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Futurama
So Easy A Zoidberg Could Do It!
Screen: A Garfield Cartoon
Scene 1:
Fry, Bender, and Leela are in Arizona.
It's nighttime in the desert area where they are. Fry is wearing a
white and black striped t-shirt, green cargo shorts, and blue
ankle-high boots. Bender and Leela are planting cactuses while Fry
stands by.
Fry: (shivering): Brrrrr! I thought
Arizona would be hotter than this! Why is it so cold here at night?
In the summer, too!
Leela: Arizona has no humidity like in
New New York.
Bender: Should've thought about that
before you decided to wear that outfit! It looks like it's falling
off you! You're swimming in it!
Fry: Hey! For your information, I got
this outfit at a flea market! This shirt used to be worn by an inmate
in a Florida prison!
Bender: Says the guy with no bump in
his rump! (laughs) And I thought fat jokes were fun!
Leela: Enough of the skinny jokes at
Fry's expense. Fry can't help being overly scrawny, okay?
Leela and Bender got done planting
cactuses.
Leela: There. Another Planet Express
mission accomplished.
Bender: (taking out a beer): This calls
for a celebration!
Bender was about to take a sip of his
beer when out of nowhere, a girl on a flying hoverbike hits him.
Bender: Ouch!
Fry and Leela: Bender!
Fry: Bender, old buddy! Say a few
syllables!
Leela: Oh, he's fine.
Bender: (getting up): Fine enough to
track down that punk who hit me! (runs off)
Fry: Should we go after him?
Leela: I got my tracking device
recently installed in my wristband. (sighs) Let's go.
Moments later, Fry and Leela came to a
house. On the stoop of the house sat two teen girls looking
miserable. Their names were Randa and Tarisa. Randa had short blue
hair, a green beanie hat, A black sweatshirt, and a green skirt.
Tarisa had long green hair, a blue beanie hat, a black sweatshirt,
and a blue skirt. Both wore black platform sneakers.
Leela: Excuse me, girls. Did you see a
robot come this way?
Fry: Did one of you hit him with your
hoverbike?
Randa: Yeah, we saw him. He said he was
a ghost.
Tarisa: He chased us around. Then we
found our Spacecast 4000 was stolen.
Fry: Spacecast 4000. Is that a video
game system?
Randa: Yes. We were going to spend the
entire weekend playing it.
Leela: Where are your parents? (gasps)
Oh, no! You poor girls must be orphans! I'm an orphan, too! I can
relate. I didn't find my parents until a few years ago.....
Tarisa: We're not orphans! Our families
are away at stupid family reunions.
Leela: Shame on you! When I was your
age, I would've killed to have gone to a family reunion!
Randa: Oh, no! There's that robot
again!
Bender: What's going on here, chumps?
Fry: These girls had their video game
system stolen from them.
Bender: What do you want me to do about
it?
Leela: Tell you what, girls? Why don't
we help you find your Spacecast 4000?
Randa and Tarisa: Okay, sure! I'm
Randa. I'm Tarisa. We're 13 and we're in our last year of junior
high.
Bender: Oh, this is going to be fun!
Helping brats! (mumbles disgustedly)
Leela: Have there been any clues?
Randa: (holding a piece of paper):
Yeah, this.
Bender: (taking the paper and reading):
"If you want to see your Spacecast again, you will go to doop!
Repeat, go to doop! That is all!"
Fry: We all know what DOOP stands for.
Bender: Democratic Order of Planets.
Leela: Democratic Order of Planets? Oh,
no. That means we'll have to pay a visit to....
Fry: You won't have to see Zapp,
remember? I did you that favor!
Leela: Don't remind me!
Bender: Come on, brats! Let's go to
DOOP and get your Spacecast back! All aboard!
Fry, Leela, Bender, Randa and Tarisa
all board the PE Ship.
Scene 2:
The PE Ship soared through space on
route to the DOOP
Ship. They arrived there.
Leela: (landing the ship at the DOOP
Ship): Here'e the deal. Bender, you go on with the girls and demand
to Zapp to give the girls their video game system back. Careful,
girls! Zapp Branigan likes to steal things from women!
Bender: Awww! I hate kids! Why do I
have to go? What am I? A babysitter? Bad enough I have to babysit Fry
sometimes.
Randa: We're not babies.
Tarisa: You're stupid, robot!
Bender: Fine! I'll go. Just for the
record, I think you're both stupid, too. (leaves the ship. Randa and
Tarisa both moan at Bender's insult).
Fry: You know, Leela. Helping these
kids is good practice.
Leela: Practice? What are you talking
about?
Fry: You, know. For when you and I get
together someday and have kids of our own and.....
Leela: Forget it, Fry! Not going to
happen!
Meanwhile inside the DOOP ship, Zapp
and Kiff were looking at Bender, Randa, and Tarisa entering the ship
via a viewscreen.
Zapp: Look, it's Bender and two little
girls. Hope Leela's not around....
Kiff: I see that, sir. What shall I do?
Zapp: Show them in, show them in.
Kiff opens the door and in walks
Bender, Randa, and Tarisa.
Zapp: So, what do I own this pleasure,
Bender and rugrats?
Bender: I'm totally out of this, girls!
You tell him.
Randa: You know why we're here, lame-o!
You stole our Spacecast from us!
Tarisa: We want it back now! Oh, and a
friend of ours with one eye told us you like to steal things from
women!
Zapp: Woah, woah, woah, woah, woah
girls! Settle down! I don't know what you're talking about. Kiff?
What is a Spacecast 4000?
Kiff: (sighs disgustedly): It's a video
game system,
sir.
Zapp: Aren't you girls a little too old
for video games?
Randa: No. We're not like other girls
our age who like teenybopper soap operas and bubblegum pop music.
Tarisa: We're different, okay? Give us
back our Spacecast!
Zapp: (holing a remote control to the
viewscreen): Tell you what. Why don't I turn on all the camera in the
ship and you tell me if you see what you're looking for.
Kiff: He really doesn't have it, girls.
Zapp: See? I don't have your video
game. You might want to try Omicron Persei 8. They're always stealing
things from humans.
Randa: Guess it's not here, let's go.
Tarisa: C'mon robot.
Bender: All right, all right already.
Seesh!
Bender, Randa, and Tarisa go back to
the PE Ship.
Fry: Any luck?
Leela: Did you find it?
Bender: Does it look like we found it?
Tarisa: The Zapp dude said to go to a
place called Omicron something.
Leela: Omicron Persei 8! That's our
next destination!
Randa: Hope it's there.
Randa and Tarisa: (together) Please, be
there. Please be there!
The PE Ship is on it's way to Omicron
Persei 8.
Scene 3:
On the way to Omicron Pesei 8, Fry,
Bender, Randa and Tarisa are in the back of the ship talking.
Fry: So, girls. What kind of music are
you young people into these days?
Randa: Tarisa and I like alternative
rock bands from any time period.
Tarisa: We hate rap, country, and those
stupid bubblegum pop bands those snobs at our school like.
Randa: Those snobs even hate video
games!
Tarisa: Randa and I are best friends
and only friends.
Randa: We like video games....
Tarisa: Comic books and cartoons.
Fry: Snobs in school, huh? Some things
never change. I was into that stuff too when I was your age. Still am
to this day.
Tarisa: Some kids in our school are
even dating! Eeeew!
Randa: Some of them even got pregnant!
Yuck!
Bender: You two are genuises compared
to them.
Randa: How old are you, now?
Fry: Well, I was born in 1977.
Tarisa: If you were born then, you
should be old! Ancient, man!
Fry: No, you see, I'm from 1000 years
ago and I got frozen.....
Randa: He'd be a skeleton, dude!
Bender: He _IS_ a skeleton! Want to
see?
Randa and Tarisa: Yeah!
Bender pulls Fry's shirt up revealing
his bony emiciated body.
Fry: Bender! Please! Stop! You're
embarrasing me!
Randa and Tarisa: We'll call him
'creepy skinny guy'! (both giggle)
Bender: Good one, girls! (pulling down
Fry's shirt)
Fry: How could you? 'Creepy Skinny
Guy'? We're trying to help you find your SpaceCast 4000 and this is
how you repay me?
Randa and Tarisa: No, sorry. (secretly
giggle.)
Leela: (landing the ship) We're at
Lrrr's castle. We'll go together this time.
Fry, Bender, Leela, Randa, and Tarisa
all get off the ship. Bender rings the doorbell, Lrrr answers.
Lrrr: What do you want?
Fry: You should be ashamed of yourself!
Stealing a video game system from these two innocent earth
children!
Leela: We got a lead from an unrelable
source that you stole a SpaceCast 4000 from them.
Bender: Just give it back so we can
take them home and not to have deal with them anymore!
Lrrr: Spacecast 4000? Why I nev.....
Ndnd approached them.
Ndnd: Is it true? Did you steal a
SpaceCast 4000 from these earth kids?
Lrrr: (hanging his head in shame) Yes.
I won't lie to you, Ndnd! I did!
Ndnd: Give it back to them, now!
Lrrr: (grabs a box and gives it to the
girls): Here you go, have it back. It's all yours. (under his breath)
Yeah, right.
Fry, Leela, Bender, Randa, and Tarisa
all head back to the ship.
Tarisa: Thank you mister alien.
Randa: Now we can go home and have our
fun weekend.
Fry: Did you guys have fun going into
space and seeing other planets?
Randa: I guess it was awesome.
Tarisa: That was pretty cool.
Leela: Let's get you two home now.
Bender: Don't tell your parents about
us! They won't believe you.
Fry: Next stop, Tucson. We were in
Tucson, right?
Leela: No, we were in Pheonix.
Fry: Damn, I always get those two
places confused.
They all get into the PE ship and take
off.
Bender: Finally, we can get these
dweebs home and......
Randa and Tarisa scream as though
they've seen something horrific.
Fry: Oh, no! (runs to the back of the
ship) What's wrong, girls?
Leela: Take the wheel, Bender, and take
us back to earth. (Runs to the back of the ship as well)
Bender: Taking the wheel with gusto!
Randa and Tarisa had tears in their
eyes. The box Lrrr gave them they had opened had a 20th Century TV
inside.
Fry: That's what a SpaceCast 4000 looks
like? A TV from my time?
Leela: That's obviously not their
SpaceCast.
Tarisa: It isn't. Stupid alien tricked
us!
Randa: We don't have our SpaceCast
4000! Now we can't have our fun weekend!
Randa and Tarisa both sob incoherently,
and let out loud, high pitched screams.
Fry: It's okay, girls. It's okay. We'll
find it.
Leela: We'll take the spaceship to a
magical place called New New York to see if we can find any leads.
Fry: Awww. It's fine. It's okay. You'll
have your SpaceCast back soon.
Leela: Want to give us a hug?
Randa hugs Fry, Tarisa hugs Leela. They
were both still screaming and sobbing.
Fry and Leela: Shhh. Shhh. Shhh. Shhh.
Fry: Calm down, calm down now.....
Leela: Take a deep breath and.....
Bender: (steering the ship): Two
questions! Are we going to Arizona?
Leela: No, just go back to New New
York.
Bender: Are these psycho brats really
13?
Fry: Yes, of course!
Bender: Hope neither of you were like
this when you were 13.
Fry: I kind of was, sorta....
Bender: 13 is the new 6!
The PE Ship landed in New New York in
the PE Building. Randa and Tarisa continued to sob.
Fry: See girls? This is where we work
and make deliveries.
Scene 4:
The next day at the PE Building, Randa
and Tarisa were in the living room with Fry and Bender jumping rope.
They used Bender's extendo arms for a jump rope. Fry was jumping in
the middle.
Randa and Tarisa (singing): 9, 8, 7, 6,
5, 4, 3! Bender is great and he hates me! 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2!
Bender is great and he hates you!
They dropped Bender's arm causing Fry
to fall.
Fry: Woah! Owww! Snap!
Randa and Tarisa: (giggling)
Bender: (sarcastically) Want me to kiss
your boo-boo?
Fry scraped his knee and Bender spits
beer on Fry's knee.
Bender: Alcohol heals all wounds!
Fry: Yipe!
Prof. Farnsworth, Leela, Hermes, Amy,
and Zoidberg come in.
Prof. Farnsworth: What is going on
here? Who are these kids?
Leela: We brought them back from
Arizona because their SpaceCast 4000 was stolen. We promised to help
them find it.
Prof. Farnsworth: Preposterious! You're
not supposed to get emotionally involved with your delivery
clients!
Zoidberg: (To the girls) Hi,
sweethearts! I'm a doctor! Wanna lollipop? (Holing a lollipop)
Randa and Tarisa scream.
Hermes: I don't blame them for being
scared of you!
Amy: Hi, girls. Either of you have a
crush on anybody?
Randa and Tarisa: Ewwwww! Gross! Yuck!
We hate boys!
Amy: Spleesh! You girls are so
trimmature!
Prof. Farnsworth: Oh, all right fine!
We'll do some research on the computer that I was installed in the
pool for SpaceCast 4000 thefts.
Everyone in the pool!
Bender: Computer's in the pool, girls,
want to come?
Leela: I never understood why he
installed it there. Get on your bathing suits everyone.
Everyone was in the pool. Randa and
Tarisa were about to jump into the deep end.
Fry: Randa! Tarisa! Don't! Be careful!
They both jumped in and splashed Fry.
Fry: Heh. What do you know? They're
daredevils.
Prof. Farnsworth: (on the computer)
Eureka! Good news everyone! I just did some research for thefts of
the SpaceCast 4000. Almost over 145,000 SpaceCasts have been stolen
all over the planet! Guess who's behind it?
Bender: Elzar?
Prof. Farnsworth: No! Mom and her sons!
So, Fry, Bender, Leela, I need you to go to Mom's Friendly
Robot Oil Company incognito! And take
the kids with you.
Randa: Yay! Hooray! Wooo! We're getting
our SpaceCast back!
Leela: Come on girls! We're going to
get your
SpaceCast back!
Fry: We'll have to be in disguise. Who
would be go as?
Bender: (opening his chest compartment
and revealing some costumes) Leave it to Bender!
Scene 5:
Fry, Bender, and Leela were going to
Mom's Friendly Robot Company disguised as the Robot Mafia. Fry was
dressed as Clamps, Leela was dressed as Joey Mousepad, and Bender as
the Donbot with Randa and Tarisa in tow.
Fry: So, how do you both like New New
York?
Randa: It's different, not like
Pheonix.
Tarisa: Pheonix is better.
Leela: Here we are, we'll sneak in
through the window.
Everyone snuck in through the window
and walked out into the hallway. Randa and Tarisa found their
SpaceCast a room.
Tarisa: It's our SpaceCast! Yes!
Randa: Now we can have our fun weekend!
Bender: Wait a minute, not yet. We
gotta get to the bottom of this first....
Randa and Tarisa were already playing
their SpaceCast.
Bender: To hell with them, anyway!
They all get stopped by Mom's sons.
Walt: Halt there! We're not afraid of
you, Robot Mafia!
Larry: (Trying to be tough) We demand
to know why you're here!
Bender: We are here because you all
stole a video game system!
Walt: Yes, indeed we did. Mom was going
to use them for mind control to have all the robots in the world do
her bidding!
Larry: What are you going to do about
it?
Bender: You all have guns in your
pockets. You will use the guns to blow your brains out!
Inger: (shivering in fear) But, Mr.
Donbot. We are Mom's sons! We have no brains! She told us so herself.
Leela: Then what you have, blow out!
Bender: Clamps here will count to
three, so start blowing out some brains!
Fry: One!.........uh........What comes
after one?
Bender: (disgustedly) Two! Never mind,
skinny! I'll count myself! 1!....2!.....
Suddenly Bender spits out a gallon of
beer and his costume falls off.
Walt: (giving the costume back to
Bender): Here's your........Hey, wait a minute! You're the Planet
Express Crew! Get them!
Fry and Leela: (Taking off their
costumes) Surprise! (Throwing the costumes at Walt.)
They all run away while Walt, Larry,
and Inger chase after them.
Larry: You're lucky Mom's away on
business!
Fry, Leela, and Bender go into the room
where Randa and Tarisa were playing their SpaceCast. Leela and Bender
carried the girls, while Bender puts the SpaceCast in his chest
compartment. Bender finds an open can of oil slick.
Bender: (kicking and tipping the can of
oil slick) Try to outrun this, chumps!
Walt, Larry, and Inger catch up to them
only to slip on the oil slick one by one they all fall out a window
and into a cesspool. Fry, Bender, Leela, Randa and Tarisa all laugh.
Scene 6:
The PE Ship is going all around Earth
giving back the stolen SpaceCasts.
Fry: Look at this. In a way, we're
being like Santa Claus.
Leela: Yeah, before Santa Claus became
evil and brutal.
Bender: I'll just be glad to get rid of
these brats. (To Randa and Tarisa) Here that, chumpettes? Now that
we got your stupid SpaceCast back, we're done with you! Don't even
bother us, again!
Leela: Bender!
Bender: And this is why I am never
having kids!
Randa and Tarisa: (repeatedly) Are we
they yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet?
Scene 7 Conclusion:
The PE Ship lands at Tarisa's house.
Later on, Bender is inside installing the SpaceCast 4000.
Leela: Be patient. It's only a matter
of time.
Fry: So, did you girls have a fun
adventure with us?
Randa: It was cool going into space and
on other planets.
Tarisa: Not only that, being in a
different state besides this one.
Fry: Now you have something to brag to
the snobby kids you go to school with.
Randa: We didn't like what that alien
did.
Tarisa: Hated him. He was cruel.
Leela: You don't know the half of it.
Lrrr and the Omicrons have been trying to invade New New York many a
time.
Randa: Glad we don't live there.
Tarisa: I never want to go back.
Fry and Leela: Hey?!
Leela: Most importantly, you girls did
a good deed by helping us give back those other stolen SpaceCasts.
Another thing you can brag to the snobs in your school. Just not too
much.
Bender: (walking out of the house) All
right, freaks! Your video game system is ready to go and so am I!
Randa and Tarisa: Yay! Awesome!
Randa and Tarisa run into the house.
Where they all play SpaceCast 4000 for the whole weekend.
Fry: And away they go.
Bender: Away they go out of our lives
for good!
Fry: I would like to have kids like
that someday. And I'll say it again Leela! It was good practice for
us
when we get married and......
Bender: (interupting) Don't go there,
pal. Don't go there.
Leela: Feels good that we made a
difference and making someone happy. And we didn't give up until we
found it.
Fry: Right about that.
Bender: Now you two are sounding like
those boring and annoying public service announcements!
Fry, Bender, and Leela all laugh and
head back to the PE Ship and back home to New New York.
THE END
Closing Credits.
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