Futurama

What Sleeps In Between
By purplefish

Disclaimers: Futurama and all the related characters are a creation of Matt Groening and David X. Cohen. The following work is purely fan material and has absolutely no commercial purposes.

Before we start: A story that I think will be a bit different of what I did before… Once again, it is set between “the Farnsworth parabox” and “the Devil’s hands are idle playthings”, for how continuity is worth in Futurama anyway… ;-)

Despite what most people think, the Universe is not infinite. It sure is extremely vast, having a size that is hardly imaginable for our human mind, but it does have clear limits, and although it is still expanding, it still not covers the entire Creation. We already know there’s another universe in this plan of reality, one which inhabitants apparently have the strange (and unexplainable) habit of dressing up as cow-boys, but from what the scientists have been able to see from this universe, it seems that it obeys to the very same laws of physics that are commanding life. Which means it, too, is finite. But despite the apparent proximity between the two universes, all the scientific missions which tried to get to the other universe failed. There’s a strange force that is preventing anything from our universe to get in the void between the two universes, a force that is turning the Universe into one monstrous and gigantic bubble, floating in the never-ending nothingness. Scientists tried everything they had at their disposal to break this barrier and to finally explore this other universe, but nothing seems to be able to break this strange force-field that is containing the Universe…

Unless it is protecting it.

Scientists think that there’s absolutely nothing between the two universes, which explains why we can perfectly see the neighboring cosmos.

Is this really the case?

Is the reason we can’t see anything beyond the barrier except the other universe the fact that our poor human senses can’t allow us to see the true face of that strange space in between?

Which leads to this question…

Do we really want to know what is between the two universes?

Fry, Leela and Bender had better things to do than trying to answer those questions. They were more obsessed with some urgent problems, like having a clear idea of where they were and where they could find help. A few minutes ago, Leela stopped the engines when she realized they were near the edge of the universe. She already had taken Fry to the limit of their cosmos, a few months ago, just for an innocent trip to have a look at the other universe… The problem was that was not the same sector. For what she knew, they could have been at the exact opposite end of the universe, but that was absolutely impossible to know. The problem with the Universe’s edge was that it was, by definition, everywhere the Universe was coming to its limits…

- Where are we, Leela?

The young woman turned to face Fry, a bit annoyed. She should have expected him to ask her this, but she wasn’t really pleased with having to confess she was about as lost as him. He was surely worried about their situation, but at least he wasn’t sick anymore.

- I don’t have the slightest idea, Fry. We could be anywhere in that freaking cosmos… I think that when we got in that rift in the time-space continuum, it must have teleported us here; now the question is to know where “here” is exactly…

- Can’t we just have a look at all those things that goes “blip” and “tudu-tudu”, and with all those weird buttons on them?

- I already tried that… It looks like our navigation instruments didn’t like the teleportation. They’re more or less all jammed out.

- That’s a fine mess you put us into!

Enraged, Leela looked at Bender. The robot was finishing mopping the floor, as Fry’s organism REALLY didn’t like the teleportation… It was pretty obvious Bender was still pretty angry that she forced him to clean up the “mess” the young man made. But she wasn’t in the mood for having to bear his behavior much longer.

- Do you really think I wanted this, Bender? Said Leela, almost shouting at him. I didn’t even realize where we were flying to before we were in it!

- And you call yourself a pilot? Replied the robot. What was wrong in… Oh, I don’t know… Avoid this stupid wormhole?

- We were in the middle of an uncharted meteorite field! And by the way, I told you not to fire this nuclear torpedo on those meteorites! They already were made of some strange unstable radioactive matter, and I’m almost sure the explosion created this rift we got sucked in!

- Details, details… Said the Bender, making a gesture that was showing what he was thinking of Leela’s argument. Find a way for us to get back to Earth, and that will be all.

- Because that’s not what I’m doing? I don’t have a single clue about where we are!

Fry could easily see Leela was almost about to tear Bender’s limbs apart. Her anger may have been caused by her anxiety rather than by Bender’s rants, but it was still a very bad idea to have her lose her temper in such a situation. Especially considering that, in such a state, she had the bad habit to get mad at him as well. The young man quickly searched a way for calming her down. He couldn’t see what he could do for improving their situation, or what to say which would distract her from Bender… But he thought he could do something which would make her feel good. He quietly got behind her and, softly, began to massage her neck, her shoulders and her back.

- What the hell are you doing?!? Said Leela, still angered.

- Just a little something I’d like to try… Replied Fry. You’re way too tensed for thinking clearly, so…

- Fry, I’m perfectly sane! I swear, if… You don’t… Get your hands off…

Fry felt that the young woman was gradually beginning to relax. In fact, he even heard her sigh of contempt a few minutes later. Bender was staring at them, making sure he was recording every bit of it on his hard-disk in order to replay it later and maybe finally understand what the hell was going on.

- Wow… Whispered Leela. That’s… Quite good…

- Thanks. I didn’t really have many occasions to perform lately, so I’m afraid I’m a bit rusted.

- No no, really, that’s perfect. (Leela frowned.) Wait, since when can you do massage?

- Well, it all started in high-school. See, there was that guy, Roberto, who was massaging the football team…

- You were in your school’s football team?!

- Yeah. As the water-boy.

- Oh.

- Anyway, I asked him if he could teach me a few things, as I was dating that girl at the moment and thought it would be cool to give her a massage before we… Well…

- Too much information… Said Bender.

- And it worked? Asked Leela.

- Took me a while. But Roberto was extremely patient, and never rushed me. In fact, the two of us really shared a bond. Aaah, I think I will never forget the great moments we had together, the little sparkles I thought I could feel when I was touching him appropriately, the sweet abandonment he was making me live when it was his turn to explain me what was the desired effect…

- WAY TOO MUCH INFORMATION!!!!! Said Bender, trembling with disgust.

- And did it work on your girlfriend? Asked Leela.

- No, I couldn’t even try on her. Once, she surprised us while I was training. I don’t know what happened; she just stood there a few seconds, looking shocked, and then ran away. The next time I saw her, we broke up.

- Oh.

- Yeah. And shortly after, the principal fired Roberto for reasons I never knew.

- What?

- I’m serious! Oh Lord, I really missed him. He really was the only pal I had that year. In fact, everybody was looking at me strangely after Roberto got fired…

Leela was still getting pretty relaxed by Fry’s massage, but she decided it would be best not to make it last too long. Especially after such awkward confessions… She got up of her seat, and turned to look at her friend.

- Thank you, Fry. That was really kind.

- It’s been a pleasure. So, what do we do now?

- Well, we can’t stay here forever. We’ve got to find a way for getting back to Earth, but we can’t do this on our own…

- So what, we’re looking for help? Asked Bender.

- Exactly, replied Leela. Our first priority is to find an inhabited world, or a ship nearby, whatever, and from that we look for our way.

- Sounds easy, said Fry.

- Not really… As I told you all our instruments got jammed, and it includes the radar. We’re completely blind, in this case.

- Crud, said Fry, now worried. I guess I should have programmed my recording of the Blernsball season opening match…

BEEEEEEP.

Fry, Leela and Bender immediately looked at the pilot’s seat. There couldn’t be any mistakes.

It was their communicator.

Someone was trying to contact them.

BEEEEEEP.

- What the Hell are you waiting for, big boots?!? Said Bender. Answer that call!

This time, Leela didn’t bother to yell at Bender to shut up. They had a chance to get out of this mess sooner than they thought, and she really didn’t want to screw it up. She almost jumped to seat back at her place and immediately activated the communication.

The little screen which was usually allowing her to see her speaker got out of the roof and automatically switched on. Leela was expecting to see someone on the screen… But strangely, all she could see were interferences. She mentally cursed. If there was one thing which really shouldn’t have broken down, it was this freaking communicator!

- This is the Planet Express ship. Do you copy me?

Nobody answered to Leela’s question. Until this moment, Leela and the others couldn’t hear anything else than scratching noises, but now, she was sure she could hear something else… It could have been voices, but she couldn’t be sure. If it was someone, however, he was whispering or something…

- I repeat, this is the Planet Express ship. Do you copy me?

Still no answers. Leela looked at her friends behind her; the only thing they did was to shrug, apparently not at ease with this situation.

- Planet Express…

Leela looked again at the communicator’s screen. She couldn’t see anything, but she was sure to have distinctly heard something.

- Hello? Do you hear me?

And finally, someone answered. His voice was pretty cold, almost as if she was talking to an automatic answering machine, and he was speaking pretty slowly as if he was carefully choosing his words, but at least he was talking. She still couldn’t see anyone on the screen, however.

- Yes… I… Hear you…

- Oh, thank God… Are you around? We need some help, and…

- You are… Trespassing a restricted… Area…

- Beg your pardon? Asked Leela, surprised.

- This zone is under… The DOOP’s command… Civilians aren’t… Allowed here…

- Oh… Sorry, we didn’t know… In fact, we didn’t even know where we are… We got lost, and…

- That is none… Of our concerns… I will ask you… To come in our ship… For a routine inspection…

- Well, if this is axed so nicely… Replied a sarcastic Leela. Where are you exactly? We can’t see you…

- Just behind you... Please proceed… As fast as you can…

- Errr, is there a problem with your communicator? I mean, what’s telling me that…

But just at this moment, her speaker cut down the communication. It took Leela a few seconds for overcoming her surprise, but she quickly ignited the ship’s engine to make it turn round. Fry came closer to her.

- You’re not going to obey him, right?

- Well, we don’t have the choice… We’re in the middle of a sector we don’t know, for what is left, maybe we are indeed trespassing some restricted area…

- But don’t you think that whole story is fishy? Said Bender. He doesn’t even prove us he’s from the DOOP, and yet he gives us orders?

- Yeah, that sure is strange, I agree. But we never know… Maybe he can really help us, and then we would… HOLY CRAP!!!

Bender, Leela and Fry gasped in unison.

In front of them was one gigantic warship. It was certainly as big as the Nimbus, but looking at its appearance made Leela wish it was Zapp’s ship. It was looking like the horrible breeding between a crab, a scorpion and a spider, all this metallic and with extremely angular corners. The entrance of the docking bay was located just where the mouth would be on such a creature, and Leela was about as reluctant about getting in it as if it was indeed one titanic monster.

- If you’re looking for me, I’ll be in my room, said Bender. I think I just had an oil leak…

At first, the docking bay sure was looking impressive… It was certainly a bit larger than the Nimbus’, but what stroke Leela’s imagination was the fact that it was almost completely deserted. Usually, there always were dozens of small fighters in such a ship, not counting the engineers who are constantly looking at the ships and ensuring everybody that they could fly in outer space without a problem… But in this ship, you could only count three fighters, and no one was maintaining them. In fact, the fighters themselves made Leela curious: she just couldn’t identify what kind of model they could have been. And considering she knew every kind of ships that were used by the DOOP, she was beginning to ask herself if they indeed ended up in some secret test field or something… Another thing that was strange about the fighters was that they were really odd looking. Their general shapes, the type of engines they apparently were using… It looked quite… Retro. That was the first word that came to her mind. It wasn’t really reflecting the last years’ tendencies in matter of design and engineering…

And just to make everything more appealing, it was pretty cold in the docking bay. Not to the point that they were freezing, but they were expecting that this ship would have been heated better.

Whatever was supposed to happen, they all went out of the ship, hoping they would have answers. But it looked like they were still the victims of some elaborate joke… Nobody was inside the docking bay, welcoming them. After a few seconds of interrogations and dumbfounded looks, Bender finally decided to break the silence.

- So what, that’s it? We obey their orders, and they don’t even come here to say hello?

- I don’t like this, Leela… Said Fry. Do you think it’s a trap? I mean, I can’t enter any noises here, and usually this kind of ship is always filled with noises…

- And jerks in uniform, replied Bender, but that’s common everywhere anyway…

- Yeah… Said Leela, cautious. We’d better keep our eyes open… And be prepared to run in the ship in case something turns wrong…

- Like what? Asked Fry.

- We’ve been in enough dangerous situations for knowing when to run and when not to… Said Leela.

- Yeah, but… I don’t know… This seems so unusual…

- How unusual?

- Errr… Remember when Ronald Reagan’s head said he was about to write a book about his recent conversion to communism, and call it “Marx was right: Everything you need to know about the unbearable exploitation of the weak by the powerful”?

- Damn, THAT level of unusual?!?

- Yep.

- Well done, meatbag. Now I’m scared.

Leela was about to say to her friends that it was useless and that they should better leave, when suddenly some metallic noise occurred. Surprised by this, Leela instinctively took a combat stance, while Bender, afraid, jumped in Fry’s arms… Who barely managed to withstand his weight and was now huffing and puffing because of the effort…

It was in fact a sliding door on the other end of the room that was opening. At first, a blinding light behind it prevented Leela from seeing anything, but her eye soon got accustomed to the intense lighting, and she finally saw who was now entering in the docking bay.

The young woman quickly identified the leader. It was a middle-aged Caucasian man, quite tall, not bulky yet athletic. Most of his hairs were dark brown, but some of his locks were of the color of silver, showing he certainly was over his forties. He apparently shaved himself recently, considering Leela couldn’t see the slightest shadow on his cheeks and chin. His entire face was almost radiating authority and self-determination, but there was something else in his general attitude that was a bit stressing out Leela… His eyes, moreover, were of some cold grey-blue, which was reinforcing the general impression about him: he sure was good-looking, but there were some hints that were making you feel unease. The two guys who were following him had completely generic faces, the kind of guys that you just can’t remember how they look like even when you spent long minutes talking with them only one hour ago. But apparently, they certainly weren’t here for fun…

Another thing was odd with those persons… Their uniforms. Discovering that they were wearing pants nearly gave a shock to Fry, but more generally it wasn’t really looking like a DOOP uniform. It was obviously military, but not from the interplanetary organization, which only managed to increase Leela’s suspicion. The color scheme, at first, was a bit odd: pale green, with some yellow elements here and there (for example a yellow line which was running all the way on the side of their legs). Their jackets were closed on the right side of their body by big metallic golden buttons, and were going all the way to their lower jaw, tightening their neck. They weren’t wearing any gloves, but they had yellow shoulder-pads which were made of tissue and were having some braided threads which were hanging. Their trousers were generic, but their boots were reaching the middle of their calves. On the left side of their chests, on their heart, Leela could read the DOOP letters, above their badges and ranks. Apparently, the leader was a captain, and the others were lieutenants.

They stopped a few feet away from Leela, Fry and Bender. They were looking perfectly calm, but the Planet Express employees were still pretty anxious about what was about to happen. The captain smiled to them; but it didn’t really calm them down. He was obviously trying to look welcoming, but there was something that couldn’t be described in that smile that was really, really making them feel uneasy.

- Welcome on the Crimson Monarch, said the man. Let me introduce myself: I am the captain Oswald Kalt, only master on board of this ship, and appointed as the local DOOP commander of this sector.

- Well… Nice to meet you… Said Leela, a bit backed off by his cheerful tone. Are you the one who contacted us? Not personally, of course, but is it your crew which…

- Called you? Yes indeed. But you still didn’t tell me who you were…

- Mmmh? Oh, yeah… We’re just employees of Planet Express, an interplanetary delivery company. I am Turanga Leela, pilot and captain of our ship, and here are Fry, our delivery boy, and Bender, our… Well, let’s just say he’s supposed to help us on our missions.

As Leela was presenting them, Fry and Bender saluted Kalt, but they were having a hard time staying where they were and not running away to their ship. Kalt took a brief look at them. A cold chill ran through Fry’s spine; it lasted only during a fraction of second, but he could have sworn something lit up his eyes when he looked at them before fading away as quick as it came. The captain soon got back to Leela, who didn’t seem to have noticed anything.

- You’re forming quite an unusual group.

- You look quite unusual yourself, replied Leela.

- Oh, the uniform… Said Kalt, after a quick chuckle. I guess you’ve already met DOOP officers, then…

- Yeah… Some… Said Leela, who was desperately trying to get Zapp’s face out of her mind as quick as possible.

- We’re part of a special unit of the DOOP army, hence our outfits, resumed Kalt. Some particular elements in this sector have led our command to send us here and maintain a constant watch over the various activities.

- ‘Particular elements’? Said Bender. What kind?

- As you may have noticed, we’re at the edge of the universe, said Kalt. Usually, wherever the Universe ends, a strange force is making it impossible for anybody to cross the limits of our reality. But here, it seems that this force experiences some fluctuations that can lead to some strange distortions… We’re here to keep an eye on those fluctuations.

- Whoa… Said Fry, trembling. Scary.

- Do not worry, said Kalt, there is nothing to be afraid of. Just some minor magnetic perturbations, that is all. But that said, we are here for ensuring that nothing illegal is happening here. And you still didn’t tell us what exactly you are doing here. There is no inhabited world in this sector, so I guess you can understand we’re a bit surprised to see a so-called delivery company.

- Oh, yes… Said Leela. It’s a bit… Complicated. We have been sent to make a delivery in Demoniaco 666…

- The planet of the Robot-Devil worshippers? Said Kalt, obviously surprised.

- Yep, said Bender. Oh, if you go there, stay away from their coffee. It’s got some strange after-taste that is particularly annoying…

- How can this be? We’re certainly not in the usual route between this planet and Earth!

- We do know, but let me finish, continued Leela. See, on our way back, we came across a meteorite field; and the problem is that those meteorites were made of some unknown radioactive matters. And Bender here had the brilliant idea to use our positron torpedo to clear our way…

- Hey, blowing things up always helps, usually! Replied the robot.

- … Anyway, it triggered God only knows what kind of chain reaction which leaded to the creation of a wormhole in which we’ve been sucked in. And we ended up here.

Kalt scratched his chin, putting all the elements together.

- I see… This may explain the unusual particle storm we recorded a bit earlier… You’ve been unwillingly teleported, then?

- Exactly, replied Leela. And as some of our instruments have been damaged by the teleportation, we would really need some time to rest and fix everything.

- Then, you’re welcome here, lady. The Crimson Monarch and its crew will be your servants… But to be fair, I’m afraid you’ll have to stay here a bit longer.

This last sentence made Fry, Leela and Bender wince. It was so calling for trouble that they now were almost sure they should have avoided obeying Kalt’s orders…

- What? But we…

- As I told you, I am in charge of this whole sector, said Kalt. I’d like to believe you, but in my long career, I’ve already met persons who were doing their best for looking innocent and were in fact hiding their illegal activities. Don’t worry, you won’t be put in custody, but you’ll have to stay in board of this ship until I would have gathered all the information I need about your business. Sorry for being a bit suspicious, but someone of my rank is never too much, don’t you agree?

Leela was still a bit perplexed, but she slowly began to relax. After all this sounded perfectly rational, and she was sure it wouldn’t be that long…

And yet, why did she have a bad feeling about this situation?

- Oh… Yeah, you’re right… But you’re sure we won’t be bothering you?

- Not at all, my dear. It’s been a long time since we met new faces, a bit of fresh blood would surely make some good to my crew…

Fry mechanically swallowed a big gulp of his saliva.

The door behind Kalt and the officers, leading to the rest of the ship, suddenly opened up, revealing two soldiers who were wearing a similar uniform than their superiors, minus the shoulder-pads and the ranks. Their expressions were not really calling for a warm friendship…

- Of course, it also means I’ll have to take some measures for being sure you wouldn’t try to fly away from us, said Kalt. My men will guard your ship night and day, and report to me any suspicious activities they would witness.

- You… Sure don’t like farewells, do you? Asked Leela, a bit unease by the soldiers’ sinister looks.

Kalt smiled. And once again, Fry, Leela and Bender couldn’t precisely tell what was displeasing them in this smile. It sure was welcoming, but there was something in it that was implying he was hiding something…

- Let’s just say we don’t want such quality guests to slip away…

Kalt then made a gesture to the door behind him, more precisely an invitation to the three of them.

- Well, we sure don’t need to say here all day, do we? Would you mind if I make you the visit of my humble ship?

Leela frowned. It was quite unusual… Kalt was acting so politely she had difficulties to determine if he was acting or if he was indeed a real gentleman…

She quickly let those thoughts go away. What did she know of DOOP captains, anyway? The only one she met was Zapp, and he admittedly was an exception in the worst meaning of the word. What was giving her the right to be that suspicious about Kalt?

- Sure. No problem. We’re not in a hurry, anyway.

- Great! Follow me, please.

Thus said, Kalt turned feet, quickly mimicked by his subordinates, and got out of the docking bay. Fry, Leela and Bender were closely following them, as they just had no idea of how the ship was organized and didn’t want to get lost in it.

Something, however, troubled Fry a bit.

He never knew exactly what pushed into doing this, but as the door to the docking bay was closing behind him, he took a quick look to their ship.

He could have sworn that, during the split second before the doors would totally hide the docking bay from his sight, he saw the room distort.

Fry, Leela and Bender weren’t really that disoriented by the ship’s internal disposition. Just as they were expecting, the Crimson Monarch was containing long and pretty narrow corridors, all connecting to the various rooms one would expect on such a ship. Kalt explained them that, as he still had to investigate on them, he couldn’t show them everything that was in the ship (and also because, considering the size of the ship, it would take them hours), but he took them to all the locations they would need. He presented them the dining hall, which was big enough for housing hundreds of guests; the mechanics room, where they would find the tools they would need; and the rest room, if they would ever want to spend some time for relaxing.

At a first glance, you would have thought that everything was normal in the ship. But pretty quickly, Leela began to notice that something was really odd in the atmosphere of the ship. Everything was looking in a perfect state, as if the ship had just been built, and yet… It all looked old-fashioned. The guy who built the ship must have been heavily influenced by antic architecture, because many forms, designs and choice of materials were outdated long ago. Furthermore, Leela saw that some doors were locked with a retina scanning system. But it was a long time since those systems were abandoned in the DOOP ships, especially since the Longinians joined the organizations. Creatures that have about 30 eyes at the end of tentacles on the top of their heads, each one with different retina patterns, have a lot of problems with such systems just to get in their rooms…

Something was a bit strange. Now that they were exploring the ship, they were constantly running into someone, which proved them that the Crimson Monarch was indeed housing hundreds of soldiers. That was even more the case when they ended up in the dining hall, which was very crowded at the time. But it was also revealing what was making Leela suspicious: the ship was pretty silent. There wasn’t that much discussions, footsteps, sounds of machines being operated… In other words, not many noises you would expect to hear in a confined place where hundreds of people are living and working. They didn’t see that many soldiers talking to each other… Sure, they were saluting their captain when they were crossing their paths, but it was as if, left alone, they just didn’t want talk. Moreover, they didn’t look so busy… Besides walking in the corridors, Leela couldn’t see anyone of them with a clear occupation…

That was a bit preoccupying. Looking at her friends, Leela quickly understood they too were noticing that something was wrong, but couldn’t clearly say what…

- Excuse me, captain?

Kalt stopped and faced Leela. His friendly look was contrasting a lot with his subordinates’ attitude.

- Yes, captain Turanga?

- You see, our employer has the bad habit of considering us dead as soon as he doesn’t get news about us every day. And as a result to start looking for new employees. So I was thinking: as our own communicators are dead, would you mind if we use your radios to call Earth and tell them what’s going on?

Kalt stood still for a few seconds, staring at Leela. Apparently, he was carefully choosing his words, but this was enough for Leela to know what his answer would be.

- I’m afraid it won’t be possible, finally said Kalt. I think you can understand we can’t let suspects using our own material for making private calls, especially if we don’t know if they’re criminals or not.

- Uh, yeah… Said Leela, a bit taken aback by his constant politeness. But it would just be a short call, and you can have someone look over our shoulder if you’re not confident…

- I said no. It’s not a question of the length of your communication, it’s about the fact nobody is allowed to see how DOOP’s communicators work. Their default settings are the wavelength used by all the DOOP ships, and it would be too dangerous for us to have a civilian know them. Or at least, it could have a negative incidence on our work.

- But…

- I’m sorry, but this is my last word. You will have to wait that you’ve had your communicators repaired. Now enough talk. I think it is time…

Kalt froze. Despite his bearing, Leela could perfectly see that something was worrying him. The captain was apparently looking for something in her back.

- Where did your friend go?

Leela looked behind her, followed by Bender. What she saw, or more precisely who she didn’t see, made her bite her lip of anger and annoyance.

Fry wasn’t there anymore.

The young woman quietly cursed her friend. It really wasn’t the right time for going on a trip, alone and unsupervised, when you are in a gigantic ship you could get lost in, and when you weren’t sure of what the captain of said ship was planning to do of you!

- Oh, great… Said Leela. He must have seen something shiny and went to get it while we weren’t looking!

- You imbeciles! Said Kalt to his subordinates, who were now looking afraid of the captain. Couldn’t you look at him more carefully?!

- We… We were preoccupied by miss Leela’s question, staggered one of the lieutenants… We couldn’t think he would…

- I will deal with you later… And you? When was the last time you saw him? Asked Kalt to Leela and Bender.

- I don’t really know, replied the young woman. He was still with us shortly before I axed you about the communications…

- He told me he needed to make a pee, so he started looking for the bathroom, said Bender.

- What?!? Said Leela, shocked by the robot’s quiet attitude. Why didn’t you made him stay with us!?

- And then having him wet his pants while you two were busy talking about crap? No way! Do you know the time I pass on his laundry in such a case?

- That’s not the problem, Bender! We’re… Wait a second, you do his laundry?

- Yeah, I had a washing machine installed in my body. That way, he doesn’t have to go to the launderette in the middle of the night.

- Lemme guess… He pays you for this, right?

- Of course, he’s using my body! You don’t expect this to be free?

- It seems extremely fascinating, said Kalt, but we need to find him quickly. I don’t want someone like this, walking aimlessly in my ship!

- Well, he can’t be too far… Said Leela. He must have taken this corridor, over there, it’s the only one that he could have taken without being noticed by us.

Leela pointed the corridor she was talking… But when she got back at Kalt, she forgot about Fry’s escapade. The captain was openly looking worried, and it certainly wasn’t only because of the young man’s disappearance. He whispered a few words that reinforced Leela’s interrogations.

- Oh, no… Not there…

- Dammit, can’t they just put signs?

Fry was trying to restrain himself, but he really was reaching his maximum. He knew he would have gone to the bathroom before even going out of their ship, considering the stress this situation was placing him in, but as Leela ordered Bender and him to immediately follow her…

But now it was a bit late. And as he had simply no idea of where it could be, he was wandering everything, looking for an indication. Maybe he should have asked Kalt before… No, he couldn’t have worked. This guy, despite his pleasing manners, wasn’t inspiring him confidence. And he certainly didn’t want to look like an idiot for asking for such a thing…

Fry stopped. He was sure the corridor he was right was completely straight, but in fact, there was a small recess. Coming closer, he saw there was a door there…A strange looking door, in fact. The person who built it took a lot of time for making it look like it was made of wood, which was pretty useless in such an environment. But considering he also took a lot of time for “carving” a symbol on it, Fry guessed the guy must have been pretty strange to begin with… The symbol itself was making him shiver, as it was in fact the three heads of Cerberus, the left and the right ones howling and the middle one showing his fangs. The young man, although he was a bit scared, was also curious: that door was nothing like everything Kalt showed us earlier. There was… Something that was appealing him that he couldn’t describe… He knew he wanted to know what was on the other side…

Fry’s hand was about to push the button that was probably opening the door…

When someone caught it.

Fry screamed of surprise, and he screamed once again when he saw the man who stopped him. The man was apparently pretty old, considering all his wrinkles. The top of his head was also deprived of any kind of hair, but a few were falling on the back of his neck, and they were completely white. But what was really frightening was the madness that was shining in his bloodshot eyes. The man was wearing the same kind of uniform than the other privates, but his was torn at some parts, as if he was wearing it for years and never changed it.

- No! Yelled the man. Don’t go in there! This is not a place for the living!

Fry tried to get out of the old man’s grip, but the man was surprisingly strong.

- Leave me alone! Said Fry.

- Listen to me, young man! Get back to your ship, and flee as fast and far away as you can! If you and your friends ever stay here, you will be doomed! You must flee! What-Sleeps-In-Between… It’s calling us in his dreams, waiting for Its return! You can’t stay here! You…

The old man suddenly stopped. Panicked, Fry realized he could hear something… Footsteps. He knew he should have called for help, but he was also afraid of what the old man would do to him if he ever did anything. But he didn’t have to worry for long. As soon as the old man realized someone was coming in their directions, he let Fry. The delivery boy, surprised, then saw him take off the ventilation system grid and beginning to crawl in, backwards. When his head disappeared in the pipe, the old man grabbed the grid and put back in place. Fry could still hear him crawl backwards.

- Do what I said, boy: get out of here, if you want to live!

Fry stood still for a long moment, not sure if what he saw was real or not. It’s only when Leela called him that he awakened.

- Fry? Are you alright?

The young man turned to face his friends and Kalt, who was looking particularly pissed. For a second, he was about to tell them what had happened… But he crossed Kalt’s eyes, he decided to shut up. The warning the old man gave him… He didn’t know what it could have been about, but now he was wondering if the captain was somehow involved…

It looked wiser to wait for being alone with Leela and Bender to tell them everything.

- Uh… Yeah, I’m fine… Just… Couldn’t find where are…

- Did you get in this room? Said Kalt, pointing the door.

- No… Not at all… I just found this, and…

- Good, replied the captain, not letting him finish. What is beyond this door is top secret material for the DOOP, and if you ever trespass its threshold, I will be forced to take some restrictive actions against you. Have I been clear?

- Yeah… Completely clear… Never get in there…

During a few seconds stared at Fry, as if he was scrutinizing his soul to see if he was lying… But soon, he seemed to relax a bit. He was however obviously a lot tensed, but at least he wasn’t openly hostile anymore.

- Alright. Enough visits for today. You will now be lead to the rooms you will occupy.

- What? Said Bender. Hey, we’ve got our own rooms in our ships, and I’d prefer…

- What you prefer and what I order are two things that will diverge very often from now on, said Kalt, stopping Bender’s complains. I will not suffer any other kind of rebellion from your part. Have a nice sleep.

Kalt turned his feet and quickly disappeared behind a turn, letting Fry, Leela and Bender alone with the two lieutenants. The soldiers soon invited the Planet Express employees to follow them, which they did pretty quickly. Leela came closer to Fry.

- You really didn’t help us with your stunt, Fry…

- I’m sorry Leela… I didn’t want this to…

- Nevermind. I’m beginning to have suspicions about Kalt, anyway. There are some things that are beyond odd, here…

Fry said nothing, afraid that the lieutenants would hear him.

Yeah, really strange things.

- Fry?

- Yes?

- You couldn’t find the bathroom, could you?

- How did you guess?

- You wet yourself…

- Okay, I’m not sure I got everything, Fry… Could you repeat again, this time slower?

- Are you sure, big boots? Because I don’t know if I could stand all this babbling once more…

Fry took a deep breath, quickly trying to summarize everything in his head. The two lieutenants took them to their quarters a few minutes earlier, separating them. More precisely, Fry and Bender had to share the same room, while Leela got an individual room in the women quarter. It wasn’t really a big change from their situation in their own ship, the only difference being the distance between their respective rooms that was pretty much longer… As soon as Fry and Bender were left alone in their room which was really looking a lot like their own in the Planet Express ship, the young man tried to tell the robot what really happened to him, but as it was already a bit obscure in his own mind, he only managed to bore the robot in a matter of minutes. It gave the robot enough time for cleaning and drying the delivery boy’s pants, though. Pretty quickly, Leela joined them, planning for having a discussion about the strange situation they were in, but she got welcomed by Fry’s incomprehensible explanation. She quickly forced him to shut up.

- Alright, said the young man. SoIwasalllikewalking, whenthatcreepyguyjumpedonme and…

- Stop, said Leela. Calm down, slow down, and start from the beginning.

- You know, said Bender, I’m beginning to wonder if that really was sugar I poured on his donut this morning. I still have some of this strange cargo from Medellina somewhere, so maybe I mistook the bottles…

- I’m not high! Replied Fry, annoyed.

- Ah! First thing I understood from you during the last 5 minutes… Said Leela. So, what do you want to tell us?

Now speaking at a normal rate, his excitement having finally been controlled, Fry described the door and the creepy old man who jumped on him, as well as the strange warnings he gave him before vanishing away when he heard them coming. After his story, Leela spent some time adding all the elements, meditating on what it could mean. Bender, however, opened his chest cavity and got a test tube out of it. Fry looked at the tube with surprised eyes.

- What’s it for? Asked the young man.

- For having washed your disgusting pants, I know that will be a bit hard, but that would be great if you give me a urine sample, said the robot. Because after what you just said, I’m pretty sure it wasn’t sugar…

- I don’t think he was hallucinating, said Leela. We saw that door, and although we didn’t see anyone else than Fry when we got there, he didn’t enter in this room despite his curiosity… Furthermore, he was really looking dizzied when we found him.

- If I think about what was on this donut, it would be a more reasonable explanation for him looking stupid…

- Tell me, Fry, asked Leela, did he really say “this is not a place for the living”?

- Yeah, exactly! Replied the young man. That was really spooky! It was like those horror movies, or those Fox News reports, or Elizabeth Taylor’s head’s last facelift!

- What’s that crap? Said Bender. He’s expecting some corpses to get there and start a party or something?

- You’ve got to admit that, at least, something’s wrong with that door… Said Leela. Kalt forbids us to go in that room, because of some secret stuff that would be in it… But if that’s so secret, why put such a sculpture on its door? It’s the best way for having someone notice it!

- Unless it has some meaning… Ventured Fry.

- It still doesn’t make sense, replied Leela. If there’s a place where you don’t expect to see something artistic, it’s a military ship.

- Okay, I still think that’s all rubbish, said Bender, but have you taken a look at that whole ship? It’s like the ones who built it tried to make it pleasant to the eye! From the inside, at least, because from the outside it freaked me out…

- What is it with you exactly? Asked Leela, a bit annoyed by Bender’s attitude. I thought you didn’t trust Kalt and his men…

- I still don’t, but there’s a limit! Said Bender. Give Redhead a few seconds, and he will start talking about ghosts and ghouls!

- You don’t believe in supernatural? Said Fry, genuinely surprised. But you got turned into a werecar, you got kidnapped by the robot-devil…

- I never said I don’t believe in it! It’s just that you suck when it comes to ghost stories!

- Oh come on, you were trembling like a little girl last time I…

- We’re not exactly in front of a campfire right now… Said Leela, attempting to stop her friends from diverging. And that guy, what did he talk about?

- I dunno, said Fry. Some stuff about a thing that is sleeping in between…

- Between what? Asked Bender.

- I said I dunno! He wasn’t much clearer, and you came just after this. But he said that it was calling someone, and that it was waiting for its return or something…

- Wait… Said Leela, confused. Now I’ve lost track. That thing that is sleeping somewhere would be calling someone?!

- That’s what he said. I don’t get it either, but anyway, that guy wanted us to get out of this ship as fast as possible.

- And then he disappeared in the ventilation system… Said Bender.

- Yep.

- Okay, you know what? I don’t want to listen to you anymore. You’re just making a joke on us, a very bad one…

- Am not! Said Fry, genuinely shocked. Tell him, Leela!

The young woman was trying to comprehend all the elements, but that was far beyond her capacities. Sure, some parts of Fry’s story were fairly understandable, but a few others were making his whole story switch to complete fantasy. And she was way too rational for taking the warnings of an old guy who obviously had lost his mind… Assuming he was real, but considering how disturbed was Fry, she was ready to accept that the young man indeed met him.

- Leela?

She finally looked at Fry, who was still expecting her to reprimand Bender.

- Sorry, Fry, I was a bit lost in my thoughts… But I can tell you I believe in your story.

- Ahah! Said Fry, looking at the robot, exulting from his triumph.

- Alright, alright… Said Bender, admitting his defeat. So, what do we do? Get the heck out of here?

- I didn’t have to wait for Fry’s story for deciding this… No matter how strange it sounds. That guy maybe was simply mad, but Kalt is keeping something secret to us, and that whole place gives me the creeps.

- It’s not the ship itself that’s scaring me, said Fry. It’s all those guys… Have you seen the way they’re looking at us? Like they were all about to jump on us. Kalt is the only one who’s looking a bit friendly, but… I dunno why I’m that afraid of him…

- Maybe because he really don’t want us to get out of the ship? Said Bender.

- Yeah, said Fry. That, and sometimes you feel he’s not telling everything.

- Okay, it’s decided, said Leela. We must find a way out. I don’t know what’s going on here, but we’re definitely not in a real DOOP ship.

- You think they’re pirates? Asked Fry.

- Maybe, but the lack of cyber-parrots, laser hooks and titanium legs is a bit disturbing. And none of them was drinking rum. Anyway, we must reach our ship, but that won’t be easy, with those guys who are guarding it. We must find a plan for…

But just at this moment, the door to the room slid open. Leela immediately stopped talking, fearing that whoever was coming in would have heard her earlier. Turning on her feet, she immediately recognized one of the lieutenants who were always with them since Kalt welcomed them. He was looking as unpleasant as before, except that he was apparently surprised to see Leela.

- What are you doing out of your room, ma’am? Said the lieutenant.

- Nothing particular, lied Leela. I wanted to talk with my crew about the next repairs we would have to do.

- In the future, you should avoid being alone in the ship, ma’am. Most of our men haven’t seen a woman for a long time, and… Well… They may be rude…

- I know how to defend myself, said Leela.

- Yeah, exactly, said Fry. During our last Halloween party, I tried to frighten her by turning all the lights off and jumping on her. Since that moment, part of my jaw is plastic.

- That was stupid from your part, said Leela at her friend, but I still feel sorry for this, Fry… I should have recognized you before starting to punch…

- Bah, no problem, said Fry. And anyway, now I can do cool noises with my jaw! Listen!

Fry grabbed his lower jaw and began to press, shake and move some parts of it, thus making it click and creak. Everybody, even the lieutenant, looked at the young man with disgusted looks, but soon the DOOP officer remembered why he was here in the first place.

- Anyway, I wanted to tell you that the evening meal is about to be served. Your men could go to the dining hall and eat with the rest of the crew.

- Oh, said Leela. Good, we’ll… Wait, ‘your men’? I’m not dining with them?

- Indeed. Captain Kalt would like to apologize for his previous attitude toward you and your companions, so he would like to invite you to his quarters, where you would eat in private.

Leela bit her lip. That wasn’t really the most pleasant thing she could imagine and was postponing their evasion, but she knew she couldn’t refuse if she didn’t want to raise suspicion…

- Alright. But I must warn you I’ve got nothing formal to wear, out of this outfit…

- This is not a problem. The captain wants this to be a very casual dinner. Now, would you please follow me…

- And my crew?

- The dining hall is on the way to the captain’s quarters. But enough talks. It would be quite impolite to make the captain wait…

The lieutenant then made a gesture for inviting the Planet Express employees to get out of the room. The three friends looked at each other, a bit intrigued about what would happen next. Then they got out in unison. The lieutenant immediately walked away, and they soon began to follow him. Fry, however, got closer to Leela.

- What do you think he wants? Asked the young man.

- I don’t know. But I guess that will be the perfect moment to see what he’s really up to…

- Oh, I think I have an idea… Said Bender.

- Really? Said Fry. What is he going to do?

- Do you remember who’s the last DOOP officer who called her for sharing a private moment with him?

- Yeah, Zapp, but what does it have to…

Fry stopped.

- Oh.

- Yeah.

- You don’t think he’s…

- He sure is!

- Oh, man…

- Bender, said an annoyed Leela, did you really have to bring this again?

- No, but I felt like it. And this time, wait a bit before sleeping with him, okay?

- I’m NOT going to sleep with him!

- Yeah, yeah, of course you’re not…

The look Leela gave to the robot could have pierced a 5 inches thick lead plate.

- You’d better pray that we really have reasons to get out of here as fast as possible, because that way, I would be too busy for dealing with you…

- Ah, captain Turanga… Please, come in.

Kalt cleared the way for letting Leela enter. As soon as she went past the threshold, the young woman quickly understood that the DOOP captain was extremely different of Zapp… In terms of decoration and tastes in furniture, anyway. The room was a bit smaller than what she expected, but everything in it was a proof of Kalt’s well-educated way of life. It was rather sober, revealing his military past, as the walls and roof were just made of the same materials than the rest of the ship. The only difference was the wooden floor under her feet, but even this wasn’t that exuberant, as it was in the same tone than the rest of the ship. Leela could see in a corner a single bed, which was looking comfortable but was obviously just there because Kalt needed a place to sleep and decided to keep the standard DOOP bedding. In another corner was Kalt’s office, which just like the rest of the furniture was looking purely functional, but was still covered with impeccably tidy piles of paper and forms. A look at the various shelving units that were containing dozens of old books made Leela think that the captain was apparently fond of readings, although she couldn’t really see what kind of books it was. In the middle of the room, a small table for two had been placed, with the cutlery, plates and glasses prepared for the meal. A candle, placed in a candlestick, was burning, while some soft classical music was played; the very old kind of classical music, played with string instruments and piano, mainly.

Leela scowled a bit. Kalt wasn’t Zapp, it was obvious, but this situation could easily turn into some lame attempt from the captain hitting on her…

- Please pardon the mess, said Kalt, I had some important businesses to finish when you suddenly appeared…

- The mess? Said Leela. That’s the first time in years that I see such a tidy place that is not my own apartment.

- You’re flattering me… But I’m failing to my duties as a host. Do you want to have a drink before dinner?

- Depends on what you’ve got.

- Of course. Let me see…

Kalt got near a small closet and opened, revealing various bottles of different alcohols. Leela quickly noticed that all the bottles were full, and apparently not even uncorked. Kalt was certainly not a heavy drinker, unless he “filled up” just before she came…

- Brandy? Whiskey? Cognac? Korlean gin? Decapodian seaweed liquor?

- A whiskey would be great.

- You don’t mind if I join you?

Leela hesitated a bit. That was so looking like a first step before fully hitting on… But she wasn’t really in a good position for protesting.

- No, absolutely not.

Kalt got two glasses out of the closet as well as the bottle of whiskey. He posed them on a small coffee table next to the closet and opened the bottle. The captain then poured a small quantity in each glass, before holding out one of them to Leela, a friendly smile on his face. The young woman grabbed it, a bit worried of where it would lead her to. Kalt then raised his glass.

- To our meeting!

Leela said nothing, as she wasn’t really enthusiastic about this, but she politely smiled nonetheless. That seemed to be enough for Kalt, who drank his whiskey in one gulp. Leela soaked her lips in the alcohol… And immediately had the feeling someone was burning them with a blowlamp. She certainly wasn’t expecting a whiskey to be that hard, especially as it was not the first time she was drinking some. She forced herself into swallowing a little, but the taste of the drink was about as awful as it was strong… Doing her best for containing her repulsion, she immediately decided to not touch any of this during the meal, and even after. Kalt, on his part, wasn’t as destabilized as her, but he however looked at his glass, looking worried.

- I’m really sorry, Leela… Said Kalt. It looks like it went off. I drink only in great occasions, and it was a long time since such one occurred…

Leela, still shocked by the horrible drink, stood silent, but that didn’t prevent her from wondering how a whiskey can go off… The young woman suddenly heard the door behind her sliding. Turning her head, she saw one soldier, sporting the same cold expression than any of his mates, pushing a little cart with two covered dishes on it in the room. Kalt immediately clapped his hand.

- Ah, good! Congratulations for your punctuality, Ivan! I see you’ve done your best for preventing our guest from waiting!

- Thank you, captain, said the soldier, not even giving a look at Leela. You’re too good… I’m not worthy of such compliments…

- Oh please, Ivan, you know you are. (Kalt then turned to face Leela, while the soldier was disposing the dishes on the table.) I think we can begin now, dear Leela. Please take a seat.

The captain then pulled one of the seats and invited Leela to sit. This sign of gallantry would have deeply impressed the young woman if she wasn’t half-expecting this dinner to end in an unpleasant way… As she finally sat, Leela took a look at Ivan who was now leaving the room. The man never looked at one of them. Earlier, despite his words, he didn’t seem to be that moved by Kalt’s compliment either, and now that she was thinking about it, he wasn’t really faking his embarrassment too. It was as if he only said a pre-recorded message, with the same indifference an answering machine would have… The door sliding again for closing put an end to her thoughts, as well as Kalt, who during those few seconds went back to the closet where he already picked up the whiskey and now was getting back to the table, this time carrying a bottle of wine.

- Château Danleu-Péttrin… I must admit my knowledge of wine is not particularly extensive, but I still think this would get on well with our meal…

Kalt stopped, a strange expression on his face. Leela didn’t know exactly why, but seeing him in this state made her shake a bit.

- Is everything alright, miss Turanga? You look troubled…

This didn’t surprise her as much as she thought it would… I’m in an unknown ship which is supposed to be from the DOOP but really doesn’t look like it is, in a barely known sector of the universe, without any ways to contact Earth, everybody in this ship is looking at me as if they were about to murder me, the only person who doesn’t do so suspects me from being a criminal and still invites me for dinner… Plus, one of my friends asserts he was attacked by a lunatic who told him strange tales about dead things that are sleeping… Of course I’m troubled!

- Oh, there’s no problem. I’m… Just wondering if my men are treated as good as I am now…

- Ah, yes, the young man and the robot… Said Kalt, apparently becoming less tensed. You have no need to worry about them, captain Turanga. I told my men to behave themselves with your friends as if they were long companions. I’m sure they’ve already been accepted by my crew.

Fry waved his hand and smiled to one of the men who were watching Bender and him. He didn’t receive any answers. In fact, the man continued to stare him for a few seconds before going back to his meal. Puzzled and worried in the same time, Fry faced his friend. Something else was particularly disturbing. The whole room was occupied with DOOP soldiers… And yet it was extremely quiet. No discussions, only a few quantities of the sounds you expect to hear in a refectory where people are eating…

- I don’t like this one bit…

- No kidding? Replied the robot. The last time I was in such a cold assembly, it was when we had to work as night watchmen in this mortuary…

- Yeah… Talk about community work… At least we learnt that we can’t use the fireplug for filling the pool.

- Especially when the whole neighborhood is burning.

- You even tried to force the firemen to pay so that they could use it. It’s a miracle we only had general interest works to do!

- Well, what do you think? Lex is not dura, sometimes… *Cough*Especially when you bribe the judge*Cough*. Anyway how’s the food?

Fry looked at his plate. For the moment he still hadn’t eaten a lot of what was inside, but it was mainly because he wasn’t very hungry to begin with. This weighty atmosphere was spoiling his appetite, and it was even worse when he got served: he was the only one who was getting served, the rest of the men looking at him, and the cook mechanically gave him his meal without saying a single word.

- Not bad… I guess. When you forget the crispiness, the fact it’s grey, the strange walnut and mint taste and the stickyness…

- At least you don’t want to puke.

- Not really. But I now have the feeling I’ve got a breeze block in my stomach…

- Oh yeah, I know that.

Fry frowned.

- You don’t have a stomach…

- But I already carried breeze blocks in my chest cavity.

- Oh.

- And bowling balls.

- Yeah.

- Once I had to hide a whole safe in it.

- Really?

- And one day I even found an anvil in me! I couldn’t remember where I picked it up in the first place…

- Aaaaah, I was wondering where you got that big wedge, for the professor’s closet.

- He likes it?

- He’s wondering why his closet is now tilting in the opposite way it was before you repaired it, but he didn’t get why.

Fry gave another look at their neighbors. Some were still looking at them with the same hostile look, but others were just sitting on their chair, looking at their plate without even touching it. A very few numbers were actually eating, but it was apparently because they had nothing better to do. That wasn’t really helping Fry in getting relaxed.

- Man, I really hope Leela is alright. I can’t wait for leaving this place.

- I’m sure she’s alright! We’re talking about a chick who can knock me up with one punch without breaking her own fist!

- Maybe you’re right… She can defend herself… But I’m still worried…

- And I’m sure that this blockhead of a captain will let us go as soon as she will have slept with him.

- I’m not sure I wanted to hear this.

Bender posed his feet on the table, trying to get a bit more comfortable.

- You’ve heard it. You can’t unhear it.

Suddenly, the robot looked a bit insecure.

- Errr… You humans can’t take your memory backup out, right?

- No.

- Then I stand corrected.

Leela couldn’t swallow another mouthful. This food was just plain horrible. Sure, it was looking like some finely cooked roast beef with some green beans and water-cooked potatoes, completed with wine sauce… But it didn’t have the taste one would expect. As soon as it got on her tongue, Leela thought she accidentally swallowed wax and dirt. The wine wasn’t helping either: it was so sour that drinking vinegar would be extremely thirst-quenching compared to this. In front of her, Kalt was eating with appetite, as if it was a meal worthy of a king. They didn’t say a word to each other since the beginning of the dinner, but Kalt seemed to finally notice she was still here.

- Oh my… I’m so rude! Eating like some kind of barbarian, when being in such a pleasant company…

- It’s not a problem, said Leela, overcoming her nausea. I’m not accustomed to this kind of situation.

- You never have dinner face to face with a man usually? Said Kalt, frowning. I’m pretty surprised. I wasn’t expecting such confidence from a beautiful lady like you…

Leela hid her harassment. She knew it. She saw it coming one thousand miles away that Kalt would do this… In other circumstances she would immediately have made it clear that he shouldn’t hope anything would happen, but considering her situation was still unclear, she decided to act more… Diplomatically.

- Men seem to have a problem with my eye. But I was talking about the fact that I’m sharing the table of a man who is still suspecting me of illegal activities.

- Ah. I see. (Kalt posed his cutlery, put his elbows on the table and crossed his hands in front of his face, looking in Leela’s eye.) You don’t have to worry about this. Captain to captain, I had to act like an officer should and respect the procedures, but as soon as I saw you and your friends, I had the feeling you were as innocent as lambs.

- On this point, I can tell you, that you were right, said Leela who would certainly not tell him that Bender would probably not qualify as an innocent lamb.

- I already know that, dear Leela. I have a certain… Talent for knowing what lies deep inside the hearts of the people I cross.

Great. I bet that in less than 5 minutes, he’ll say he felt passion in mine.

- Really? That’s quite amazing…

- I have no merits, you know. You just have to be extremely attentive to the little twitches and tics that indicate a person’s feelings without them being aware of this. The slightest move of an eyebrow, the pupil getting wider, a hand which clenches into a fist… All this can be extremely informative. For example, in your case…

And here we go…

- … I sense that you think I’m courting you.

Leela tensed up. She definitely wasn’t expecting this.

- Beg your pardon? I never…

- Don’t lie to me, dear Leela. (Kalt was smiling at her as he was speaking… A smile that was charming, but which for no precise reasons chilled Leela’s blood.) Nobody can lie to me. Let us be clear, would you? I have absolutely no problem with your eye; it just underlines your incredible specificity and magnifies your beauty… But I have far greater plans for you and me than just some disgraceful sexual impulses.

Kalt got up and began to walk aimlessly in the room, not even looking at her… But he was still talking, and Leela noticed that the tone of his voice was changing… Something was awakening in him, and she didn’t really know if that was good or bad…

- I can also feel fear and suspicion in you, Leela… You and your friends may have noticed that this ship and my crew are pretty uncommon for DOOP materials. Maybe this is the right time for explaining some elements to you. I told you this ship had been sent here by the DOOP for studying strange phenomenon. This is in fact a bit inaccurate. We were sent as a fighting force by Earth in an attempt to search some… Important artifacts that could have helped our planet.

- What?! You mean you’re…

- Now is still not the moment for questions, my dear Leela. As we arrived here, I quickly realized the true value of what we were axed to find, something way too much important for being used merely as a weapon. I decided to take the reins of the operation, and went where no men before went. And even further.

- That’s impossible.

Kalt turned to face Leela. The captain was doing his best for looking as stiff as he could, but the young woman knew she destabilized him.

- I know it’s impossible, Leela, but I did it nonetheless, and…

- No, I mean, your sentence didn’t make sense. If you go where nobody has ever been before, and you continue, then you’re still where nobody has ever been before. It’s just a matter of logic.

- I see, said Kalt, smiling again. You’re very rational.

- I’m just logical.

- Going on… (Kalt went to his desk, and mechanically posed his hand on it.) I witnessed things that go far beyond that logic you’re revering, Leela. I embraced them. And in return, it gave me the knowledge…

Leela looked at the door, wondering if she could ever run fast enough for getting out of the room. It was now clear that Kalt was not the person he said he was at first, and now, she really didn’t want to know who he really was at all…

- What kind of knowledge?

- The ABSOLUTE knowledge. The truth about our reality. I knew what I had to do, what I was destined to. But I can’t do this alone, despite my superiority… And that’s where you and your friends enter in the game.

It was the last element Leela needed for knowing what to do. The young woman jumped out of her seat and was about to run to the door…

- DON’T MOVE!

…But at her great surprise, she couldn’t. Something was blocking her, impeaching her legs from functioning and lead her out of the room. She however managed to face Kalt. The captain was looking at her again, and this time, his smile wasn’t hiding his evil intentions anymore.

- I have great plans for your crew, for me… But especially for you, Leela. With you by my side, I will finally fulfill my task. I’m very sorry to not be able to reveal to you every parts of our destiny… But you will be the key to a major change in this universe. In fact, I’m not totally sure the Universe will be the same after this.

- Let us go, Kalt! Said Leela. I don’t know what the hell you’re talking about, but there’s no way my friends and me would be used by some megalomaniac…

Kalt began to laugh… A laugh so insane and so unexpected it stopped Leela’s thoughts.

- ‘Megalomaniac’? I admit I expect to benefit from what will inevitably happen, but believe me, I won’t be the one who will win the most in this situation.

The captain went closer to Leela. And as he walked toward her, the young woman was sure to feel a sudden cold breeze in the room. The temperature seemed to drop significantly, and at her great horror, she could have sworn the cold was coming from Kalt.

- About your request… I’m afraid you and your friends will have to stay here for a very long time. I’m sick of this little comedy, Leela, so I’ll be frank: you’ll never see Earth again. Not only because you will stay with me in this ship, but also and above all because Earth will soon be no more.

Kalt was now so close to Leela that he could have touched her. Unable to move, Leela was hypnotized by the captain’s eyes. There is an old saying that was declaring that the eyes are a window to the soul. In those eyes, Leela could read madness at its peak, a cruelty that could only have been experienced by the most dangerous maniacs history has ever conceived… And the sadist joy of having a complete control over someone. Leela desperately wanted to look away… But she was fascinated by what she was reading in Kalt’s eyes, as well as one cannot look away in front of a slaughter that occurred just in front of him.

Leela gathered her few remaining forces for articulating a few words.

- Do not touch me, you freak…

- Oh, don’t worry, my dear Leela… I need you safe and sound for the moment. But when the moment will come, you’ll be mine. (Kalt held his hand out for caressing Leela’s hair.) Only then… Will you realize that you should have used a much stronger word for qualifying me than ‘freak’…

Overwhelmed by disgust, fear and panic, Leela couldn’t even find the strength to reject Kalt’s hand when it finally touched her… But when she felt that this hand was so cold that a few locks were already frozen, something managed to put down her apathy. And she replied to Kalt’s menaces and attitude with her usual way.

Her own hand went so fast it could have provoked a sonic bang. She was expecting that slapping him would have destabilized him enough for allowing her to properly defend herself.

She wasn’t expecting his head to turn in 180 degrees because of the hit.

Stunned by what she did, Leela stayed still as Kalt’s body was now staggering backwards. She saw Kalt going where his head was now facing, even if the rest of his body was facing the complete opposite direction, making a few steps. Finally, Kalt fell to the ground, but his fall got partially stopped by the bed. His corpse lied there for a few seconds.

Leela was under the shock. She already engaged in various dogfights and was certainly responsible for the deaths of some space pirates, but it was a different matter. She couldn’t see the back of their head in the same time then their chest. She didn’t feel their flesh as she gave them the last blow. She couldn’t hear the bones of their neck suddenly snap. She never killed someone with her bare hands before. And despite her mastering of Octuran Kung-Fu, she wasn’t prepared to the idea of killing someone in hand-to-hand combat… Even if it was more like an accident, actually.

- Oh my God… Said Leela, realizing what happened. I… I killed him…

The fact he was obviously planning something horrible for Fry, Bender and her wasn’t changing the fact she took the life of someone. She was trying to find a way for justifying what happened, for trying to overcome the trauma…

When someone began to laugh.

Scared that someone, especially one of Kalt’s men, would have witnessed what she did, Leela looked everywhere around her, trying to see who was laughing. There was nobody in the room, but she was sure it was coming from the place she was. Maybe there were microphones or something, because there was apparently nobody else but her and…

Her blood froze.

She slowly turned her head for looking at Kalt’s corpse.

And she thought she was becoming insane.

Kalt was moving, his chest jumping as he was laughing.

Leela tried to scream, but no sound came out of her throat. She knew she was facing something that was defying every laws of nature, and was mocking the most basic rules of life… But the truth was in front of her: despite having his neck snapped, Kalt was still alive.

Slowly, Kalt began to stand up, still laughing. And only then, Leela realized that everything around her was changing. Rust was slowly covering the walls; the wood that was making the closets and the shelves was progressively losing its varnish and was as attacked by vermin… This phenomenon was coming from the corners of the room and was progressing to the center of the room… More precisely, where Kalt was now standing. The whole room was getting corrupted irremediably… It was as if Leela could stand in the same place during thousands of years and see time make its work in the room, except it was lasting for only a few seconds.

Kalt had finally stopped laughing. He was now still, a few feet from her. Leela saw him raise his hands and grab his head. Kalt forced it to turn, making his vertebras crack in a disgusting way, until it finally was in its correct position. The captain was still smiling, his eyes even more shining of his immeasurable madness and cruelty. He wasn’t hiding his true nature anymore: he was a being made of pure evil, irradiating the room with the cold that was filling his heart, and determined to make her suffer.

- My dear Leela…

The corruption that ravaged the room reached Kalt… And Leela saw it go back up on the captain’s body. Where clothes were were now rags, sometimes showing the flesh under them… But this flesh had an awful green tone, the color of putrefaction. Leela was so terrified by what was happening she couldn’t even try to run away.

- … You can’t kill…

The corruption was still progressing… When it reached Kalt’s chest, a large part of his uniform turned into dust, partially revealing his ribcage, and what almost made Leela vomit: his heart, shriveled, dried up, but still beating.

- … Someone who is already…

It was the turn of Kalt’s head to decompose. All his hair fell on the ground, while his skin took the same green aspect than the rest of his body… But moreover, a monstrous wound appeared on Kalt’s face, a wound that was ravaging the left side of his face, partially revealing his skull and his lower jaw. The wound extended to his left orbit… And Leela saw his eye disappear, and being replaced by a red flame. A flame that was evocating only one thing: Hell.

- … DEAD!

Kalt burst in laughter, the most terrifying laughter one could ever imagine, a laughter that didn’t sound human anymore. The kind of laughter that only the most twisted demons would ever have.

Something lit up in Leela’s mind and finally gave her the strength to act. In a split second she went to the table and grabbed one of the rusted steak knife. Doing this, she saw the true form of what Kalt and she ate during this meal, and that view made her stomach turn over, but she succeeded of putting the nausea away. She then turned to Kalt, faster than a feline, and drove her weapon in the burning eye of the undead. Just as the metal went in the flesh, Kalt’s laughter turned into a scream of pain that nearly pierced her eardrums, and the demon stepped backwards, trying to take the knife off.

Leela knew it was her only chance of getting out of the room alive. Turning on her feet, she immediately sprinted to the exit. As she hoped, the rusted door didn’t resist to her first kick, and she quickly was out. Looking around, she realized the corruption had expanded to the rest of the ship, but now wasn’t the moment of examine its general state. She took to the right and began to run, trying to get as much distance as she can between Kalt and her.

It didn’t take that long to Kalt for putting the knife out of his eye. Briefly extinguished by the metal, the flame was already burning again, and the pain vanished as fast as it came. Slowly, Kalt got in the corridor. As he expected, Leela was already out of sight.

Kalt smiled. Finding his preys… It was his favorite part.

- Let the hunt begin.

- I don’t like this, Bender! I really don’t like this at all!

As soon as his best friend started to talk, the robot had a sudden urge to slap him in the face. It was approximately the tenth time in a row he was saying this, and Bender was already far too anxious for having to stand something that annoying.

- Can’t you just shut up, Fry? I heard you the first time, dammit!

- But I don’t like this!

- Neither do I, but do I keep on bitching you with this? No!

- But… But… Look at them!

As if the robot didn’t notice anything… Until then, a few men were watching them intensely, before going back at their activities. But since the last minutes, something changed in the atmosphere. And now, nobody was doing anything else but staring at the two of them. Hundreds of eyes were now locked on them, and it certainly one of the most disturbing experience the robot ever lived. Sure, he always wanted people to notice him, but not in such a way. Especially when it was looking like they were about to jump on them and to rip his processors out.

- Don’t look at them, Fry. Maybe they’ll do the same.

- How would I do this? They’re everywhere around us!

- Then look at the roof, you idiot! And play the innocent guy, it helped me numerous times after I did something that wasn’t completely appreciated by society!

- Really?

- Yeah. Of course, it works best if you’re 10 miles away from the place it happened, but that may just be a coincidence. Come on, do the same thing as me!

No sooner said than done, Bender was now looking at the roof as if it was the most captivating thing in the universe, while tapping on the table and whistling an indescribable tune as innocently as he could. The young man looked around them: it didn’t seem to change anything in the crew’s attitude. But maybe it was because it would work only if they were two to do it… Fry finally decided to imitate his friend and began to look at the roof and to whistle, also twiddling his thumbs. He did this for a few seconds, before taking a quick look at the others. That really didn’t seem to work at all…

- Na na na na na don’tlooknowFry na na na na na giveitalittletime na na na na…

The young man obeyed to Bender’s advice and went back to his previous innocent attitude. This situation was really killing his nerves…

But something broke his concentration.

The room was changing.

As soon as he noticed this, Fry stopped to whistle and looked at what was happening, troubled. Bender soon noticed his friend’s attitude and, out of curiosity, looked in the same direction than him. What he saw made him gasp.

Some sort of strange energy wave was running through the room, and as soon as something was touched by it, it was transformed… More precisely, everything touched by the wave seemed to age of a few centuries in the matter of a few seconds. In some way, it was as if rust and moist could run all over the place… But more importantly, it was coming in their direction, and as he saw what was happening to the metal that was touched by the wave, Bender suddenly panicked when he realized what it could do to him.

- HOLY…

In the very moment Bender said this word, the wave hit them head-on. For a few terrifying seconds could swear he could feel his body turn into dust and disintegrate, but it didn’t last for long: he quickly understood nothing happened to him at all, and he was as gorgeous as he could imagine. Of course, he lost some dignity as he shouted a high-pitched scream when the wave hit them, but at least, he could still go out in bars and hit on all the fembots he’d meet without being called a freak. That thought alone made him sigh of relief.

- Oh man, for a second I thought I would need to call Extreme Makeover after this! I wonder what happened exactly, you have an idea, Fry?

The young man didn’t answer to the robot. In fact, he was simply staying still with bulging eyes, shaking like a leaf in the autumn wind and his mouth wide open as he was trying to articulate.

- Fry? Hey, what’s happening to you, buddy, did the cat get your…

Bender stopped.

He could see what was happening behind Fry.

Looking in the same direction than his friend, he realized it was happening all around them.

All the men and robots that were staring at them a few seconds ago had gone under the same type of transformation than the room. Bender and Fry were surrounded by hundreds of rotting, walking corpses, wearing torn outfits for the organics or being completely rusted for the robots, some even lacking limbs.

And they were all looking at them, and were now beginning to walk to them.

Bender screamed as he never screamed before during his whole life, to the point that his vocal processor nearly self-destructed because of the overload. The robot’s scream managed to break Fry’s stupefaction, and the young man joined him by shrieking like one of those actresses in the horror movies. It wasn’t really helping them, but at least there was some animation in the refectory… But as the undead army was coming closer, Bender turned and faced his friend.

- On my back! For HAL 9000’s sake, Fry, stop screaming and get on my back!

- What? Where? Who? When?

- You want to stay here and have those guys eat your brain? Do it, now!

Panicking, Fry didn’t bother asking Bender what he was planning to do. The young man jumped on his friend’s back… And as his arms were winding around the robot’s arms, Bender suddenly extended his legs. In only a second, Fry was now something like 5 meters above the ground, doing his best for not falling. Bender grabbed his legs, which really helped him.

- Hang on, Fry, I’ll get us out of here!

Bender finally started to move forward, lifting his legs as high as he could and trying to get as far as possible at each one of his steps. Apparently, the undead creatures weren’t expecting such a move, and it took them some precious seconds for reacting. During those moments, Bender kept on moving forward, striding over the zombies, and getting pretty quickly to the exit. The robot even managed to knock some of the creatures, as he accidentally kicked some of them in the process. By some extraordinary luck, none of them managed to make Bender trip, and in only a few seconds, the robot and his friend got to the exit of the room. As the door was way too low for allowing them to go on in this manner, Bender retracted his legs as fast as he extended them in the first place, and Fry finally touched ground again. Looking behind him, he quickly noticed that the undead were finally reacting to their escape, and were now heading in their direction.

- Quick! The door!

Fry followed his friend without further ado. As Bender smashed in the door to the way out with his shoulder, the young man was now running the fastest he could. He still had no idea where he should run, but one thing was sure: it would be far away from them.

But after a few meters, Fry crashed into Bender who had stopped in the middle of the corridor without a warning. His nose was now hurting him like hell, but he’d surely wait a bit before looking if it was broken.

- What are you doing, Bender?! Run!!! They’re getting…

But Fry finally saw what the problem was. In front of them, other undead creatures were coming… Fry could see their furious looks, and that was certainly not reinsuring him about their intentions. He also realized how dramatic the situation: no escapes, not enough space for doing the same stunt than before… It wasn’t looking good…

- Oh crap! What are we going to do?!?

Bender didn’t answer to him… But he suddenly grabbed him, lifted him and held him horizontally, parallel to the ground, his head in the front.

- Bender?! What the…

- Ram!

- What? I don’t…

Fry finally understood.

- No, Bender! Wait! I’m sure we…

But Bender wasn’t listening anymore. He suddenly ran in the direction of the zombies, screaming like a mad man. Fry was screaming as well, but for obviously different reasons… The ghost soldiers were surprised by this move, however, and none of them was prepared for this. Bender and Fry made an opening in which they jumped in, as the shock threw several of the zombies on the ground. The two friends weren’t slowed down however, and Bender even stomped some of them as he was still running. For the moment, they managed to shake off their aggressors, but Bender was still running as fast as he could.

- See, Fry? Always trust me!

The young man couldn’t really answer… As his head sustained most of the impact. In fact it was a miracle he wasn’t unconscious…

- Nnnh…

- You’ll thank me later, when we’ll be out of trouble!

Bender kept the rest for himself.

If we ever get out of trouble, because I have absolutely no idea of what to do now!

Her legs were beginning to be painful, but Leela was still not slowing down. She wasn’t sure she was far enough from Kalt, and she would certainly never stop running before she could have gone out of this nightmare. One thing was certain, and that probably helped her from not being taken: she knew she wasn’t dreaming. The ship was apparently in the same state of decomposition than its captain, as all the corridors were covered with rust, all the running canalizations were in an extremely bad shape and were letting some steam and water go… And the first time she met one of Kalt’s soldier, she knew as well that the whole crew was composed of undead and hostile creatures. Which was explaining their previous behavior, but was increasing the difficulties as it also meant she didn’t have to take care of one ghoul, but of hundreds of them.

At least they were particularly weak and weren’t a match for her when they were in small groups. Her Kung-fu skills combined with her strength seemed to be devastating on their rotting bodies… But unfortunately, it wasn’t definitely killing them. She could tear several of their limbs around, but they were still moving after this.

And as if it wasn’t enough, she couldn’t recognize the way… Her objective was to find Fry and Bender and to get to their ship, but she realized after a few minutes that she didn’t know where she was running. In fact, she couldn’t tell exactly where she would have to run… And she needed a few more minutes to finally understand what happened.

Not only had the ship brutally aged, but its internal disposition had also changed drastically. There were now corridors where there weren’t a few hours ago, other ways were now blocked, rooms had appeared from nowhere… The whole ship turned into a gigantic maze. And she had absolutely no idea of what she could do for finding her way…

Footsteps.

Leela flattened against the wall. She was just at a corner, and from beyond the point where the corridor was turning, she could hear some people run in her direction. Leela looked behind her: no place to hide, and at the speed they were running, they would see her before she could even disappear after a turn she took some minutes. That could mean only one thing: if she couldn’t avoid them, then she’d fight them. She couldn’t see who it could be, but they couldn’t see her as well. The only difference was that she knew they were here. She could at least plan an ambush.

She waited a little bit, preparing to hit at the speed of light. Whoever it was, they were coming closer… Closer… Leela tensed a little more. A few more seconds, and they would be at her reach… The noise they were making was getting louder and louder… It was only a matter of a few meters now… A little bit more…

Now!

Leela jumped out of her hiding place and got in front of the people. At first, her brain managed to record the fact they were two, but it was a bit late for analyzing the situation, and she propelled her fist to the closest one of the two…

It’s only when she felt that her victim was a bit less fragile than the other undead that she understood she should have waited before punching.

And it got confirmed when she saw Fry collapse on the floor, knocked out good by the young woman’s attack.

And the scream of terror that she heard at this moment was without a doubt due to Bender’s surprise.

Shocked by what she just did, Leela stood a few seconds completely still, her fist still raised and with a dumb look on her face. Fry wasn’t looking good at all, but as for Bender, the robot finally realized who it was.

- Dammit, big boots, you scared the crap out of me!

- Fry?! Bender?!? Oh my God, I’m sorry! I thought it was one of those creatures!

- Well, I’m always the first one when you need to say he’s kinda ugly, but for the moment he’s not losing entire pieces of his body! Said Bender.

- Fry? Come on, answer to me! Are you alright?!

The young man wasn’t unconscious, but it looked like the shock disconnected the few neurons that were still active in his brain.

- 1000 bottles of beer on a wall, take one out, drink it up, 999 bottles of beer on a wall…

- Okay, if he’s going to do all the song, I’ll have to take measures… Said Bender.

- Don’t you think we’ve got bigger problems right now? (Leela grabbed Fry by his shoulders and forced him to sit, before beginning to shake him for making him gain back his senses.) Come on, Fry, wake up! It’s not the moment for taking a nap! Oh man, it’s Halloween all over again!

It wasn’t long before some traces of intelligence finally reappeared in Fry’s eyes. When she got sure that her friend was finally fully recovered, she let him go and backed off a bit, one kneel on the ground. Fry rubbed his head, still suffering from a headache, and looked at his friends with a broad smile.

- Oh, hello Leela! Hello Bender! I had the weirdest dream of my life! We were getting in a ship that was in fact populated by hideous zombies who were chasing us, and we were running away before…

- Not a dream, meatbag…

- What? Said Fry, now surprised.

- He’s right, said Leela. This is really happening.

- Oh come on, stop kidding me! Said Fry, unconvinced. If it was really true, the whole ship would look old, and rusted, and wet, and… There… Would…

Fry’s face collapsed as he finally noted that the walls around them were indeed in the state of decomposition he was describing.

- Oh crud! I’m still dreaming!

- You’re not, and don’t ask me to hit you for making you understand this, said Leela. I already did enough damage.

- You couldn’t make him uglier than he already was, anyway, said Bender. So, what are you doing here exactly?

- What do you think I was doing?! Said Leela. I was trying to escape from Kalt!

- Right, I remember… Said Fry. Guess he’s not as charming as he was looking at first sight, hey?

- Yeah. To give you an idea, I would kill for being on board of the Nimbus with Zapp right now!

- Well, you can always say he’s done another feat… Said Bender.

- Which one? Asked Leela.

- He’s the first DOOP captain you didn’t sleep with!

Since the ship’s transformation, it was really cold in the corridors, as if winter itself decided to take its quarters in the Crimson Monarch. But Bender had the feeling the temperature dropped a few more degrees.

- Wrong moment?

- Yeah, answered Leela, who was now considering abandoning the robot in the doomed ship.

- That was low, even for you, said an angry Fry.

- Hey, if we’re going to die, at least I’d like to have some fun before kicking the bucket!

- Now let’s just try to get out of here alive… Said Leela. So that I’ll be the one who’ll kill you, Bender…

- Pfah!

- I guess you two know for the real nature of the crew, anyway. Did you know where you were running?

- Absolutely not! Said Fry. We just thought it would be a bad idea to stay in the same place more than 2 seconds!

- Running right in a trap isn’t better…

- I know, but although we were running for our lives, I was also trying to find you! I thought that you may be in danger, with you being left alone with Kalt…

- Awww, that’s sweet, Fry, said Leela, truly touched by this feeling. But you know I can handle myself…

- Yeah, but we don’t face zombies everyday!

- Oh yeah? Said Bender. And what about this trip to Catacombia?

- Catacombia is a horror theme park planet, Bender, replied Leela. Those weren’t zombies, but actors. You weren’t supposed to throw grenades at them!

- Really? Bah, it was fun. And I wasn’t trying to find you, by the way, I was just following Fry.

- Do you really want me to kill you, Bender?

The robot was about to say another one of his disdainful remarks, but suddenly, the three of them had other more problems to deal with. Because at this moment, sounds of chasing and running could be heard. And when you added the moaning and growls, it was extremely easy to know who was coming.

- Looks like they’re the ones who’ll do this!

Fry and Leela finally got up on their feet, and, pushed by fear, wanted to run to the opposite direction, where Leela was coming from… But the small group stopped after a few steps. They finally realized that the sounds weren’t coming from only one side, but from both. Leela cursed when she understood they were surrounded, and would be caught in a few seconds, as there were no way out.

- Crap! Said Bender.

- What do we do?! Screamed Fry. Leela, do something! Take us out of here!

- Stop yelling in my ears, Fry! Replied Leela, both angry and anxious. We don’t have many choices left! I guess we’ll have to fight!

- Fight!? Replied Bender. No flurking way! I wouldn’t touch one of those things even for one thousand bucks!

- They’re not that tough, said Leela. We might have a slight chance to get out of this…

- Unless they’re hundreds! Said Fry.

- They can’t attack all at the same time… We’ll just have to…

KLANG!!!

The three friends jumped to the roof when they heard a loud metallic sound, just behind them. When Leela’s heart finally began to beat again, she looked at what could have provoked it… And she saw that a grid of the ventilation system she didn’t notice until this moment fell on the ground. Which was now making a hole big enough for allowing anyone of them to go in, as long as they would crawl.

It didn’t take her too long for realizing what it was meaning. She turned and faced her friends, still shocked by the surprise.

- Quick! In there!

Fry and Bender looked at the grid, then at Leela, then at the grid again… And they suddenly jumped to it at the same time. As the small hole was way too small for allowing them to enter together, the robot and the young man began to fight each other like little kids for being the first one. Leela stood a few seconds above them, looking at them with a mix of fear, tiredness and anger, before deciding between them. She separated her two co-workers, and shoved Fry, then Bender in the hole, not without kicking them in the ass for making them go faster.

- Ouch! Can’t you just be polite, big boots?! Said the robot.

- Hey, careful with this antenna of yours, Bender! Said Fry. You’re about to stick it right in my…

- Will you two shut up and move, dammit? Said Leela. And be quiet, or they’ll spot us!

Leela could hear the robot grumble, but at least, she could now get in the ventilation system too. She entered the legs first and began to crawl backward, as a few seconds later, when she was deep enough in the ventilation system, she took the grid and managed to put it back in place for making their trail disappear. Then, she went a bit forward, to bring the most distance she could between her and the entrance of the conduct. She would try to turn around later… For the moment, she could hear the creatures come closer to their previous location… And after a few more seconds, the light coming from the corridor disappeared, blocked by the body of some of the zombies. The trio continued to move forward, turning at a junction, in complete darkness, as they were too afraid that their pursuers might notice them if they would ever light up a flashlight…

Fry, Leela and Bender moved aimlessly in the ventilation system, trying to avoid getting to an exit too soon and end up in some trap the creatures could have prepared for them. At least, as it seemed that they couldn’t be seen anymore, Bender took a flashlight out of his chest cavity and gave it to Fry who lit it up. Now, they knew what was ahead of them and wouldn’t risk falling in some hole leading to the depths of the ship. Surprisingly, the conducts were in a better shape than the rest of the ship, which was another thing that was easing their escape…

Of course it would have been even more useful if they had the slightest idea where they were going…

After some long minutes which could have been hours, the trio arrived to a larger empty space, where they could get up and walk normally. Several conducts were starting from this room, so the group immediately understood it was some sort of cross junction in the vast ventilation network of the Crimson Monarch.

- Can we stop a little bit? Asked Bender. I’m sick of crawling… I need to stretch out my limbs!

- Yeah, me too… Said Fry. My knees are all painful… I’m sure I’ve got a two inches thick hard skin there now!

- Sounds like a good idea, replied Leela. I don’t think they’ve discovered where we are, and we can’t always move forward without knowing where we’re going anyway…

Fry and Bender gleefully stood up in the room and stretched their arms and legs, happy to finally have a break. Leela had to admit she needed this too… In fact, she was finally beginning to feel tired with all this running, fighting and crawling. But it wasn’t the right moment for taking a nap… She would certainly not be able to close her eye before they would be completely safe anyway.

- Aaaah, feels good! Said Fry.

- Reddie Locks has a point! Said Bender. It’s moments like that that makes you happy to be able to turn off your pain sensors!

- I need some like this! Now, it’s not that I want to get in one of those conducts immediately, but where do you think we should go, Leela?

The young woman looked at the various ways they could get. Fry’s flashlight was barely lighting everything around them, but she could still count at least six conducts. And of course, nobody had the idea to place little signs indicating where they could lead.

- I have no idea, Fry… We must be in some kind of general intersection, but from this point, it’s hard to tell where we should go. I can’t tell you if we have to take this conduct or this one for getting to the docking bays.

- Or even if one of them leads to the docking bay, said Bender. Just great. We’ll wander in this maze for days before getting an idea of where we are…

- I don’t want to spend days in here! Said Fry, getting worried.

- Stop scaring him, Bender! Said an angered Leela. I want everybody here to stay as rational as he could. Panicking will only complicate the situation.

- ‘Rational’?! Said the robot. We’re in the entrails of a ghost ship, chased by hundreds of undead blokes, and you’re talking about being ‘rational’!?

- Uh, yeah… (Leela was a bit taken aback by Bender’s rant. Which was, as she realized after a second thought, pretty justified.) I mean, we mustn’t lose our head, alright? First, we get out of here alive, and then we will think of what the heck is going on.

- Yeah, dead people are supposed to stay dead! Said Fry. And not trying to look alive for tricking normal guys. That’s totally unfair! How can you put your zombie plan into practice when the zombies are cheating?

- Zombie plan? Said Bender. You’ve got a zombie plan? Why don’t you use it?

- Because I have nothing prepared for this case! I never thought I would have to face zombies in a spaceship in the middle of nowhere when I made it!

- We’re not in the middle of nowhere, we’re at the edge of the Universe…

- Oh, because it should help me?

- Quit it, you two! Yelled Leela. Dammit, can you spend more than two minutes concentrating on something?!

- Of course I can! Said Fry. Wait, what were we talking about, already?

Leela’s anger immediately got replaced by weariness. She was so tired she couldn’t ever bother Fry’s attitude.

- Moving on… I don’t think we should stay in those conducts too long either. It won’t be long before they start looking for us in here. That is, if they’ve got some brains…

- They haven’t. But Kalt has.

Fry, Leela and Bender’s eyes suddenly opened wide.

It wasn’t one of them who said this last sentence.

The trio looked at the direction where the voice came. It was way too dark to really see something, but they could still make a form out in the shadows… A moving form…

Fry slowly moved the light beam.

And they screamed in unison.

There, in the room, was standing one of the zombies. This one was particularly devastated by the decomposition of his body, and the very few scraps of clothes he was still wearing couldn’t really hide his undead nature.

- They found us! Screamed Leela. Get back to the conduct, quick!

Fry and Bender didn’t even wait for the order, as they rushed on the nearest exit as soon as Leela started her second sentence. And just like before, when they were chased in the corridor, they were fighting for knowing who would go first. Leela went to force them to go in the ventilation system again, this time too scared for being mad at them.

- No, wait! I’m a friend! I won’t hurt you!

Something in the tone of the creature made Leela stop. Her survival instinct was telling her to get out as quick as possible (more precisely, it was screaming at her rational mind with a megaphone and was using much less polite words), but a little part of her brain which functioning wasn’t completely disturbed by the terror noticed some distress in the words of the undead. She turned round, still afraid, but wondering what would happen. She couldn’t see perfectly what was going on, as Fry still had the flashlight and wasn’t using it properly as he was fighting with Bender, but the creature was still at the same place, and wasn’t doing a single move for catching them.

Her own voice was hoarse, but she managed to pronounce intelligible words.

- Why should I believe you?

- Because I’m the one who opened the grid to the ventilation network you used, replied the creature. Trust me, I’m not with Kalt and his men. I’m in the same physical state than them, but I’ve done nothing for this.

- What do you mean, exactly? I don’t understand a word you’re saying…

- I will explain everything to you… But can you please ask your friends to stop fighting? They’ll only manage to catch one of your pursuers’ attention…

Leela looked at her friends. They were still punching themselves, pushing each other and rolling on the floor, each one trying to be the first to get out of the room through the air conduct. The young woman grabbed them and forced them to stand up, separating them. For a moment, she had the feeling she was a kindergarten teacher dealing with two toddlers who were quarrelling for getting the same crayon.

- Calm down you two! Said Leela. Everything is alright for the moment…

- Yeah? Said Bender. Well I still see a walking corpse just there!

- Lemme go, Leela, lemme go! Said a panicked Fry. I don’t want him to eat my brain!

- Why not? Said the robot. It would slow him down, and you don’t need it anyway!

- I don’t eat brains! Said the creature. In fact, I don’t need to eat at all. And once again: I’m your friend! I want to help you getting out of this ship as fast as possible!

Finally, it seemed that the young man and the robot were finally calming down. They were still fidgeting a bit and trying to get out of Leela’s grasp, but they weren’t putting as much heart in it as before.

- Really? Asked Fry.

- Yes. If it wasn’t for me, you wouldn’t have managed to get in those conducts… I’ve weakened the grid’s seals, allowing you to get in them.

- What? Said Bender. But we didn’t see you when we got in those conducts…

- I used a basic spell from where I was…

- A what?! Said Leela. Listen, if you really want us to trust you, you’d better be clearer!

The creature sighed, and for a moment, Fry thought it would collapse in tears.

- Alright… I should as well begin by presenting myself. My name is Tyron… I was the second-in-command of the Crimson Monarch, before Kalt completely lost his sanity.

- Oh… Glad to meet you… I guess… (Said Leela. She then pointed at her friends, before pointing herself.) This is Fry and Bender. You can call me Leela.

- Leela… Good, said the creature. I’ve already met your friend here, but I didn’t know his name at the time.

- What? Said Fry. What do you mean you met me?

Fry directly pointed his flashlight to the creature, this time really paying attention to its appearance. And now that he was really thinking about this, something in its shape was reminding him…

He suddenly realized who Tyron was.

- Hey, you’re the creepy old guy who scared the crap out of me!

- Yes, exactly, said Tyron. I hoped you would have listened to me back then…

- Er, you know, it’s hard trusting someone who comes out of nowhere and talks nonsense.

- I see what you mean… I should have tried to explain to you everything, but unfortunately, I didn’t have time. My bad. I should have tried another approach. Oh, and it’s not nonsense, you just couldn’t figure it out.

- Listen, Tyron, said Leela, I’m perfectly aware we shouldn’t stay too long in this ship, but… What the hell is going on here?! A ship that looks perfectly normal which turns into a wreck in a matter of seconds, walking corpses, and a few seconds ago you were taking about magic!

Tyron seemed to think a little bit, his dead eyes staring at Leela. After a few seconds he finally came to a conclusion.

- Alright. After all you’ve got the right to know what you’ve got to face…

Fry, Leela and Bender were sitting on the floor, facing Tyron who was still standing up. The young man had posed his flashlight on his side, lighting the undead, and was concentrating on what Tyron was about to tell them, just as his colleagues. Tyron cleared his throat before beginning his tale.

- Everything began more than 200 years ago…

- 200 years?! Said Bender. Well, that explains why everything looks outdated in here!

- Shush, Bender! Said an annoyed Leela. Let him speak!

- Thank you Leela, said Tyron, a bit disturbed by the robot’s interruption. After many years in the DOOP fleet, I got transferred in this ship after my previous commander died in a battle. This is how I met the captain Kalt. I quickly understood he was one fine authoritarian son of a bitch, always turning his orders as if they were coming from God himself, but it didn’t prevent me from admitting he was quite a competent officer, probably the most competent I had ever met, and also a very well-educated man. It took some time before we finally got a mission, so he and I had plenty of time for getting to know each other. And after a few talks together, he gradually started to tell me about his passion for the occult. It dated back to his studies in the military academy, where he learnt the existence of some dark secret tomes, written millennia ago by half-mad people who are supposed to have been contacted by unknown beings living in a dimension far out of our reach. As time went by, he became more and more convinced that all those stories weren’t just fairytales and were in fact based on a truth that had been hidden from mankind by superior civilizations who were dominating Earth before the apes learnt to stand on their feet. In fact, he even told me that those creatures managed to pierce the secret for altering reality itself – a phenomenon the ancients called “magic”. Of course, at first, I didn’t believe him, but after a few days, he showed me some of the ancient tomes he found which were revealing all those secrets. He never told me how he found them, but I had to admit those books weren’t looking like counterfeits; all of them were centuries old, and it was a miracle they were still in one piece. But he quickly explained that some of them were in fact copies of more ancient books, sometimes translations of them, which would also mean that some elements of the truth they were revealing had been altered. I had a lot more problem believing, however, that the original versions of some of them were dating back to ancient alien civilizations…

- Er, why exactly? Asked Leela. We do know about the existence of alien creatures for a long time now… Even at your era, the DOOP had existed for centuries…

- Yes, I know… But he was talking about civilizations that were so old that they disappeared far beyond the beginning of history, none of them being known today. Some of those books were even talking about creatures which colonized Earth millions of years before the birth of mankind. I guess you can have an idea of how I felt at the moment… I thought all this was just some folklore that was however letting a deep impression on my superior.

- But… You changed my mind pretty quickly, I guess?

Tyron looked at Leela. It looked like remembering all this was a harassing task for him.

- Not really… But I had the surprise to discover that Kalt wasn’t the only one in the DOOP to believe in those things. In fact, a special secret service had been created for investigating any signs of occult activities, and Kalt was a major actor of this service. He gave me access to their files… And I had the surprise to realize that many of Kalt’s activities were revolving about the observation of secret cults that were revering indescribable entities, foreign not only to Earth, but also to the entire Universe. That’s when I heard about What-Sleeps-In-Between for the first time.

- Hey, I remember this! Said Fry. You warned me about it when you jumped on me!

- Yeah, what’s this crap about? Said Bender. What’s that lazy thing you’re babbling about?

- I see you don’t know what patience means… Said Tyron. But it’s alright. What-Sleeps-In-Between is one of the most important of those entities I was talking about, perhaps their master. The various writings are sometimes contradictory. Anyway, you do know about the other Universe, right?

- Yeah, replied Bender. I can’t stand their cowboy hats.

- Then you certainly know there’s a space between them, through which we can look at the other universe, but we can’t get in.

- Uhuh, said Leela. What does it have to do with it?

- Everything. The two universes are contained in another one, much wider and bigger… But also governed by different laws of physics, completely impossible to imagine for us as it’s completely stranger to our conceptions and senses.

- Wha? Said Fry, completely lost.

- Take a bubble in a glass of water, for example. The water and the air contained in the bubble are two completely different environments, right? It’s the same with the various universes. The two we know are the bubbles, and the space between them…

- … Is in fact another one with different rules, said Leela. Got it.

- It doesn’t end here. This unknown space is populated with various creatures… And as the rules of physics that governed their creation are different, they’re gifted with capacities we cannot imagine, making them god-like creatures in our sphere. And What-Sleeps-In-Between is one of them… A monstrosity with unlimited power, completely foreign to the concepts of good and evil or even sanity, and largely indifferent about the fate of the native creatures of this universe which are nothing but mere ants to its eyes… Or what is the closest for it to eyes anyway.

- Wow… Said Fry. Doesn’t sound like a nice guy…

- It’s an understatement, young man. This creature considers this universe as being his toy. Should he ever manage to get its hands on it… And the universe would fall into an endless era of madness and destruction, dooming any life forms into oblivion as they would fall in the darkest pits of insanity. In fact, nothing in this universe is strong enough for keeping it away from us.

- Okay… This is getting far beyond my tolerance for mystical gibberish… Said Leela.

- I know how you feel, said Tyron. I was exactly like you during my living. But some elements forced me to change my feelings.

- Wait… Said Fry. If that thing is so powerful, what’s keeping it from taking this world? Last time I checked, the entire universe wasn’t just filled with loony bins…

- Boy, do you think before talking sometimes? Said Bender. It already is!

- I mean, not to such the extent he’s talking about…

- Tell me young man, said Tyron, what is the name of that creature again?

- What-Sleeps-In-Between, why are you…

Fry finally got it.

- Ooooooh…

- Exactly. Nobody knows why, but that creature went into a deep sleep millions of years ago. We’re lucky its sleep can last billions of years… But it doesn’t make it less dangerous. While sleeping, it’s still dreaming, and even in this state it can somehow interact with this world.

- What? Said Leela. You’re completely losing me on this one!

- I said this creature obeys to extremely different rules and has god-like powers. That’s how it can affect our reality without being active. Now you’ve got an idea of this thing, I hope.

- Yeah, pretty much, said Bender. Now, what’s the point of talking about it?

- Because this beast is in the center of our troubles, said Tyron. But let me finish. So, Kalt and I were appointed to look at those cults… And more precisely to see if anything in their possession could help the DOOP. In my time, the Omicronians were threatening the entire universe of going to war, so our leaders thought that any weapons, including black magic, could be useful against them. And one day, Kalt managed to contact the leader of a cult dedicated to What-Sleeps-In-Between.

- What?! Said Bender. There are lunatics who are worshipping a big evil thing that wants to eat us all?

- Yes. As I said, despite being asleep, this creature can still interact with this world. It invaded some people in their dreams and pushed them into forming a cult dedicated to it. Kalt went at a meeting with this leader, alone and making the man believe he wished to join the cult. He killed him during the meeting, but not without having gained some valuable information. And having changed drastically…

- What do you mean? Asked Fry.

- From this moment, Kalt became stranger than before, completely obsessed with his missions… And also a lot more frightening. He always was rude, but after this, it was as if he couldn’t care about humanity anymore, or feel anything. But he quickly described what happened during the meeting, and I understood that the Kalt I knew was gone for good.

- Oh that’s getting good! Said Bender. Go on.

At this time, Tyron sighed and rubbed his eyes. He was really looking exhausted, and Fry began to think they were asking too much for a corpse to handle. He began to think that they…

- I would go on, if you would STOP INTERRUPTING ME EVERY FIVE SECONDS!!!

Bender backed off, as he wasn’t expecting this burst of anger one bit. Leela was still neutral. In fact, she knew perfectly what Tyron was thinking. She had experienced the robot and the young man enough for having an idea about how he was feeling.

- Alright, alright, I’ll shut up, said the robot after a moment.

- Good, said Tyron, relaxing a bit, but still looking at Bender with angry eyes. Where was I?

- Kalt’s meeting with that cult leader… Said Leela.

- Ah, right. Before he killed him, Kalt made the priest talk about a mystical library, hidden on a planet not so far away from here, and which was revealing the entire knowledge of an ancient race which disappeared eons ago. Apparently, this people deliberately colonized a planet which was located next to a ripple in the force field which prevents our Universe to merge with the Space behind it. They were guarding it, in fact, as it would be the place where What-Sleeps-In-Between would manage to get in our Universe, and as they realized they were doomed to disappear, concealed their souls and their entire mystical knowledge in there so that anyone who would take their succession as guardians of the border would have the weapons for fighting against it. The cult couldn’t have access to it because all their members’ bodies were tainted by the mark of the creature, and there was some kind of self-defense system in activation in the planet that was preventing them to put a foot on the planet’s soil. This library, however, represents a knowledge far greater than any human would ever learn about the mystical arts, and would represent a magnificent source of power for the DOOP in their potential war against the Omicronians, so as soon as Kalt made his report, our superior gave us the order to find the library and to retrieve the sacred tomes to Earth. But that’s not what changed him…

Bender was about to ask Tyron what did… But luckily he stopped before he activated his voice unit.

- … The cult leader made him enter in contact with What-Sleeps-In-Between.

This sure made Fry, Leela and Bender react.

- Wait a second… Said Leela. He talked with this creature?!

- Not really. The ritual induced the ingestion of various drugs and some sort of sacrifice, and in the end, Kalt’s astral form got transported to the spiritual realm, where the soul of What-Sleeps-In-Between relies. Kalt didn’t really see it, because of some mystical fog which was covering the beast’s form, but he could see how powerful and immense it was… And he had a glimpse of its true form. What he saw was so beyond any kind of imagination that his soul nearly exploded after this revelation. But I quickly guessed it however was enough for shattering his sanity.

- Man, that must be one hell of an ugly son of a…

When he saw Tyron’s look, Bender immediately stopped.

- It’s unfair! She talked, and you’re not mad at her!

- That’s because I hate you, mechanical one, said Tyron.

- What? Why?

- I don’t know, it’s just the way I feel. Anyway, we quickly found the planet, and as we thought, as we weren’t worshipping any of the creatures which are living beyond the limits of our universe we could get access to the library. We quickly discovered that the people which built it also prevented it from being displaced, however: as soon as we were trying to take the tomes out of the library, they would immediately go back to their shelves, no matter what we could do. We reported the situation to our superiors, who ordered us to copy the tomes as quickly as we could. As an answer, Kalt isolated himself in the library and studied the books during days, ordering us to say out of the ruins. I was really beginning to feel unease, as the captain was really becoming unpredictable and unaware of what his crew could think, but I still managed to prevent the rise of suspicion among our men. When Kalt finally got out of the library, he was looking… In peace, as if he had finally found what he had been searching for years. He was in such a good mood, so friendly, and he even joked with some of subordinates… I thought that he was finally back to normal, and didn’t discuss his order of flying away to get the appropriate equipment we would need for copying the books as fast as possible.

Tyron made another pause. But this time, when he started to speak again, Leela could hear a bit of regret in his voice.

- If only I had been more careful… The very first night after our departure from the library’s planet, I suddenly awakened, having an awful premonition. And when I looked at my window, I saw the edge of the Universe. I immediately knew that something was wrong, because we were heading to it instead of going to the opposite way… I rushed to the cockpit, and there I found Kalt… And the dead bodies of the navigators at his feet. Kalt was now driving the ship right to the rip in the Universe’s structure, and as I looked a bit closer, I realized he had traced runes and drawn various mystical symbols in the room with the blood of his subordinates. When he turned to face me, I also saw he used the same blood for drawing some of those symbols on his own face. He was looking so calm despite the horrors he had perpetrated that for a moment I stood frozen… He used my brief moment of stupefaction for telling me that, among the lost secrets of the lost civilizations, was a ritual which would allow anyone to get past the rip and to reach the space beyond the Universe, should anyone be forced to fight What-Sleeps-In-Between in its own domain. But he wasn’t planning to fight the beast… He wanted to see it from his own eyes and to contact it, so he could finally get the ultimate knowledge, the secret of existence, which was supposed to be kept hidden from mankind and any other sentient beings apart from the gods from beyond. I knew what would happen to any of us would he ever continue his madness, and immediately tried to stop him… But I failed to notice he was still holding the ceremonial knife he used on the navigators, until he stabbed me in the chest with it. As I collapsed on the floor, agonizing, he got back to the commands, not taking care anymore about me as if I only was a minor annoyance. Although my vision was getting darker and darker, I could see the edge of the Universe coming closer from beyond the cockpit’s windshield, soon occupying the whole space in front of us. In the meantime, I could hear Kalt reciting the sacred words that, combined with the symbols he drew everywhere, would allow him to pierce the barrier, but soon my ears failed me, and couldn’t hear anything more. And at the very moment I passed away… The Crimson Monarch went over the edge of the universe…

Leela, Fry and Bender were captivated by Tyron’s tale. At this point, even the robot wouldn’t interrupt the old man anymore, too willing to hear the end of the story for this. After a few seconds during which he got his breath back, Tyron spoke again.

- I don’t know what Kalt saw exactly, but I know the consequences. The rest of the crew had their souls shattered by the unnamable creatures which are living beyond the barrier and are serving What-Sleeps-In-Between, while their bodies got destroyed. Kalt, however, was somewhat spared by the beast. In its sleep, the god-like being felt the man’s successful attempt to reach it, which aroused its curiosity… It made him its servant and sent him back to our Universe, not without granting him great powers and immortality, with the condition of not getting out of the rip’s sector as What-Sleeps-In-Between powers can’t directly be effective too far away from this limit. Kalt quickly used his powers to resurrect his crew – but only their bodies, as their souls had been completely erased from existence… And since this day, the doomed captain wanders in this sector of the Universe, serving What-Sleeps-In-Between and turning it into his realm of terror…

For a few seconds, the three Planet Express employees stood silent, trying to add all the elements together. That wasn’t really helping them, but at least they knew what they had to face, and had an idea of the kind of things they would have to expect. Of course, a part of them wasn’t really sure it was such good news.

- Man… Talk about a story… Said Fry. You said that Kalt had super-powers or something like this… What can he do exactly?

- I’m not really sure, replied Tyron. I never had the occasion to see his limits. But at least, I know he has complete control over the ship’s structure and his crew, who are nothing but soulless tools at his service.

- That explains why I couldn’t find my way in the ship after he revealed his true nature… Said Leela.

- Exactly. Kalt has no benefits in letting you go, so he’ll try anything he can for catching you.

- And what about you? Asked Bender. You said all those blokes were zombies at his command, and yet you’re helping us…

- It’s a bit complicated, and I don’t have all the details… It looks like only those who were still alive when the Crimson Monarch entered in What-Sleeps-In-Between’s lair were turned to zombies; in 200 years I’ve never seen the navigators Kalt killed for his ritual. As for me… I guess that, as I died in the exact moment we got beyond the barrier, my soul got trapped by Kalt’s magic and was sent back to my body, without becoming his slave. Luckily he never discovered I was still alive, as I hid in those air conducts as soon as I resurrected and spent all those centuries in this network without being noticed by anyone…

- You spent 200 years in those conducts?! Said Leela.

- Well, when you don’t have to worry about eating, drinking or anything else you’ve got to do when you’re alive, it’s not as terrible as you can think. And you become quite easily accustomed to loneliness… Especially when you know that you’ll meet a terrible fate if anyone ever finds you.

- Bah, you’ll never beat me, meatba… Er, ex-meatbag, said Bender. I spent more than 1 000 years buried in a desert, once, and I just got fine.

- It’s not a contest, Bender… Said Leela.

- I never said it was, replied the robot. I was just saying that once again robots outclasses humans, even zombified ones.

- Is he always like this? Asked Tyron, losing his patience.

- Yeah, said Fry. And he’s only warming up.

- There’s still something that’s bothering me… Asked Leela. Did the DOOP do anything for recovering the library and knowing what happened to you afterwards?

- No, but it wasn’t their fault… Very shortly after Kalt’s madness, Omicron Persei 8 finally started the war against the DOOP, and the secret section we were part of got obliterated during the very first attack. It was a total coincidence as the Omicronians certainly couldn’t know our existence, but all the people who were still aware of our researches and were leading the mystic division got killed in a question of hours. After this, nobody could ever guess where the Crimson Monarch and its crew were. Which greatly eased Kalt’s schemes.

Leela got up, and stretched out her limbs as sitting down in those conducts wasn’t exactly the most relaxing thing that existed. Soon, her friends and Tyron imitated her, and everyone was standing in the middle of the room.

- Okay… There are some points I have troubles believing in this story…

- Damn, a freaking corpse tells us his past and explains us what’s going on, and you’re troubled by some parts?! Said Bender.

- Bender... I know the situation is pretty strange by itself, but there are still limits to my credulity, and I’d better wait to have more proofs for believing in every part of this… However, I’m convinced enough for trusting you, Tyron.

- Wise decision, replied the undead. I’m your only chance of getting out of here alive, so this will really help our relations…

- What can you do for us, now? Said Fry. I don’t really want to become Kalt’s slave…

- Of course. Listen… My condition granted me some powers, too. I’m far below Kalt’s level, but it would be enough for blocking his attempts to locate you without him noticing. Also, as I told you, I spent 200 years in those conducts. I can try to guide you to the docking bay where you’ll find your ship, and then help you to get out of the Crimson Monarch and escaping Kalt, even if he reconfigures the ship’s internal structure again.

- How? Said Leela. I’ve seen how deep the changes he can make are…

- He’s limited by the ship’s external structure. And after all this time, I have a clear idea of what his room for maneuver is. But enough chit chat… We must hurry, or else even I won’t be able to do anything for you. We’ll take this conduct, first. Stay behind me.

- Man, it’s a relief, said Fry. Thank you, sir. I was beginning to think I’d never leave this place…

Tyron turned and faced Fry. This vision greatly decreased the young man’s optimism, as the undead was still looking extremely grave.

- Do not thank me yet, boy. As long as you’ll still be in this sector of the Universe, your life will be endangered. And you’re still in the mouth of Hell.

Kalt gave a look at his lieutenant, who was still standing to attention in front of him. Since the beginning of the hunt, Kalt has been trying to maintain the attention of his entire crew so that they would all be doing the best they could. Usually, he only makes the men he needs fully active and puts the rest into sleep, as keeping all those dead moving and “thinking” was requiring high concentration from him, but this was a special occasion and he didn’t want any problems to occur. He was way too close to his goal for allowing a disturbance.

And he really was hoping the lieutenant wouldn’t report such a disturbance.

- Alright, lieutenant Winshaw. What’s the situation? Have they finally been caught?

As the lieutenant was so close from the source of his pseudo-life, he was able to have feelings instead of being an empty shell… Which was explaining why he was terrified of what was about to happen.

- Hum… Not yet, sir… But we’re doing our best for…

Winshaw stopped when he saw the expression on the face of his superior… And moreover what he saw in his eyes, especially the one made of fire which turned bright red.

- ‘Not yet’? Winshaw, we’re talking about three people, and this ship contains hundreds of men at my orders. Why is it taking so much time?

- I… Don’t know, sir… I’m as surprised as you. Normally, we should have found them pretty easily, what with you changing the structure of the ship for getting them lost and transmitting us the new configuration of the corridors and of the rooms, but the fact is that… Well, they disappeared.

Kalt got up of his seat, and at this very moment, Winshaw would have done anything for being able to run away of the room. But he couldn’t. Kalt was controlling all his moves – literally. He would never get out of the captain’s quarters until Kalt would have finished, no matter what he would want to do with him.

- This is getting extremely unpleasant, Winshaw. They can’t have disappeared. Not in my ship. Hiding, surely. But I know everything that goes in and out of my ship, and I know they’re still on board.

- I… I know too, captain… Just give us a little more time, and…

- Don’t talk about time with me, Winshaw. 200 years. I’ve been waiting for 200 years. You? As soon as I let you go, you forget everything and turn back to your apathetic state. In fact, it will be the fact as soon as you’ll get out of this room. You didn’t live every second of those years. But I did, Winshaw. I must say this wait is beginning to turn me mad… Well, madder than I already am. And now that the end of this wait is finally coming, I can’t bear any more delays. I’m still human, after all… I don’t have His patience. Find them. And put a little more heart in it.

Winshaw difficultly swallowed his own saliva. Sure, his memory was failing him every time his master released his hold over him, but the problem was that his memories were coming back each time he was close to Kalt again. And in such moments, he could remember the kind of things the captain could do when he was in a bad mood…

- I’ll do my best, captain. But… You have to understand that… It’s a pretty damn big ship, and there are hundreds of possible hideouts for them. It could take hours before…

Kalt suddenly made a gesture in Winshaw’s direction… And the lieutenant spontaneously caught fire.

Winshaw screamed. Since his death, his nerves got destroyed, taken away by his decomposition, and yet he could feel his burns, the intense heat, and moreover the horrible and indescribable pain it was causing. The lieutenant fell on the floor, unable to stand because of his sufferings, and wriggled on the floor, rolling, still screaming. Incapable of thinking clearly, Winshaw could only wish his torment would end, even if it would be by his final death…

The flames disappeared as abruptly as they appeared.

Still shocked by the pain, but finally recovering his senses, Winshaw realized his clothes and his flesh were in the same state than before… He was still in his undead form, but at least he wasn’t even looking burnt. He looked at his master, and the cold expression Kalt was sporting was enough for him to understand it was just a foretaste of what he would really do to him if he wouldn’t do better in the future.

- You don’t have hours, Winshaw, said Kalt, and the tone of his voice could have chilled the lieutenant’s blood if he still had some. Double the guards in the docking bay. I don’t want them to manage to reach their ship.

- Yes, master… (Winshaw finally managed to stand up, as the pain was gradually going away.) But… Can I ask you why we didn’t destroy their ship already? It would solve one part of our problems…

- Because I want to examine its technology, and to force them to explain us how it works. There are some elements in it that can be useful for us… And magic can’t always do everything. One last thing: I don’t really care in which state you bring the young man and the robot, as long as they’re still alive. But I want the woman safe and sound. She’s the final key, do you get it?

- Yes, master… I understand…

- Perfect. It’s imperative you…

Winshaw wondered what happened. His master just stopped in the middle of his sentence, as if he felt something. Slowly, Kalt turned on his seat to look at a small mirror, posed on his desk, and despite his master’s self control, Winshaw could have sworn he brutally switched from anger to fear. Winshaw never understood how it worked, but he guessed it couldn’t be good news. Only one thing could have frightened Kalt, and if it was what he was thinking… Then he wished he would be as far away as possible…

- Get out, Winshaw, said Kalt, still staring at the mirror. Now. And next time I’ll call you, you’d better have found them.

Winshaw didn’t wait that his master would repeat his order. He quickly saluted Kalt, before turning on his feet and immediately got out of the captain’s quarters, almost running. Kalt looked at his subordinate going away until the sliding door shut behind him. He knew he would forget most of what happened in this room, but he’d at least remember his orders, and it was enough.

But it wasn’t what was worrying him the most at the moment.

Somehow, when What-Sleeps-In-Between made him its servant, it also altered his senses so that he would instinctively know if the god from beyond would want to contact him through his sleep. And for allowing Kalt to contact it through the Spiritual Realm, What-Sleeps-In-Between gave him this mirror, which was looking just as another mirror in normal times, but which would immediately connect to the dimension where its soul was resting until the time of his awakening would come.

And a few seconds ago, Kalt felt the electric shock running through his spine that preceded each one of those communications.

Kalt stared at the mirror again, anxious. What-Sleeps-In-Between never called him just for the pleasure of having some news… If his God wanted to talk to him, he was surely in trouble.

After a few seconds, Kalt’s reflection faded from the mirror, which surface seemed to get troubled and to darken. And finally, dozens of red orbs appeared in the mirror, apparently placed randomly, and moving without any distinguishable pattern.

But Kalt knew it wasn’t just orbs. It was the eyes of What-Sleeps-In-Between, or more precisely a deformed representation of them as looking in the real ones would result in the eradication of whoever would face them, as the beast’s eyes were reflecting all the insanity that was composing the whole creature.

It wasn’t long before Kalt heard his God’s voice in his head.

- Mortal…

Kalt gathered his courage. It wasn’t the first time it was happening, but even him couldn’t get through such an experience without being altered.

- Yes, my Lord…

- How many?

- We’re about to get the lasts we need, my Lord. It’s only a matter of hours before…

- Hours… Mean nothing to Us. Time means nothing. Seconds, minutes, hours, days, months, years, millennia… Past, present, future… All the same for Us.

Kalt wiped the drops of sweat that appeared on his forehead. The creature was using just a microscopic figment of its psychic powers for talking to him, and yet it was almost unbearable for Kalt to withstand it. It was as if thousands of elephants were going on a rampage in his brain. The god never quite measured the limits of its mortal servants…

- It does for us, my Lord… For the moment, we still don’t have the last three, but it won’t be long.

- You don’t understand, mortal. Take as much time as you want. The only thing that matters… Is Our return. Would you fail… And We will take care of your soul.

The captain tried to suppress his trembling. He knew too well what this threat could mean…

- I won’t fail You, my Lord. I gave You my word 200 years ago.

- A mortal’s words have no value. Only their acts can make them interesting to Our eyes. Great rewards if you succeed, mortal. You will have the privilege of sharing Our glorious destiny. If you disappoint Us… The fate that awaits the rest of your kind will seem charitable compared to what you will live.

- I… I know, my Lord… But they’ll soon be in our hands. And I can swear to you the ritual will immediately be performed.

The weight Kalt was feeling on his mind seemed to diminish. It was looking like his master was letting him go, but Kalt was overall concerned to know if What-Sleeps-In-Between was satisfied or not. When it “spoke” again, it was with a very faint voice, indicating it was indeed getting back to its slumber.

- We shall get back to Our sleep now, mortal. Do your duty. One last thing: We felt an uncommon psychic activity in the dust you call your ship. It is getting stronger. And We think it is opposed to Our plans.

- An uncommon psychic activity? Said a surprised Kalt. You mean someone in this ship is helping them?

- Yes. It kept quiet until now for not being discovered, but it finally decided to take action. Make sure it will not interfere.

- I will, my Lord. He’ll regret having stood against You.

The reflection of the creature’s eyes was slowly fading away, as the communication was coming to an end. Soon, Kalt saw his face again in the mirror. But the pressure wasn’t leaving Kalt’s mind; the god still hadn’t finished.

- We will awake. And We will claim what is Ours.

Finally, Kalt felt the god going out of his brain for good, letting the fear and anguish that his presence was provoking in anyone’s mind in what was left of Kalt’s heart. The captain was now feeling completely alone in the room, as the simple fact of talking to his god almost gave it a physical form in this reality. It gave Kalt more room for thinking about what his Lord revealed to him.

So they weren’t alone. But who could have helped them? He was controlling every single man in this ship, and in 200 years, he never noticed any strange attitudes from his zombies. He knew too well about his capacities for thinking that one of them could have gotten free of his control.

Then… It wasn’t someone from his crew… But it could only be someone who was already on the ship when he broke the barrier and got in the space between the universes, otherwise he would have spotted him immediately.

A name came to his mind.

Tyron.

After all, he never knew what happened to his body… Maybe he indeed survived the travel…

Kalt frowned.

- Now, this is quite unpleasant…

Leela swore when her head hit Bender. Crawling in those conducts was already pretty unpleasant, and she really didn’t need something like this. But the robot didn’t give her the choice, as he brutally stopped in the middle of the way.

- Ouch! Bender, why did you stop?

- Because Fry stopped! Answered the robot. Move on, dammit!

- I can’t! Tyron stopped as well! Replied Fry.

- Then push him! I’m becoming claustrophobic here!

- Hey, do you realize you’re asking me to touch a rotting corpse’s buttocks? I’m already doing my best for not seeing something hideous!

Fry suddenly remembered that the “rotting corpse” in question could hear him, was sentient… And moreover was the only one who could help them to get out of the ship. It wasn’t a good moment for offending him and giving him the idea of abandoning them…

- Woops, sorry… I didn’t mean to…

- It’s alright, replied Tyron, who was clearing the path for the trio and giving them the directions. I wasn’t attractive when I was alive, and I think it didn’t get better when I died…

- No shnit, Sherlock! Said a sarcastic Bender.

- Why did you stop exactly, Tyron? Asked Leela. Are some of Kalt’s men around?

- No, said their guide, it’s just… I felt a great mystical activity… “Surviving” the travel to the other space gave me a high sensibility for such things. I already felt something similar in the past, but I never knew what it meant.

- Uhoh, said Fry. Bad news?

- I can’t tell. But I think it’s nothing too worrying… We’d better move on, anyway. The sooner we’d get to the docking bay, the better.

The group resumed its progression. They had been crawling in the conducts for very long minutes, even maybe hours, and they still weren’t sure of where they were. But at least, Tyron was… And they had to admit that without him, they would never have managed to find their way in this maze. The centuries Tyron spent in those conducts made of them his second home, and despite Kalt’s capacity to reorganize the internal structure of his own ship, their ally was indeed able to know what path to take, where they should turn, and where the difficult parts were. At some moments, they had to climb some vertical conducts, taking advantage of the narrowness of the passages; at others, they had to prevent to fall in some openings; and finally, they had to progress with extreme precaution and silently when the conduct was running through a corridor, for preventing any of Kalt’s men to notice their presence. For the moment, they were doing well, but Leela knew it was now only a matter of minutes before their pursuers would be looking for them in the ventilation system.

The young woman was bringing up the rear, as she was the only one brave enough for standing the idea that she would be the first the zombies would get if they would ever come from behind. In fact, she was as terrified as her friends, but at least it wasn’t paralyzing her. Because of her stress, she was paying attention to any sounds around them, so that she could hear anyone coming in their direction and try to react properly if so.

That’s how she heard the whisper.

- Help…

Leela stopped dead. She was crossing an intersection, when she was sure she heard someone say this word in another direction than the one they were taking. Staying still, she pricked up her ears, wondering if she misheard or not…

- Help me…

Her thoughts were confirmed. Someone in the distance was screaming for help. It was still very faint, but she could have sworn there was some distress in this call. And she was almost sure it couldn’t have been faked.

Bender finally realized that the Cyclops wasn’t following him anymore.

- Hey, big boots! What are you doing? Did you forget we’re trying to get out of here or what?

Fry and Tyron stopped. They were as surprised as the robot was, but Leela couldn’t see their faces. She looked at the robot.

- Someone is calling for help!

Leela could hear someone try to turn in the conduct. She quickly deduced it was Tyron.

- Certainly just a ventilator activating. We must go forward.

- No no no, I’m sure it wasn’t a machine! Said Leela. Just pay attention, and you’ll hear it too!

- Oh come on, Leela, we don’t have time for…

- Please, help…

If there would have been more space, the robot would certainly have jumped because of the surprise.

- Holy crap, what was that?!

- I don’t know, said Fry, and I don’t want to hear more! Let’s keep on moving!

- I agree with this young man, said Tyron. Each minute that passes multiplies the chances of Kalt to find us! We must hurry!

- Certainly not! Replied Leela. Someone there is in danger, and I would never let someone in the hands of this maniac!

- I would! Replied Bender.

- What if it’s a trap? Said Fry. It could be one of those monsters… Or even Kalt himself!

- Your friend is right! Said Tyron. This man is capable of everything for finding you! You’re too precious for him!

- What do you mean, precious?

Tyron suddenly stood silent. Leela couldn’t see his face, but she was sure he didn’t like this question. The suspicion she first felt against him reappeared.

- I mean… He won’t let you go…

- Why exactly? Asked Leela, who was beginning to wonder if it really was a good idea to trust him. You didn’t really tell us what he wanted to do…

- Well… Evil deeds… Those kinds of things… He’s bad, it’s all you need to know.

- Yeah, end of the intermission! Said Bender. Now, let’s get back to our program: “Escape from the ghost ship”, starring all of us! Let’s move on!

- Not so fast! Replied Leela. If Kalt is as cruel as I think he is, there is no way I would let anyone behind!

- You don’t even know if it’s someone! Said Tyron.

- Listen to me, Tyron… Maybe it’s one of Kalt’s tricks. But there is still a small possibility that it’s someone who is desperately waiting for getting out of his hold! And I’d rather be sure that there were no real reasons to get worried than living with the idea I let an innocent die a horrible death without doing anything!

- And here comes the Good Samaritan story again… Said Bender, sighing. Let it slip, Leela! I’m sure this guy can do well by himself!

Just at this moment, the voice could be heard again.

- Somebody, help… I can’t take it anymore...

An awkward silence took over the group.

- He’s bluffing. I bet it.

Leela gave a look at the conduct where the voice was coming. Wherever this person was, it certainly wasn’t too far away. She looked again at the rest of the group.

- Like it or not, Tyron, I’ll take a look. Follow me or wait here, I don’t care.

- Leela, no! Replied the undead. That’s madness!

But the young woman wasn’t listening anymore. She got in the conduct where the voice was coming from, hoping that the calls wouldn’t stop until she would have located the person who was calling for help. She quickly had to turn to an intersection, still crawling.

Meanwhile, her three companions were still where she let them.

- Well, she’s gone, said Bender.

- What?! Said Fry. Oh crud! I’m going with her!

- Are you all insane or what? Said Tyron. You don’t even know what you’ll find there!

- Hell no, but I won’t let her alone!

- Oh man, not this again! Said Bender. Can’t you just give up about this?

- About what?

- You and her!

- What? Asked Tyron. You mean that she and he are…

- No, replied Bender, but he’d like to. It was cute when it started, but now it’s just boring…

- Mind your business, Bender! Said Fry. Move on, or lemme pass, but don’t think I would give up!

- Okay, okay, I surrender, said the robot. We’ll follow her. Geez…

The robot began to crawl back to the intersection Leela took, and got in it. Fry followed him closely, even pushing the robot in front of him. Only Tyron was still in the same place than before.

- Stop! Stop now, fools! You don’t know what you will… Hey, are you listening to me? Come back to your senses!

No answers. The undead sighed. The stake was way too important for letting them alone, so he reluctantly began to follow their paths.

- I didn’t want this. They’re not ready. Why do they have to be that stubborn?

As for Leela, she wasn’t taking care anymore about what their ally could think. She didn’t know exactly what his problem was, but after those years with Bender, she knew when someone was trying to hide something to her, and her “sixth sense” was alerting her that something in his attitude was wrong. He was not telling everything, and she had the feeling that what she would discover was part of those things he wanted to keep secret.

Now, of course, there was the possibility that he was acting like this because the thing in question was dangerous…

- Help meeeee!

… But this voice was telling another story. Leela knew she was coming closer to where it was coming from, and she couldn’t be mistaken anymore: whoever was calling for help was indeed desperate. She tried to go faster.

After a few more minutes, she finally reached a grid, leading out of the air conditioning system. She waited a bit, fearing that one of Kalt’s men would be around… But the room she was about to get in was looking deserted. And as the person who was calling for help screamed once again, she knew she was finally where she wanted to be. There were no possible mistakes, the person was in this room. Carefully, she tried to open the grid silently, which proved to be particularly easy as it almost immediately opened up. Leela got out of the conduct with difficulty and stood up. Now, she had to be quick, before someone would come in.

- Hello? Said Leela, as softly as she could. Is anyone there? I’m here to help you!

- Over here! Oh my God, help me, please!

The voice was now extremely close from her, but it was still a bit muffled. Leela tried to locate where it was coming from, but she couldn’t find anything. The room she was in wasn’t particularly wide, and yet, she couldn’t find where the person could have been…

- Where are you? I can’t see you…

- Just in front of you! Please, hurry! I can’t take this anymore!

In front of her? Leela looked more carefully, but she still couldn’t see anybody. In front of her, there were only some shelves, holding dozens of small bottles. In fact, the whole room was filled with such shelves, but there was no sign of a dungeon, or a cage, or anything that could have contained a prisoner…

And suddenly, she realized what was going on.

The voice was coming from one of the bottles.

- HELP MEEEEEEE!!!

For a few seconds, Leela couldn’t move, as she was stunned by this event. She was expecting a man, a zombie, anything but that… She came closer to the shelves, trying to determine which bottle was talking to her. Pretty quickly, she distinguished a pale face inside one of the glass bottles. Considering the expression of fear it was sporting, she immediately assumed it was the person who had been calling for help all this time.

- Oh my God… Whispered Leela. Are you… Are you in one of…

- Yes, I am! I’ve been stuck here for 20 years now! Please, get me out of here!

- I… It’s… What the…?!

- Please! Break this bottle, whatever, but I can’t…

- Oh, shut up, Josip! You’re just breaking everyone’s patience!

In another bottle, not so far away from the first one, a pale face appeared, this one looking annoyed. Looking around her, Leela quickly noticed that other bottles were now containing a face. Some were looking angry, others were just curious… But moreover, they weren’t all looking human. Leela distinguished an Amphibian, an Omicronian, a Decapodian, and even one of those five-eyed humanoids. The one called Josip apparently wasn’t expecting this.

- What do you mean, shut up?! How can you stay this calm, Patrick!

- Because I’ve been in this state for more than 150 years, now. You’re just overreacting because you’re still pretty young at this, but you know, after a while, it’s not that uncomfortable…

- WHAT?!? Are you kidding?! We’re nothing else but souls, trapped in those bottles, and you call this “not that uncomfortable”?

- You’re starting to piss everybody off, said a third one. Sure, I would love still having my body – or even being still alive, but it would be axing too much – but at least I don’t have to cope with my wife anymore…

- Buck, you arrived here after me! Said Josip. Can’t you show some solidarity with me?

- Why should I? I quickly found the various advantages of our situation, and moreover, better being in this state than being alive when the end of times will come! And you, on the other hand, you’ve always been complaining and whining! “Boohoo, get me out of here! It sucks having no body! God, why did you do this to me!” Get over it!

- The puny human is right! Said someone who obviously was from Morbo’s species. Just act like one of our glorious race and suffer in silence!

- You do know we’re not suffering, Kelgo, right? Asked Patrick. We’re just floating in emptiness…

- Mph! Not thrilling enough for a warrior like me!

- Warrior or not, you were yet screaming like a little girl when the Shaaash got you… Said another one, this one a Decapodian.

- Silence, worm! Silence, or I’ll…

- You’ll what, make your bottle fidgeting? Yeah, really frightening...

- Will the two of you stop? Said Patrick. What did I say about yelling at each other?

- That it’s fun? Said Buck.

- It sure is! Said another guy. At least it makes a little bit of animation here!

- Oh please, guys, be a bit more mature! We’ve got a guest!

Leela finally seemed to awaken. During the whole conversation between the various spirits, she stood silent, dumbfounded. She already wasn’t expecting to meet incorporeal beings, but after her discovery, she was thinking they would be a bit… Well, frightened by their position. Once again, it looked like logic decided to take some very long vacations just before she was born, because she just couldn’t get what all of this could mean.

- Okay, said Leela, this is just… Ah, forget it. Will one of you tell me what’s going on here?!?

- Ah yes, I guess it may be a bit strange… Said Patrick. Let’s start with the beginning, alright? I guess you’re not one of Kalt’s men, but rather someone he picked up and now tries to catch, right?

- That’s a poorly done summary, but basically, yes.

- What a coincidence! Everybody here was in the same situation!

- What?! Said Leela, surprised.

- Yeah, we all got caught by Kalt and he turned us into what you see now, said Buck. I used to be a smuggler before, I tried to escape some DOOP patrol, I ended up in this sector, and Kalt quickly found me…

- I don’t think we should start making our biography, here. Lack of time, you know? Said Patrick.You just have to know we all ended here, in this sector of space, and became victims of Kalt.

- And now we’re all like this! Said Buck. More than 600, in those little bottles!

- But… How? How did Kalt do this?

- Pretty easily, human, said Kelgo. Kalt caught us, served us up to the Shaaash and then trapped our souls in those bottles just as we died.

- It’s not really comfortable when the eating part begins, said Buck, but after that, you don’t feel pain anymore, so…

Leela noticed that Buck suddenly was looking surprised… But almost immediately he got back to his usual expression.

- Right, I forgot… I can’t shrug anymore…

- The Shaaash? What’s this? And why is he keeping you in bottles instead of making you his slaves?

- Well, because he’s…

- Leela!

The young woman turned on her feet, just in time for seeing Fry, Bender and Tyron get out of the conduct. The delivery boy was already standing up, and quickly joined her.

- Is everything alright? Asked Fry. Did you find the… HOLY CRAP, WHAT ARE THOSE THINGS?!?

- Shhhh, said Leela, you want to alert Kalt and his men or what?!

- But… But… Tiny faces… In bottles…

- Man, cool FX! Said Bender, standing just behind Fry now.

- Don’t worry, said Leela. I think they can’t harm us.

- Looks like we’ve got a genius here! Said the Decapodian spirit. What makes you think this, our lack of limbs or the fact we cannot move?

- You don’t have to be rude, you know… Said Patrick. Excuse him, he’s a bit grumpy since he’s here…

- Believe me, said another Decapodian, he already was during his living.

- Jacky! Replied the first Decapodian. Is that a way to talk about your father?!

- Maybe not, but I think I’m the most qualified here to say how you were before…

- Anyway, said Leela, trying to get back to the previous conversation, they all are prisoners of Kalt.

- Oh man… Said Fry. As if I needed another motivation for getting out of here!

- Exactly, said Tyron. You know what you risk now. How about getting back to…

- Hey, isn’t it Tyron? Said Buck. How are you, old chap? Still hiding in the ventilation system?

Tyron looked at the spirit, obviously annoyed. He wasn’t looking pleased to be in this room, and everything in his attitude was indicating that he wanted Fry, Leela and Bender to get back to the conducts as soon as they can. Which reinforced Leela’s suspicion…

- Exactly, said the undead. Let’s move, we’ve got to…

- Hold on a second, said Leela. Can you tell us what the Shaaash is?

This time, Tyron tensed up.

- I don’t know what you’re talking about. Now, let’s…

- What? Are you kidding? Said Josip. You’re the one who warned me about it!

- Yeah, why are you lying, Tyron? Innocently asked Patrick. You’ve seen it!

Leela looked at the undead. She immediately knew that if he would still be alive, he would be sweating a lot.

- Is it true? Asked Leela, who was getting more and more suspicious. Do you really know what this is?

- I… Well…

Tyron looked at Leela’s eye, and when he saw her determination, he quickly realized it wasn’t worth hiding the truth anymore: she wouldn’t move until he would have explained everything.

- Alright, alright, you won… Said Tyron in a sigh. The Shaaash is another servant of What-Sleeps-In-Between. It comes from the same dimension than its master… It’s a polymorph creature, with a very unstable structure, that has been created for accomplishing any hard labors that should be done for its master’s glory. It is too stupid for acting on its own, however, so it needs to be entrusted to another servant of the god. Kalt is its current owner, so it’s following any of his orders, but only because What-Sleeps-In-Between told him to obey him. It’s resting in a particular room of this ship, and only comes out when Kalt needs it.

- Oh… Said Fry. And… He’s bad news?

- Oh my yes! He’s strong enough for moving entire buildings, and nothing can stop it except the most powerful spells ever conceived. Plus, his body consists mainly of digestive juice. Touching it equals a slow and painful death, as you’d be eaten into by acid.

- Great, said Bender. Let me sum up: we’ve got to worry about an entire army of undead creatures, their leader who’s apparently a powerful warlock, and a walking stomach?

- “Crawling” would be more appropriate, said Tyron. And you’re forgetting the unspeakable horror they’re all working for.

Bender gave a cold glare at Tyron.

- You always were the mood-killer in the parties, weren’t you?

- This is why I didn’t want to tell you about it! Said Tyron. You really didn’t need to have your already diminished hopes being even more reduced because of such news!

- It may have been done for good intentions, but I don’t think you should have done this, said Leela. We need to know everything that could affect your chances of success, even if it’s unpleasant!

- I don’t! Replied Fry.

- Bah, why are you making such a fuss about it? Said Buck. Sure, Tyron hid this from you, but you won’t have to worry about it before you’d eventually get caught by Kalt and his crew!

- And why exactly? Asked Leela.

- Because this creature only comes out when the ritual must be accomplished! [/I] Said Kelgo. In fact, it’s its only use here, he can’t do anything else worthy in such a confined space!

Leela frowned.

- The ritual? What ritual?

Now it was Patrick’s turn to frown… While Tyron was becoming even more tensed than before.

- What? Tyron didn’t tell you about Kalt’s schemes?

- He only said he wanted to catch us… Said Fry. But now that I think about it, he didn’t tell us why…

- Who cares? Said Bender. He’s evil and wants to make us suffer, period! I can’t blame him, I’ve been dreaming of destroying humanity since… Errrrr, I mean, he’s evil, that’s all we need to know.

- Well, everybody cares! Said Buck. He’s trying to…

- No! Screamed Tyron. Don’t tell them!

- … wake up What-Sleeps-In-Between!

The shock of this revelation nearly stunned Leela. Fry too had suddenly stopped counting all the bottles on the shelves (as some morbid curiosity pushed him to want to know how many victims Kalt had collected), and even Bender’s ocular sensors popped out of their sockets. Tyron mentally cursed, as it wasn’t really easing his task.

- HE’S TRYING TO WAKE UP THIS MONSTER?!? Yelled Leela.

- And you’re surprised? Said Kelgo. He’s worshipping it! Of course he wants it to come back to life!

- But this thing wants to kill us all! Said Fry.

- Yeah, but he’ll be spared and become a divinity[/I], said Patrick. [I]He’s got everything to gain by helping it!

- Man, THIS is hardcore! Said Bender. If he succeeds, I guess I’ll never be able to top that!

- If he succeeds, said Josip, it will above all mean he caught you, turned you into a spirit in a bottle, and then used you for awaking this beast!

- What do you mean? Said Leela. He’s keeping you in this state for his scheme?

- Yes, said Buck. What-Sleeps-In-Between revealed to Kalt how he could succeed. There is a particular ritual that is powerful enough for breaking its sleep. First, he needs to collect 666 innocent souls, each one separated of their bodies after having been devoured and digested by a creature from the space between the Universes – hence the presence of the Shaaash in the ship.

- When he’ll have collected all those souls, said Patrick, Kalt will then swallow them and incorporate them to his powers, and use them for breaking the barrier between the universes and maintain a portal which would be big enough for allowing his master to come in this world. Finally, he’ll wake up the beast and draw its attention to this entrance by using a lure. A living lure, in fact… What-Sleeps-In-Between, despite its divine nature, seems to like females…

- Oh wow… Said Fry. This really sounds bad! I don’t really want to know what he’d do to this woman!

- I don’t want to know either! Said Josip. The poor victim would pray to be killed before the beast would ever touch her!

Leela thought all the things the ghosts had been revealing. So, Kalt was even more dangerous than she thought… He wasn’t just a local menace, he was deliberately working for accelerating the coming of Armageddon. In a way, it was explaining some elements he told her during this dinner, when she realized he was evil. His threat about the fact they would never reach Earth again, “because there would be no more Earth” or something along those lines. It was sure that if What-Sleeps-In-Between would ever come to this Universe, everybody would be doomed…

But the young woman suddenly remembered another part of this discussion she had with the undead captain. He said he had great plans for her… And that if she knew what he wanted to do with her, she would have to use a far much term for qualifying him than freak.

And now, those prisoners were talking about a woman who would be offered as a sacrifice to the evil god…

- Wait a second… Said Leela. How many souls did Kalt gather so far?

- Exactly 664, said Kelgo. Buck is the last one he caught.

- What?! Said Leela. Oh my God, only two last victims and he will be able to free this monster!

- Exactly, replied Patrick. And something is telling me that your friends would be perfect for completing his collection.

- Then, said Fry, that’s another reason for… Wait a second… Bender too?

- It makes two, right? Said Kelgo. Then yes, he’ll do everything he can for catching you. The fact that he’s a robot doesn’t change a thing.

- Bender has a soul?! Said Leela, genuinely surprised.

- Yes, most probably, said Buck. I know, it’s a bit surprising… In my time, if you would ever have said that mechanical beings have a soul, everybody would have…

- No no, said Leela, you don’t get what I mean… BENDER has a soul?!?

The robot pretty quickly understood what his captain was implying.

- Hey! Said the robot. I feel offended! I guess I’ll have to call my lawyer as soon as we’d be back to Earth!

- Wait a minute… Said Fry. If Bender and I are Kalt’s last souls, then who’s the final sacrifice?

- It’s pretty obvious, isn’t it? Said Patrick.

At first, it wasn’t that much for Fry, but after a few seconds, the young man finally understood what it was all about.

- WHAT?! IF THAT MONSTER EVER TOUCHES LEELA…

- Calm down, man, said Buck, there’s not much you’d be able to do. Great wizard, remember?

Leela, of course, was shocked, although she figured this “fact” much earlier than her friend. But there was something else that was making her angry… It was about their guide, Tyron. She faced him, looking like a fury.

- You knew, didn’t you? You knew about this ritual, and the part we’re supposed to play in it!

Tyron wasn’t even trying to look in her eye… However, the expression he was sporting was somewhat indicating his resignation.

- ANSWER!

The undead finally looked at her. And Fry could easily see regrets in his eyes.

- Yes, I knew.

- Why did you hide this!? Said Leela. This is changing everything! Until now, the only thing that mattered was to get out of this ship, but now it’s different!

- It’s not? Asked Bender. Because frankly, getting out looks pretty cool…

- We’re talking about the end of the world! Resumed Leela, not even paying attention to the robot. We may escaped, but it would only be a matter of a few years before Kalt finds other victims! We can’t let this happening! Why didn’t you tell anything about this?!

- Because I knew how you would react, replied Tyron. I knew since the very moment I saw you from my hide in the docking bay that you were strong and willful, and would never let innocents suffer.

- And what’s the problem with this, exactly?

- You’re trying to find a way to stop Kalt. But it’s impossible. He’s way too powerful. Trying to face him would be like suicide! The only chance we have to prevent the awakening of What-Sleeps-In-Between is that you get out of this sector of the galaxy as fast as you can!

- And what do you make of the other potential victims? We’re not the only one he could be preying!

- I know… But besides helping them to escape, there’s nothing else that can be done.

- Oh yeah? (Leela pointed the bottles.) And them? Why didn’t you manage to help them? Did you really have to wait that Kalt would be about to succeed for finally moving your ass and trying to prevent this to happen!

- Now you’re becoming rude, young lady.

Surprised by this interruption, Leela looked in the direction where this last voice was coming from. She quickly identified the guest as being a middle-aged guy wearing a monocle. There was something extremely noble in him, despite the fact he was never more than a floating face inside a glass bottle.

- Excuse me?

- Tyron always tried to help us, said the man. You can ask every single one of us, he always tried to use his magic for getting us out of Kalt’s reach. But every time, he failed. Either Kalt caught us before he could have done something, either the captain and his men proved to be smarter than we thought they would be, or either we goofed and fell in one of their traps. It’s not his fault if we’re in such a state. In fact, I think you’re the ones who are doing the best so far. Tyron knows what he’s doing, young lady. And you should be ashamed to even think he could have tried to trick you.

This disturbed Leela’s reasoning. Since the revelation about Kalt’s true nature, anybody was either a friend or a foe, but now she was facing something that was a bit more complex. She had to admit that she may have overreacted in this case, but she still had some trouble with the way he acted.

- Is this true? Asked Leela to Patrick, now less angered.

- Yes, lord Carnavon is telling you the truth. Tyron jeopardized his cover every time one of them got trapped in this ship, and as all his attempts failed, he was getting more and more involved. Unfortunately, he always had bad luck.

- Oh man, said Fry. That sounds very awful…

- Alright. (Leela was feeling a bit unease after what she implied.) Look, Tyron, I’m sorry for having implying you didn’t really try to stop Kalt before…

- No problem, said Kalt. You’re tensed, afraid… And given your nature, I wasn’t expecting you to act differently.

- Still… Said Leela, crossing her arms on her chest. You should have warned us. It’s not only our lives that are at stakes now. We must find a way to stop Kalt.

- Hellooooo? Said Bender. Trapped in a ghost ship? Dark lord of the undead after us?

- It’s another reason I didn’t want to tell you this, said Tyron. I know you want to help, but nothing can be done…

- And the library?

Now, Tyron was surprised.

- What do you mean, the library?

- The one you explored before your death… The one containing all the secrets of this ancient civilization? If Kalt found there the ritual for getting in What-Sleeps-In-Between’s world and another one for awakening it, maybe it also contains some spells or weapons we can use against him?

Tyron scratched his chin, thinking a lot about Leela’s proposition. He was apparently lost in his thoughts, turning every possibilities into perspective

- Maybe… Said the undead. In fact, this is highly probable…

- You never thought about this? Said Fry.

- Of course I did! The problem was to get on the planet. But for this, the only way is to first escape the Crimson Monarch, which requires that your own ship would still be working.

- You think it’s not? Asked Bender.

- In the contrary, said Kelgo. During those two centuries, Kalt always kept his preys’ ships in one piece until they would have explained him how their technology works. Then, he dismantles them and keep the interesting parts for improving the Crimson Monarch. Your ship must still be able to bring you to the planet you’re talking about!

- Then it’s settled! Said Leela. We resume our escape, but as soon as we’re out of this ship, we’ll look for the library!

- But it’s still too dangerous! Said Tyron. We don’t know if we’d be able to reach it, and if we can, what makes you think we could find something against Kalt? He won’t abandon just because you would have managed to get out of the Crimson Monarch!

- It’s hazardous, I know, but it’s not like we’ve got other alternatives.

- You don’t even master magic!

- But you do. You’ll come with us. What would you do anyway, stay here and wait for the end of the Universe?

Tyron took a few seconds for making his decision. Surprisingly, nobody had to wait too long. Even him wasn’t really expecting to decide this quickly.

- Alright. This plan can easily fail, but this is the last one we’ve got.

- Great! Said Leela. And you guys?

- Will we be risking our lives again? Said Fry.

- Yes.

- But we’ll get out of this rotten place?

- Yes.

- Will there be some cool stuff to see?

- We’re talking about magic battle, so I guess yes…

- Great! Said an enthusiastic Fry. I’m coming!

- And you, Bender? Asked Leela.

- My impulse chip says “hell no!”, my rational processor says “you can’t pilot a ship anyway, so you’re bound to stay with the chick who can until she decides to take you home”…

- The people have spoken! Said Leela. Now, let’s hurry! We don’t have much time left!

- Indeed we haven’t, said Tyron. Follow me, please. Next stop: the docking bay. It’s been a pleasure seeing you again, guys.

- Same here, Tyron, said Buck. Good luck, you all.

Fry, Leela and Bender answered with raising their thumbs, smiling. Tyron was the first to get back in the conduct, as he had to lead the way once again. The three Planet Express employees quickly followed, the last one closing the grid behind them. For a few seconds, silence took control of the room.

- Well, looks like we’ll finally see the end of all this in any cases, said Josip.

- Good Lord, yes, said Kelgo. Finally an end to your whining!

- Hey!

- Cut it out, you two, said Patrick. We already made too much noise so far. I hope none of Kalt’s men will spot them…

- You expect them to succeed? Said the Decapodian. If they’re the last hope of every living beings, then everybody’s doomed…

- I wouldn’t be that pessimistic, said Lord Carnavon. This young lady looks extremely competent. And they all look to be very bound to each other. They’re incarnating something that Kalt can’t compete against.

- What exactly? Asked Buck.

- Friendship. Love. All those kind of things that What-Sleeps-In-Between or its servant never took into account.

Patrick smiled.

- Yeah… It’s not over until it’s over…

- Are we there?

Tyron sighed. He was wrong when he thought that only Bender would be a pain in the ass. First, Leela proved to be more stubborn than he thought. And now, Fry’s stress was getting so high that he was keeping on asking again and again if they would soon be at the docking bay…

- No, patiently replied Tyron.

- Oh.

A few seconds passed on, during which the four characters kept on crawling in the conducts.

- And now?

- No… Said Tyron, his patience getting to his limits.

- Okay.

A few more seconds of silence.

I swear, if he ever…

- And now?

Tyron brutally stopped in the middle of the conduct, and tried to look behind him. As he pointed his flashlight at Fry, the young man immediately hid his eyes, blinded by the sudden light.

- No, no, and no! Said Tyron, not trying to hide his irritation any longer. What are you, 8?! We won’t get any faster if you don’t stop axing me if we’ll soon arrive or not!

- Yeah, that’s getting tiresome, said Bender behind Fry. The only thing that has prevented me from throwing you in the hands of that maniac at the first occasion is that it would provoke the Apocalypse!

- Sorry, said Fry pitifully, it’s just that it’s starting to be very long, and I really want to get out of this ship…

- We all want to, said Leela behind him, but you’re not helping when you’re doing this. Stop annoying Tyron, now…

- I can’t help it! Almost whined Fry. I’ve been in those damn conducts for too long, I’m… I’m suffocating here!

- Oh great, said Bender, now he’s about to panic. Remember the other day, when he got his arm stuck in the vending machine for 3 hours? Boy, that was embarrassing…

- It was entirely this stupid machine’s fault! Said Fry. He took my coin without giving me this Burkan bar, and he refused to admit I paid him!

- Yeah, of course, you goof, and it’s automatically the robot’s fault…

- He refused to let my arm go! The firemen had to shut him down temporarily for getting me out! And he was the same vending machine I met when I was in this robot asylum!

- So what? He just forgot to take his medications that day. You still kept on screaming and crying like a little girl…

- Will you just shut up?! Said Tyron. It’s a miracle we didn’t get caught with all the noise you’re making!

- About that… Said Leela. Have you got an idea of what she should do for getting to the ship? Something’s telling me that they won’t let our ship unguarded…

- I have some… Said Tyron, calmed down. But they would attract Kalt’s attention, so they wouldn’t give us a lot of time. And it would require the help of your two friends.

Only the lack of room prevented Fry and Bender from jumping of surprise.

- WHAT?! They said in unison.

- We will all have to collaborate to succeed, said Tyron, as we’ve got an entire battle cruiser against us. I will need everyone’s competence for…

Tyron suddenly stopped. Something caught his attention. It was still faint, but he could have sworn…

- What do you mean, “every one’s competence”?! Angrily said Bender. We’re complete buffoons! Especially Fry!

- Shhh! Said Tyron, waving at the robot, despite the fact he couldn’t see him. Do not make so much noise!

- And why not exactly? You’re planning to use me for Skynet only knows what kind of stupid plan, and I should…

- Silence, dammit! I heard something, and this time it wasn’t one of the lost souls!

Bender finally realized what their guide was implying. It immediately put an end to his ranting, as this time, it would probably not be a friend… Fry, Leela, Bender and Tyron tensed up, trying to know what was going on.

And as soon as they all stopped any kind of noise, they finally could hear something coming in their direction, crawling.

They all began to sweat, devoured by their anguish. Tyron immediately lighted the flashlight off, as it couldn’t reveal him anything that was going on in front of him, and would only help their pursuers. It was impossible now to think that there was nothing at all, as the crawling sounds were keeping on getting closer and closer.

- You… You think… Whispered Fry. You think it’s them?

- Without a doubt, softly replied Tyron. I’m just surprised they only decided now to check out the ventilation system. We can’t go further, let’s get back on our tracks.

- But… Where should we go?

- Listen, I’ll touch your left leg if we must go the left, and your right one if we must go to the right. I want you to do the same to your friend Bender, who will have to repeat the indications to miss Leela. Tell this to your friends, and please, please, we must be as silent as we can.

Terrorized, but determined not to be caught by the zombies, Fry told Bender Tyron’s intentions, who in turn told Leela what they had to do. The young woman didn’t say anything, she simply nodded – which, because of the obscurity, the robot couldn’t see – before turning round gracefully and silently, making a u-turn, and started to backtrack. Her three companions weren’t as acrobatic, but apparently their pursuers didn’t notice anything as Tyron didn’t hear them accelerating or any noises that could have indicating that they were chasing them. However, as he had a quick look at what was going on behind him, he saw, coming from a turn, the beam of a flashlight. It made him push Fry, who in turn pushed Bender, who pushed Leela. Their only chance for not being spotted would be to get out the way their pursuers were taking, and to get to a sidetrack that was still left unexplored. A very slight chance, but it was the only one they could get.

As a result, it was now Leela who was leading the group. She had an idea of the route they’ve taken before, but it was impossible for her to have a clue of where they would go. She hoped that the indications Tyron would give to her would be useful, but in any cases, this situation would slow them down, or even worse considering she was aware of the few chances they had to get out of this situation. The idea of being handed to some horrible unknown creature was a good enough incitation for her, though. Some may want to know how it would look like, especially guys attracted by Japanese porn and accustomed by some strange “situations” that can happen in those type of productions (and that we won’t detail, for the sake of anyone’s sanity), but not her. At the first intersection, Leela felt Bender’s hand on her right leg. She immediately understood what it meant, and as soon as she reached the intersection, she turned to the right, just as Tyron indicated her through Bender and Fry…

And she found herself face to face with one of the zombie.

The young woman screamed of surprise, which struck all her companions who weren’t expecting that something like this would happen. The zombie screamed too, as he couldn’t imagine that their preys would suddenly jump in front of him at the least probable moment, at the exact moment he thought that lighting on his flashlight would be useful… Leela tried to take advantage of the undead’s stupefaction for backing off, but unfortunately her attempt got stopped by Bender who hadn’t reacted to her actions yet. When the robot finally realized what was going on, Kalt’s minion got over his amazement, and was now trying to catch Leela, which wasn’t as easy as he thought, considering the young woman was desperately struggling for getting out of his grasp. She would certainly have the upper hand in a room or a corridor, but in those conducts, it wasn’t that sure…

- Oh crap! Screamed Leela. They’re here! Back off, quick!

Tyron knew exactly what was happening as soon as Fry brutally stopped in front of him, and just as Leela was screaming, he already was trying to push Fry and Bender (who were at this moment paralyzed by fear) out of his way for reaching the Cyclops. The flashlight couldn’t reveal that much of what was in the conduct, but he could distinguish Leela who was trying to punch the zombie who was in turn trying to catch her. Tyron saw the creature trying to pull something out of his pocket. He didn’t have to see it to know what it could have been: a syringe filled with some tranquilizer. Kalt needed them to be in one piece for the ritual…

With difficulty, Tyron managed to put himself just next to who was too preoccupied by her opponent’s attacks for wondering what her guide was trying to do. She however noticed that something odd happened when Tyron touched the zombie’s forehead with his index. The creature seemed completely stunned by this contact.

- Stone! Yelled Tyron.

Immediately, the zombie stopped moving.

Leela needed a few seconds for realizing what just happened. When she finally understood that the struggle was over, she stared at the zombie, her mouth wide open, as she still couldn’t believe what happened. Her opponent’s decomposition seemed to have spared the upper part of his skull, as his nose, eyes, ears and hair were still intact, but the rest of the flesh seemed to have disappeared. The creature had no lips or cheeks, and even a large part of its throat was missing.

- What the…

But Leela couldn’t finish her question. Behind her, Fry screamed horribly, absolutely terrified.

Tyron immediately backtracked, and he knew what the situation was just as he went over Bender, who still hadn’t tried to do anything for helping or escaping. While he was busy saving Leela, the other zombies spotted them and caught them. And as Fry was just behind him before he went away…

It exactly was what he was expecting. Thanks to his flashlight and their pursuers’, he could see that two creatures appeared behind Fry, and caught him. The one which was holding the young man would have looked perfectly human if it wasn’t for his skin’s color (greenish, as any decomposed body has) and the fact he was missing an ear, and already was pulling a syringe out of its pocket. The second one was a completely rusted robot, with some parts of its body which had completely disappeared, and a few electric wires coming out of the various holes. Fry was panicking, crying, and screaming, and had completely lost control of his dignity.

- Lemme go! Lemme go! I wouldn’t make a good sacrifice! I taste horrible, I swear! Ask the Cannibulans!

The creature holding Fry finally pulled his syringe out… But just as it was happen to sting Fry with it, Tyron tried to catch it. The needle went in the palm of his left hand, but at least Fry was safe. The zombie, however, had a moment of hesitation; Tyron took advantage of it and touched its forehead with his right index.

- Stone!

Just as before, the creature stopped moving. Tyron let Fry try to get out of the creature’s grasp by himself, as it was still not over. The robot zombie looked in Tyron’s eyes, and despite the lack of facial features, Tyron knew it was surprised. He didn’t let it get over its amazement. Tyron immediately touched its forehead.

- Stone!

Once again, the creature seems to have been paralyzed. Tyron looked behind it, afraid that there would be more of Kalt’s followers… He sighed of relief when he saw that it wasn’t the case. They finally were out of trouble.

For the moment.

Kalt raised his head and frowned. Something unusual just happened in the ship… What-Sleeps-In-Between was right, there were some strange mystical activities inside the Crimson Monarch, and for once he had nothing to do with it. He felt a weak disturbance just a few seconds before…

The undead wizard clenched his fist.

It looked like he had to take care of everything by himself…

- What… What happened?! Said Fry. What did you do?!

- A basic paralysis spell, replied Tyron. It will be enough for stopping them for a while. I know nothing that could have taken them down permanently.

- Wow, said Bender. Not too shabby. Can you teach me how to do this? There are a few applications that can…

- You’ll think of your future burglaries later, Bender, said Leela. Are we really out of danger?

- For the moment, yes, said Tyron. It will require a few hours for the spell to go off. But we definitely have to hurry, now. They may not be able to move anymore, but they can still hear everything and moreover they still remember what happened… As soon as the spell will fade away, they’ll tell their master where they found us, and Kalt will send all his forces in those conducts.

- Doesn’t sound good… Said Fry. How about we continue, then? Is it still possible?

- We’ll have to crawl on those two, said Tyron, pointing the zombie who caught Fry and the undead robot, but yeah, it’s possible. And we don’t have many choices left, anyway, that’s the only way.

- We can’t get access to the docking bay otherwise?

Leela went near Bender and slapped him. Because of the lack of room, the robot’s head immediately crashed on the floor.

- Ouch! What was it for, dammit?

- Congratulations, idiot! Said Leela. Tyron just said they can hear everything! Not only will they tell Kalt where we are, but they’ll also tell him where we’re going!

For once, Bender didn’t complain. Especially as he couldn’t think of anything for his defense.

- Whoops!

- Whoops indeed, said Tyron, his irrational hatred for the robot becoming completely rational after this. I would be the first one to punish you for your clumsiness, but we’ve got no time for this. There may be other groups, searching for us in the ventilation system. And we all agree that we should avoid more inopportune meetings, don’t we?

Tyron gave a look through the ventilation grid. This time, they finally reached their goal: the docking bay. He could see one of the very few fighters that were inside the big room, and that Kalt was keeping just in case he would have to send some of his men to chase one of their victims. As he looked to the left, he also saw the rear of the Planet Express ship. At least, one part of their plan succeeded, as he managed to bring them to their ships without being stopped by any of Kalt’s minions. But now a few more difficulties were going to happen, as he quickly had the confirmation of what he feared: since the moment Fry, Leela and Bender got on board the Crimson Monarch, Kalt increased the number of guards in the docking bay. He quickly counted four of them, but it was not impossible that there would be more.

- What do you see? Asked Fry, behind him.

The young man was still pretty anxious about his plan, but he quickly recovered from the aggression from before and would certainly be able to play his part. Tyron turned a little bit to look at Fry.

- Four soldiers, maybe more, whispered Tyron. None of them is guarding the grid, however, and there’s a fighter between us and them. We may be able to enter in the room without being noticed.

- Are you still sure about your plan? Asked Bender. Because I won’t stay unnoticed for long, and I’d really love to know I have a chance of getting out of this alive!

- I won’t lie to you: I’m not 100 % sure it will work. But despite the control Kalt has on those men, he couldn’t have thought of everything. There is a large probability that they will be completely disoriented by your actions, and won’t try anything for a while.

- Let’s just hope this “while” will be long enough, said Fry, because I’m not sure I’m the right man for this…

- We don’t have any other alternatives, said Leela. I’m the only one who can start the ship, and Tyron must sabotage their fighters while you keep them busy. You and Bender are the only ones here who can prevent them from looking where we don’t want them to look…

- Yeah, said Fry, but…

- I don’t like this either, Fry. Believe me, if I could, I would have set up a plan that wouldn’t jeopardize your lives. But I also don’t think we should be that pessimistic. You and Bender had already done this dozens of times, right? And each time, it was perfect. Just keep on doing what you’re the best at, and it should be okay.

Fry looked behind him, trying to catch Leela’s look. He was doing his best for hiding this, but he was terrified about what he and Bender would have to do in a few minutes. There were so many unknown factors in this equation that it would only be in the middle of the action that they would know if it would work or not. But he managed to see Leela, somewhere behind Bender… A large part of his anxiety went away. The young woman was about as afraid as him, but she was still cold-headed, and was still able to act as the rational captain that she was, doing all she can for making her subordinates to work at the maximum of their capacities. But there was something else that strengthened his determination, something that Kalt would never manage to overcome: more than his captain, she was his friend, and maybe (only maybe, but Fry would always cling on this hope) even more. And when his eyes crossed hers, he realized she wasn’t saying those things just for making him do what she wanted him to do. She was trusting him. She knew he wasn’t always reliable, and yet she was giving a chance to prove he was way better than many people were thinking.

This thought gave him all the strength he needed.

- Alright. Everything will be okay.

Leela smiled, and raised one of her thumbs for encouraging him a bit more. Fry smiled back at his friend, before really facing Bender.

- And you, old brother? Are you with me on this one?

- Do I really have the choice? Said a completely resigned Bender.

- Thank you, Bender. Ready?

- Yeah.

- Perfect. Tyron, open the grid. Bender, give me my jacket, my stick and my hat. It’s show time.

There were in fact five of Kalt’s men in the docking bay, circling around the Planet Express ship, but none of them spotted Fry, Leela, Bender and Tyron when they got out the ventilation system. They didn’t even know they weren’t alone anymore until Fry and Bender appeared just in front of them. As soon as the duo appeared, they stopped their round and walked in their directions… But after a few seconds they stood still, looking insecure. Their master ordered them to arrest any of the three employees of Planet Express, and gave them a complete description of his preys.

He never told them that they would be wearing red-striped jackets, white shirts and black bowl hats, and would have sticks made of reed.

Despite their anguish, Fry and Bender were smiling as if they heard the funniest joke in the world a moment ago, and were leaning against their sticks. Fry quickly understood that the undead were destabilized by their appearance, just as Tyron thought they would be, and as a result gave a quick look at Bender for telling him they could go on with their plan. Bender opened a little hatch on the side of his head, from which a little loudspeaker got out. Fry snapped his fingers.

- 1, 2, and 1, 2, 3!

Just at this moment, the loudspeaker began to give out a little perky music, performed by a piano, a few banjos and some other instruments that Fry never managed to identify. Fry and Bender began to dance on this music and to juggle with their sticks, increasing the state of amazement of the undead, who definitely didn’t know what to do as their master certainly never expected something like this to happen. And as the musical introduction came to its end, Bender and Fry began to sing like those music-hall duets that had a lot of success at the beginning of the 20^th century.

I have heard, among this clan,You are called "The forgotten man"?Now, what are they saying?Well, did you evah?What a swell party this is!And have you heard the story ofa boy a girl unrequired love?I’d like hear so farI’ll make you cryTune in tommorrowWhat a swell party this is!What frails, what frocks (what frocks)What furs, what rocks (they’re beautiful)I’ve never seen such gaiety!Neither have I!It's all just too too risquée really!This French champagne!So good for the brain!That’s what I was gonna say!You know you are a brilliant fellowWell, thank you!That place ain’t got that class, my friend...

Kalt’s men were captivated by Fry and Bender’s act, and were doing absolutely nothing for stopping them. As Kalt was too far away from them at the moment, his hold over them wasn’t strong enough for allowing them to try to take some initiatives and to carry on his will. They were still mindless envelopes, filled only with Kalt’s recommendations, and none of them was telling them what to do if they would ever face a singing duet. In fact, some elements of their former lives, when they were still individuals and not tools at Kalt’s disposal, were somehow resurfacing, inducing various reactions among the zombies. One of them was completely lost, wondering what was happening and what to do. Three others seemed to like Fry and Bender’s performance, as they mechanically began to beat time, following the song’s rhythm. The last one, finally, was completely stoical. Fry, despite concentrating on his act, still couldn’t believe their plan was actually working, as the undead were staring at them, following them wherever they were dancing, and weren’t paying attention at all about what was going on in the rest of room. Which, of course was the purpose of the whole thing, as Tyron and Leela could do their parts without being bothered by the zombies. Fry and Bender were indeed manipulating Kalt’s minions so that they would look exactly where they wanted them to look, and as a result to not notice Leela and Tyron. While the young woman quickly reached the ship and began to prepare it for their escape, Tyron went from one of the fighters to another, messing around with their engines so that the little ships would explode for covering their escape and preventing Kalt from sending his troops against them. If he calculated everything right, they would explode from themselves in a matter of minutes.

Leela and Tyron were working as fast as they could, for two main reasons. First, it wouldn’t be too long before someone would hear the strange activity in the docking bay, and it wasn’t sure Fry and Bender would “hypnotize” newcomers just as they would come in… And of course, if Kalt himself would try to see what was going on, they would be screwed. And second, despite their training, Fry and Bender could probably not sing for too long. They already finished their song before Tyron had done everything he had to do, and had to restart immediately before the undead would come out of their apathy, but moreover their stress was still a bit diminishing their abilities. Fry quickly was out of saliva and got a dry mouth, while sweating much more than during his rehearsals with Bender. Bender whose limbs were menacing to fall off, as his articulations were trembling like they never did.

That probably wasn’t their best performance, but it was getting the job done, and it was quite enough.

After a few minutes, Tyron finally finished his task, and quickly joined Leela, still avoiding to be spotted by the undead soldiers. It didn’t take long for the two to finish preparing the ship, and pretty quickly, Leela looked at the cockpit’s windshield. Just as she expected, Fry and Bender were still dancing and singing, except they were facing her, while the zombies were turning their back at the ship. As Fry saw her, Leela indicated him that they were ready to go with a discreet gesture. Fry didn’t answer to her, still trying to keep the soldiers busy, but he hit Bender with his elbow for telling him they could go. The robot immediately understood what his friend wanted, and began to move so that they would reach the ship’s access while still dancing and singing. Fry followed him, and the two of them started a complex choreography for reaching the ship. As the soldiers were still staring at them, they followed them as well, except that they weren’t moving closer to the ship. In fact, Fry and Bender’s dance lead them just between two of the fighters which were still in the docking bay, and that Tyron sabotaged a bit earlier… As the young man and the robot set foot on the access ramp to the ship, each one on a different side, they were also coming to the end of their song.

What a swell partyA swell partyA swellegant, elegant party this is!

Just as their last note died, the fighters exploded quasi simultaneously with such violence that even Fry and Bender felt the shockwave. The explosions hit the zombies head-on, leaving them no hope of getting spared. The fugitives’ attack was even more a success that this was a complete surprise for the undead creatures. When Fry recovered from the blast, he quickly saw that Kalt’s minions were scattered all over the place, in the literal meaning as the floor was covered with all the limbs of the creatures. They obviously weren’t definitely dead, as the body parts were still moving, but they would certainly not be able to stop them. Tyron appeared on the access ramp, looking ecstatic.

- Get in, quick! The explosions have certainly warned the others!

Fry and Bender immediately followed Tyron inside the ship, which was already buzzing as Leela was starting the engines. As soon as the trio got in the cockpit, Leela made the ship hover and was directing it to the exit, which by some extraordinary luck was still opened.

- Hold on something, guys! Screamed Leela. Next stop: the last planet before the edge of the Universe!

But just as she was about to get the ship out of the docking bay, the temperature suddenly dropped of several dozens of degrees. Condensation was forming on the windshield, and Fry could see that ice was appearing on the walls, even to the point of making stalactites that were falling from the ceiling.

- What the hell is going on? Said Bender. I can hear my internal chips shaking of cold!

At this moment, Fry was standing on the left of Leela, and he was about as panicked as the rest of his friends. As he was looking at what was going on in the docking bay, trying to see what could be causing this, Fry took a look at the left of their ship…

And he saw the wall opening up, creating a hole, allowing someone to come in the room.

- Kalt! Screamed Fry.

Tyron looked at the direction Fry was pointing at. As the opening in the door was closing out, he immediately recognized his former superior. Kalt’s valid eye was indicating the immeasurable rage that was consuming him and which caused the sudden drop of temperature, while his eye of fire was burning as if entire Hell wanted to use it for invading this plan of reality. During a very brief instant, Tyron’s and Kalt’s looks crossed… And Tyron could feel the cold inside Kalt’s heart take over his mind.

- Leela! Screamed Tyron. Full throttle, before he…

But just at this moment, Kalt made a gesture to the front of the Planet Express ship… And suddenly, the ceiling and the floor of the docking bay turned into teeth of steel that quickly grew to the point of blocking the way out of the docking bay. Leela managed to brake just before the ship crashed in the barrier. Shaken by the sudden stunts, Tyron needed a few seconds for getting back on his feet. Looking outside again, he quickly realized that Kalt was now walking in their direction.

- We must get make a way out! Screamed Tyron. Quick, or we’re finished!

- Bender! Yelled Leela at the robot. Get a torpedo ready! Move!

The robot didn’t wait for another order, and quickly jumped out of the cockpit. But Tyron knew that no matter how fast the robot could be, he would never be able to prepare the torpedo before Kalt would have done something else for definitely stopping them. Horrified, Tyron saw the cursed captain stop not so far away from them. This vision wasn’t reassuring Tyron, as it could only mean one thing: Kalt was preparing another one of his spells. And the wizard was indeed starting to raise his arm, and Tyron saw his lips moving, forming the first syllables of his spell…

When suddenly, the undead sorcerer got hit by a laser shot.

At first, Tyron, surprised, couldn’t understand what happened… But then, he realized Fry was missing. And he remembered he saw a laser turret on the top of the ship.

Soon, Fry’s voice could be heard on the internal communication system.

- They say in the movies you’ve got to shoot zombies in the head for killing them, but a Category 4 laser looks good enough!

The shot managed to tear off Kalt’s left arm, the one he was raising a few seconds ago. The warlock looked at his stump, wondering what happened, but it definitely was not looking like this was painful or even that annoying. Fry shot him a second time, this time leaving a big hole just in the middle of his chest. It’s only when the third shot cut one of his legs that Kalt finally fell on the floor. But it apparently was still not enough: Tyron saw him trying to stand up, and he immediately realized that he was already regenerating. Burnt flesh and missing bones were already growing again, and his missing arm had already been reconstructed to the elbow.

- Torpedo’s ready! Screamed Bender in the internal communicator.

Leela didn’t want to wait any longer: she immediately pressed the trigger that was commanding all the torpedo launchers. The barrier immediately got vaporized by the blast, leaving a big enough opening for the ship to get through.

- Now! Screamed Tyron. Now, before he recovers!

Leela pushed the engines at their maximum, and the ship immediately jumped into outer space. The rear aileron scraped on the metallic fragments of the docking bay, but it wasn’t enough for stopping them. After hours of fear and horror, they finally were out of the Crimson Monarch.

Kalt’s leg was now regenerated enough for allowing him to really stand up. He looked at the Planet Express ship, which was still moving away. The scream of rage he shouted made the entire cruiser shake, from the nose to the rear engines.

The wizard looked at what was still inside the docking bay. He saw the remnants of his men, still trying to reattach themselves, and the debris of the various fighters that were still at his disposal. Nothing he couldn’t take care of. Kalt crossed his arms, closed his eyes, and quickly whispered some words that were in a language nobody talked for centuries. And in a matter of seconds, the entire room got back to its former appearance: the ceiling and the floor were flat once again, the fighters were in one piece, and his men were standing on their feet, as “fresh” as they were before. There were no more traces of the various explosions that occurred in the room. During a few seconds, Kalt’s minions looked at themselves, still insecure about what just happened, but soon, one of them came closer to his master.

- Captain, we’re sorry, said the zombie, they… They hypnotized us and…

- Shut up, Jackson! Screamed Kalt, who was letting his monstrous rage take over. I will make you pay for your stupidity – all of you! You still have a chance of seeing the tortures I’ll inflict to you be less abominable than what I’m currently planning, however! Those who knows how to pilot, get in those fighters immediately and damage their ship so that they won’t be able to get out of this sector of space! If we manage to get them back, I’ll show you some mercy! And remember: I want them alive, do you hear me? ALIVE!

All the zombies began to tremble with fear, but three of them got out of the group and quickly got in the fighters. It didn’t take them long for getting out of the docking bay and to start pursuing the Planet Express ship. Kalt didn’t wait for them to be out for getting out of the room himself, however. Dumping the rest of his subordinates, who were still quivering with fear, he was on his way to the Crimson Monarch’s commands.

There were no ways he would let the last sacrifices he needed go away that easily!

And he really, REALLY had to have a little talk with his former second-in-command…

- Whoohee! We’re free!

Fry and Bender high-fived and began to perform some sort of victory dance that was just looking stupid but was still showing how happy they were to finally be out of the ghost ship. Leela needed incalculable amounts of self-control for not getting out of her seat and force them to calm down. Tyron, however, didn’t have the same patience.

- Will you just stop that? We’re far from being out of trouble, you know…

- Maybe, replied the robot, but finally walking on a non-rusted metallic floor is enough for me to feel at home!

- For the love of… (Tyron was really getting to the end of his tolerance for the duo’s extravaganza.) This is just the beginning! We have to hurry until… But change yourself, dammit, I can’t bear those stupid outfits anymore!

Fry and Bender indeed had no time for getting rid of the suits they used for their little singing act with all the agitation of the last minutes. They quickly got them off, and Bender put them back in his chest cavity where he took them in the first time. How they ever got there was another mystery that Leela wasn’t really sure she would ever want to have the answer… Bender also pulled out Fry’s T-shirt and jacket that he kept all this time. Later on, the young man would notice that the few nickels, the bubble-gum and the paper clip that he forgot in his pockets had mysteriously disappeared…

- Alright, alright, Mr Angrypants, said Bender. Why are you that messed up, anyway? We’ve put quite a distance between them and us!

- Not enough, I’m afraid, replied Tyron. I don’t know exactly how far away from the rift in the barrier between the Universes Kalt can go… And moreover, Kalt was in the docking bay when we left. Which means he mustn’t have taken too much time for repairing the fighters and…

Just at this moment, a violent explosion shook the Planet Express ship and made it rock. Fry managed to catch on a seat, but Bender and Tyron weren’t that lucky and fell on the floor loudly. Shaken at first by the blast, Leela quickly saw on the radar what was going on.

- Three fighters, behind us!

Fry immediately ran out of the cockpit and got inside the turret. The fighters were still pretty far away, but he still could see they indeed were the same that were inside the Crimson Monarch’s docking bay.

- It’s them! Shouted Fry in the intercom. They’re closing in!

When she heard Fry’s scream, Leela immediately started some maneuvers, so that the fighters would be confused and would miss them. Concentrating on her commands, she was doing her best for getting them out of danger, just like all the times they got engaged in a dogfight.

At least, it was more in her competences than all they did before. Fighting undeads and wizards was so uncommon, even for them, that she couldn’t do anything really special except that running away, crawling, and being forced to follow Tyron’s instructions. But a dogfight… It was a situation she lived dozens of times before and that she was accustomed to. Of course, there was still an element that was making the whole scene strange: the nature of their enemies…

- How could they catch up with us? We destroyed their ships!

- Knowing Kalt’s powers, said Tyron, he must have repaired them quasi-instantaneously. I told you, he has a complete control on what was on the Crimson Monarch when he led it into the space between the universes.

Suddenly, Tyron seemed to have an idea. The dead man began to scratch what was left of his chin.

- But his control weakens when something gets out of his ship… I may be able to do something, if we keep on moving away from the Crimson Monarch. Of course, that means we have to deal with those fighters until then…

- Got it. (Leela grabbed the communicator.) Fry! Try to get them down!

- Okay! Said Fry through the communicator.

The young man grabbed the trigger and started to aim the incoming ships, which were now really firing at them. He waited a bit that they would be more than mere points in his sight.

- If you can hear me from up there, daddy, said Fry, then let me tell you this: this is why buying that phaser gun and Duck Hunt for my NES when I was 6 was a matter of life or death!

Finally Fry started to shoot back at the fighters. Just like Leela was doing with the Planet Express ship, they started to perform various stunts for avoiding Fry’s shots. A really hypnotizing dance between all the ships started; laser shots were now spread all over a sector of space that was until a few minutes before completely quiet and silent. In fact, logic would dictate that it would still be silent because of the lack of atmosphere, but very strange things altered basic physics between the beginning of the XXIst century and the XXXIst one… Things that gave massive headaches to Albert Einstein’s preserved head, gave him a depression and finally turned him totally insane. Albert Einstein’s head is now imprisoned in a completely soundproof room, where it keeps on screaming “WHY DID YOU FAIL ME, PHYSICS?!? WHYYYYY?!!!?” and on singing the Little House on the Prairie’s theme.

Leela was doing her best for shaking off the three fighters, but they were much more talented pilots than what she thought they would be. Very often, despite all her stunts, she could barely dodge their shots, and at her great surprise she had to admit it was a miracle they didn’t hit them until that moment. On the meanwhile, they were showing great skills in escaping Fry’s attacks. Despite the young man’s training he got with all the video games he played all those years and the other dogfights they got engaged too, he still didn’t manage to hit them a single time. At the very moment he was about to press the trigger, his target would suddenly change its course, as if it knew he was about to shoot.

And of course, for making things worse, they had the numerical superiority.

This ballet went on and on, until at one moment Fry, Leela, Bender and Tyron’s luck ran temporarily out… And one of the fighters’ shots got them. Shaken once again, Leela, however noticed it wasn’t as strong as what she could have expected. But for a second, all the commands went mad, and switched off before restarting from themselves. It wasn’t something she already witnessed during one of their previous fights… Fry too got a surprise, as the laser turret suddenly jammed for a few seconds, before working properly again.

But the most annoying thing was that Bender suddenly sang behind Leela during this short period of time.

- Oh my darling, oh my darling, oh my daaaaaaaarling Clem… (Bender went back to his usual self as quickly as his crisis occurred.) Wow! What the heck just happened?!

- They’re not using casual lasers, said Tyron. Remember, Kalt wants all of you alive, so they can’t risk to destroy the ship and to kill you in the process.

- So what are they using? Asked Leela.

- A little something Kalt got in one of his victims’ ship. Their weapons are in fact shooting electromagnetic impulses, altered so that they would act on a very local perimeter.

- Basically, they want to jam all our electronic instruments, which would completely paralyze us…

- And they would only have to wait for the Crimson Monarch to catch us again, exactly.

- You know, said Bender, for a moment I thought they just wanted me to sing again for them… Great Skynet, I so hope it was only that…

- Just keep on dodging them for a while, said Tyron, and please don’t disturb me at all, no matter I would be doing.

- Why? Asked Leela. You’ve got an idea?

- Yeah… I just hope we’re far enough from Kalt for using it…

Without saying anything more, Tyron sat on the floor, adopting the same position that those Yogis Bender saw on TV, with their legs tucked up and crossed on each other. The robot saw their ally pose his hands on his knees, lean his head and close his eyes. If Bender had a better deduction processor, he would have understood that Tyron was gathering all his mental and physical capacities and concentrating all his inner power for whatever he was about to do. But as he didn’t, all he saw was an undead guy act like one of those damn hippies at those boring meditating sessions, and talking to himself apparently as he saw Tyron’s lips moving without being able to hear anything he was saying. If it was the only thing he could do for them, then he’d better hope that Leela and Fry would do better…

The following minutes were one living hell for the robot. Despite their respective skills, Fry and Leela couldn’t do anything for getting rid of the fighters. In fact, their enemies were progressively coming closer to their goal… They managed to hit the Planet Express ship two more times, each time jamming it for a few seconds and forcing Bender to sing and dance again. Standing next to the young woman, Bender, stressed, was looking at everything that was going on outside, while Leela was grinding her teeth, pushing harder and harder on the commands for making the whole ship obey to her orders.

As a result, neither Bender nor Leela noticed that Tyron’s body was now enveloped in a strange green aura.

Fry was the first to notice that something wrong was going on with the fighters… Well, wronger than before. They were all enveloped in a green aura, and if he could see Tyron at this moment, he would have immediately known it was the same aura than the one surrounding the former lieutenant of Kalt. The pilots, despite their lack of individual mind, also noticed the phenomenon, and began to look on their instruments what could explain this.

Then, the ships began to disintegrate.

It started with some bolts and other minor components that came off, leaving a streak of debris behind the fighters. It wasn’t long before entire pieces were torn off. Fry, so fascinated by what was happening that he wasn’t even firing at them anymore, saw them lose their hulls, the rest of their outer shells, and then the entire wings, the engines, all the electronics inside… In a matter of seconds, nothing was left except for the cockpits, and even those parts began to go away, piece after piece. When everything got over, Fry could see the pilots, floating on nothing as their seats went away long ago, still flying in their direction as they were still subject to their former propulsions, looking completely dizzied and still holding their joystick – the only piece of their fighters that didn’t go away. As Leela made the Planet Express ship take another direction, Fry saw the pilots disappear in the distance.

- Ooooookay… Said the young man.

Bender and Leela took a bit more time for realizing what happened. As they couldn’t believe their own eyes, they didn’t think it could have been Tyron’s work before a few seconds. When they finally looked behind them, the aura enveloping their undead ally was disappearing but they still could see it. Tyron finally opened his eyes and tried to stand up. It was apparently extremely tiring for him as he leaned on Bender’s seat and was looking like he was about to faint at any moment.

- What the…?! Said Bender.

- We’ve been… Lucky… (Said Tyron with difficulty. He renounced trying to stand on his feet and collapsed on the seat, before getting a small piece of tissue out of his pocket for sweeping the big drops of sweat that appeared on his forehead.) The fighters were holding… Only thanks to Kalt’s magic… They should have… Gone in pieces dozens of years ago…

- Pfoohee! Said the robot. They chose the right moment for falling in pieces!

- They didn’t… Choose it, you dreg of a dump… I concentrated all my…Resources… So that they would finally get back… To the form they should have gone to… In the past…

- You destroyed them just by using your mind?! Said Leela, truly amazed.

- I certainly couldn’t have succeeded… If we weren’t that away from Kalt… His hold on the ships was greatly weakened by the distance… And yet, I barely succeeded… I need some minutes… For catching up my breath…

- Alright, Tyron, you can relax, now. For the moment, we’re out of trouble.

- For the moment…

Just at this moment, Fry rushed in the cockpit, completely excited. He was exactly like one of those teenage girls who just came back from a concert of their favorite singer of the moment.

- Ohmygod! Did you see that? That was awesome! They were all, like, pshew pshew pshew, see? And also wwwwrrrrraaaaaooooo… And then they fell in pieces, and they were all like whaaa? And it was…

Leela sighed. When Fry was in such a state, it was only meaning one thing: the following minutes would be extremely long. And irritating.

- Yeah, we saw that, Fry.

- It was Tyron, right? (Fry jumped on the undead and began to shake him.) It was you? How did ya do it? How? Can you tell me please? Pleeeaaaase?

- Hey! Protested Tyron. Stop this!

- He did all this with his mind, said Bender, knowing that it would only reinforce Fry’s excitation and as a result be some sort of compensation for having been called “dreg of a dump”. Like Uri Geller, except it wasn’t a load of tosh.

- Whoa! Whoa! (Fry looked away, and saw his mug, on the console. He pointed it.) Can you make it float? Just a little bit?

- Fry, enough! Screamed Leela. Can’t you see he’s tired? Saving us required all his strength!

- Oh, said Fry, embarrassed. And a pencil? You can still make it float?

Leela slapped her forehead, really getting a headache from Fry’s lack of common sense. She was about to tell him to let Tyron alone again…

When Kalt suddenly materialized in front of her.

Out of surprise, the young woman nearly dropped the commands. Her three companions immediately reacted to the apparition of the undead wizard, gasping and jumping on their feet. Even Tyron tried to stand up, preparing for a duel… But he quickly realized it wasn’t as serious as he primarily thought it was. He indeed could see through Kalt, and the outlines of the warlock’s silhouette weren’t as clear as anyone would expect.

- Calm down, said Tyron. It’s not really Kalt, it’s just his astral projection.

- Oh yeah, sure, replied Bender, the freaking psychopath appears just in front of me and I should just act as if it was nothing!

- I said it’s his astral projection, Bender. Some kind of hologram, but created by magic. He can’t do anything to us…

Just as Tyron stopped talking, Kalt’s image seemed to awaken. Leela instinctively got up of her seat and moved backward. Hologram or not, she couldn’t stand being near Kalt… The servant of What-Sleeps-In-Between wasn’t sporting an aggressive or an enraged expression on his face. In fact, he was even smiling politely, as if he was just welcoming guests. If he wasn’t a walking corpse, anybody could think he should be a pleasant guy and a warm host. But even with this mask, he couldn’t hide the little flame of insanity that was burning in his remaining eye. And the four companions could perfectly see it.

- Greetings, Leela, said the image of Kalt, and its voice was as clear as if the real Kalt was standing in the cockpit. And greetings to you too, gentlemen. I hope you’re enjoying your little escapade…

- Yes, quite, replied Leela, trying to look stoical. It sure is really good to have some fresh air.

- I’m afraid I can’t understand, my dear Leela, as I haven’t breathed for a very long time… But I can tell you it’s extremely impolite to slip away like this when someone offers you his hospitality…

- Stop your little comedy right now, Kalt. You may talk and act like a gentleman, but we know the true purpose of your “hospitality”…

Kalt’s expression was still frozen in this awkward smile, but Leela could see that something was definitely altering the captain’s mood.

- I guess this dear old Tyron told you everything. (Said Kalt. He specifically looked at his former subordinate after this.) Long time no see, by the way, lieutenant. I really admire the fact you’ve managed to hide yourself from me during two very long centuries… But if we have to be completely honest, as miss Leela just suggested, let me tell you this: I don’t know how you survived, but I’ll make myself sure you’ll regret it happened. During approximately… Oh, let’s just say the eternity.

- That’s very kind of you, captain, replied Tyron, hiding his fear.

- Exactly what I thought, said the wizard’s image. I will be very brief: nobody makes fun of me. Nobody. I wanted to end all this pretty quickly, just like I did with the others, but you dared ridicule me and this… This changes everything. You can be sure I’ll catch you again… You have no chances of getting out of this sector before I would recapture you. And at this moment, I’ll make myself sure that all the elements of the ritual will be extremely long, painful, and humiliating, to the point that your minds will be shattered by everything you’ll live through… I just wanted you to really consider the fact that if everything will be worse than how they should have been, it would entirely be your fault.

Leela and Tyron unconsciously tensed up. They knew perfectly that Kalt wasn’t bluffing… Being the victim of a madman was already terrible, but being the victim of a madman who has been annoyed was dozens of times worse. Behind them, Fry and Bender were shaking, almost falling to pieces as the ghost’s menaces were terrorizing them. Kalt could see their reactions, and he found a sadistic pleasure in contemplating their terror.

- We will meet again soon. Until this moment, prey your god, whatever it is, that you won’t hold long when you’ll be in my hands.

Kalt’s image began to dissipate, and until the very last moment, the light of his eye of fire scrutinized them, as if it could see their souls.

The four companions needed a few seconds for recovering from this little event. Leela, at her great confusion, realized she was trembling from head to toe, and Tyron wasn’t in a better state. As for Fry and Bender, they were way too scared for taking care of their dignity.

- What do we do now, Leela? Asked Fry.

- We stick to the plan, replied Leela. We go to this sacred library.

- Did you hear him or not?! Said Bender. He’ll slaughter us all!

- Another reason for going there, isn’t it? We need to defend ourselves from a maniac, after all…

- Aren’t you sure we can’t fly away? Asked Fry.

- I don’t think so, said Tyron. It’s impossible to know how fast the Crimson Monarch can go with Kalt’s magic. In fact, I don’t really know how far from the rip between the universes exactly does it stop. Maybe he indeed can catch us back no matter how fast we can travel…

- Then it’s settled, said Leela. Once again, it looks like the local library holds the key to a better future for us.

- It awfully sounds like a PSA, said Bender.

- It is. We still have some community services to do, remember?

- Pfuh, you accidentally land on a kindergarten once, and they keep on reproaching it to you again and again…

At this period of its revolution around its star, the planet was so close to the edge of the Universe that its equator was almost scraping it. Leela was surprised to see how close to Earth it was looking like. Usually, the planets they were exploring, from space, were tainted with extremely strange colors for the water, the soil and the atmosphere, but this one’s oceans were sporting a very deep blue tone, and the continents were of all the various shades of brown, from a so pale one that it was almost yellow to the darkest shade possible. Even the clouds’ colors were matching Earth’s. Leela also quickly learned from Tyron that the planet was 1,003 times bigger than Earth. In other words, they were roughly the same size, which meant they had vastly similar gravities.

There was, however, one major difference with our planet: there were absolutely no traces of green on the planet. Despite all those similarities with Earth, this planet was a dead world… Absolutely no life form was still living on its soil, or in its oceans. The only trace that there had been life once was the cyclopean forgotten library that they were about to explore. Tyron himself had absolutely no idea of what caused the powerful race vanish into oblivion, which really troubled the young woman if the cause of their extinction were to be found in the secrets of the planet itself…

The trip to the planet wasn’t as long as she feared it would be, which was bringing advantages and drawbacks. Of course, it allowed them to quickly reach what may be their only chance of stopping Kalt. But it also meant they wouldn’t have much time before them if the warlock ever knew where they were and to find something useful in the library’s archives.

Tyron quickly guided her to the location of the library. As soon as they entered in the planet’s atmosphere, Leela was completely stunned by the strange scenery that was flashing by her eye. They were flying over gigantic areas of rocky deserts, completely empty of any kind of vegetations or life. She had a slight shiver when she thought that the Earth would certainly look like this if fate, or a god (depending of the reader’s beliefs), didn’t allow living cells to form on their planet and to evolve to make much more complex creatures. But it was the sky that was completely outstanding. The similarities between Earth and this planet were also to the point that it was blue on the sunny side of the planet. But the library was at this time of the day on the other side of the planet… The one facing the edge of the Universe. And as soon as they got in this part of the planet, instead of complete darkness, Fry, Leela, Bender and Tyron were under a completely white and bright sky. When the curve of the planet was allowing it, they could still see a little of the usual atmosphere’s color, but they were completely dominated by the blank nothingness over their head. As a result, there was absolutely no nights on the planet when it was that close to the edge. It was only alternating between day and what Tyron called “the white phase”.

Fry and Bender, behind them, were nervously looking to the sky. Contemplating the limits of the Universe was already an indescribable show, but doing the same when you know that horrible and unconceivable beings which are violating the very fabric of Creation just by existing was giving it a much rather morbid signification… Fry was really, REALLY hoping this barrier would hold against those evil creatures. He just didn’t want to think of what would happen if it wouldn’t.

Covering the distance between them and the library once they entered in the atmosphere would be a matter of minutes. The complete absence of air traffic and of life behind them was indeed allowing Leela to fly way over the authorized speed limit of the civilized worlds. Leela wasn’t even thinking about slowing down before they would be at the library anyway, not only because they had to be there as quick as possible, but also (and she felt a little bit guilty about it) she was enjoying this situation. Years and years of scrupulously following law couldn’t prevent her from liking doing something that was usually forbidden.

- You’d better slow down, said Tyron. If our instruments are right, we should see the library anytime soon…

- But I didn’t reach 0,5 lightspeed yet! Replied the young woman.

- What?

- Err, nothing, I don’t even know why I said that… You’re sure about the location? I’m quite surprised that you know where it could be on this planet…

- The first time, we found it because we knew the exact coordinates. And you didn’t adopt a new system for calculating coordinates during those 200 years, did you? Then it’s settled.

Leela nodded, and began to make the ship slow down. They soon got to the usual speed inside an atmosphere, which would certainly be enough for reaching the building pretty quickly without missing it… After a short while, Leela began to distinguish something, at the horizon. For a few seconds she thought it was a rocky hill, but she quickly realized it was in fact the library itself.

And as they were getting closer to it, Leela, Fry and Bender got fascinated by what they were seeing.

They were expecting a single building, not especially big. But what they were seeing was of cyclopean proportions, covering a surface pretty much equivalent to Manhattan Island. The library seemed to come out of one of a dream, as nobody inside the Planet Express ship could exactly guess how someone could ever have conceived such a titanic work in his mind. The library itself was contained within a square surrounding wall, with a door big enough for allowing ten elephants to go through at the same time at the center of each side. Made of some dark-green that was reflecting the strange “light” from the Edge of the Universe, the library was shaped like a gigantic “plus” sign when you were looking from above, and was a complex layout of arches, minarets, bridges between towers, and of fortified walls, dominated at the center of the structure by one gigantic dome that could have housed at least three stadiums. There were almost no angles at all on the building, everything was round, even the colossal doors leading to the inside which never were rectangular, but were always finished at their top by arcs. The library seemed to be in a wonderfully preserved state, as if it wasn’t millions of year old but had been finished only a few days ago. No walls were falling, the stone was shining as if it had been polished for the arrival of its guests, and there were absolutely no weeds or moistures in the building… Which was only revealing the total absence of life forms on the planet’s surface.

In front of each wing, there was a paved alley that was running all the way and leading to the door in front of the library. The alleys were as wide as the doors, and were made of the same stone than the library, except that the paving stones were much paler than the rest of the building. Leela decided to land on one of them, not too far away from one of the door. As they were getting closer, she quickly saw that big statues were standing on each side of the alleys, a few meters away from each other. They were representing strange creatures that she never saw before, and she quickly deducted they were in fact images of the strange unknown race that built the library. Apparently, from their living, the creatures were looking like big cats, except they had six paws (but were only standing on two which turned through evolution to legs, the four others becoming arms), their eyes were completely deprived of any kind of pupils (but it could have been caused by the way the creatures were carving their statues; after all, the ancient Greeks too never put pupils and retinas in the eyes of their statues), and had little antennas just above said eyes. Leela quickly realized that there weren’t any statues that was having the same activity, or having the same pose. It was as if the creatures wanted to make an inventory of all the activities they were doing on this planet. According to the statues, they were doing such things as reading, writing, observing stars, discussing, philosophizing (one of the statue was indeed looking a lot like Rodin’s Thinker), but also doing much more trivial activities like playing music, doing sports, acting, and…

Leela thought she must have made a mistake. Why would a race which would want to represent its might and wisdom would show themselves eating junk food in front of something that was awfully looking like a TV set, playing pinball or smoking dope?

Anyway, after a very long trip, she finally could land the ship. Leela, Fry, Bender and Tyron were quickly out, standing on the strange paving stones facing one of the entrances of library. And for a few minutes, they couldn’t look away from the majestic doors that were in front of them. They had certainly been built for letting giants get in, as Leela could easily make the ship fly through them if they were open, and even allow another ship to enter in the same time. On each leaf, another one of those unknown alien had been carved, and those were wearing some kind of armor and shields. If they were here only for decoration or for guarding the library from any intruders, Leela couldn’t tell. A frieze was running all along the entire door, which was apparently representing some sort of ivy and other kinds of plants. Leela had to admit the frieze was particularly well detailed, as it was possible to see each veins on each leaves… But once again one small detail made her wince. Some plants had five very fine leaves, and as she took a better look, they were really looking like seedlings of hemp. She quickly got this feeling out of her mind. It must have been an alien plant that wasn’t hemp, and it was just coincidence.

But looking back at the two warriors carved on the doors, she also noticed that their hairs were braided, as if… Yeah, as if they were wearing dreadlocks.

Behind her, Bender whistled.

- Wow, that’s a shame they did all this for stupid books…

- Stupid?! Said Tyron, truly offended. We’re talking about the largest mystical library in this Universe! Some of its secrets could change the fate of billions of living beings! And maybe you can’t feel it as you’re not initiated to magic, but the concentration of mana here is immeasurable!

- Still books for me, replied the robot. I’m not interested if they’re not illustrated.

- You don’t even read comics, said a perplex Fry. I’ve only seen you read dirty robot magazines…

- That’s what I said: illustrated.

- How can we enter? Said Leela, more for calming down Tyron who was looking weirdly at the robot than for anything else. Those things look like they weight tons… I don’t think any of us has the strength to open them.

- To be fair, I’m pretty worried myself, said Tyron. They were opened last time…

- What? Said Leela, troubled. If they were opened when you came and are closed now, it can only that someone closed them in the meantime!

- I know, replied Tyron. But I’m as lost as you. During those 200 years, Kalt never came back here, and none of his 664 victims came here either. I can’t explain how it happened…

- Don’t worry, dude. We closed them after Kalt left, when we understood he was not cool…

Fry’s, Leela’s, Bender’s and Tyron’s eyes popped out of their socket (literally for Tyron, who’s undead condition had many drawbacks) when they heard the voice. They all slowly turned round… And froze.

Behind them were standing two creatures that were obviously from the race that built the library. They were wearing monk robes, and, despite what the statues were showing, had indeed retinas, but no iris.

But what was really astounding was that they were translucent, colorless and had no legs… Their bodies were ending with some sort of filaments, and they were floating.

One of them made the V of victory.

- Hey, dudes.

Although she was struck by this new twist, Leela kept her self-control and faced the ghosts. After all, they weren’t looking aggressive at all. She however had to catch Fry by his collar as he tried to flee to the ship as soon as he saw the two creatures. Tyron had to do the same with Bender.

- Who are you? Asked Tyron. I’ve never seen you, and it’s not the first time I’m here…

- No wonder, dude, replied the one on the left who had three stars drawn on his chest, last time we didn’t think you would need us. But now… Wow! Quite a mess! Woops, sorry dude, I forgot to introduce ourselves… I’m Has-The-Hiccups, and this is Smells-Like-Cinnamon.

- Hey dudes! Said the other ghost, this one with a hexagon on the chest.

- Well… Err… A pleasure to meet you… Said Leela, a bit disoriented by their names and their attitude. I’m Leela, and this is Fry and Bender. I guess you already know Tyron…

- Hi! Said Fry, still insecure.

- Don’t eat me! Said Bender.

- Good to see you made it through here, sis’, said Smells-Like Cinnamon. Quite a fly hey? Kalt didn’t abandon easily…

- Sure, but… (Leela suddenly stopped.) Wait a second… You know about our situation?

- Of course, sis’! Said Has-The-Hiccups. We know everything that occurs in this sector! ‘Cause we’re here for that!

- Talking about this, replied Tyron, you still didn’t tell us who you were exactly.

- Right, dude, said Smells-Like-Cinnamon. Totally forgot. We were the last high priests of this planet, and also the last Durganians, until we opened up our souls to higher spheres of consciousness…

- You died? Innocently asked Fry.

- That’s rude, dude, said Has-The-Hiccups. You’re closing off my chakras.

- Sorry…

- Anyway, resumed Smells-Like-Cinnamon, our mission was, like, way too important for us for joining all our pals in the Other World, see? Someone had to stay behind and take care of the library…

- Clean up the dust, put the books which may fall of their shelves back to their former place, look after the weapons against the Great-Devourers-From-Between-The-Universes, this kind of things… Said Has-The-Hiccups.

- That’s the name of those creatures? Said Tyron surprised. I never knew that…

- That’s how we call them anyway, dudes. And finally, we’re also here for helping anyone who would like to fight them and their servants.

- So you’re undead janitors? Said Bender. Man, if you needed a proof that death sucks… You have to go on with all the dirty tasks!

- We wouldn’t have to if we had someone to replace us, said Has-The-Hiccups. But we’re cool that way, dude. We couldn’t see anybody take our duty anyway, and especially not those bloody Nibblonians! (The ghost mumbled the rest of the sentence in his teeth… Well, his ectoplasmic teeth.) Stupid fascist little critters… Always acting as if they were superior…

- What my pal here says is that we were all way too worried about the rip in space-time continuum, just above our heads, for getting away just because we would have kicked the bucket… Said Smells-Like-Cinnamon. Very bad karma, see?

- What? Said Bender. That hole is just here?

- Sure, dude! Look!

The ghost pointed to the sky. Fry, Leela, Bender and Tyron immediately looked up, but all they saw was the blankness of the Edge of the Universe.

- What? Said Bender. I see nothing!

- Look closer, dude. You see those ripples?

The four friends paid more attention, and finally, they could see what the ghost was meaning. Up there, an area of the edge wasn’t as uniform as the rest… It was a bit hard to see with all the white structure of the edge, but there were some waves on the surface, undulating circularly from a central point. The first idea that came in Leela’s mind was like it was exactly as if a fish was just under the center of those waves and trying to get something that was on the surface.

And considering what was waiting beyond this point, the metaphor was certainly more than accurate.

- So if What-Sleeps-In-Between would ever come in our universe, it would from this point? Asked Leela.

- Right’o, sis’, said Smells-Like-Cinnamon. It’s why we decided to emigrate here. It’s better to be just in front of what you’re supposed to guard, see?

- Great, said Fry. So now, you’re telling me that this huge freaking monster is looking at us through this tiny ripple up there?

- No, it’s still sleeping, said Has-The–Hiccups. But yeah, it’s just beyond this point. Talk about bad neighborhood…

- Alright, that may be extremely useful, said Tyron. But we’re kind of being in a hurry… We must…

- … Prevent Kalt from gathering the souls of the dudes here and from awakening the deity with using the sis’ here as bait, said Has-The-Hiccups. Yeah, we know.

Tyron backed off a little. Apparently, the answer of the ghost caught him off guard, especially as it was stated with so much calm that Has-The-Hiccups could as well have said he’d prefer some maple syrup on his waffles.

- What?!

- Oh come on, dude, because we’re spirits we can’t know a damn thing about what’s going on in a sector of space we swore to protect even after our death? Said Smells-Like-Cinnamon. Stop it with your prejudices, dude, that’s gettin’ sickening… Of course we know that Kalt has gathered almost all the souls he needs for awakening his master!

- But how could you…

- Hey, dude, we were manipulating incredibly flashy spells way before your ancestors started eating bananas and throwing poo at each other! Said Has-The-Hiccups. That’s not too hard to keep ourselves informed of anything that could mean the coming of What-Sleeps-In-Between!

- Then why didn’t you try to stop him or something? Asked Bender.

- ‘Cause at the period we couldn’t guess he was a bad dude. He was our first visitor in millennia, and moreover the first human we met. When we finally understood he was bad news, it was too late for doing anything by ourselves. Our powers greatly diminished after our death, and we can’t do horsecrap in this form. The only thing we could do was to see how things would turn, and to push you to come here for fighting for us!

Now, all the natives of Earth gasped of shock. Leela, from her part was feeling a lot more scandalized than the others.

- You mean you forced us to come here?! Said the young woman. No way! That’s a decision we took alone!

- Sorry, sis’, but no, replied Smells-Like-Cinnamon. Don’t worry, we didn’t lobotomize you, we just took advantage of your willingness for making you coming here. Remember this little voice in your head saying “hey, it could be a good idea to go to this funky library and see if those old dudes had something interesting…”? My idea.

- Damn, I knew I would never say or even think “dude” or “funky”!

- Oh, pfew! Said Bender. If you got in our heads, I finally have an explanation to why I wanted to pick flowers and to make some bunches recently…

- We never told you to do that, dude, said Has-The-Hiccups.

- Oh… Bender suddenly looked at his friends, particularly embarrassed. Hehe…

- Sounds cool, though…

- Moving on… Said Tyron. You know why we’re here. So, I’ll be direct: can you help us?

- You’re the only one who can help yourselves, dudes…

- Ooooooh… Said Fry, disappointed.

- … But it will be easier if you use all the groovy magic items we stored in the library for such an occasion!

- Aaaaaaaah! Said Fry, excited.

- Follow us!

At this moment, the four Earthicans looked at the doors, expecting them to open largely… But all they heard was a tiny click, and instead of having the two large door leaves open, a very, very small portion of the left leaf opened, just large enough for allowing a human to walk through it. At first a bit surprised by this pretty anti-climactic moment, Fry, Leela, Bender and Tyron looked at each other… And finally, shrugged.

- So everything’s inside? Asked Fry.

- Yep, replied Has-The-Hiccups.

- Okay. By the way, your names, you translated them for us?

- No, dude, that’s the real pronunciation.

- Really? Wow, funny that you were already speaking English millions of years ago!

- We weren’t, said Smells-Like-Cinnamon. That’s just an amazing coincidence.

- Oh.

When they finally entered in the library, Fry, Leela and Bender stopped walking and looked around them, amazed. Just as they thought, the walls were dozens of meters high, and the ceiling above them was looking extremely distant. But what they couldn’t imagine was that the books would be in shelves that would be climbing almost to the two-thirds of this height, this on almost all the surface of the library. There were sliding ladders that were allowing anybody to reach the books that were on the highest shelves, and above the shelves were candelabras, looking like flourishing bushes, that would most certainly light the entire library and were fixed on the ceiling. Fry had a stiff neck because of all the time he spent looking up.

It was most certainly the largest library that ever existed in the entire Universe. The whole place was containing billions and billions of books, all in a surprisingly very good state of preservation, and the three employees of Planet Express could almost feel the weight of all this wisdom and this knowledge crush them. The place was even completely free of any traces of dust, which was amazing Leela as she was expecting to be knee-deep in such dust. Even Tyron, who already got there, was still feeling impressed by such a miracle of architecture and by such a compilation of an entire specie’s knowledge. The four friends had the feeling they were troubling a fragile environment that had been preserved from corruption thanks to its isolation and that they were breaking a calm that had billions of years for implementing this location.

There were two, however, who didn’t seem to be disturbed by the building’s majesty. Has-The-Hiccups and Smells-Like-Cinnamon were already walking… Well, more exactly floating forward.

- Hey, dudes, will you follow us or not? Said Has-The-Hiccups. There’s a bit of walk for reaching the English section, and we don’t have the day, ‘kay?

Fry, Leela, Bender and Tyron finally got out of their admiration and began to follow the ghosts. However, as they were walking between the shelves, they were still looking everywhere, fascinated by the monstrous amount of books and documents.

- That’s… Oh my God, I’ve never seen something like this! Said Leela. That’s beyond all words!

- Thanks, sis’, said Smells-Like-Cinnamon. This library is our people’s greatest achievement. Good to see that even non-Durganians appreciates it.

- But… How could those books still be in one piece? If they’ve been here for billions of years, they should have turned to dust! And the whole place should have turned into ruins!

- Thousands of years of mystical and scientific knowledge, sis’, said Has-The-Hiccups. We gathered all our resources for creating matters that would never, ever be altered by time. The “stone” that makes the walls is absolutely, completely unbreakable and impossible to erode. The books aren’t as solid, but the matter and the ink we used have been designed specifically for standing all those years. If we didn’t make any mistakes, this library and all its content will still be standing when the End of the Universe will come. Neat, uh?

Bender whistled.

- And meanwhile we can’t make razorblades that last more than 5 shavings… Said the robot.

- Yeah, but you almost need a laser for opening your bags of coffee, said Has-The-Hiccups. Okay, dudes, let’s turn to the left, we’re almost there.

The ghosts indeed finally stopped floating in the alley to get in one of the rows. Leela took the opportunity for looking more closely at the content of the shelves: looking at the titles on their edge, many of the books were apparently written in a language she couldn’t understand, but there was some kind of classification that she couldn’t understand either. She was beginning to worry about how they could find what they were searching for, when the ghosts suddenly stopped. Fry didn’t notice they were arrived until he literally went through Smells-Like-Cinnamon. When he realized what happened, Fry quickly looked at the ghost, embarrassed.

- Sorry, said Fry, I didn’t mean to…

- No problem, dude, replied the ghost. But be a bit more attentive in the future. You may not feel anything, but it tickles us a bit…

- Anyway, said Has-The-Hiccups, welcome to the English section! We put all the magical books you’ll need on the lowest shelves, just so you wouldn’t have too much problem reaching them, but you’d still need the ladders for some of them…

- Hey, said Bender, now that I think about it, why are you calling this “the English section”?

- You didn’t get it, dude? Thanks to our oracles, we knew all the civilizations that would appear after ours, but we were unable to see which one would ever come here. So we copied all our mystical and historical volumes in the largest number of languages possible. That’s why the library is so big, dude: we have everything in more than 400 languages!

- You mean… You translated all this?! Said Fry.

- Indeed, dude, said Smells-Like-Cinnamon. We’ve got a natural talent for languages. And our oracles also allowed us to master all those languages that didn’t exist when we got extinct.

- Wow… Can I ask you something?

- Yeah?

- How do you say “your ass is so big I could bounce on it” in Omicronian?

- Fry! Said Leela, shocked.

- “Kluta berato git mopso”, replied the ghost. More or less, their conditional is pretty hard.

- Ooooooh… And “Did I step on a dog poo, or is it you?” in native Decapodian?

Bender, who was already beginning to feel blasé, let Fry try to enrich his vocabulary and took a better look at the books. It didn’t really entertain him one bit. Sure, at first, he was pretty amazed of the amount of books in the library, but very soon, his amazement disappeared. After all, those were just books. And with his luck there were no pictures in them. But after a while, something caught his eyes: a few feet above him, there were some books which were chained to the shelves, and next to them was a little sign saying “caution: read only if absolute necessity”. Now, this would probably be interesting.

- Hey, Has-The-Hibby-Jibbies or something!

Has-The-Hiccups stopped paying attention to Fry and looked at the robot.

- Yeah, dude?

- Why are those ones chained? Asked Bender, pointing to the books he noticed previously.

- Ah, I don’t think you’ll need ‘em, dudes, but they’re here if you ever need some extra information on your enemies, said the ghost. Those are the evilest books ever written, all of them dealing one way or the other with the Great-Devourers-From-Between-The-Universes. Reading them is enough for making you lose a fuse.

- Really? Said Leela. They’re that dangerous? Why do you keep them, then?

- So that no one else would have them, sis’, replied Smells-Like-Cinnamon. We’ve got Abdul Al-Rashid’s Metronomicon, the earl of Arlette’s Culte des moules, Von Buntz’ Die Schwachsinnige Kulten, the Panoramic manuscripts, the Cellophano fragments, Rupert Murdoch’s Why all the medias must be under my rule, Paris Hilton’s How to match shoes and handbags…

- Oh my God, no! Screamed Tyron. Kalt had all of those! Well, except Paris Hilton’s…

- Either he couldn’t find it, or even he has limits… Said Has-The-Hiccups. Anyway, now that you’ve found the books you’ll need, let us show you something else, dudes.

- What exactly? Asked Leela.

- Let’s just say we don’t only store books, here…

Has-The-Hiccups and Smells-Like-Cinnamon began to retrace their steps (well, it’s just a way of saying…) and to head back to the central alley. Fry, Leela, Bender and Tyron quickly followed them, and as soon as they got out of the shelves, the ghost headed to the center of the library. Leela wondered where they were taking them… She didn’t really pay attention to it before, as she spent most of her time looking up and on the sides, but now she finally realized that in the center of the building, was one closed room, like a large house inside the library, which was larger than the width of the alleys. As they got to the door of this room, she realized there were in fact four alleys in the library, each one leading to this room. The doors, although less high than the great ones leading outside, were still as wide as them and the alley they just walked on. Has-The-Hiccups made a simple gesture, and the door opened by itself. As the ghosts entered in the mysterious room, Leela, Fry, Bender and Tyron followed them.

The room was lighted by some strange stones that were stuck on the ceiling. In the middle, there was another large double door, but Leela noticed the pedestal that was standing just in front of them. On it, was posed a two feet long rod, made of some strange silvery matter that was shining and was emitting some kind of aura. It had a pointy extremity, but on its other side was some sort of star. Two four legged stars, in fact, that were intertwined, the biggest one looking like a + sign and the smallest one like a X. The ghosts faced the four fugitives, smiling, and designated the artifact.

- Look at this, dudes! Said Has-The-Hiccups. You’re looking at the badassest magical artifact ever conceived by a mortal!

- Is “badassest” even a word? Asked Bender.

- We called it the Star Rod, replied Smells-Like-Cinnamon. We created it just after we finished building the library, using all our magical resources in the process. Whenever one of our bro’ died, the rod momentarily examined his soul, and all the good and pleasant memories of his life, all the positive feelings he ever felt got turned into pure energy and stored inside the rod. Isn’t it cool?

- Sure, said Leela, suspicious. Must be. If I had the slightest idea of what it means.

- Simple, sis’: this rod is filled with positive energy, enough for breaking any negative spell that could be used against you, and accessorily destroy anything powered by black magic, provided you know how to use it. We put the manual in the books.

- Shortly, Has-The-Hiccups, when used against a meanie, it has the potential of a nuclear weapon, powered by the good karma of millions of beings. And believe me: we, Durganians, were full of good karma!

- Except Eats-All-The-Marmalade, said his colleague. He was an ass.

Bender whistled and scratched his chin. Now this was sure a lot more interesting than stupid books.

- The power of a nuclear weapon, you say?

- Yup, dude, said Has-The-Hiccups. We also designed it so that only pure individuals could wield. Errr… By “pure”, I mean “good” as opposed to “evil”, right? You don’t have to be a virgin, or sober, or not being high for this…

- Yeah, that wouldn’t be fun, said Smells-Like-Cinnamon. Can you imagine a life without all those things? Booooooring!

- But why doesn’t Kalt have it? Asked Leela.

- He didn’t know it existed, and after he learnt about it when he made his pact with What-Sleeps-In-Between, he couldn’t touch it or destroy it anymore without being destroyed himself, said Has-The-Hiccups.

- Then maybe we’ve got a chance! Said Tyron, excited.

- Yeah, but it would be a bit hard for you beginners to handle it, said Has-The-Hiccups. We had prepared some of the Sacred Hemp that would have opened your soul to its power, but we messed up something and it didn’t stand all those years.

Has-The-Hiccups pointed at a corner of the room behind the four fugitives, who looked in that direction. There were dozens of bags piled there, which were in a worse state of conservation than anything they saw in the library so far.

- Millions of years old dope? Said Bender. If you want to, I can dispose you of it!

- What’s behind this door? Said Fry, pointing to the strange entrance in the middle of the room.

The ghosts smiled once again. Without a word, Smells-Like-Cinnamon made a gesture which, somehow, forced the two leaves to open. Behind it, was a long and dark paved slope, that was going down to the bowels of the ground. The two ghosts began to float inside the passage.

- Another present that would help you defeating Kalt, finally said Smells-Like-Cinnamon. Follow us, dudes.

Fry, Leela, Bender and Tyron looked at each other, a bit hesitating about what they should do, but after a while, they finally began to walk behind the two ghosts. The slope was much longer than what they thought… In the far distance, Leela could see some lights ahead, produced by the same kind of stones than in the room of the Star Rod. There was something just in front of them, next to the lighting stones… A door, apparently, but it was a bit too far from her for being sure.

- Why would we need something else? Asked Tyron. If this Star Rod is that powerful, it should be enough for ending all this…

- You’re forgetting Kalt’s army, dude, replied Has-The-Hiccups. The Star Rod can only take care of one evil creature at a time, and then, it needs some time for fully replenish its capacities. You wouldn’t have any trouble if that son of a shmarg didn’t have hundreds of zombies at his disposal.

- Oh great, said Bender. Can’t we have some good news, for once?

At this time of the conversation, as they were getting closer to their goal, Leela saw that there was indeed a large door ahead, which was about as wide as all the previous doors they took before. The young woman thought that the Durganians had some strange architectural conceptions, as whoever who would want to reach this door (for example, themselves) would have to follow this unnecessary slope…

Suddenly, a bell rang in her mind. Maybe the slope was here because there was something beyond this door that needed it for getting out…

- Okay, so what’s that present? Asked Fry.

- Won’t tell you, dude, said Has-The-Hiccups. It’s a surprise.

- Oh please! Said Tyron. That’s not a very good moment for having secrets! We’re talking about getting rid of an entire undead army! You’re telling us that your ultimate weapon can’t be used against it, so unless we can get an entire army at our orders, we’re pretty screwed!

Has-The-Hiccups looked at Tyron. This time, his smile was particularly joyful, as if he just had heard a great joke.

- An army, you say?

Just like before, the door mysteriously opened by itself after Has-The-Hiccups made a gesture. And as the leaves slowly parted, and our four heroes saw what was beyond…

They had the feeling they got smacked on the head with a mace.

Fry needed some very long seconds for being able to talk again.

- Ooooooooooooooooooh…

If we can call this “talk”.

- Planet in sight, master.

Kalt didn’t reply anything to his subordinate. He was way too annoyed for keeping with his “sociable captain” act anymore. Those stupid worms were showing much more resistance than he thought they would do, and despite the terror he was inspiring to his men, they still couldn’t stop them from getting away. Such a situation never occurred during the past two hundred years, and that’s what was really making him furious: everything was going perfectly well, and it’s just when he was finally about to succeed that things were getting unnecessarily complicated! For the first time since their zombification, his men had a clear view of what he was able to do when he couldn’t control his anger anymore. The only ones who got spared by his insane torture spree were those who were vital for the ship’s maintenance and the navigators; during the last hours, the Crimson Monarch had been resounding with the screams of pain of the undead creatures. When Kalt found the three pilots he sent after them, floating in the spatial void, and when he realized they clearly had failed in their mission, he rescued them for two main reasons. First, although he had a complete control over them, he didn’t have an infinite supply of minions, and he had to preserve every single one of them for the following hours. Second, he hoped that torturing them himself would help him relax a bit.

It didn’t work. It was entertaining, but not to the point of getting reinsured about the following events. At least, because of his complete control on his minions’ mind, he didn’t have to worry about a potential mutiny.

But what really was driving him mad was Tyron. He should have known the very first time he met him that the lieutenant would be a pain in the neck. But it was too late for regrets. For the moment, the warlock was reduced to elaborating the various “games” he would play with his former second-in-command…

- Open the shutters, said Kalt.

One of the navigators immediately pushed a button, and in front of Kalt, the shutters that were protecting the cockpit’s windshield slowly opened. The view he was having at this moment would certainly have enchanted the warlock’s heart if he would still be able to have positive feelings. The planet of the Durganians’ library was covering a large part of his field of vision, and he could even see the continents thanks to the total absence of clouds. The Edge of the Universe was also stretching just above the Crimson Monarch. Kalt scowled. They were here. He could feel their essence on the planet’s ground, just as he was expecting. The fouls. Instead of trying to fly away and to get out of the sector he was controlling (which was the most reasonable possibility, but would still be impossible to achieve), they decided to go there and to fight him.

Fine. It suited him that they were easing his work.

- Master? The instruments are recording a strange activity in the planet’s atmosphere… It’s as if its whole composition was changing… What are your orders?

Exactly what he was expecting. Thanks to his altered senses, Kalt could see what was causing those disturbances. The planet’s self-defense “system”, put in place by the Durganians, got activated as the Crimson Monarch, and more precisely Kalt himself, was getting closer to the planet. A force-field, invisible for anybody who wasn’t well-versed in magic, was now preventing any servants of the Great-Devourers-From-Between-The-Universes to land on its soil by covering the entire planet.

Kalt smiled. He never tried to come back to the planet since his pact with What-Sleeps-In-Between, but it was because there was nothing else that would be useful for him on it. The magical force-field never worried him.

- Slow down the ship to its minimal speed, ordered Kalt to his subordinates, and go on until the front of the Crimson Monarch touches the barrier. Be extremely careful, because otherwise we would crash on it.

- Alright, sir.

The following minutes looked like months for Kalt, who was growing impatient to see all of this finally come to an end. Pretty quickly, the Crimson Monarch switched from its cruise speed of mach 12 to a mere 5 MPH… But even at such a slow speed, the entire ship got severely shaken when it came in contact with the force-field. It was as if they just ran on brick wall… A 100 meters thick brick wall. Kalt managed to stand still, but some of his men in the ship weren’t that lucky… And a loud and low-pitched roar, coming from the deepest bowels of the ship, indicated him that the Shaaash didn’t like this agitation either.

- And now, master?

- Wait for my orders.

Kalt walked to the nose of the ship, which was now touching the force-field, and stopped just a few feet before reaching the most advanced part of the cockpit. Just in front of him, the force-field was making everything look green, continents as well as seas. The warlock opened his shirt and got something out of the pocket that he added in it: the ceremonial dagger he used, centuries ago, for getting beyond the edge of the universe. A few blood stains were still tainting the blade, remembering him what happened to the sacrifices he offered to What-Sleeps-In-Between for contacting him. Kalt looked over him, and as he used a glimpse of his power, the ceiling opened up, leaving a passage to the outside. The undead captain then levitated for getting out, and as he got past the opening in the ship’s hull, the hole closed for allowing Kalt to stand on something solid. None of this caused a depressurization in the cockpit.

Kalt tried to pose his hand on the force-field, but he quickly retrieved it when a few sparkles hit it. His palm was now covered with burns, but he quickly regenerated those scratches. Amusing. Kalt looked again at his dagger. This force-field was certainly strong enough for repelling any low-grade servant of What-Sleeps-In-Between… But he was impregnated with a microscopic figment of his master’s power that was still making him a half-god, and the dagger acted like a key to his master’s realm. This barrier wouldn’t be too much trouble.

Kalt suddenly stabbed the force-field with his weapon. The force-field immediately reacted to its contact with an artifact charged with so much evil energy, and bolts of pure magic burst forth. Some of them hit Kalt, but the warlock withstood them without even looking injured. Instead, he began to concentrate his powers in order to transfer them to the blade. And as he proceeded like this, the dagger began to go deep in the force-field, as if it lost most of its solidity. Kalt concentrated a bit more, and this time cracks began to appear, starting from the point where the dagger was getting in the force-field. Some magical bolts were still bursting now and then, but the force-field was definitely weakening, unable to resist to such amounts of negative energy. The cracks kept on spreading on the force-field’s surface, and from a few meters away from the dagger, they were now getting to several miles around. Kalt could have done more, but he decided to keep his reserves for later… As soon as the force-field got cracked on a surface that was getting satisfying, he finally released his powers through the blade. Incalculable amounts of negative energy suddenly poured down on the force-field, which couldn’t withstand such a treatment any longer. And everywhere where it was already cracked, the force-field exploded as if it was made of glass, large chunks of its structure falling to the planet’s ground before dissolving in the atmosphere. There was now a large hole inside the force-field, a hole that was of several square miles large, and which was large enough for allowing the Crimson Monarch to finally enter in the planet’s atmosphere. Kalt opened a hole in the ship’s hull just under his feet, and quickly got back in the cockpit. He immediately faced the navigators.

- Activate the engines, gentlemen. Get in quickly, the force-field will soon regenerate itself.

- Yes, master.

The Crimson Monarch went through the fault in the mystical barrier… And for the first time in billions of years, the ship of an evil entity entered in the atmosphere of the planet.

The trip to the library took only a few seconds, and soon the majestic building appeared in Kalt’s field of vision. It was exactly as he left it two hundreds years ago, but as they came closer, some strange feelings took hold of his mind. It wasn’t fascination, anguish, impatience, or anything he felt during the last few hours… No, it was something he couldn’t really describe. Despite what he was seeing, he could feel that something did change in the library. Something was going on inside… For one second, he thought of a huge animal that was sleeping, but was now slowly awakening…

He quickly evacuated this thought. The only thing that would awaken would be his god.

- Land the ship in the alley in front of the library’s southern door. (Kalt activated the internal communicator.) Attention, attention: all the men must now get to the ship’s exits. I want all of you to be ready in 5 minutes. Only the navigators are allowed to stay at their post. Second classes Juarez, Slick, McBane, Oddjob-6 and Vogel: assemble our guests, and join me as fast as possible. Over.

The navigators didn’t want to make their master wait any longer… In a matter of seconds, breaking the various statues that would be on its way, the gigantic ship landed in front of the library, in an astounding uproar, coming from the engines but also from the ship’s structure which was protesting to this treatment. Without Kalt’s power, the Crimson Monarch would have dislocated itself as soon as it would have touched the ground, but only the sound of cracking metal was indicating this fact when you were looking from the outside. The ship’s exit steps quickly got deployed, and instantaneously, waves after waves of undead creatures went out and walked towards the front of the ship. Kalt’s crew in full was now out of the Crimson Monarch for the first time in hundreds of years… Hundreds of zombies and rusted robots, all of them in various stages of decomposition, all of them still willing to carry on their master’s orders at all costs despite what he did to them, because they couldn’t do differently. They took their position, as a regular army would do, making a compact crowd. Kalt got out of the Crimson Monarch the same way he went out for breaking the planetary force-field, this time jumping on the ground instead of standing on the ship’s hull. His men immediately parted for letting him get to the front. And as he was walking among his men, the strange feeling Kalt had before came back. Something really wasn’t right… This was way too easy…

The warlock quickly got in the first ranks of his army. Despite his lack of humanity, he got a bit fascinated by the size of the buildings… The Crimson Monarch was at its climax one of the largest spaceships ever built, and his army was largely stretching behind him, and yet there was a vast open space in front of them…

Kalt made a few more steps on the paved alley, and finally he stopped. There were still dozens of meters between him and the great door to the library, but it should be enough.

- It’s useless to hide yourselves, gentlemen! Screamed Kalt. I know you’re here! Don’t even think of escaping: even if you start to fly away right now, I would still be able to catch you before you would have gotten out of the atmosphere! Show yourself and act reasonably, and maybe I will forget all the troubles you got me into!

For a few seconds, the silence.

Then, a small door opened in the great gate. Leela, Fry, Bender and Tyron quickly got out of it. The young man and the robot were obviously devoured by fear, but the young woman and Kalt’s former lieutenant were looking much calmer. This started to worry Kalt a little bit… And it got a bit worse when he felt that something extremely powerful was nearby. The warlock also noticed Leela had her arms in her back, and that they were all wearing a talisman he never saw before, except for the robot… Those talismans, made of silver, were looking like a pentagram in a circle, and were indeed charged with mana. But nothing he couldn’t handle. It was something that was buzzing him off.

Kalt sighed. No, they really didn’t want to act reasonably…

- There, we’re here, Kalt, said Leela. What do you want?

- Please, Leela, I thought that you were a bit more enlightened than your companions… Said Kalt.

- Uh? Said Fry. What?

- He says we’re dumb, replied Bender.

- As if I waited a dead guy’s opinion for knowing that!

- Quite amusing, worm, said Kalt. But maybe you should let the adults talk? (The warlock went back to Leela, letting Fry sulk in his corner and mumble about how everybody was always letting him out of grown-ups talks.) For answering your question, dear Leela… I want the four of you, of course. As for you, Tyron (and Kalt looked at his former lieutenant) your fate is much more trivial. After having met Leela here and have a private moment with her, I’m sure my Lord would like a snack.

- I must warn you, replied Tyron, this will certainly not please it. I taste horribly.

- Then I’ll have to find you another use. I’m sure I’ll think about one when the time will come. Oh, and don’t refer to His Holiness as “it”…

- Looks like we don’t have anything to gain in this negotiation, do we?

Kalt snickered.

- Who talked about negotiation? You surrender, and all this will be pretty quick and the less painful as possible, or we’ll do this the hard way. I just wanted to make everything clear. Besides, you’re not really doing it appropriately either…

- What do you mean? Said Leela.

- You came with a weapon. It’s not really in the negotiator manual. Would you please stop taking me for an idiot and show me what you’re hiding in your back?

Leela didn’t seem to be troubled at all by what Kalt said, but as for Fry and Bender, they looked at each other with pretty worried expressions. Leela finally showed Kalt what she was holding… And when he saw the silvery rod shine in the strange light provided by the Edge of the Universe, Kalt tensed up a little bit.

- Oh. The Star Rod. Of course. Too bad I heard about it way too late, I would have destroyed it before it would have been used by anybody.

- You would never have been able to destroy it, Kalt, said Tyron. It represents a power that even you can’t match.

- Tyron, Tyron, Tyron… As stubborn and impulsive as when you were alive! You know, sometimes, I miss all those talks we had together. We pretty often disagreed, but at least I was talking to someone who was almost as educated as me…

- Not me. I always thought you were a pompous bastard.

- A pompous bastard, maybe, but a pompous bastard with some class…

- Look, said Bender, it’s not like I don’t enjoy watching domestic quarrels, but can’t you admit you can’t have us? As long as we have this thingy we can blast your ass out to dust…

- Yes, you could, replied Kalt. But you won’t. First, you may have a powerful artifact at your disposal, but you’re not skilled enough for using it properly, not even you, Tyron (nice work with my fighters, by the way). I would have defeated you before you would even have started to raise it. Second, I know the limits of the Star Rod. And I know it can’t help you in a fight against… Oh, about 412 soldiers who are all under my command. So, unless you’ve got some surprise for me…

And at this moment, Kalt knew he should have shut up. Only now, could he feel the vast amounts of mystical activities that were working inside the library and had mysteriously been kept secret to him until. And seeing the sarcastic smile on Leela’s face only reinforced his intuition.

The great door suddenly began to open behind the four fugitives… And as the leaves were moving apart, Kalt heard some worrying noises… He quickly understood it was a trample.

And finally, when he saw what was causing it, he bit his lower lip.

The Durganians were among the firsts to discover all the mystical secrets of the universe. One of them was how to give a semblance of life to an inanimate object. When they carved on a statue’s forehead the three letters of their alphabet that together were meaning “move” and perform some additional rituals, it would be able to move by itself, and to accomplish any tasks that their master could have ordered them to do. Gifted with the resistance of the matter that was used for making them and with the strength of a colossus, those animated statues were used by the Durganians for all the physical tasks that had to be done, and that the alien wizards didn’t want to do because it was over their limits or because there was something good on TV. Or because they were too stoned. Those statues weren’t alive in the strict meaning of the term, and as a result couldn’t feel pain, be wounded, fall sick, they didn’t need to drink, eat, or sleep; the only way to stop them was to erase the first letter of the sacred word on their forehead, which then would be changed into “nap”. The Durganians never named those creatures, but because of the strange similarities with an old jewish legendary creature, Leela decided to call them the golems.

But those golems could have other uses.

And when the Durganians disappeared, they let the last golems they still had at the disposal of whoever would have to fight an army of evil creatures.

Now, hundreds of those golems, each one made of the same green stone that had been used for building the library, looking like a bald grappler without any nose and mouth, and measuring more than 2 meters high were getting out of the library, taking positions. And as Tyron performed the ritual for awakening them, they were at the orders of the fugitives.

Leela smiled even more.

- Surprise!

Kalt immediately backed off, but he didn’t have to order to his men to attack. Those who had nothing else than blunt and edged weapons with them charged the golems, while those who had a working lasergun tried to shoot at the animated statues without hurting their colleagues. A good thing for Kalt that since their zombification they couldn’t be afraid of anything except him, otherwise most of them would certainly have tried to flee the very moment the golems appeared.

Too bad that it was still not making them a match for the stone golems.

The statues charged as soon as the zombies attacked them. Between the trampling of the various warriors (the golems’ being even louder because of their stone bodies) and the war cries of Kalt’s men, anybody would have had to protect his ears because of the noise. And the first shock was even worse. The various weapons started to scream in the battlefield, hitting stone and sometimes pulverizing it, while several bodies were already flying over the fighters, broken up. Connected to their master, who heard about the characteristics of the golems, Kalt’s men knew what the weakness of their foes was, but between knowing it and being able to use it was a rather wide gap… Those who had a rifle were trying to aim at the first letter of the golems’ magical word, in order to destroy it, but most of them weren’t exactly sharp shooters and very few of the golems were really worried about them. For the others, the work wasn’t requiring as many skills, but it didn’t mean it was easier. At one moment, one of the zombies used his lead bar for hitting one of the golems at his knee. The hit exploded the stone, making the golem trip and fall on the floor. Another one of the zombies used this opportunity for hitting the statue’s head with the huge wrench he was using. The stone cracked where the first letter of the golem’s magical word was, erasing it and breaking the spell that was giving life to it.

The zombies, however, couldn’t congratulate each other. Another golem grabbed the both of them and smashed their heads on the floor, before using their bodies as clubs for hitting his comrades.

Meanwhile, Fry, Leela, Bender and Tyron were doing their best for staying alive in the mess. Tyron ordered to three of the golems to stay with them and to protect them, but in all the confusion, it wasn’t sure they could always be with them…

- Oh my god! Screamed Fry. On what did I just walk? Is it… EWWWWW!

- Gross! Replied Bender. Why do you humans have to carry so much goo in your skull?! That’s just disgusting!

- Stop whining and focus! Screamed Leela. We must find Kalt and kill him with the Star Rod! That’s the only way to stop all this!

- Can’t we just let the big guys do the entire job? Said Fry. They’re doing pretty well…

- Certainly not! Replied Tyron. The golems may be way stronger than Kalt’s men, but we don’t have an infinite supply of them, whereas Kalt can regenerate his troops just by snapping his fingers! Besides, even if the golems were three times more numerous, they would still not be able to beat Kalt!

- Oh come on, have you seen how tough they are? Said Bender.

- Sorry to tell you this, but Kalt’s magical powers outclasses brute strength… The only way to counter the magic that is keeping him alive is to use an even greater magic!

- Tyron’s right, dude…

Has-The-Hiccups and Smells-Like-Cinnamon suddenly materialized next to Fry, who nearly had a heart attack in the process.

- Gaaah! Can’t you warn when you do this!

- Sorry, dude, said Has-The-Hiccups, but in all this mess…

- Wooooooow, dude! Exclaimed Smells-Like-Cinnamon. I heard ‘bout violence before, but I never thought I would see it in my death!

- Well, I already did, and I know it enough for wanting this to end quickly! Said Leela, who also knocked down one of the zombies with a roundhouse kick. How can we find Kalt in this crowd?

- Sis’, did you forget about the talismans we gave you? Said Smells-Like-Cinnamon.

- You didn’t take time to explain us what they’re good for!

- Oh, yeah, sorry…

At this moment, one of the bodyguard golem grabbed a zombie that was running on them, torn one of his arm off and began to club him with it. Bender hesitated between being scared or laughing…

- Yeah, so, those damn things? Said the robot.

- Dude, usually, anybody can use magic, said Has-The-Hiccups, but it requires months for learning how to open up one’s mind to it. Except when you’ve been the victim of some spooky mystical accident…

- Like when my soul got trapped in this rotting body? Said Tyron.

- Exactly, dude. We didn’t have time, so we gave you another of our finest inventions. Those talismans allow you to immediately feel magic and to manipulate it if you concentrate enough. Or, in the case of Tyron, to increase your ability with it.

- And why didn’t I get one? Asked the robot.

- Robots can’t feel magic, dude… Lack of sensibility and all those things…

- That’s discrimination! Yelled Bender. I can be extremely sensitive if I want, you dirty legless ectoplasm!

- Hey, chill out, dude, it’s a question of biology! Said Smells-Like-Cinnamon.

- Doesn’t look extremely terrific… Said Fry.

- Dude, we needed centuries for making them! It required all our knowledge!

- I thought the Star Rod already monopolized it? Said Leela.

- We sorta tried to do too many things at once, sis’… Said Has-The-Hiccups, embarrassed. Some of our projects never got finalized…

- Yeah, like the Universal Peace formula… Said Smells-Like-Cinnamon. Don’t know why it failed, we were all about peace and love… But even the Sacred Herb That Makes You Laugh and the Pills That Makes You See Everything In Technicolor didn’t help us to find it.

- Can we please get back to how we use those talismans? Asked Tyron.

- Just concentrate on Kalt, and the talismans will automatically tell you where he is.

- That’s all it does? Said Fry. But what if we have to fight? I don’t think we can…

- Look out!

Fry didn’t get why Leela suddenly screamed at him immediately, but when he finally looked in front of himself, he saw the zombie who, somehow, managed to escape from the grasp of one of the golem and was now running at him, rising his mace. Leela tried to run in order to save the young man and the golem tried to catch back the zombie, but Fry, scared to death, could only see that in a few seconds, the undead would be on him. In a moment of panic, the young man held his hand out in a desperate attempt to stop the undead’s attack when it would come.

- Nooo! Don’t touch me!

And just as the zombie was about to hit him, an electric bolt got out of Fry’s hand and struck Kalt’s minion, throwing him backwards and burning him severely. The golem who let him pass didn’t make the same mistake a second time and this time stamped on him. When Fry finally realized he was safe (at least for the moment), he looked at his hands, completely disoriented. Leela, Bender and Tyron were looking at the young man with wide opened eyes. Only the Durganian ghosts were smiling.

- That’s the spirit, dude, said Has-The-Hiccups. There are a few more tricks you’ll have to learn from yourself.

Fry’s surprise turned into excitement.

- WHOA! LOOK AT ME, I’M A WIZARD! I DID A SPELL!

- Okay, I get it, mumbled Bender, the fun things are for the meatbags… Even the rotting one!

- That sure is impressive, said Leela. At least, now we’ll all be able to stand against Kalt… Well, except for Bender…

- Yeah, Big Boots, just rub it in, that’ll be cool…

- Oh please, Bender, it’s not the moment for being jealous!

- Easy to say for you!

- So I can also use this for locating Kalt?

- Yeah, sis’, said Has-The-Hiccups. Think really hard about him, and the talisman will show you the way to him.

Leela was still a bit skeptical, but after what Fry did, she wouldn’t need an extremely impressive event for being entirely convinced. She tried to concentrate on Kalt, to remember how he was looking like, and to have a clear vision of the warlock… And suddenly, a bright red ray went out of the talisman. Surprised, she needed a few seconds for realizing that the ray wasn’t hurting anybody. But also that it was clearly moving a bit to the right…

She finally understood. That red ray was pointing to Kalt. All they had to do was to follow it and they would find him.

- After me! Screamed Leela. Prepare yourselves, guys, we’ll have to fight our way!

At first, Kalt didn’t notice the red ray that was touching him, but he finally felt the slight mystical disturbance that was caused by it. He immediately knew what it meant, but it didn’t really surprise him. They couldn’t reach him quickly, what with all his men on the battlefield, and he only had to find the men that were carrying his “package”. He ordered them to stay close to the ship, so he wouldn’t have too many problems… But he had to hurry.

Around him, things were really getting bad for his men… The golems were really strong and resistant, and his men weren’t trained to face them. But in the end, the situation would change drastically. Sure, the golems were doing a slaughter, but some of them had already been defeated. While his fallen minions were quickly regenerated by his magic, which was more or less assuring him to have an infinite supply of soldiers. Their enemies didn’t have the same chance.

But healing his wounded fighters was requiring quite a large part of his capacities… Weakened as he was, it wasn’t sure he could face his preys, especially as they had the Star Rod at their disposal. He needed an upgrade… And luckily, he prepared it before the fight.

One of the golems ran at him, making the ground shake as a rampaging elephant would. Kalt only had to raise his hand and to shoot a single magic bolt to the creature’s head to destroy its magical word and to “kill” it. Another one down. He continued to run to the Crimson Monarch.

Finally, he got out of the battlefield, and he immediately saw the four men and the robot he let behind. Just as he hoped, they were guarding six huge suitcases. His men were apparently troubled by what was going on not so far away from them, but at least they brought all he needed. The robot went to meet his master.

- Sir, we gathered all of them and we got them out of the ship. But are you sure it’s…

- Open them immediately. And if you discuss my orders once again, I’ll send you in the middle of the battlefield.

- Yes, sir.

The robot and the others quickly obeyed to their master… They unlocked the suitcases, and then posed them vertically. Kalt smiled. Encased in foam, six hundred and sixty-four little bottles were shining under the white light of the edge of the universe. In each one of them, a worried or scared tiny face was floating.

All the victims of Kalt’s madness, gathered in front of him.

Kalt still needed two souls for accomplishing the ritual for awakening his god, but it would still be enough.

Patrick’s soul looked at Kalt.

- What’s going on, Kalt? I guess you didn’t let us out for a pick-nick…

- I’m afraid not, Patrick, replied Kalt. I need your help.

- No one here will help you, scum! Screamed Kelgo.

- You don’t really have the choice, my friend. You know, I didn’t want to use you prematurely, but some circumstances are forcing me to do otherwise.

- Like you having your butt kicked? Said Buck. Because looking from here, things aren’t going well for your rotting lapdogs!

- A minor annoyance, nothing more. (Kalt looked at the men surrounding the suitcases.) Gentlemen, get ready…

- Kalt?

- Yes, Patrick?

- I really hope you’ll burn in hell.

Kalt smiled viciously.

- Unfortunately, if I ever go there, it would likely get frozen.

Kalt made a gesture… And his men grabbed the suitcases and knocked over their contents. Hundreds of bottles smashed on the ground, forming a pile of broken glass. The ones that got spared got trampled by Oddjob-6. A thick blue fog quickly appeared over the pile of broken glass… It was the souls that were trapped in the bottles, all of them stuck in the physical realm because of Kalt… And unfortunately, they still weren’t free. Kalt began to breathe in, and the fog got sucked in his lungs. For a few seconds, nothing happened. But then, Kalt screamed… The souls were now spreading in his entire organism, allowing him to open even more his consciousness to magic. In other words, the 664 souls were making Kalt even more powerful than he already was, allowing him to protect his army while developing a power great enough for facing the Star Rod. If he had swallowed two more souls, he would have been able to break the barrier between the universes, awake his god and help him to come in this universe. Something he was determined to achieve in a few minutes.

The process was now over… Kalt could feel the power rush into his veins. He was so opened to magic that some of it was escaping from all the pores of his skin, as if some blue smoke was coming out of him. The warlock looked at his hands, and decided to test his newfound powers. Using a tiny part of his magic, Kalt tried to regenerate his body, so that it would be as if he was completely alive. What really startled him was how easily he managed to do this… The parts of his body that decomposed over time quickly grew again, covering the exposed parts of his organism. The hole over his heart closed. His jaw was once again covered with flesh. A new eye appeared in his formerly hollow orbit. Even his clothes got repaired, as if he just got them for the DOOP supplies.

The warlock was once again completely alive, and this time, it wasn’t an illusion.

Kalt looked at the battlefield.

- Excuse me, gentlemen, said Kalt to his men. I have an appointment with our guests…

- Zippo!

Just as Fry pronounced the sacred word, a fireball went out of his hand and hit the little group of zombies in front of him. As they immediately caught fire, Kalt’s minions tried to smother the flames by rolling on the floor. It only helped the few golems which were around and were about to smite them. But Fry, Leela, Bender and Tyron were already away, letting the golems take care of the foes.

- Hehehe, I’m starting to like this! Said Fry.

- Don’t waste your energy, said Tyron. We need to be at our maximal strength when we’ll face Tyron!

- Then why the heck am I following you?! Replied Bender. I can’t use magic, dammit! He’s going to beat me senseless!

- You prefer being left alone in this mess? Said Leela, still following the red ray that was indicating Kalt’s position.

- Isn’t there a “stay out of the trouble” option?

- Too late for this, Bender. Now we’ve…

Suddenly, a zombie jumped on Leela and tried to attack her. A single punch of the young woman was enough for making him get out of the way. For the moment, her fighting skills were enough for dealing with their enemies.

-… Got to go further. And if you really feel don’t feel right, we still have our bodyguards…

- Those empty-headed oafs? Bah! I don’t see them help us that much!

Just behind the robot, one of the golem bodyguards grabbed two zombies who tried to get the robot from behind and threw them dozens of yards away.

The battle was still getting well for the golems, which were still making a real massacre in the ranks of Kalt’s army, but the situation wasn’t as good as it was a few minutes ago… The golems had made an extremely high number of victims, but just as Kalt was thinking, each undead who got beaten was regenerating. Moreover, the surprise effect caused by the nature of their opponents was progressively disappearing among Kalt’s men. They were starting to plan some tactics for bringing down the golems, like managing to make them trip and then attack them while they were down, or having the most agile of them climb in their back while they were distracted by some of the zombies for breaking the part of their forehead on which the sacred word was written. Moreover, a few of Kalt’s men managed to bring some explosives with them, and they were extremely effective on the golems. The number of loss amongst the golems was still low compared to the one of their opponents, but the problem was that it was permanent.

And now, Kalt was really getting in the fight… And the chances of success of the fugitives’ army started to drop. Strengthened by the souls he swallowed, he wasn’t restraining himself anymore, and he could heal his men and inflict huge damages in the golems’ army at the same time. He was using different strategies according to the situation. He was shooting energy beams at the golems for destroying them. He used the cold inside of him for freezing some of them. He lifted others just by the power of his mind before throwing them to the stratosphere so that they would shatter when they would land again. Even his physical strength had been altered so that he could fight mano a mano, in which case he was once again always victorious as despite their strength the golems weren’t a match for him in this domain either.

But it weren’t the golems that were interesting Kalt. The warlock was destroying them because they were on his way, but he was looking for Fry, Leela, Bender and Tyron as well as they were looking for him. And after a while, as he was standing on a little pile of destroyed golems, he finally saw them, running at him. The smile he made was revealing his teeth, especially his canines. He could play a little bit with his future victims, at last… And as they were apparently using some kind of low-level magic, he’d have to be a bit more “vigorous” than before. A ball of energy grew in his hand, and when he felt it was big enough, he threw it in the direction of his four opponents.

Tyron was the first one to realize what was about to happen. As he saw the ball of energy flying on them, it was already too late for getting out of its trajectory. He only had time for yelling a word.

- Shield!

Suddenly, a forcefield, similar to the one that protected the planet from any evil invasion in the past, surrounded the whole group, including the bodyguard golems. Surprised, Leela was about to ask Tyron why he did this… When the ball hit the forcefield.

It was as if someone kicked a case full of nitroglycerin. The violence of the explosion threw all the nearby fighters, zombies and golems alike, in the air, and forced others on several yards to fall on the floor. The blast itself could have destroyed any living creatures’ eardrums, and during a fraction of second, all the surroundings got engulfed in a fire as hot as a star’s. When it was all over, a vast cloud of smoke was rising in the clear sky.

The forcefield protected Fry, Leela, Bender, Tyron and their bodyguard golems… From most of it. It however couldn’t resist all the violence of the explosion. They all got blown away by the explosion, and were now separated, each one some yards away from each other. Knocked down, they were slowly regaining their consciousness, but the situation was even worse for Bender, as one of the golems fell on him and had its head destroyed by the explosion. The robot was now trapped under a few hundreds pounds of stone. Fortunately, Kalt’s men had been more stunned by the explosion than the golems, and were still busy with them, so none of them tried to attack while they were weakened.

There was another reason, however. Their master wanted to take care of them himself.

Tyron was the first one to manage to get back on his feet. Still dizzied, the undead however needed a few seconds for thinking clearly again. As soon as everything started to work properly again, he immediately remembered about the others. He had to find them, and quickly, before they would suffer from another attack! Tyron looked everywhere around, trying to see where his friends (and Bender) could be, but with all the smoke, he had the greatest difficulty to even know in which direction the library was. But after a few seconds, a masculine silhouette appeared in his field of vision. He began to walk in its direction.

- Fry? Fry, are you alright? Where are…

Tyron froze.

As the smoke dissipated a bit, he saw it was Kalt who was facing him, but a different Kalt than the one he saw a few hours before. The warlock was now looking alive, just like before he drove the Crimson Monarch in the space between the universes. He wasn’t decomposed anymore, his outfit wasn’t torn… But in a way, he was even more frightening than he ever was. He was smiling exactly the same way he did when he stabbed him with his ceremonial dagger, and now, his eyes were two small blocks of ice, indicating the real inner nature of his former superior.

- Good afternoon, lieutenant Tyron.

Tyron felt all the power running in the warlock’s veins… And he knew that despite his talisman and his mystical skills, he just couldn’t defeat Kalt in a duel. His only hope was to manage to escape from him until he would have found the Star Rod. Maybe if he managed to distract him…

- Shock!

Instantaneously, an energetic shockwave came out of his hand, one powerful enough for destroying a wall brick. Tyron hoped it could have knocked Kalt long enough for allowing him to escape…

But Kalt absorbed it… And before Tyron could have moved away, he sent back the spell at his former subordinate. The shock lifted Tyron off the ground, burning his outfits and his skin superficially, and the landing itself was even more violent than when he got tossed away by the explosion. Kalt walked calmly towards Tyron.

- You’re disappointing me, Tyron… How could you even think it could have worked?

Tyron managed to turn his head to look at the warlock who was coming closer… The pain was slowing his thoughts, but a little part of his mind knew he would never manage to get out of this in one piece. All he could do was to gather all his strength for one last spell…

- Shield!

Another forcefield appeared, this one surrounding Tyron only. Despite the undead’s weakness, it was supposedly as solid as the ones before. Kalt simply smiled… And pulled his ceremonial dagger out of his jacket. Tyron’s eyes widened when he saw it.

- You recognize this, don’t you? Said Kalt. Stabbing you in the heart once wasn’t apparently enough, let’s see what happens if I do this a second time!

Tyron tried to concentrate on his forcefield for making it as solid as he could, but as soon as the blade touched it, Tyron immediately felt all the negative energy that was contained in the weapon… Despite all his efforts, Tyron couldn’t do anything for countering the attack… Kalt, as he was even stronger than when he destroyed the planet’s protection, quickly plunged the dagger deep enough for allowing him to break the forcefield and shattered it just by injecting a small part of his power in the blade. The repercussions of the annihilation of his forcefield caused Tyron to be knocked down by the shock, almost unconscious. Still holding his dagger, Kalt grabbed Tyron by his collar with his free hand and forced him to stand. Tyron would have fallen again if the warlock wasn’t holding him, but it didn’t seem to change anything in Kalt’s scheme.

- It’s been a pleasure, lieutenant, but I’m afraid our paths split here!

And without any further words, Kalt stabbed Tyron in the chest with the dagger.

Tyron screamed to the top of his lungs. Not only was the blade cutting his plexus and piercing his flesh, but moreover was the negative energy inside of it burning him like a white-hot poker. Despite the immeasurable pain, Tyron gave a look at the face of the warlock… The smile, the hideous smile and the strange light in the eyes of his tormentor was showing how much Kalt was enjoying what he was doing… And how much the captain had drifted off to the most insane perversity one could imagine.

Strangely, this sight gave back some will to Tyron. He just couldn’t let someone so demented take pleasure in his death… Tyron tried to concentrate on the talisman he was still wearing, trying to drift from it the power he would need for resisting to the pain. He could feel magic flowing in his body again, in small proportions maybe, but enough for what he intended to do.

Tyron grabbed Kalt’s hand, which was still holding the dagger’s handle, at the great surprise of the warlock… And channeling all his remaining energy in one last strike, he pushed on it the most he could. The blade broke quasi-instantaneously.

A sudden energy burst, coming from the broken dagger, moved the two opponents apart, even throwing Tyron on the floor. The burning sensation disappeared from Tyron’s wound, something he welcomed gladly, but the blade was still plunged in his body. At least, the pain wasn’t as unbearable as before…

Kalt, amazed, looked at the dagger’s handle he was still holding. That was upsetting. Really upsetting. Sure, he never really needed it, but this weapon had some value… It opened him the way to meet his master, allowing him to find enlightenment… Saying it had a sentimental value would certainly be too much, but it’s the closest description that could get an idea of the importance Kalt was giving to the weapon. He finally looked back at Tyron. This wasn’t a game anymore.

- You think I’m over with you, Tyron?

Kalt threw away the handle, and made a simple gesture at his former subordinate.

And the pain came back.

Tyron could feel his blood freeze, his flesh turning into ice… But what was the worst was that it wasn’t in his entire body. Only some chunks were turned into ice… And after a few seconds, Tyron’s skin began to crack at some point. Ice edges began to come out of his wounds, growing slowly. Kalt was impaling himself from the inside by freezing the water that was still in his cells. If Tyron wasn’t already dead, this would be enough for killing him. But in his state, it was causing an unbearable pain…

Tyron screamed.

- I’m only beginning to have fun, lieutenant!

After the explosion, Leela needed a few seconds for really recovering from the shock. Her head was hurting like hell, and a quick inspection made her realize she had one big bump on the top of her head, but apart from a few scratches and bruises, she had apparently nothing too worrying. More importantly, she was still holding the Star Rod. If she would ever have lost their only chance to…

She suddenly remembered she wasn’t alone when everything exploded.

Panicked, she began to look everywhere around her. Her heart stopped beating when she saw Fry lying, unconscious, a few feet away from here. She ran at the young man and quickly turned him to see if he was alright. Moving him didn’t manage to awake him, but Leela sighed of relief when she saw he was still breathing and that his heart was still beating. She couldn’t see any wounds on the young man’s body, but she didn’t really know how to properly examine someone who has had an accident. If only Zoidberg was with them…

She thought again. No, thank God Zoidberg wasn’t with them…

- Fry? Said Leela, shaking Fry and slapping a bit. Fry, wake up! Do you hear me?

She thought she couldn’t hold and burst into tears when Fry’s eyelids began to shake before fully open, but she managed to control herself. As the young man leaned on his elbow and began to rub his cheek, she finally let him go.

- Leela? What have I done again?

- Nothing, Fry, said Leela, smiling.

- Then why were you slapping me? You only do this when I goof…

- You were knocked down. After the explosion.

- What explosion? I was simply sleeping in my room, and then you come in and…

Fry suddenly remembered everything that happened.

- Crap! Am I the only one whose nightmares happen when he’s awake?!

- Yeah, well, we’ll try to answer this when it will be over. (Leela stood up, and helped Fry to do so. The young man rubbed his clothes for getting the dust out of it.) We can’t stay here forever. Where are the others?

- A ‘unno. Looks like we got separated by the explosion…

- Can’t be too far away, we were almost next to each other… But with all this smoke, it’s hard to see anything…

- Yeah, well I hope it doesn’t make you deaf, meatbags!

Fry and Leela looked at the same time in the direction where this last scream seemed to come from. All they saw at first was the remains of one of their bodyguard golems, lying on the floor several yards away from them, shattered… But when they saw the two metallic feet coming out of it, fidgeting as their owner was trying to get out, they quickly ran to it. And as they expected, on the other side, they could see Bender’s head emerging from the rest of the golem.

- About time you finally come to look after me, poozers!

- Bender! Said Fry. Are you alright, buddy?

- Oh yeah, I’m alright… There’s just that stupid huge stone guy who’s taking a small nap on my chest, but otherwise everything’s fine.

- Ah, good. For a moment I was worried.

- OF COURSE I’M NOT ALRIGHT, MORON!!! HELP ME GETTING OUT OF THIS THING INSTEAD OF STANDING HERE LIKE THE FREAKING LOBOTOMIZED BONOBO YOU ARE!

- But you’re a bending unit, said Leela. You bent steel girders that were weighing much more than that in the past…

- Well, it seems that my arms fell off because of the shock and are now stuck under the rest of this guy. When I said they are useless!

- Get it. Fry, help him, I must look after Tyron.

- What? But I’ll never able to move this!

- Fry, you still have your talisman, right? Can’t you use it for making things levitate? We saw the spell in those books…

- Oh, yeah, I remember. Time for a little Yoda impersonation!

Leela tapped Fry’s shoulder, a little way for her for telling him she knew he would succeed. She quickly turned on her feet and went away, hoping that Tyron wasn’t too far away. Fry, meanwhile, came back at Bender and made his fingers crack.

- Okay, I’m starting… Ready?

- Wait, you’re really gonna try to make this thing float?

- Yeah!

- A stone body made of a few tons of solid rock?

- Yeah!

- And it will certainly fly just over my body?

- I guess…

- Errrr, I think I can get out of this alone, I’ll just…

- Hover!

Fry held his hand to the remains of the golem, concentrating for getting as much power he could. The young man could feel an intense tension in his mind, but the stone body began to rise in the air, hovering a few inches above Bender. The robot wasn’t exactly reinsured, however…

- Be afraid, you mustn’t… Said Fry. Easy, it is…

- Yeah, that’s cool, but… Errrr… (The robot was really, really feeling uncomfortable.) Wouldn’t it be better if you’d concentrate on this thing instead of making some two-cents imitation?

- Fine, everything is. Control everything I do. In one minute you’ll be out of this… No wait, wouldn’t it be “In one minute out of this you’ll be”? Ah, I never quite knew how you do when there’s…

The stone suddenly fell on Bender again. The shock made Bender spit some of the internal chips that were in his mouth.

- DAMMIT! IT HURTS!

- Whoops! Said Fry, panicked. I’m sorry, Bender, I didn’t want to…

- STOP APOLOGIZING AND GET THIS CRAP OUT OF ME! AND IF YOU EVER TALK LIKE THAT STINKIN’ GREENY GNOME AGAIN, I’LL MAKE ZOIDBERG REMEMBER YOU SKIPPED HIS ANNUAL CHECK-UP THIS YEAR!

Meanwhile, Leela was wandering without a clear idea of where Tyron could have been. The whole place was still darkened by all the dust that had been blown away by the explosion, and it was only making everything more difficult than what it should have been. But something else was beginning to worry her. She could still hear the various noises produced by the battle between the zombies and the golems, but at her great surprise, none of Kalt’s men appeared yet and tried to catch them again. Maybe it was because they were too busy dealing with the golems, or because the explosion really knocked them down… But yet, it was still not explaining everything…

A scream put an end to her thoughts.

The young woman only needed a fraction of second for understanding it was a scream of pain… But what really pushed her to start running to the direction it came from was that she recognized who shouted it. It could only have been Tyron. He was way more far away from her than what she expected, and until she came closer, her undead guide screamed once again. She accelerated, despite the fact she still couldn’t see what was going on…

But suddenly, she went out of the cloud of smoke… And what she saw made her stop for a few seconds.

Tyron was crawling on the floor, screaming, doubled up with pain. Some crystals (or was it ice spikes? Leela couldn’t exactly tell from where she was) were coming out of his skin, and it was apparently what was causing him such suffering. Next to him, dominating him arrogantly and watching him with his cold eyes and a chilling smile on his face, was standing Kalt, as good looking as when Leela met him for the first time, when he was still hiding his real appearance from her. Kalt was staring at his former subordinate as if he could learn something from the torture Tyron was enduring… And looking at the warlock’s eyes was telling the young woman that he was really enjoying this sight.

Leela felt the rage rushing in her veins. Until this moment, the idea of crossing Kalt’s path was scaring her. But it was because he was linked to something completely irrational, something that she couldn’t really define. It was different from all the things she experienced before – even the most unusual things like Bender becoming a werecar. But something changed… With her talisman around her neck and the Star Rod in her hand, warming as if it was feeling Kalt’s presence and that it was finally about to do what it was built for, she could feel the magic floating around her, hidden in every single atoms of the universe. It wasn’t an abstract concept anymore… A little more practice, and she could even have touched it. And now that what she was facing wasn’t completely unknown anymore, her fear had disappeared. She brandished the Star Rod…

Kalt didn’t even look at her. He only did a small gesture, and an energetic shockwave rushed in her direction, destroying the paving stones that were between the warlock and her. Leela managed to avoid being hit only thanks to her amazing reflexes; she did a side roll at the very last fraction of second. She tried to stand up, but Kalt threw an energy ball that exploded just at her feet. The warlock didn’t put all his forces in the attack, as he still wanted her to be in one piece, but she got thrown away nonetheless. It didn’t take her too long to recover, but when she did, she realized that Kalt had abandoned Tyron for walking in her direction, smiling as if everything was over and as he already won.

The young woman was determined not to let the things end that way… In a glimpse she was once again standing on her feet, and before Kalt could do another move, she brandished the Star Rod. It seemed that the magical artifact knew what to do… It suddenly started to shine, emitting a pure white light that was even dispersing the smoke that was still floating around them. But it was more than just light… Kalt suddenly stopped and even started to sway, trying to protect his eyes from the luminosity; a light groan of pain came out of his lips, and Leela even saw some smoke beginning to come out of Kalt’s body. The light was literally burning the warlock, and for a few seconds, Leela began to hope she could have won…

But suddenly, Kalt held his hand out violently. Leela had the feeling she got hit at the wrist with a brick; the blow made her drop on the floor the Star Rod, which immediately stopped to shine as it got separated from its user. The young woman instinctively took her own hand which was now hurting her as if she really got hit by something, but she quickly forgot the pain and tried to take back the Star Rod. But Kalt didn’t let her grab her weapon… Another gesture from his part, and the Star Rod suddenly flew away, as if someone grabbed it and threw it away. Before Leela could try to run to get the staff back, she suddenly felt being pulled forward in the opposite direction by an invisible and irresistible force… More precisely, in Kalt’s direction. When she got close enough, the warlock grabbed her by her left arm. Out of despair, Leela tried to hit him in the face with her free fist. She nearly broke her hand: despite the pain she was now feeling, Leela managed to think that it was as if she tried to punch a brick wall. Trying to kick him in his nuts didn’t seem to have more success, and when she tried the few judo moves she knew, Kalt stood as stoic as a rock. Pulling one last trick, Leela posed her palm on Kalt’s face, and using the little things she learned a few hours ago about magic and using her talisman’s power, she made electric bolts come out of her hand. When she took it away, Kalt didn’t seem to have felt anything. Still smiling, he touched her forehead with his index.

- Quiet.

Suddenly, Leela felt that her limbs weren’t obeying to her orders anymore. She was still standing, but she just couldn’t do a single move anymore, and even less use the very few magical skills she found in her. Kalt smiled in a way that was showing his teeth. This could have been one extremely charming smile, one you would expect by some good-looking crooner who was about to start singing and seducing all the women in the audience… But it was more evoking a carnivore which was about to devour its prey than anything else.

- You know, my dear Leela, I feel really sorry that you hate me that much. In fact, I’m sure that if we put a lot of effort into it, we can become inseparable friends. Or maybe even more? Has someone ever told you that you were very attractive?

Leela replied by spitting on his face, the only move she could do at the moment. Kalt didn’t even bat an eyelid, but a quick look at his cold eyes proved he was extremely displeased by her proof of hostility.

- Leave your hands off me, Kalt!

- Would you please try to understand me, my dear? Said Kalt, wiping the saliva out of his face with his free hand. I spent the last two centuries with nobody else but my entirely masculine crew. Had my former superiors allowed women to join the DOOP fleet (something that ironically got accepted during my “absence”), I think those 200 years wouldn’t have looked so long… And for making things worse, everytime I caught a victim for My Lord, it had to be a man. You’re the first woman I met since my pact with What-Sleeps-In-Between, Leela. I tend to see that as a reward for my loyalty towards My Lord – especially considering you’re particularly fitting my tastes in women… Your unique eye just shines like a diamond to me, Leela. Or, if you prefer, I always loved exoticism…

- Listen, you disgusting nutjob… I break the legs of wackos like you on a daily basis! Wizard or not, if you ever try to do something with me, I’ll make you eat your family jewels, providing you still have them since you turned into maggot meat!

- As fierce as a tigress, just as I expected… Would you please continue? This is extremely arousing…

- You stinking perv! I will…

- You will do nothing that I don’t want you to do, my dear! Suddenly yelled Kalt, losing his temper. You can’t do anything! Tyron is broken, your so pricy Star Rod is out of your reach, and you’re under my control! And as soon as I will have swallowed your friends’ souls, you will satisfy My Master’s desires, and thus bringing him back to life! And finally… When he will have rejected you, when your mind will have been shattered… You will be mine…

Kalt’s face got closer to Leela… And the young woman thought she was about to vomit everything that was in her stomach when the warlock quickly licked her cheek. She felt an intense cold where the captain touched her, to the point that she thought her skin got frozen with the contact of his tongue.

- I don’t mind coming after my Lord, said Kalt, still smiling viciously. In fact, I take this as an honor.

And Kalt started to laugh, louder and louder, like only an evil mind could laugh. Leela’s terror reached a peak, as she knew she couldn’t do anything for getting out of his hold…

Just at this moment, someone got out of the smoke and ran at Kalt, screaming.

Surprised, the warlock stopped laughing and looked to see who the intruder was. Leela looked too, and she couldn’t believe what she saw: it was Bender, brandishing the Star Rod which was pulsating, his chest cavity deformed by the golem which fell on him. The weapon must have flown in his direction, and he decided to take it and try to take down Kalt with it. This didn’t bring any hopes to Leela… According to Has-The-Hiccups, Smells-Like-Cinnamon and Tyron (in other words, every one on their side who knew something about magic), robots couldn’t use it. Despite his efforts, his move was completely useless.

Kalt knew this. That’s why when he saw who was attacking him, he only emitted a little chuckling that was indicating his contempt and made a single gesture without even trying to avoid him. A shockwave immediately got out of the palm of his hand and struck the robot right at his chest cavity. The shock projected Bender backwards, but in a last moment of consciousness the robot threw the Star Rod in Kalt’s direction… And missed him from a few inches. The robot finally hit the ground. He didn’t seem to stand up again. Kalt got back at Leela… When he saw her panicked eyes, he got overwhelmed by a perverse pleasure.

- Don’t worry for your friend, he’s just knocked out. I still need him alive. Now, where were we, my dear? You’re really making me…

The sound of a sneaker squealing on stone.

Kalt’s following thoughts occurred during the very brief fraction of second he needed for turning round. Even the most outdated robot had enough calculation capacities for never missing a throw. In other words, Bender didn’t miss him: he wasn’t aiming him. And Kalt remembered also something else.

With Tyron, they were four.

While turning round, Kalt was already preparing his spell… But suddenly, his brain stopped working, just as he gasped. Shocked, amazed, his eyes recorded what he was seeing without him really analyzing everything.

Fry was just in front of him, his teeth grinding and his eyes almost burning because of the anger he was feeling. It was hard to be more enraged than the delivery boy was at this moment. But what catches Kalt’s attention despite his apathy was that Fry was also holding the Star Rod… And that he stabbed him with it, just below the plexus, with the pointed extremity. The eight-branched star was slightly glowing in the pale white light, just below his eyes.

The young man pushed the staff a bit further.

- DO NOT TOUCH HER, YOU FREAK!!!

The Star Rod began to shine… And Kalt screamed. He screamed like he never did before, as the Star Rod was starting to burn him, releasing its energy for destroying his corrupted flesh and annihilating his perverted soul. Fry, blinded, had to let it go. The warlock dropped Leela, and the young woman felt that the spell that was paralyzing her had gone off. She immediately kicked Kalt for sending him away; she guessed that unlike her previous attacks, the warlock did feel this one, as he backed off because of the hit. But it seemed to be the least of his worries. The Star Rod was now almost as shiny as a star, and Kalt could feel his powers disappear, and more importantly his immortality being taken out of him, causing a pain he couldn’t conceive. He tried to grab the artifact for pulling it out of his body, but the Star Rod was now burning so intensively he couldn’t keep his fingers on it. Kalt realized he was truly disaggregating, and he could feel his cells being progressively destroyed by the Star Rod’s power.

Fry ran at Leela, who was staring at Kalt, stunned by the turn of the events. She nearly knocked her friend when he grabbed her shoulder.

- Leela? Are you alright?

- I’m… I’m fine… My god, Fry, we did it! He’s dying!

- Yeah, I guess… But he’s still standing… Wait, what’s that?

Leela saw what the young man was talking about. Kalt wasn’t only burning, some strange blue smoke was coming out of his wound and was going straight to the sky, before vanishing. The warlock himself seemed to realize what was going on, and Leela, surprised, saw him trying to catch this smoke and to stop it from escaping from him. She didn’t get why he was looking so despaired… Until she saw faces forming in the smoke, faces which was looking happy and blissful. She even recognized some of them… And only then did she understand.

It was Kalt’s victims. Each soul he had trapped during those 200 years, and that he incorporated in his body for increasing his power, were using the Star Rod’s power for finally breaking free. As Kalt was progressively weakening and losing his might, he couldn’t keep them in this Universe. The souls were constantly pouring out of him, rushing to get their freedom… And, at last, their final rest.

Leela was fascinated by what she was witnessing. She could feel the souls’ relief, their happiness, she could feel that they were finally accessing to whatever exists after the death, and that they were all enjoying what they were experimenting. They were in peace… And during a brief moment, overwhelmed by the intense concentration of such positive feelings, Leela thought she would cry of happiness, joining them in their celebration.

This moment of communion ended when the last soul vanished in the Next World… Which forced her to get back to reality. Fry blinked, and Leela quickly understood when she looked at him that he felt exactly the same things than her. But she almost immediately remembered Kalt… When she turned to the warlock, she shivered.

Kalt was still standing, the Star Rod still plunged in his body. He was now deteriorated, as he got back to the decomposed state he was before assimilating the souls of his victims, which once again was making him quite difficult to look at without having the nausea. He was obviously suffering from the burns the Star Rod was inflicting to him, and Leela could see that the process of disintegration of his body was still going on, but he was still standing, his hands raised after his attempts to keep the souls in his body. He was looking up, where his victims had disappeared, still stunned by what happened… But it quickly changed. He looked back at Fry and Leela, and when the young woman crossed his gaze, she instinctively stepped backwards. The warlock clenched his fists, his fingernails even getting in his flesh.

Rage took control of his mind.

He was about to die… He would never be able to awake his god now that the souls got away… He would suffer an eternal damnation because of his failure… He would never become a divinity…

Because of them.

Kalt wasn’t caring anymore about the pain that the Star Rod was causing to him. In fact, he was accustomed to it at this point. He forgot the necessity for him to keep them alive so that he would sacrifice them to What-Sleeps-In-Between. He forgot to try to get rid of the Star Rod, because there was nothing he could do against it. Only one thing still had an importance.

He would take them with him.

The warlock raised both his hands and aimed Fry and Leela. He could barely stand on his feet anymore, he could feel his flesh being devoured by the Star Rod and his power leaving him… But none of those things mattered. He was dying, and yet he was still powerful enough for destroying them with one single spell, talisman or not. Concentrating all his will, his power and his life, he would unleash all of this in one attack that would have the same destructive power than a small nuclear charge. He wouldn’t survive this himself, but it’s not as if he had any chances to live after this day, and at least he would kill that brainless guy who dared stealing all his dreams, that one-eyed bitch he’ll never be able to taste, that stupid robot and this annoying lieutenant who always got in his away, and destroy the most important magic library in the universe which was created by a race of degenerated hemp smoking aliens who foolishly opposed his master… All this in one blink…

His fists were beginning to glow, charged with the incalculable amounts of energy he was gathering in them. Fry and Leela knew it wasn’t telling good, but paralyzed by fear and by the certainty that running away was useless, they stood there, trembling, staring at the warlock, and they hugged each other, without any real rational reasons for doing so.

Only a few more seconds, and he would be ready… Kalt concentrated a little bit more…

But then, he felt the Star Rod moving a bit, as someone grabbed it behind his back.

Kalt tried to turn his head at the maximum, trying to keep concentrating his energy, but losing power as something was distracting him.

Tyron was holding the part of the Star Rod that was coming out of Kalt’s back. Somehow, the spell that was torturing him broke as soon as Kalt got stabbed with the staff. Despite the intense pain he was feeling at each ones of his movements, he managed to stand up, and to stagger for reaching his enemy.

Fry and Leela did an important part of the job, but there was still something left to do.

Kalt realized too late what it meant.

Tyron mentally ordered the Star Rod to unleash all its power.

- DIE!

What happened next, neither Fry nor Leela could have described it… As soon as Tyron gave his mental order to the Star Rod, all the energy stored in it rushed in Kalt’s body, burning all the warlock’s power and instantaneously ravaging his very structure. The warlock’s skin seemed to crack, like a jar made of clay would, and from each of this crackles a blinding white light was glowing. Kalt screamed, screamed to the point of making the whole planet shake in its foundation…

And he exploded.

Fry and Leela tried to protect them with their hands, but despite all the light, the explosion wasn’t producing any kind of fire or heat. Moreover, they suddenly thought they got caught in a blizzard. A cold and icy wind hit them head on, and for a few seconds, the temperature dropped from several dozens of degrees. Kalt’s heart wasn’t the only thing made of ice in the warlock.

When they felt that there wouldn’t any shocks left, Fry and Leela slowly opened their eyes. The smoke had finally dispersed, but now, a few inches of snow was covering the ground on several dozens of square-meters. They quickly noticed that they couldn’t hear any sounds, but it wasn’t because the blast deafened them: nobody was fighting anymore. The zombies were just standing, silent, looking completely lost, and the remaining golems were apparently waiting to see what would come next.

They also noticed they were still hugging each other… It wasn’t really annoying Fry, but Leela quickly got off his grasp and stood up for reaching Tyron, who was still standing and holding the Star Rod. The young man however managed to see she was blushing a bit.

- Tyron? Said Leela. Tyron, are you…

- Those wounds still hurt, replied Tyron, who was smiling, but I’m OK. Good Lord… I… I never felt this good…

- Did we win? Asked Fry who had joined them.

Tyron looked at the young man. Fry gasped.

The undead was crying.

- Yes… Yes, we won… At last… All is over… After all those years, Kalt is finally gone… We… We managed to…

Tyron stopped, trying to keep his composure. Leela didn’t need an explanation for knowing why he was in such a state. During 200 years, he tried to counter Kalt’s scheme, each time failing, but still trying again and again and again, with the hope that one day he would succeed… And now, the moment he had been waiting for so long had finally arrived. He had his revenge over the warlock, and he saved the Universe.

Even the toughest guy of all times would have difficulties to stay stoic.

- And… What about Kalt’s men? Asked Leela, trying to make him focus on what would happen next.

- Them? Said Tyron. They’re no longer Kalt’s slaves. They’re free.

Leela looked around her. The zombies were looking at themselves, wondering where they were, why they were decomposing… The young woman couldn’t see them as enemies anymore. They were Kalt’s victims, just like all those poor guys who got captured by the evil captain and turned into bodyless souls, trapped in glass bottles.

She heard some footsteps behind her. She immediately turned round, adopting a defensive position…

Bender was walking in their direction, trying to keep the deformed door of his chest cavity closed.

- Bender! Screamed Fry. You’re alive!

- Not thanks to you, meatbag! Replied the robot, bitter. “I’ll sneak behind his back, distract his attention and then throw me the rod, he won’t try to kill you anyway”… Well, looks like he did!

- He didn’t, said Leela, smiling. He still needed to get your soul, remember?

- Like this comforts me! But that son of a bitch is dead, right?

- Yep, said Fry. And you played a great role in that.

- Yet no one will give us a reward for this… Sucks to be us… Hey, what’s going on now?

Bender pointed somewhere in the distance. Fry and Leela looked to what he was designating… And barely believed what their eyes was showing them.

The zombies were disintegrating, turning into dust. They even could see it whirling in the wind, before disappearing in the sky. Hundreds and hundreds of bodies were apparently finally finishing their decomposition.

- What the…?! Said Fry.

- Kalt’s magic was the only thing that was keeping them alive, said Leela. Now that he’s gone, they finally can leave this world.

- I just hope the wind won’t blow them in our direction, said Bender. I’d hate to accidentally inhale some dead guy.

- Well, looks like all is really over. Tyron, what should we…

Leela stopped.

Tyron was disintegrating as well. When he noticed the phenomenon, the undead let the Star Rod fall from his hands for taking a better look at them. He didn’t seem to be afraid by what was happening to him, even when his fingers fell into dust just as he looked at them. In fact, he was looking extremely calm, and was smiling. His friends, however, weren’t as stoical as him.

- Tyron! Screamed Leela.

- It’s okay, replied the undead with a completely serene voice. It looks like I too was still living thanks to Kalt… Quite logical, when you think about it… It’s his magic that opened the path to the Space between the Universes and trapped my soul in this body…

- You can’t die, man! Said Fry. Not now! Not just when we won!

- Of course I can. Bringing an end to Kalt’s madness was the only thing that prevented me from jumping in the spatial void. I’ve lived way longer than I should have… At last, I can take some rest…

Tyron looked at his friends. His legs and arms had already disappeared, and now, his trunk was quickly degrading.

- You know… We had some difficult moments, you and me, but in the whole… I’m glad I met you… Except you, Bender, but to be fair I don’t know exactly why… Thank you for all you’ve done…

Only Tyron’s head was still intact, floating in the air, but it was turning into dust as the rest of his body. Leela finally understood he wasn’t suffering… He had been waiting for this moment for centuries, and at last, he was freed from the fear that What-Sleeps-In-Between would ever manage to come in our Universe. He was welcoming his death with high relief.

She smiled at him.

- You’re the one who saved us, Tyron. You deserve to find peace. Rest well.

Tyron smiled back at her, his eyes shining with happiness and the certainty he had done everything he had to do. The rest of his face disintegrated quickly, his smile being the last thing to leave this world. Fry, Leela and Bender raised their heads, looking at the remains of their friend that were going to the sky, before disappearing somewhere above them. Even when the last particle vanished, they were still staring at the sky, feeling a bit of melancholy.

After a pretty long time, Leela looked around her. All the members of Kalt’s crew had vanished without leaving a single trace. The golems were now just standing where they last were, as if they were just statues that never fought anything.

- Looks like everybody’s gone, said Fry. Wow, that sure was an interesting day.

- Oh yeah, sure, said Bender, who was trying to keep his chest cavity closed. What do we do now?

- Well, said Leela, maybe we should try to find Has-The-Hiccups and Smells-Like-Cinnamon so that they would help us to get back to Earth. We still don’t know where…

An astonishing rumble interrupted Leela. The trio nearly jumped of surprise, before looking behind them, where the noise was coming from.

The Crimson Monarch was collapsing behind them. Hundreds of tons of rusted metal that were standing only thanks to Kalt’s magic got finally defeated by the planet’s gravity and their overall decaying state. The once majestic spaceship was now turning into a gigantic pile of scrap iron; in a matter of seconds, it became impossible to even conceive that all those materials were once making a ship.

The trio needed a few seconds for coming out of their surprise.

- That sure was something, said Bender.

- Yeah, said Fry. Now, it looks like everything’s really over.

- Guess you’re right, said Leela. But…

- What?

Leela frowned. Another bad feeling…

- I don’t know. I can’t help but think that we’ve forgotten something…

Just as she finished speaking, the pile of iron moved.

Fry and Bender wondered what just happened, but suddenly, some parts of the destroyed ship got thrown in the air, as if they got blown out by an explosion of some sort. But what really froze the trio was that something was now getting out of the rubble.

At first, it looked like a gigantic mass of grayish Jell-O, but soon, the surface of the thing began to change… Hundreds of red eyes began to appear on the translucent body, as well as dozens of mouths filled with razor-sharp fangs, and the most disturbing thing was that they were moving on the thing’s surface, as if the creature didn’t know exactly in what part of its body they should be. A few tentacles even began to grow on the creature, some of them ending with claws, others with suckers, and others with small mouths. The whole thing was at least 10 meters wide, and about as much high. It was a complete aberration, something that couldn’t have been born in this Universe as it was violating the most basic rules of the living beings, something that could only be conceived by an insane mind. The beast roared, a deep-pitched roar that froze Fry’s and Leela’s blood as well as Bender’s oil.

Leela finally remembered what they forgot.

- The Shaaash!

When the beast began to go down the pile of metal, Fry, Leela and Bender had already turned their back at it a long time ago, running for trying to reach the library where they hoped they would get some protection. Leela only took a second for getting the Star Rod, which was still where Tyron let it before disappearing. The Shaaash set off in pursuit of the creatures which killed its master, rolling and crawling in their direction. Because of the beast’s nature, looking at it was like looking at an avalanche… And like the snowy disaster, everything that was standing in its way was condemned to go to its final demise. A few golems, seeing the danger, tried to stop the creature for protecting the trio, but they got tossed away by the Shaaash as easily as feathers in a tornado. A living mountain of slime, teeth, tentacles and fangs was now wreaking havoc in what was a few minutes ago a real battlefield, only for getting its three preys.

Panic was making Fry, Leela and Bender forget their wounds and their tiredness, and was certainly making them break Olympic records as they were running like they never did before. Bender was in the front, and his broken chest cavity door was not slowing him a single bit.

The problem was that despite its amazing mass, the Shaaash was extremely fast, and there wasn’t as much distance between it and them as when the pursuit began. And the library was still several hundreds of yards away…

Has-The-Hiccups and Smells-Like-Cinnamon materialized on the battlefield. Turning their back to the beast and to the trio, they were examining the remains of the fallen golems.

- Dude, I never fought they’d fight that well… Said Has-The-Hiccups.

- Me neither, dude, said Smells-Like-Cinnamon. Look at that! I sculpted some of them! Those guys had no respect for other peoples’ work!

- Yeah, totally… But now, it’s over, dude! The big bad guy is dead, and the Universe is saved! They didn’t get destroyed in vain…

- I know, it’s just…

Just at this moment, Bender went past them, quickly followed by Leela and Fry. This forced the two ghosts to get out of their thoughts, but they weren’t expecting such an attitude from their guests at all.

- Hey! Dudes! Stay here! We’ve got to thank you for what you’ve done!

- Whoa, weird! Why are they running like that?

A deep roar behind them. Has-The-Hiccups and Smells-Like-Cinnamon turned back… And screamed as the Shaaash ran through them. Thanks to the fact that they had no body at all, they didn’t get harmed by what happened to them. But as soon as they got out of the beast as it was still pursuing the Planet Express employees, they looked at each other, shocked.

- Dude! I’ve seen things I hoped I’d never see during my death in there!

- Me too! Good thing we don’t sleep anymore, I’d have nightmares for all eternity otherwise!

Fry, Leela and Bender didn’t even notice the two ghosts, as they were focusing on the library’s doors that were getting closer, but way too slowly to their tastes. They weren’t even thinking about what they would do once they would be there, because it wasn’t sure that the creature would be stopped by the doors. Fry was beginning to feel a stitch, but his brain wasn’t even relaying the information, as it was constantly repeating the three same letters: runrunrunrunrunrunrunrunrun…

But in their back, the Shaaash decided to use one of its tricks. While crawling, it suddenly flattened, and the moment after it propelled itself to the sky. Its phenomenal strength allowed it to make a gigantic jump despite its weight, getting even more speed in the process. And soon, it flew over its potential preys, even passing them, not without hiding the Edge’s white light during a brief second. None of the three noticed what was going on, not even when a big shadow went over their heads… Until the beast landed in front of them, making the ground shake and rumble. The trio immediately braked, Bender’s feet even squealing as if they were tires and Fry even falling on the floor and trying to crawl away, but the Shaaash was now just in front of them, only a few meters away. It was even worse for Bender, who was ahead of the others and as a result would certainly be the first one to be devoured by the creature. Panicked, the robot began to go backwards, and even opened his chest cavity for throwing everything he had inside it to the creature. But it looked like an alarm clock, a top hat, a doll that was saying “mummy” and an aquarium couldn’t make the Shaaash stand back…

Has-The-Hiccups and Smells-Like-Cinnamon finally joined Fry and Leela, who still haven’t ran away.

- Dude! Said Smells-Like-Cinnamon. We completely forgot that thing!

- No kidding! Said Fry, still crawling.

- Looks like we can’t run away! (Said Leela. She brandished the Star Rod.) Quick, tell me how I can use this against it!

- You can’t! You used its power against Kalt a few minutes ago, and now it needs a few hours for recharging!

- Crap!

Meanwhile, Bender was still throwing things at the Shaaash: bricks, bowling balls, a remote control, Spoutnik, a Star Trek plate… The thing was still moving forward.

- I don’t want to be eaten! Whined Fry. I don’t want to be eaten!

- And those talismans? Said Leela. There must be a spell that can help us!

- Sure, said Smells-Like-Cinnamon, but you’re not experimented enough for using them! If Tyron wasn’t gone…

- But he’s dead! Screamed Fry. And we’ll all be dead! I don’t want to be dead!

- Dude, said Has-The-Hiccups, we’re dead, and we’re quite happy that way…

- I DON’T WANT TO BE HAPPY!!!

Bender was slowly getting out of ammunitions, and it was still doing nothing for slowing down the beast. A bagpipe, an antique CD (a Best-Of of Paul Anka), a dreamcatcher, a Risk boardgame…

- Stop chasing me, dammit! Screamed Bender. I’m made of metal! Why don’t you go after the fleshy ones?!?

… The Pink Panther, a bust of Benjamin Franklin, a tiki…

- Look at them! I’m sure they’re tasty! If you devour me, you’ll just have a tummyache!

The beast was getting annoyed by the things that the robot was throwing at it… It began to use one of its multiple mouths for swallowing everything… Which was now including a small mine, three tiles, a steering wheel…

- Don’t you have taste, or what!??

… A pack of chocolate cookies…

… And suddenly, the beast stopped.

Bender froze, his left arm still brandishing what he was about to throw at the creature (in this case, a moonboot), keeping an eye on what it was about to do. The Shaaash was apparently cautiously chewing the pack of cookies, and doing a few sounds that were sounding like whistles. Leela, Fry, Has-The-Hiccups and Smells-Like-Cinnamon too noticed the sudden change of attitude of the beast, and were wondering what it could mean. Quickly, something was changing in the beast’s organism… It was becoming pink.

The beast’s teeth and claws began to disappear as well… And as a gigantic tongue got out of the beast and licked the part where Bender threw the cookies, it became evident that the creature had suddenly calmed down. In fact, it was even wriggling, and now, instead of roaring, it was yapping like a happy puppy. Cautiously, the two ghosts, Leela and Fry came closer to the robot, who was still brandishing his projectile. Bender had absolutely no clue of what was going on, but his friends had easily found out.

- Looks like you made a new friend… Said Fry.

- But… Wha? Is… Who… When… Staggered Bender.

- The cookies, dude! Said Has-The-Hiccups. That beast never tasted cookies before, and it obviously likes them!

- Uh?

- Do you have some more? Asked Leela.

- Er, yeah…

- Try to give another one to it.

Bender looked at Leela, completely lost, but he finally put the moonboot back in the chest cavity, and grabbed another pack of cookies inside. The Shaaash yapped again, and from each of his numerous mouths came a tongue out. Looking at how it was shivering, Leela quickly deduced that if that thing had a tail, it would have been shaking it. Bender, however, was paralyzed by the beast’s new attitude.

- Come on, Bender! Said Fry. Throw another one!

The robot opened the pack, grabbed a cookie and threw it at the creature. Another mouth appeared exactly where he threw the cookie, and quickly swallowed it, apparently enjoying it a lot.

It brutally moved forward.

Fry and Leela immediately backed off, but Bender was way too close to the creature for avoiding it. He closed his eyes and screamed of terror…

… Just as dozens of tongues were licking him at once.

Bender stopped screaming when he couldn’t feel anymore tongues on him. When he opened his eyes, it was for discovering that he was covered with slaver. The Shaaash barked in front of him.

Fry, Leela, Has-The-Hiccups and Smells-Like-Cinnamon were completely flabbergasted. They were all staring at the strange pair of the robot and the interdimensional monster, their eyes completely empty, their mouths wide opened…

The young man had a spasm.

He began to snicker, sporadically at first, then more and more.

The young woman and the two ghosts joined him.

And they finally completely burst in laughter, completely unable to repress their sudden hilarity.

Fry and Leela were laughing so hard that tears were coming to their eyes, and that their belly was seriously beginning to hurt. The two ghosts didn’t have the same problems, but their hilarity was making it hard for them to stay in the physical plane of existence. But none of them would ever have tried to put an end to their laughter. During hours and hours, all of them had to go through an intense mental pressure: fear, anguish, doubt, despair… And as they were laughing, all their concerns were finally vanishing from their minds. They were happy to be safe and sound, they were beginning to realize they would finally come back to their previous lives (or deaths in the case of the ghosts)… This comical incident that just happened to Bender was the sign that at last they could really live again.

Only one person wasn’t laughing… The robot was looking at his companions with an exasperated look. He rubbed some of the slaver out of his shoulders, but he would certainly need a lot more work for being clean again.

- Haha, very funny… Said Bender with a very cold voice.

Fry, Leela, Has-The-Hiccups and Smells-Like-Cinnamon laughed for a very long time, despite all the attempts of the robot for stopping them. The Shaaash wasn’t helping him, however, as every time he tried to look serious and asked them to calm down, the beast would be licking him again or caressing his head with one of its tentacles.

It lasted for long, long minutes… But after a while, the four companions’ hilarity finally began to tone down, quite slowly, but at least allowing them to try to talk again.

- Sorry, Bender… Said Leela, trying to repress her laughter. It’s just… It’s not about you, it’s… Pfffffh…

- Yeah, of course, I believe you, said a sarcastic Bender. You’re not making fun of the robot who got splashed by a gooey slug…

- BENDER HAS A GIRLFRIEND! Screamed Fry, before laughing again.

- Duuuuude! Said Has-The-Hiccups, trying to stop laughing. You’re the first one to make yourself like by a Shaaash in billions of years!

- Not the kind of honor I wanted to gain… Replied Bender. How do I get rid of this thing?!

- No problem, dude, said Smells-Like-Cinnamon, we’ve got everything we need inside the library. Artifacts, rituals and all.

- Although that would be a bit cruel… Snickered Fry. It really seems to love you… Don’t you have a heart?

- Okay, enough with this! Said Bender, losing his temper. I’m sick of those jokes! You will…

The creature licked the back of the robot’s head. Once again, Fry, Leela, Has-The-Hiccups and Smells-Like-Cinnamon busted out laughing.

- I freaking hate you, guys…

Very long minutes later, the group finally managed to over come its hilarity. At this moment, came the final moment they were all looking forward to: the last preparations before the Planet Express employees would go. The two ghosts brought Fry and Leela in the library at this effect. As Bender was still followed by the Shaaash, which wasn’t getting off his back, he was forced to stay outside, keeping the beast busy. He still had enough cookies for calming it, but it wasn’t protecting at all from its affection… Fry thought he wouldn’t hold and laugh again when he heard Bender’s last words before the doors would close behind them:

- Stop spitting on me, you stinking pile of snot! Don’t you have some other guys to piss off?!? What the… NO! DO NOT EVEN THINK OF DOING THIS WITH MY LEG!!!

The two ghosts first made Leela and Fry gather everything they would need for sending the Shaaash back to its native world. Then, they took them to another little room, in which a strange fresco was painted on the world, which was in a perfect state of conservation despite the fact it had been painted millions of years ago, just like anything in the library anyway.

- That’s pretty, said Leela, but what does it represent exactly?

- It’s a map, sis’, replied Smells-Like-Cinnamon. It shows where we are in the Universe.

- What?! My God, that’s perfect! With this we’ll easily find our way back to Earth!

- Cool! Said Fry. But… How do we take it with us?

The young man felt the cold look Leela gave at him.

- What?

- Fry, we only have to note the position of the planet… And then we can easily calculate the trajectory to the nearest civilized planet.

- Oh…

- Thank you for all your kind efforts for helping us, said Leela to the ghosts, forgetting her friend for a second. If only we could repay you for all the troubles we…

- You didn’t get it, sis’, said Has-The-Hiccups, interrupting her. We’re in debt with you. You’re the ones who brought an end to a dangerous menace. Totally normal we help you to get back to your home.

- But what about the golems? Said Fry. We destroyed quite a lot, with sending them to this battle…

- There are still a few left, dude, said Has-The-Hiccups. Believe it or not, but they can rebuild their own fallen brothers with no problem. And now, we even can use some metal from the Crimson Monarch for making entire new metal golems! Sweet!

- I guess… Said Leela. Listen, if you ever need some help against those things from between the Universes…

- You played your part, said Smells-Like-Cinnamon. That’s all we would ever have wanted from you. For the rest… Well, we think in terms of millions of years in our war against the Great-Devourers-From-Between-The-Universes. Could you live that long?

- Errr… No.

- Then this is settled. No need to worry, anyway. It wasn’t the first time that the Universe was in danger, but each time, valorous peoples came and defeated whoever tried to break the balance between Good and Evil. It’s the rules of the game.

Fry scratched his head.

- Wait… You mean…?

- Yeah, dude, said Has-The-Hiccups. Some people are destined to fight the ultimate evil. This time it was your turn.

- Whoohoo! Great!

- This doesn’t mean you would have necessarily survived, though. In fact, it was highly probable you’d be killed.

Fry suddenly lost all his enthusiasm. Leela too was a bit carried away by this information…

- That’s not extremely appealing…

- Yeah, said Has-The-Hiccups, but when you’re looking to voluntaries, you have to skip that part. A bit of marketing never hurts, see?

The ritual for sending the Shaaash back to its native dimension didn’t take that long to be performed, the only problem being tracing a wide enough pentacle in which the beast would stand, and then to force it to stay in it until the end of the ghosts’ incantations. The beast was apparently surprised by what was happening to it, but Bender gave to it all the cookies he had left in his chest cavity. That proved to put an end to the Shaaash’s hesitation, which didn’t resist at all afterwards.

Then, came the moment of saying farewell to Has-The-Hiccups and Smells-Like-Cinnamon. The ghosts thanked Fry, Leela and Bender again for what they did that day. Unfortunately, Fry and Leela had to give them back their talismans: Has-The-Hiccups explained them that although it was a necessity for them to use magic in those circumstances, it would be better if they just had no more access to it for providing any misuse of this force. It made Fry sad, but he didn’t complain against it after all. All the recent events took away his fascination for magic from him. Leela gladly gave hers, as she really wanted to forget all about it and to come back to a more rational world; as for Bender, he wasn’t saying anything at all. He never felt it anyway, so he didn’t really see the point of keeping something he would never have fun with.

Soon, Leela got the Planet Express ship out of the library, where she hid it before the fight against Kalt. Just as she hoped, the emergency circuits finally kicked in, reactivating the navigation system. With the coordinates of the library’s planet, it would be extremely easy to calculate their way to Earth. She quickly made Bender and Fry got on board, but not before everybody would have said a last goodbye at Has-The-Hiccups and Smells-Like-Cinnamon. When Leela made the ship take off, she quickly lost sight of the two ghosts. The last image she would have from them was Has-The-Hiccups and Smells-Like-Cinnamon waving at them, smiling.

In only a matter of seconds, the Planet Express ship was out of the planet’s atmosphere. Once again, peace and silence would besiege the majestic library until its next visitors would reach it. Which would certainly wouldn’t happen before centuries.

Fry looked by the ship’s windshield at the planet, before it disappeared in the far distance… After a few minutes, even the edge of the Universe was gradually starting to get out of his sight. Fry, Leela and Bender were finally in the vast open space, and every second that was passing was bringing them back to civilization. The young man sat on his usual seat and put his feet on the console in front of him. Leela was still piloting, taking care that their return wouldn’t be disturbed by some meteoritic field or any other kind of trouble you could meet in space.

- Pfoohey! Said Fry. At least, we can take some rest! With all this running, fighting and screaming, I completely forgot to take a nap!

- Tell me about it, said Leela. For the moment, I must stay here, but I can’t wait to get in my bed and sleep like a log!

- And me, to snore like a hog!

- Say, any news from Bender? I didn’t see him since we took off…

- He just took a blowtorch and locked himself in our room. Don’t know what he’s up to…

Just at this moment, the cockpit’s door slid, letting Bender enter. The robot was looking particularly calm, but what really caught Leela and Fry’s attention was the fact that the door of his chest cavity was no longer bashed up. It made Fry smile.

- Looking good, pal!

- Thanks, meatbag. It was about time I’d get this repaired! That was seriously beginning to itch!

- You indeed seem to be in perfect health, for once, said Leela. And you finally got rid of that stench!

- Don’t tell me about it… I had to use the whole bottle of robot polishing for cleaning all that snot… Damn those stupid beasts from another dimension!

- Yeah, that’s something else I’m happy with, said Fry. I’ve seen enough weird things for the rest of my life!

Leela gave a strange glare at Fry. The young man immediately noticed the change in the general mood.

- What?

- You do realize you’re a 20^th century guy who slept during 1000 years and is now working with a mutant, a robot, his great-great-great-and-many-other-great-nephew, a Decapodian and a girl who was born on Mars, right? Said Leela.

- Yeah, and? Said Fry, still clueless. That’s everyday life.

- But… You’re coming from a time when it wasn’t even conceivable…

- So?

Leela opened her mouth, trying to find an argument… She couldn’t. After all, it wasn’t as if he awakened a few days ago…

- Nevermind. So, Bender… New chest cavity?

- No, I just fixed the old one.

- Really? Alone?

- You’re talking about my anatomy, right? And you two aren’t robotologists, right? Then yeah, alone.

- Strange… I always thought you didn’t know a damn thing about repairing yourself…

- What do you mean? It’s basic knowledge for any robots!

- You nearly blew up the entire block the last time you tried to replace your internal clock’s battery from your own…

- Oh, come on! I made a little confusion about wires once, so what? That doesn’t mean I’m a complete jackass!

- Are you really sure you didn’t need help? Said Fry, looking worried. Because the hinges of your chest door don’t look…

- DON’T TOUCH THAT!!! Err, I mean… I’m a bit ticklish there, and… As I just fixed this part…

Leela frowned. Bender was acting like a kid who got caught trying to shoplift, and usually, it wasn’t announcing good news. Something smelled fishy in this story, and it definitely not because of the Shaaash’s slaver…

- Are you hiding something in your chest cavity, Bender? Asked Leela with the coldest voice she could have.

- What?! Said Bender, with an indignation that was way too marked for being fully honest. This is calumny! Why are you suspecting me of doing something bad and not Reddie Locks here?

- First, you have a very long history behind you, Bender, said Leela. Second, I find your obsession of keeping your chest cavity closed a bit suspicious. And third, you always call Fry “Reddie Locks” when you want to distract attention on him.

- Really? Said Fry, surprised. All this time I was worried he was just becoming a little too affectionate for my tastes!

- Oh yeah, I get it! Blame the robot! He’s not a piece of flesh! It’s not as if he had feelings! You know what, big boots? That’s despicable! I’m very disappointed, Leela, I was expecting better from you! But noooo, just like any fleshy you’re full of prejudices against my kind!

Well, let me tell you this…

And just at this moment, as he leant for pointing at Leela, his chest door came unhooked and fell on the floor. Letting the content of his chest cavity get free.

- … Crap…

A quick look at what fell from Bender’s chest cavity immediately made Fry and Leela gasp of horror.

There was some trash, as Bender already threw almost everything he had at the Shaaash earlier, but there was something new… A big, black book with a leather cover. And on it, written in red characters, was the word Metronomicon. On its edge was a broken metallic ring, which had apparently been sawed.

- That’s a book from the library! Said Fry. One of the forbidden books!

- Errrr… No, it isn’t… Said Bender, trying to look innocent.

- Oh, really?! Said Leela, furious. Then how do you explain that ring here? It was binding the book to the shelf you stole it from!

- Come on, it’s just a damn book! Said Bender. What’s so special about it?

- Didn’t you hear them or something!? This book contains extremely dangerous spells! It can unleash the most horrible atrocities on this Universe! You steal it from the guys who were guarding it, bring it in my ship, and thus endangers us, and you want me to think this is no big deal?!?

- You really believe all this crap? It’s only a goddamn book! Why are you making such a fuss about it?

- And why did you steal it if you don’t like books, by the way? Said Fry.

- Because it’s old and rare, and those things can be extremely profitable!

- Well, sorry, but you won’t make money out of this! We’re going to bring it back to the Durganians immediately!

- Oh come on! There’s absolutely nothing dangerous about it, and I’ll show you!

Before Leela could realize what he was going to do, Bender already grabbed the book and opened it randomly. And when she began to react, he already was reading a part.

- Trahkjli opalmusbeg klomateh… OUCH!

The robot’s last word was due to the slap Leela gave him. The young woman was absolutely infuriated, and she had to refrain herself from grabbing a crowbar and to hit Bender with it. The robot let the book fall on the floor. Curious, Fry gave a quick look at the page Bender was reading…

- DO NOT READ IT, DAMMIT! YOU WANT TO KILL US?!

- Oh please! Said Bender, rubbing his cheek. You don’t seriously think that reading a part of that book randomly can be dangerous, do you?

- Randomly, maybe, said Fry, but if I read this correctly, it says here “incantation for summoning the Tyriakhees, the Birds of Oblivion…”

It didn’t seem to worry Bender at all, as he discarded Fry’s intervention with a contemptuous gesture.

- Pfffh, whatever… The ectoplasms said robots can’t use magic…

- Oh, and it also says: “the Tyriakhees automatically answer to whoever call them, may they be versed with magic or not”. Doesn’t sound good…

- Now you’re just talking nonsense! If that book really can call creatures from another dimension, then I’ll use my own legs for the next supper!

Leela was about to severely bawl Bender out… When suddenly, a high-pitched screech resounded, chilling her blood. This unexpected event put an end to her madness – at least for a few seconds – and, apparently, Bender and Fry too heard it, as their eyes were wide opened. Fry even swallowed a large gulp of saliva. Slowly, Leela turned her head to see what could have shrieked like this…

Beyond the windshield, in outer space, three abominable creatures were flying in their direction. They had the body and wings of bats, but their wingspan was phenomenal, certainly exceeding 10 meters. Each one had three heads that were looking like what a breeding of a vulture and a pterodactyl would have, except there were sharp fangs in their jaws. They shrieked again, and there was no more doubt that they were the beasts that screamed a few seconds earlier.

Leela didn’t make lots of efforts for guessing what they could be.

She looked back at Bender. When he saw her face, the robot couldn’t know what would be the worst: the beasts or the young woman.

- BENDEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEER!!!!

Even Fry, who had nothing to do with this, backed off a little when Leela screamed. The robot was no longer trying to hide his anxiety… But he still managed to smile, a smile that was of course looking particularly fake.

- You guys have a hard time digesting metal, haven’t you? Maybe with some chili sauce…

THE END

Note : the lyrics of Fry’s and Bender’s song have been extracted from Robbie Williams’ Well did you evah.