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Thursday afternoon at Planet Express.
Bender comes into the dining room carrying dinner.
"Meal time!" he says to his
co-workers as he places it on the table. He lifts the lid off the
tray to reveal cooked turnips and roast turkey.
Fry smells the aroma. "Smells good
Bender."
Everyone dishes up.
"This is delicious Bender!"
said Hermes. "You finally learned how to cook!"
"This is what all those hours of
watching Elzar's cooking show were for," said Bender as he
returns to the kitchen.
"I gave Bender the turnips,"
said Farnsworth. "I've been experimenting with them."
"What did you do?" asked
Leela.
"I've been teaching the turnips to
fly."
"How did the experiments turn
out?" asked Fry.
"Not good. Turnips only fly down."
"So they must have been a complete
disaster," said Leela.
"Not really," said
Farnsworth, "but with the roast turkey, they are delicious."
"Any guesses as to why they never
learned to fly?" asked Leela.
"I am a scientist!" said
Farnsworth. "I do not make guesses! I can tell you exactly why
they never flew!"
"And why is that?" asked
Leela.
"It's because they're stupid!"
said Farnsworth. "But I have been working on something more
promising. I hope to win the Nobel Prize at tonight's science
convention."
Suddenly, everyone hears Bender scream.
He emerges from the kitchen, his apron and chef hat on fire.
"Quick, somebody throw the pitcher
of water on me!" he cries as he frantically runs around.
Fry grabs the pitcher and throws it at
Bender, dousing the flames after smashing.
"Fry you idiot!" said
Farnsworth.
"I just did what he told me to,"
said Fry.
"When I said `throw the pitcher of
water on me', I didn't mean the water and the pitcher too!"
Bender said angrily.
Fry chuckles.
"Fry, go get some more water,"
said Farnsworth.
Fry stands and heads for the kitchen.
In the kitchen, Fry opens the fridge.
Inside, he finds a jar of a fluid pink liquid.
Curiosity gets the better of Fry and he
takes it out. Removing the lid, he takes a sip of this mysterious
drink. He smiles in delight.
"Mmmm. Tastes like cotton candy!"
he said to himself.
He drinks some more.
"Now then," said Farnsworth.
"As I said earlier, I've been working on something more
promising. It's a formula to repair damaged brain cells. One
spoonful, and a total idiot becomes a genious with an above average
IQ."
"That's amazing!" said
Hermes.
"Who wants to see my newest
creation?" asked Farnsworth.
"I do!" said everyone as they
raised their right arm.
"Alright!" said Farnsworth.
"Let's go to the kitchen."
Everyone stands and approaches the door
to the kitchen. It opens automatically.
Inside, they find Fry, who sets down an
empty jar onto the counter.
Farnsworth gasps.
"Man, that was delicious!"
said Fry.
"Fry, what the hell have you
done?!" said Farnsworth.
"I just chugged down your brain
formula," said Fry.
"Fry, you idiot!" said
Farnsworth. "That was my lastest creation! And now...!"
He stops. "Wait! How did you know
what it was?"
"Because I'm a genious!" said
Fry.
Farnsworth looks skeptical. So does
everyone else.
"Let's take him into the lab,"
he said.
Farnsworth takes a sample of Fry's DNA
and fills a vial with it. Then he dumps its contents into a tube
connected to a machine.
The following words appear on the
computer screen.
Subject Identified
Name: Phillip J. Fry
IQ: Off The Scale
Everyone looks quite surprised.
"Fry, I'm gonna ask you a few
questions to test the reliability of the analysis."
"I'm ready Professor," said
Fry.
"Who invented the telephone?"
asked Farnsworth.
"Alexander Graham Bell."
"Who was the first president of
the United States?"
"George Washington."
"What is one property of a right
triangle?"
"The sum of the square root of any
two sides is equal to the square root of the remaining side."
"What is the square root of
4,578,602?"
"2139.7668"
Farnsworth checks it on a calculator.
"Good lord!" he said. "He's
right!"
Everyone gasps.
"The formula I created works even
better than I imagined. When Fry drank the whole jar, it repaired all
his damaged brain cells and added even more! He's now the world's
smartest man!"
Everyone gasps again.
Farnsworth's face breaks out into a
huge smile.
"This is it!" he said. "I'm
sure to win the Nobel Prize for sure now!"
"With his newfound intelligence,
Fry will become much more efficent and helpful around here,"
said Hermes.
"If I win the Nobel Prize,"
said Farnsworth, "I'll make Fry my new lab assistant."
That night, at the Science Academy,
everyone is seated around tables. Farnsworth's turn finally comes
after Wernstrom. Fry accompanies him.
"Ladies and gentlemen," he
said, "I present to you the result of my newest creation, which
of course is now in the stomach of this young man here."
"Tell us more professor,"
said the host.
"I invented a formula that can
repair damaged brain cells," said Farnsworth. "However, my
delivery boy here drank it all, and he's now the world's smartest
man."
"Affirmitive," said Fry. "I
cannot tell a lie. Everything I say or write is true."
Everyone oohs and ahhs.
"In fact, I'll tell you all that
China is hiding nuclear missiles near the Great Wall of China."
Several reporters jot this information
down on their notepads.
"Isn't this incredible?"
asked Farnsworth. "Eat your heart out Wernstrom!"
Wernstrom frowns and growls.
"I am the smartest man alive,"
said Fry. "Not bad for someone who used to wet the bed so much,
he had to sleep in long johns until he was twelve."
Fry suddenly realizes his mistake and
covers his mouth with both hands. Too late, as everyone is already
laughing.
"I think we have a winner!"
said the host. "I present the Nobel Prize in Science to the
ultimate genious here!"
Farnsworth looks excited.
"Congratulations genious,"
said the host as he placed the medallion around Fry's neck.
Farnsworth's smile fades. Everyone else
cheers and applauds.
"Well," Wernstrom said to
himself, "at least Farnsworth didn't get it."
Back at Planet Express, Fry is admiring
his Nobel Prize.
"I don't understand," said
Farnsworth. "I'm the one who created the formula. All you did
was drink it."
"You're just jealous cause I'm
smarter than you," said Fry.
"Well professor," said
Hermes, "I guess now Fry is your new assistant."
"Screw that!" said Fry. "From
now on, I'm in charge around here!"
"Fry, I'm the head of Planet
Express!" said Farnsworth.
"All in favouring of appointing
me, raise your hand," said Fry.
Everyone rose their left hand, except
Farnsworth.
"Then it's done!" said Fry.
"I shall take Farnsworth's place. From now on, his lab is mine."
"You can't do that!" said
Farnsworth.
"My fellow co-workers have
spoken," said Fry. "Farnsworth, you will be my assistant!
Things will be different around here!"
"Oh yeah?!" said Farnsworth.
"What about the last time you took over this company?!"
(See "Futurestock" for details)
"Professor, Fry wasn't responsible
for what almost happened," said Leela. "It was all the
fault of that other guy."
"I'll say!" said Bender.
"Whooooooooo!"
"Alright then," said Fry. "We
start tomorrow. With me as your new leader, Planet Express shall
thrive!"
Everyone cheers and applauds, except
Farnsworth.
"I'll sue you for this Fry!"
said Farnsworth angrily. "Maybe not today! Maybe not tomorrow!
But as soon as I remember how to sue someone!"
The next morning, everyone arrives at
Planet Express. Fry gets himself a cup of coffee and drinks while
reading the morning paper in the Meeting Room.
Everyone notices that Fry is wearing
the same suit he wore in "Futurestock".
"I've done it," he said.
"I've changed the world. Weapon Inspectors have invaded China
and discovered those missiles."
"We're proud of you Fry,"
said Leela. "Aren't we Farnsworth?"
"Yeah, right," Farnsworth
mutters.
Fry notices that Leela is wearing.
"Don't tell me you're wearing that to work Leela," he said.
"I've always worn this at Planet
Express," said Leela.
"Well you'll have you know I've
found you a new uniform."
"What's wrong with what I'm
wearing?"
"It's too revealing," said
Fry. "It will distract your male co-workers. If workers are
distracted, they get less done!"
He hands her a small rectangular box.
"Here is your new uniform. Get changed immediately or you're out
of a job!"
"Fine then" Leela grumbles as
she takes the box and heads for the locker room.
Bender opens his compartment, takes out
a beer bottle and begins to drink.
Fry snatches it away. "No alcohol
allowed!" he said. "Either quit drinking or else!"
"I fail to see the threat,"
said Bender as he lights a cigar.
"No smoking!" said Fry as he
confiscated it.
Amy puts a wad of gum into her mouth
and begins to chew. She blows a bubble that bursts.
"Spit out that gum now!" said
Fry.
"But..."
"I will not tolerate gum chewing
in my company!" said Fry as he gets up and walks over to Amy. He
smacks her on the back of the head, forcing the gum to come out of
her mouth.
"Empty your pockets as well!"
Fry demands.
Amy does as she is told. Once done,
there are some more pieces of gum, candy, lipstick and mascara.
"I will not tolerate candy or
make-up," said Fry. "Are you trying to get fired?! You may
only chew gum or candy outside the building! Don't bring them to work
anymore!"
"Um, no sir, I mean yes sir, uh
sorry sir," said Amy as Fry confiscates her candy and make-up.
Leela comes back in, dressed in the
same suit she wore in "Futurestock".
"That's better," said Fry.
"Everyone else, get changed into your suits! Then get to work!"
Later, in his lab, Fry sat at the
computer.
"What a way to start my reign,"
he said. "But there are bigger fish to fry. First I'm gonna
update my portfolio. Then I'll have to reprogram the robot to make it
more effiecent."
Farnsworth meanwhile was grumbling to
himself as he swept the floor.
In his office, Hermes was filing some
papers into the appropriate drawer. Leela, Amy, and Bender were
working on the ship. Zoidberg was in the clinic. Everyone is wearing
the suit they work in "Futurestock".
Suddenly, Fry's voice was heard over
the intercom.
"Bender! Report to my lab at
once!"
"Keep your shorts on already!"
said Bender. "I'm coming!"
Later, Bender entered the lab. "You
asked to see me Fry?"
Fry approaches Bender, holding a disk.
"What are you doing?" asked
Bender.
"Turn around," said Fry.
"It's time to become more effiecent, thanks to this program I've
just designed myself."
"Oh no!" said Bender.
"Anything but that!"
"You were warned!" Fry said
as he grabbed Bender. He turned him around, pulled out Bender's
original disk from the back of his head, and inserted the new disk.
Bender stands up straight.
"I am Bender, version 2.1,"
he said.
Fry smiles. "Sometimes I amaze
myself."
"Bender has performed an illegal
operation and will now shut-down."
"What the?!"
Bender shuts down.
Fry frowns. "Stupid robot! It
seems I'll have to make changes to that program!"
In the Meeting Room, the rest of the
crew is taking a coffee break.
"Fry's changed," said Hermes.
"He's not the same guy anymore."
"We know," said Zoidberg.
"But he just wants to make this company better than ever. Maybe
it's for the best."
"Where's Bender?" asked
Leela. "He should be here by now."
"I think he's still at the lab,"
said Hermes.
The door opens. In comes Fry.
"What the hell is this?!" he
said. "Why are you all doing nothing?!"
"We're having a coffee break,"
said Hermes.
"In my company, breaks only lead
to less getting done! No more coffee breaks! Ever!"
"What?!" cries everyone.
"Get back to work! Now! Or I'll
find some new employees who I can rely on to get the job done!"
He storms out.
"Maybe making Fry our new boss
wasn't such a good idea after all," said Zoidberg.
"For once Zoidberg," said
Hermes, "we agree with you."
Fry enters the living room, only to see
Amy talking on the Vid-Phone with Kif.
"Hey!" he said. "No
talking to boyfriends during work!"
"Can't I have just one more
minute?" asked Amy.
"Boomstick!"
"Alright! I'll get off!"
Fry storms off.
"Sorry Kif," said Amy. "I've
gotta go. I'll talk to you later."
Back in the lab, Fry is making changes
to the program he designed to reprogram Bender with.
Farnsworth finishes sweeping the floor
under the table, but bang his head, knocking down a beaker. It
smashes on the floor.
"I'm surrounded by imcompetants!"
Fry said angrily to himself. "If you break one more thing,
you're gone! Terminated!"
"Sorry sir," said Farnsworth
as he begins to clean up the mess of broken glass.
Later, Fry inserts the disk containing
his new and improved program into Bender.
Bender comes back to life.
"I am Bender, version 2.2"
"That's better," said Fry.
"I've never worked so hard in my
life," Amy said. "I'm sweating!"
"Me too!" said Leela. "I've
just about had enough of the way Fry runs this company!"
"I have an idea!" said
Zoidberg.
"What?" asked Amy, Leela, and
Hermes.
"Let's go on strike!" said
Zoidberg. "We'll demand that Fry changes the way he runs this
company. Until he does, we won't work!"
"Zoidberg, that's a great idea!"
said Hermes.
"What would you guys do without
me?" asked Zoidberg.
Nobody spoke.
Zoidberg looked pleased with himself.
Later, Fry checks his watch.
"Time to close up for the day,"
he said.
He turned off the computer, stood from
his chair, and walked out the lab.
As he went outside to lock up the
building, he caught sight of his employees marching around carrying
signs and shouting "No more work, Fry is a jerk!"
"What the hell is going on here?!"
he said.
"We're on strike," said
Zoidberg.
"Is that what you've been doing
for the last few hours?! I don't pay you for this! You all still owe
me a few hours! Get back in or I'll start issuing pink slips!"
"Fry, we've had enough!" said
Farnsworth. "You way you run Planet Express has gone too far!
I'm taking my company back!"
Fry only smiles. "Go ahead, bring
it on Baldy!"
"What did you just call me sonny?"
"You heard me Baldy! What are you?
Stupid?! I guess so!"
"If I had never created that
formula," said Farnsworth, "you would still be a delivery
boy!"
"But you did. And now I'm smart,
much smarter than you Hubert! Everything I say is the truth!"
Bender comes outside. "What is
your command boss?"
The others were shocked.
"Oh no!" said Leela. "Fry
has reprogrammed Bender!"
"That's Bender version 2.2!"
said Bender.
"You could all learn a thing or
two from your new robotic co-worker!" said Fry. "You all
need to change too!"
"We're fine the way we are,"
said Amy.
"I'll be the judge of that you
slut!"
"What?!" asked Amy.
"Amy, it is true," said
Leela. "You were always picking up men, then dumping them, at
least until you settled on Kif."
She turned to face Fry. "You've
changed Fry. You're not the same man Phillip J. Fry we know and
love."
"Oh really," said Fry. "What
are you gonna do about it one-eye?"
Leela gasped.
"Fry, this has gone far enough,"
said Farnsworth. "This company is rightfully mine!"
"You're not just wrong professor,"
said Fry, "but compared to me, you're stupid."
"Now wait just one minute...!"
said Farnsworth.
"And you're ugly, just like
Leela's parents."
"Did you just call my parents
ugly?!" asked Leela.
"He's right," said Amy.
"That's what they are."
Leela glares at Amy.
"Bender, get these people back to
work!" said Fry. "They still owe me a few hours!"
"Yes sir! Alright everyone, you
heard the man! Get back inside or..."
Bender suddenly stops. "Bender has
performed an illegal operation and will now shut down."
"Not again!" said Fry.
Bender shuts down.
"Oh brother!" said Fry. "I'm
getting a headache! I need to lie down!"
He goes back inside the building.
"Somehow, we've got to get this
company back under my control!" said Farnsworth. "I made
Fry into what he is and I can take him back!"
"How?" asked Leela.
"It's real easy. The answer is
alcohol! It destroys brain cells! All we need to do is get Fry to
drink alot of it, and he'll be back to normal!"
"How are we gonna get him to do
that?" asked Hermes.
Farnsworth takes a small vial out of
his pocket.
"I snuck this out of the lab when
Fry wasn't looking," he said. "It's a sleeping potion.
We'll put him to sleep, then inject alcohol into his brain!"
"Where are we gonna get some
alcohol?" asked Leela.
"Beer!" said Farnsworth.
"Somebody bring me my coffee!"
said Fry as he lay on the couch.
"Coming up sir," said
Farnsworth.
He inserted three dollars into the
coffee machine. When the coffee filled up the mug, Farnsworth poured
in the sleeping potion. Everyone else tried to hide their laughter.
They failed.
"What's so funny?!" Fry
shouts.
"Nothing sir," said
Farnsworth as he comes into the living room. He hands Fry the mug of
coffee.
"About time!" said Fry as he
snatched it away. Then in less than two seconds, he slammed it's
contents down his throat until he could see the bottom.
"I'm getting sleepy," he said
as he began to doze off. Then he went out like a light.
Meanwhile, Leela inserted Bender's old
disk into the slot on the back of his head.
Bender comes back to life.
"Somebody get me a beer! And don't
piss me off!"
"Sorry Bender," said Leela.
"For now, we need you to loan us some of your beer."
"Are you nuts?!" Bender said.
"If anybody touches my beer, I'll kill them!"
"Do you want the old Fry back or
not?!"
"After what he put me through?!
Alright already!"
Zoidberg fills a syringe with beer and
holds it over Fry. Then he injects it into the back of Fry's head.
"Finally, someone will appreciate
my work!" he said.
"Now what?" asked Hermes.
"We wait," said Farnsworth.
"The effects of the sleeping potion wear off a few minutes after
it is consumed."
"So what do we do now?" asked
Bender.
"Take a well deserved coffee
break!" said Farnsworth.
Everyone cheers.
In the Meeting Room, everyone is
drinking coffee with extra cream, except for Bender who is drinking
beer, and Amy who is chewing bubble gum. Everyone has already changed
back into their regular clothes.
Suddenly, the door opens. In staggers
Fry, drunk.
"Hey Fry," said Bender,
"feeling more like yourself now?"
"Fry?" asked Fry. "Who's
Fry?"
"Why it's you," said
Farnsworth. "You work here as a delivery boy. Remember?"
"Ok for sures on dat!" said
Fry. "Even though I don'ts know whatz your tolking about, I
always muck sure I gits the joob done effishingly!"
Everyone is shocked.
"Good grief!" said
Farnsworth. "Fry's become a total idiot!"
"I guess injecting alcohol into
his brain wasn't such a good idea," said Zoidberg.
"Well, at least he's no longer in
any condition to run this company," said Farnsworth. "But
apparently this idea worked too well. Now we've reduced Fry to a
bumbling idiot!"
"Who are you guys?" asked
Fry.
"We're your co-workers," said
Hermes. "Don't tell us you forgot that as well!"
"What's a co-worker?" asked
Fry.
"I can't believe how stupid you've
become!" said Farnsworth.
"Stupid is as stupid does,"
said Fry.
"Fry, don't you even know who we
are?" asked Leela.
"Who are you?" asked Fry.
"I'm Leela, captain of the Planet
Express ship."
"A what?" asked Fry.
"Fry, who am I?" asked Leela.
"Surely you must know something?"
"Guh?"
"Have you really lost your mind?"
asked Leela.
"You thaid it you weirdo!"
"Good lord!" said Farnsworth.
"He can't even speak properly!"
"Professor, you must have some of
that formula left!" said Leela. "We have to restore Fry to
his normal self!"
"As a matter of fact, I have been
making more just like Fry asked me to earlier. He said if we all
drank enough, we'd become more efficient."
"Where?" asked Leela.
"In my lab!"
In Farnsworth's lab, Farnsworth opens a
small jar containing a fluid pink liquid. He dipped a small spoon
inside.
"Open wide Fry," he said.
Fry opened his mouth, allowing the
spoon full of Farnsworth's brain formula. He swallowed.
"Yum!" he said. "Tastes
like cotton candy!"
"Now let's begin the test,"
said Farnsworth. "You start Leela."
"What's your full name?"
asked Leela.
"Phillip J. Fry," said Fry.
"Who are we?" asked Amy.
"Amy, Hermes, Leela, Bender,
Zoidberg, some old fart..."
Farnworth shoved another spoonful of
his brain formula into Fry's mouth.
"Farnsworth," said Fry.
"What's my full name?" asked
Farnsworth.
"Hubert Farnsworth."
"What's my clone's name?"
"Cubert."
"What's my first name?" asked
Leela.
"Beats me," said Fry.
"Down the hatch," said
Farnsworth as he shoved another spoonful of his brain formula down
Fry's throat.
"Turanga," said Fry.
"Who's the jerk captain of DOOP?"
asked Leela.
"Brannigan."
"His first name?"
"I dunno."
Another spoonful of the brain formula
is put into his mouth.
"Zapp!" said Fry.
"What's my boyfriend's name?"
asked Amy.
"Kif Kroker."
"What's the name of my son and
wife?" asked Hermes.
"Labarbara and Dwight."
"What species am I?" asked
Leela.
"Mutant."
"What planet am I from?"
asked Zoidberg.
"Decapodian 10."
"In what year did you graduate
from college?" asked Leela.
"I never graduated from college."
"Where did you originally come
from?" asked Hermes.
"Twentieth century."
"What's my favorite slogan?"
asked Bender.
"Bite my shiny metal ass."
"What's the square root of
2,056,403?" asked Farnsworth.
Everyone was silent.
"I dunno," said Fry.
"Yes!" cheered Leela. "He's
back!"
Everyone else cheers, except Fry.
"What just happened here?" he
asked.
"Long story," said
Farnsworth.
"Hey," said Fry, "what's
this medallion around my neck?"
He lifted it up for him to see.
"The Nobel Prize? How did I get
this?"
"Long story," said
Farnsworth.
Fry removes the medallion from around
his neck and gives it to Farnsworth.
"Here professor," he said.
"You deserve this more than I do, whatever you did to earn it."
With a smile, Farnsworth places the
medallion around his neck. "Finally!" he said. "I've
won the Nobel Prize!"
"It's good to have you back Fry,"
said Zoidberg.
Everyone agreed.
"Yeah," said Bender. "Even
if you did used to wet the bed until you were twelve!"
Everyone started laughing, except Fry,
who looked puzzled.
"What?" he asked.
The End
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