Honey, I Shrunk the Lobster By Newhook_1
Opening
Caption: "Ebert and Roper's heads give it two tongues up!
Fry and Bender are on the couch watching T.V.; Leela and Amy are sitting
at the table playing that horrible futuristic 3-D scrabble. Farnsworth enters
the room pushing a hover cart with a crate on it.
Farnsworth:
Good news everyone! Today you'll be making a delivery to Keenevil 7,
The dare-devil planet.
Leela
walks over
Leela:
What are we delivering?
Professor:
It's a shrinking ray, the Keenevil 7 government wants it to shrink
the giant bears that live there.
Fry
(eyeing crate): So how does it work?
Farnsworth: It's quite simple. When the shrink ray shrinks something it, compresses
it's molecules so they are closer and more compacted together, much like a trash
compacter. However, this creates a huge amount of excess energy and electrical
discharge, so I've hooked the output up to a storage battery which can be used
to make cheap energy for the people of Keenevil 7. Alternatively, the excess energy
can make this (holds up miniature parasol) miniature parasol open and close.
Bender:
Why would you make it do that?
Farnsworth:
The same reason every scientist does everything, to be featured in a
geeky technology centered magazine.
Farnsworth holds up a magazine called "3000", with a picture of
him grinning and holding up the parasol on the cover. The cover also includes
a caption which says, "Move over miniature ice scraper!"
Fry:
So about this planet, why don't they just kill the bears?
Professor: Because, you stupid fool! The bears are used to make the leather
in their stunt jackets; they just want to be able to make them in children's sizes.
Leela:
So even the children there do stunts?
Professor:
Oh my yes, people get injured there all the time. Why the hospitals
are never empty.
Bender
(looks over): What!?! Injured flesh wads!?
Bender
jumps up
Bender:
Come on people, this delivery won't make its self!
Bender
lifts up the crate and heads toward the ship. Zoidberg enters the
room.
Zoidberg:
A planet full of other medical doctor types such as myself? Can I
come maybe?
Leela:
Well OK, just don't let me catch you near the shrink ray or I'll
start locking my dumpster again.
Fry,
Leela and Zoidberg head for ship
Cut
to Bender laying down crate and heading off to he and Fry's room.
Fry, Leela and Zoidberg enter the ship. Fry puts a lunch can down
next to the shrink ray and Zoidberg notices it out of the corner of
his eye. Leela starts the ship and takes off while Fry heads to he
and Bender's room, where Bender is in the top bunk.
Fry:
Hey that's my bunk!
Bender:
What difference does it make Meat-bag?!?
Fry
shrugs, and lies down on the bunk under Bender. A creak is heard, the
top bunk collapses, and Bender falls on the floor.
---------Later On---------
Shot
of Leela in her bed (in a revealing night gown for you Leela fans).
In the Bender-Fry room Bender is on the bottom bunk, and Fry is on
the floor.We see a shot of the crate containing the shrink ray with
Fry's lunch box next to it. Zoidberg's shadow looms over the lunch
box. He walks on screen an picks up the lunch box.
Zoidberg:
Happy Birthday Dr. Zoidberg!
He
opens the box and leans up against the crate tipping it over, and
activating the ray.
Zoidberg:
(unspellable Zoidberg Yell)
The
zaps Zoidberg and shrinks him
Zoidberg:
Oh no! What have I done?!? Professor will slap me!
Zoidberg
looks at how big the food is compared to him
Zoidberg
(throwing up arms/claws): Hooray!
---------Insert standard Futurama change of scene music here---------
Leela,
Bender and Fry walk into cargo hold
Leela:
Well we're ready to head out, but where's Zoidberg, and why is the
crate tipped over?
Bender
takes a puff of a cigar
Bender: Eh, he's probably in a better place
Cut
to Zoidberg stuck on a glue mouse trap
Zoidberg:
ohhhh, what would Zombie Jesus do?
Cut
back to Leela, Bender and Fry
Bender:
Who cares any way? Let's just deliver the ray so we can see some
motorcycle crashes!
They
load the crate onto a hover cart, and push it down the ramp. A world
full of rocks shaped like ramps, gigantic canyons, and trees with
prickers in them unfolds before them. A motorcycle with a guy who is
dressed like Super Dave Osborne, and looks just like a human except
he is green and has devil horns crashes in front of them from the
sky.
Fry
and Bender (high fiving each other): Yes!
Leela
stoops down to talk to the fellow
Leela:
Can you tell us where the government office is?
He
raises an arm that looks to be broken is several places and points to
the east.
The
Crew heads in that direction until they come to a gigantic parliament
house with Dare-devils Bun-gee Jumping off each side of the roof. The
walk up to the man guarding the front door who is on fire and just
standing there.
Leela:
Uh, delivery for your governor
Guard
(opening door): Right this way my friends.
They
walk through a hallway with pictures of Dare-devils performing
various stunts on the walls.
Leela:
So, why do your people do all these things?
Guard:
Well, it's because our blood is made up of 40% of what you earthlings
call adrenaline, so we really can't help ourselves.
Fry:
So, why aren't you guys ever in the Olympics?
Guard:
Last time we entered the death toll was catastrophic, so we where
banned. A high jumper tried to do the jump on his motorcycle and
landed in the audience.
Fry:
Oh.
They
enter the throne room through an enormous arch-way. Leela pushes the
hover cart up the the governor, who opens the crate with a crowbar.
After the the crate is opened Leela notices something.
Leela
(Pointing at shrink ray): Hey the power gauge says that the
battery is full.
Bender
(raising finger): Uh yeah, I had to sneak a few... (shifts
eyes) .. things too big to fit into my body cavity onto the
planet.
Leela:
Well I guess that explains it. I was just worried that it might have
something to do with Zoidberg's absence, but I guess I was wrong.
Cut
to Zoidberg who has now escaped the mousetrap and is in the kitchen.
Zoidberg:
Perhaps if I heat myself, I will expand.
Zoidberg
climbs up onto the stove and turns it on, his lab coat catches on
fire and he runs around in circles making those "Whoop
whoop" noises.
---------Insert standard Futurama change of scene music here---------
The
crew is walking back onto the ship
Fry:
Wow I've never seen a governor catch a bullet in his teeth before!
Leela:
Well I guess we're ready to take off. Has anyone seen Zoidberg?
Bender
pushes the button to close the door.
Leela:
Hey! What if Zoidberg isn't on the ship?
Bender:
He would have wanted it this way.
They
all head to the control room where Leela starts the ship and takes
off.
---------Insert standard Futurama change of scene music here---------
Zoidberg
is still nowhere to be found, and the others have explained the
situation to Professor Farnsworth, he has just finished listening to
the situation.
Farnsworth:
Tch Tch Tch. Luckily I have already made and invention perfect for
this situation.
Farnsworth
opens a desk drawer and takes out "The Zoid-Seeker".
Farnsworth walks onto the ship and the device begins beeping he hones
in on Zoidberg who they find Jumping up and down in front of the
toilet.
Zoidberg:
Little help?
Farnsworth: My god! He must have used the shrink ray on himself.
Bender:
(Laughs Evilly)
Leela:
So how do we fix him?
Farnsworth: Well I can try to reverse the properties of the shrink ray but
that could take months
Zoidberg:
What do I do until then.
Bender:
I know
Bender
picks up Zoidberg, and and drops him in a goldfish bowl which he
takes out of his chest cavity.
Bender
(narrows eyes while looking at Zoidberg): He he he he, we'll
have so much fun!
Leela: Couldn't we just clone a regular sized Zoidberg, with the same memories
from this one's DNA?
Farnsworth:
That just might work.
Fry
(Pointing at the shrunken Zoidberg): But what will we do with this
one?
Farnsworth
(Angry): What do I look like? The sanitation commission? Do
what ever the Hell you want with him, flush him down the toilet for
all I care!
---------Insert standard Futurama change of scene music here---------
The
entire PE is in Farnsworth's lab with a nervous looking Zoidberg on
a table next to the cloning machine. Farnsworth is about to stick in
the needle when Zoidberg's shell cracks open and a slightly larger
Zoidberg climbs out.
Zoidberg:
I'm molting! Oh, that takes me back
Farnsworth:
Amazing it seems that with his smaller size Zoidberg's DNA has kicked
in and he's growing larger. Now I won't have to defile my cloning vat
with a filthy invertebrate.
Cut
to Hermes, who was standing off to the side wearing a bib with a
picture of a lobster on it, and was holding a pair of shell crackers.
He hangs his head and looks disappointed.
---------Several weeks later---------
Everyone except Zoidberg is watching TV. Zoidberg walks into the room.
Zoidberg:
Look everyone I'm back to my normal size
Bender
Throws a beer bottle and just misses Zoidberg's head
Bender:
Shaddup!
Zoidberg
(a tear of happiness runs down his face): Ah, just like old
times.
The
credits are followed by a picture montage of Zoidberg when he is
"growing up".
Picture
#1 Hermes has chef hat and apron on, and is holding Zoidberg over a
boiling pot of water.
Picture
#2 Scruffy is carrying out the trash and Zoidberg's head is looking
out from the top of the bucket.
Picture #3 Zoidberg is sitting at a table made for children drinking tea
with five shells that he has molted from duct taped to together and put in the
other chairs.
---------END--------- |