Author Topic: Tell a Story  (Read 53020 times)

Offline KurtPikachu2001

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Re: Tell a Story
« Reply #495 on: November 11, 2016, 11:01:43 PM »
Glad things are well for you, your family and your mother, Umbry! 

My wife and I both had the day off today, so we thought we'd take advantage of Veterins Day.   We went to Best Buy to get a DVD movie we've been wanting to see.  American Hustle it was.  We asked the store clerks if they can find the movie for us, but instead all the DVD movies they had were Insurgent, Guardians Of The Galaxy, The Incredible Hulk, Captain America, Hunger Games, Percy Jackson, and that bunch.  American Sniper was there, but not American Hustle.  The store clerk was unable to find it for us, so we both told her she did a good job anyway.  She was a nice girl.

Then we went to Target.  In the entertainment section where they have the DVDs, we asked a clerk there, then we got sent to another clerk, and another.  And as they say, third try is the charm, so that clerk found American Hustle for us and it costs $4!   What a bargain!   DVDs are very cheap these days because people are 'steaming' movies on Netflix and whatnot.   So we got American Hustle and we plan to watch it maybe during Thanksgiving when our in-laws come to visit.   

After that victory, we went to Nathan's and got their famous hot dogs there.   But some of the mustard and relish got on my hands.  So I had to go wash up in the men's room.    Then we went to an internet cafe to look up some Youtube videos.   For some reason, the computers we used were downloading very very slowly.  Once we got on Youtube, the videos we tried to play only played for 3 seconds and then the Youtube video froze up on us.  What the hell was going on?

We stopped to get some frozen Yogurt wouldn't you know some caramel got on my hands and that was the second time today I had sticky hands!   If I ever join the Mafia, guess my name can be "Sticky Hands Trenton!"  Told my wife that joke and we laughed! 

So we went home and we were happy with the expirience we had!   

Offline Marloc

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Re: Tell a Story
« Reply #496 on: December 06, 2016, 10:53:03 PM »
Not really much of a story, but I am finally now a Licensed Professional Geologist in the state of Illinois.

I took the test, passed half, failed half. Took the second half again, failed worse. Took the second half a third time, passed.

Hooray, Marloc!

It is a weight off my shoulders, though.
It's a thing.  It's like a plan, but with more greatness.

Fighting? There's no fighting in Plan C. Plan C is run away faster!

The past with dumb people who wanted to kill us for dumb reasons is behind us.  Ahead is a new place with new people who'll want to kill us for totally different reasons!

Offline Flounder

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Re: Tell a Story
« Reply #497 on: December 07, 2016, 12:06:59 AM »
Not really much of a story, but I am finally now a Licensed Professional Geologist in the state of Illinois.

Huzzahs are in order!

:thumbsup: :thumbsup: :thumbsup: :thumbsup:
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Offline KurtPikachu2001

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Re: Tell a Story
« Reply #498 on: December 11, 2016, 05:13:59 PM »
Congrats, Marloc!  You rule!


Yesterday I got another free round of golf from my work.   My wife and I invited or roommate to come with us.  He's usually antisocial and prefers to sit around and watch tv, but he agreed to come.  We also planned to go to a college basketball that the college where I'm a Dean at had playing.

Anyway, our roommate was driving along driving to the golf course, and then suddenly his car broken down in the middle of the city.  Luckily there was a car shop in the vicinity we were able to push his car from behind.  The mechanics said his car needed a new muffler and two of his tires were worn out.  There were many others ahead of us getting their cars fixed.  We spent yesterday waiting four long hours to his car fixed.  We all missed both the golfing and the basketball game.  Weekend ruined......

At least there's another basketball game playing next weekend.  Was so excited for both, even wore my new American Dad shirt hoping for a day of good old fun involving sports, and then my roommate's car broken down.  Wasn't his fault it was fates fault.

As Mick Jaggar once said, "You can't always get what you want!" 


Offline Red_Line

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Re: Tell a Story
« Reply #499 on: December 11, 2016, 09:01:18 PM »
Not really much of a story, but I am finally now a Licensed Professional Geologist in the state of Illinois.

Congratulations!

Sorry, no stories to tell right now, my life has been boring lately.
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Offline Red_Line

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Re: Tell a Story
« Reply #500 on: December 23, 2016, 10:32:04 PM »
Bump!  Now I have a story.  I was on the phone with Mom's Friendly Telecommunications Conglomerate making a deal to upgrade my internet service and lower my bill.  Naturally they want to upsell you on everything so the nice ladybot asks me who our television provider was.

I reply "We have an antenna".

Long pause - I don't think she quite knew how to process that.  Finally she goes "Ok, well, we have ...".

"No." I interrupt.

Another long pause.  "Umm, well, OK, I know you don't want it but I have to say this anyway."

"Tell you what," I reply, "let's just pretend you did and I still said No."

"Umm, I can't do that, this call might be monitored and I'll get in trouble if I don't."

"How about this," I say, "HEY,  A$$HOLE BOSSES - I don't want your f$$$ing overpriced television service.  No. No. No.  There, that should cover your shiny metal behind, now lets get on with our lives."

She kinda chuckles and says "Ok".   :crylol:
"Unthinking respect for authority is the greatest enemy of truth" - Albert  Einstein


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Offline Pieter

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Re: Tell a Story
« Reply #501 on: February 11, 2017, 12:11:02 PM »
'The HAND.'

It was about an elderly man, not sure what profecion he had, but the story took place around the 1900-1910's I believe. So there is no telephone, TV, radio and people still go by carriage and horse.

A new owner comes to live in the great mansion - an old militairy officer. Stern, tall and burly. Large eyebrows and fierce white moustage and short hair.

He shows himself in his garden from time to time, shooting his pistol for target practice.

The elderly man is fasinated by this new person in town. One day he is invited to stay for dinner and he is impressed by the horror militairy stories the old officer tells him at the fireplace sitting in their comfy longchairs. What the man is especially horrfied with is the severed hand that the officer has hanging over the fireplace on a chain, claiming it was once from a most dangerous adversary he slay on the battlefield. Kept it as a trophy!

Its even more scary to the man when -listening to the amazing tale- the severed hand starts to move and wiggle its fingers. The officer laughs loudly at the pale face of the scared man when he notices this movements. The officer dismisses this as nerve twitches that are very common when dead flesh becomes warm from the fire, stating that they would have quite a sight when an Egyptian mummy would have been in that place - moving all limbs as if dancing.

Still shocked the man eventually goes to the guestroom to stay the night due to the bad weather. He has to walk the dark corridors with a candle in hand and his mind keeps dwelling on that severed hand. He has nightmares of the hand escaping its chains and walking around the mansion, before he is woken by a scream and eery noise..

He walks to the room where the officer resides and sees the shocking scene where the officer stares directly at him while lying upsidedown over the cough, the look of horror on his dead face, with the severed hand standing over his neck.

The elderly man runs out of the mansion in fear, but the weather is bad, its nightime and the large iron gate is closed... so he finds no other way then to return to the mansion and spend the night until it gets light...

The next morning he steps back out of the mansion into the garden and sees a grim man with long curly sideburns, in a thick fur coat with a high black hat. The man is sitting in a garden chair next to the pool staring into the water. Puzzled and scared the eldery mans curiosity wins it and he walks over to the sittng man. Uncertain if the man is also dead or just silent.

The man explains that he was once the friend of the now dead officer in the mansion and that he himself was once severly wounded in battle. So badly they pronounced him dead and his friend, the officer, stood wake next to his coffin. Because he was from a wealthy family he had a large golden ring with a jewel in it on his hand. His friend was greedy and (thinking he was dead anyway) opened the coffin and with his sabre quikly chopped of the hand. The officer fled with his newly gained loot.

Because of the amputation, the mans blood started flowing again and he regained contiousness shortly after that.

It took him decades to track his old "friend" down and the previous night was their lethal reunion. The sitting man now shows his stump and even though the officers greed actually had saved his life, declares he had waited all that time for his revenge... and took back what was his.

...

Somehow my mind could not stop thinking of that early 70's Dutch thriller movie I once saw on TV decades ago.   Just felt like sharing...

Offline dinkdrinker

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Re: Tell a Story
« Reply #502 on: February 11, 2017, 08:38:34 PM »
neat!
Well, there goes the Internet

Offline Red_Line

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Re: Tell a Story
« Reply #503 on: August 26, 2017, 10:26:03 PM »
Normally I never reply to spam, but I was in a  mood this afternoon and couldn't resist.  Received this to my redline2180@gmail account:

Quote
On 8/26/2017 5:18 AM, Samys Rental wrote:
Hello
Hope you get my inquiry, I want to know whether you sell ( Bristle Blaster )... Email me the available sizes/models you have, or a link to look through. Also want to know the types of payment you accept.Hope to hear back from you soon.
Best Regards,
Jon Brooklyn

So what the heck, I had a little fun and replied:

Quote
Hello Joe,

  We can supply Bristle Blasters in any color, size, and quantity you need.  Price is $13,427.92 each with quantity discounts available.  Cash in advance only.  We deliver by interplanetary spaceship.  You supply the labor to transfer to your truck.

B. B. Rodriguez
P. E.  Inc

I will update if I get a reply.   :crylol:
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Offline Flounder

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Re: Tell a Story
« Reply #504 on: August 27, 2017, 01:02:11 AM »
...an old militairy officer. Stern, tall and burly. Large eyebrows and fierce white moustage and short hair.

Your avatar, Pieter? :biggrin:

Sounds like a great horror movie!
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Offline Marloc

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Re: Tell a Story
« Reply #505 on: February 15, 2018, 03:30:37 PM »
*BUMP*
So, we've gotten a metric ton of snow here around Casa del Marloc lately.  We got 9 consecutive days of measurable snowfall, culminating in about 14 inches between Thursday night and Sunday morning.  That might not seem like too much to some of youse, but it more than doubled Chicago's total for the whole season in three days. Since then, daytime temperatures have risen above freezzing, creating some melting during the day and then freezing at night. 

Yesterday morning as I was going to work, I walked out my back door, as per usual. What was not as per usual was me falling right down on my fleshy non-metal ass and screaming my head off.  I felt and heard the ankle pop (not a sound I'd recommend hearing, by the by).  I remember trying to straighten my foot and not being able to feel it moving (but it did move).  Mrs. MC said she didn't hear me cursing, which surprises me.  I thought I'd be screaming the F-word all over the place.

Anyway, Mrs. Marloc and I go to the local hospital.  I get checked in and am given X-rays.  We wait a little bit, and the ER doctor comes in and says the ankle is broken, but there's something else going on by my Achilies and they think there's a break higher up the leg, too.  So, I go back for X-rays and they find the second break right below my knee.  He thinks I need surgery, but we have to wait for an orthopedic surgeon to check it out.  So we wait. And wait. And wait. And wait. 

Two hours later, the ER doctor comes in and says that all of the ortho residents were at meetings and they had to wait for the attending orthopedic to look at it. Broken in two places and I need surgery.  Go see the ortho tomorrow and surgery Friday.  Then the money people come in. Yeah, we're not your hospital.  Insurance will cover it because this was an emergency and this was the closest hospital, but we're going to recommend you go to a guy out of your network. Call your insurance company to find somebody.

Luckily, Mrs. MC made some calls, and while the guy they wanted to send me to isn't in network, they surgery center he works at is and they've got an ortho immediate care center. So, we go there and they explain exactly what I did: a Weber C fracture of the ankle (a break in the fibula just above the ankle joint and displacement/damage to the ligaments that stabilize the ankle) and a break in my fibula near the knee.  They're going to put a plate and some screws in my ankle to stabilize it and force the break near the knee back into position.

I had the last laugh on the ice, though.  While waiting for the paramedics, I was able to salt the porch so no one else would fall.
It's a thing.  It's like a plan, but with more greatness.

Fighting? There's no fighting in Plan C. Plan C is run away faster!

The past with dumb people who wanted to kill us for dumb reasons is behind us.  Ahead is a new place with new people who'll want to kill us for totally different reasons!

Offline Beilzebot

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Re: Tell a Story
« Reply #506 on: February 20, 2018, 02:11:38 AM »
Some goober tried to recruit me into a pyramid scheme, guy approaches me as im going to my Chem lab and chats me about about how i have a nice jacket and that I had good style. I thought he was hitting on me until I realized he was just a recruiter. I went in just for sh*ts n gigs to see what the operation was like and it didn't disappoint. Some ratty office in the outskirts of my metro area adjacent to my weed dispensary. I did not join the pyramid scheme, because I'm not that much of an idiot
signatures make me feel like it's 2006 again