The High South
By Rush
Scene: Port. The bass hangs from a giant set of scales. Mayor Poopenmeyer, photographers and other people are crowded around Bender.
Poopenmeyer: 'And so, in honour of his record-breaking catch, I'm proud to award Bender this cheque for $1000.
[He shakes Bender's hand and photographers take photos. The crowd cheers. The bass spits out Fry followed by Hermes' Manwich.]
Leela: 'It's you!
Bender: 'Hey, buddy!
Hermes: [picking up his Manwich.] 'My Manwich! [He takes a bite out of it]
Leela: 'Fry, are you alright? What happened?
Amy: What about Umbriel?
Fry: 'Well, um ...
Leela: 'What?
Fry: 'She didn't have the human lady part.
Amy: 'Oh, I was thinking of another reason?
Fry: 'What?
Amy: 'Well, I was thinking you wouldn’t get "excited" from seeing you in the showers, and seeing how small your--
[Leela elbows her.]
Amy: 'Ow!
Leela: 'How small your hair horn is!
Fry: 'Oh, maybe I should let grow longer then?
Leela: 'Well, I think it's fine, size doesn't matter.
Bender: [pushing past Amy] 'Ah, it's great to have you back, buddy.
[He puts his arms around Fry. Poopenmeyer looks at the scales.]
Poopenmeyer: 'Wait a-- This is no record! Gimme back that cheque! I'm giving it to some giant orphans.
[He snatches the cheque from Bender. Fry starts struggling.]
Fry: 'Ow! Bender, you're hurting me. Ow!
[He chokes. The bass' gills open. Zoidberg is inside.]
Zoidberg: 'Hey! I'm trying to sleep in here!
Leela: 'Ok, Bender. That's enough. [Bender continues.] Alright, you asked for it! [Leela presses his off switch from behind his back, and he falls over onto the ground. She then presses it again, Bender stands back up.]
Bender: 'Hey, that's not nice!
Leela: 'What would you know about being nice?
Bender: 'Well I-- shut up!
The End.
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