclear reactor. The most worrying fact was
that Fry bought it in its spray form.
- You can’t be serious, Fry… Don’t go play with
this ! Can’t you use duct tape, like anybody else ?!?
- Can’t find any here. But don’t
worry, Leela ! I didn’t remove the security, so nothing will
happen until…
And then the disaster occurred.
As he was gesticulating, carefree, Fry
accidentally touched the can’s valve… And immediately,
it threw a spray of glue on Leela’s direction. The young woman
instinctively jumped back, but she couldn’t prevent the bottom
of her tanktop and the top of her trousers to be soaked. As she
looked at her clothes, she immediately saw that they were stained, as
the glue let a big pink spot on them. Filled with anger, she looked
at Fry, who was frozen still, looking dumb. That obviously was
something he wasn’t expecting.
- Woops…
- Woops ?!? Look at that ! I’ll never be able to wash this !
- I’m very sorry, Leela… I was sure I…
- You’re lucky I have some spare clothes in
here ! Point that thing in another direction, and give me a break for
a second !
Leela angrily turned round and took some clean
clothes from her locker. She grabbed the bottom of her tanktop and
began to lift it… When she remembered something. She looked at
Fry. The young man was now examining the can, but she still had
something to ask him.
- Fry ?
- Yeah ? Said the young man, transferring his
attention back to her.
- Could you turn around ?
- Why ?
She didn’t say a thing, but her look was pretty well indicating
she didn’t think she would have to explain why. During some
awkward seconds, the two stood silent and still, until Fry finally
got what she was talking about.
- Oh.
He finally turned around. Leela breathed deeply as
she was trying to calm down, and got back at changing her clothes.
Fry could hear Leela taking off her clothes, but for now, the only
thing that was monopolizing all his attention was the can. He
suspiciously looked at it, trying to see what he could have done
wrong.
- I don’t get it… I didn’t
touch that security… I mean, according to what they’ve
written here, I just have to touch that thing and then…
And then the second disaster occurred.
Some pressured glue brutally squirted off the can,
but this time, it spread on Fry’s face. The young man had in
the latest moment closed his eyes, but that didn’t prevent him
from suddenly feel the glue hit his face, and the slight burning
caused by the chemicals composing the glue. As he screamed of
surprise, he turned to ask for help. At this moment, Leela still
hadn’t put her new clothes on, she was in her underwear. But as
she heard Fry scream, she immediately turned to face him. The young
man tried to walk in her direction, but confused by his sudden
blindness, he stumbled against a bucket which was on the ground and
fell on Leela. The young woman couldn’t do anything to
stabilize them and accompanied Fry in his fall.
As soon as they were lying on the ground, Leela immediately took a
second look at the situation. She realized it was even worse than
what she thought. Fry managed to have his face stuck on her skin…
More precisely, the top of his face was stuck between her breasts.
That made her madder than before.
- And of course, you had to fall THERE !
- I didn’t want this, Leela, I swear ! It’s
an accident !
- Yeah, well, that doesn’t change a thing !
Get out of there now !
Leela grabbed Fry’s head and tried to repulse him… But
she immediately stopped her efforts, as she had the sensation that
she was about to get skinned. Fry’s shrieked of pain as well,
as he felt it was doing nothing else but tearing his face off…
Fortunately, it wasn’t the case yet, but that was still
painful.
- Leela ! Leela, stop ! That hurts ! And I still need my face !
- What am I supposed to say ?!? That’s useless ! We’re
completely stuck together !
- Well, in other circumstances, I would love
staying like this for hours, but right now, that glue is FREAKIN’
BURNING MY SKIN !!!! DO SOMETHING PLEASE !!!
- There’s still a chance, I think… Did they give you
some small tube with that glue ?
- Yeah, why ?
- That’s a dissolvent ! They always give some with each can, in
case some accidents happened with this glue !
- Tell me about an accident !
- Fry, you’re the only one to be blamed here
! Where did you put this dissolvent ?
- In one of the back pockets of my jean… Can’t remember
which one, however…
- What are you waiting for ? Take it !
- I can’t ! Some of the glue had ran on my
hands, and now, they’re stuck to the ground as well !
Leela sighed. At least, that was explaining why he didn’t try
to stand up already. But that was still indicating that she had to do
everything by herself. Just as usual. She posed her hands on Fry’s
backside, trying to locate his back pockets.
- Did you really have to put it there ?
- Hey, I couldn’t know we would need it that soon !
- Stay calm, Fry ! It’s already difficult
enough without you moving your butt like a stripper ! Mmmmmh…
That’s it ! I can feel them ! Now, let’s…
KLING !
Leela froze. She didn’t know yet what was that noise, but that
couldn’t be good news. Wringing her neck, she managed to give a
look backward, to the entrance of the room.
Bender was standing on the threshold, looking
shocked. He was staring at Fry and Leela, his ocular sensors wide
opened. The surprise made him drop his bottle of beer, which smashed
on the floor and produced the noise that caught Leela’s
attention.
The young woman quickly summed up all the elements. She was lying on
the ground, wearing nothing but her panties and her bra. Fry was on
top of her, his face hidden between her breasts. And at this moment,
she was grabbing his buttocks.
Something was telling her that it was going to be
very difficult to explain the situation…
- What’s happening ? Said Fry, worried. I can’t see a
damn thing !
- No kidding… Said Bender, still sporting the same expression.
- Er… Listen, Bender… Started Leela. That’s not
what it…
- No no no no no ! (Said Bender, who was now
waving his hands and shaking his head in order to express his refusal
to hear anything. He carefully got around the couple in order to
reach his locker.) No explanations ! Just wait until I take my cigars
and leave this room before getting back to what you were doing !
Bender opened his locker and grabbed a box of fine Zuban cigars which
was in it. He quickly put it in his chest cavity, closed the locker,
and then headed to the exit. Fry finally realized what was going on,
and decided he would try to tell his friend the truth.
- Bender, look, you’re getting it wrong ! We’re…
- That’s OK, Fry, That’s OK ! I know
what kind of needs you meatbags have sometimes ! But next time, for
God’s sake, close the door !
Bender rushed to get out of the room. During some very, very long
seconds, Fry and Leela stood silent, trying to overcome their shame.
Leela then took the initiative.
- Let’s end this before someone else comes in…
- Yeah. And quick. Or else, I’ll end up with
freckles. And not cute ones.
When he finally was out of the lockers’ room, Bender got his
way to the lounge, still looking embarrassed. But suddenly, he began
to snicker. On the base of his neck, a small trap opened, and a data
stick got out of it. Bender took and looked it, a mischievous spark
in his optical sensors.
- I wonder how much I would get for this on
nastyvideos.com ?
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