Author Topic: "The Nameless"  (Read 430 times)

Offline Gulliver63

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Re: "The Nameless"
« Reply #30 on: November 15, 2017, 04:07:36 PM »
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"Cool Ghoul Science Fiction Theater"

The Cool Ghoul was something I stole from my childhood in Cincinnati; his good buddy here in Indianapolis was the late Sammy Terry. Those are some good memories...
 
"When I was a kid my parents moved a lot, but I always found them." Rodney Dangerfield

"Always carry a flagon of whiskey in case of snakebite and furthermore, always carry a small snake." W. C. Fields

Offline Gulliver63

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Re: "The Nameless"
« Reply #31 on: November 19, 2017, 11:40:51 PM »
In our story's conclusion, the Planet Cyclon gets a new cowboy...but is he worthy of his spurs?"

Later that afternoon, as Leela took a minute to chat with some of her friends before heading back to Earth, Madame Crystima leaned over to ask her a question. “Leela,” she asked, “what is a cow boy?”
   Leela got a funny look on her face, and then answered the question. “Well, think of it as being a stormrider on Earth many, many years ago. Why do you ask?”
   “I was just told that one is riding into town.” She thought a minute. “So, what is a cow?”
   Leela’s jaw dropped as Bert Schaeffer came riding by on a veng beast, dressed from head to toe in a cowboy outfit. He sported a bullhide hat, black leather chaps, and expensive boots. “Hey, Lita,”  he yelled, “what do you think?”
   “Bert, what are you doing?”
   “Did ya hear? I got a 12 percent market share on last night’s show! Half the galaxy watched us…I’m doing more episodes from here before I leave.”
   “But…the outfit…”
   “We picked up a new sponsor - Laramie Cigarettes! I’m gonna ride this beast as part of the promotion. What do you think…I look kind of like the Stoned Ranger.”
   “Don’t you mean the Lone Ranger?”
   “Yeah…him.”
   “What are those things dangling from his boots?” asked Crystima.
   “Oh, no…those are spurs. Bert, you’ve got to take those off. Don’t kick that veng with those.”
   Crystima, who was not known for making fun of someone, leaned over and whispered loudly to Leela. “Ee-shalla gakki-t’aa,” she told her.
   Leela burst out into laughter. “I know…he is hilarious looking, isn’t he?”
   “Hey, watch me as I do a Bruce Wayne out of town.”
   “I think that guy was John Wayne, Bert.” Leela again got a serious look on her face. “And get those damn spurs off of your boots…”
   Bert gave a hardy cowboy cry, and jammed his spurs into the creature’s side. The beast let out a loud, deep bellow and took off like a rocket - they could run quite fast. Bert was held helplessly by his leg like a rag doll as the veng sped on. The animal zig-zagged up the busy street, and then finally slammed into a market stand. Leela and her friends bolted over to the scene of the accident where Bert lay in a crumpled heap.

   Camera-bot floated into the hospital room where Bert Schaeffer lay in a bed with his broken leg up in a sling. Bert cleared his throat and readied his best dramatic voice for the camera. “I have lived the real life of a true man of adventure. I have lived on the planet of the heroic Warrior Priestess, and have lived among her people. It’s only when you live this close to the land that you find out what you really are as a man. Even though some of my bones are shattered as I lie in this hospital bed, I will emerge from this experience stronger than before. Again, I want to thank our sponsor Laramie Cigarettes for making these episodes on Cyclon possible. Laramie…tastes good like a cigarette should. And, as always, may you find your god and go with him or her. This is Bert Schaeffer, signing off.”
   “Did I get it that time?” asked Bert.
   “Oh, it was fabulous, B. S.,” blathered Terry, “legendary!”
“Something about the lighting was screwed up. Let’s do that again, from the top.”

The End
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"When I was a kid my parents moved a lot, but I always found them." Rodney Dangerfield

"Always carry a flagon of whiskey in case of snakebite and furthermore, always carry a small snake." W. C. Fields

Offline El-Man

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Re: "The Nameless"
« Reply #32 on: November 20, 2017, 02:44:24 AM »
In our story's conclusion, the Planet Cyclon gets a new cowboy...but is he worthy of his spurs?

Bert, you're all hat and no veng.  :)

Offline Gulliver63

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Re: "The Nameless"
« Reply #33 on: November 20, 2017, 06:12:52 AM »
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Bert, you're all hat and no veng.

But you've got to hand it to him - he did do a "Bruce Wayne" out of town...  :saywhat:
"When I was a kid my parents moved a lot, but I always found them." Rodney Dangerfield

"Always carry a flagon of whiskey in case of snakebite and furthermore, always carry a small snake." W. C. Fields

Offline El-Man

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Re: "The Nameless"
« Reply #34 on: November 20, 2017, 06:22:06 AM »
But you've got to hand it to him - he did do a "Bruce Wayne" out of town...

A Wayne Campbell, maybe...  :giggle:

Offline Gulliver63

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Re: "The Nameless"
« Reply #35 on: November 20, 2017, 09:37:29 AM »
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A Wayne Campbell, maybe...

Ha...I darn near ended up with the same car those guys had, an AMC Pacer, but the deal fell through. That would have been my first car.
"When I was a kid my parents moved a lot, but I always found them." Rodney Dangerfield

"Always carry a flagon of whiskey in case of snakebite and furthermore, always carry a small snake." W. C. Fields

Offline Flounder

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Re: "The Nameless"
« Reply #36 on: December 01, 2017, 09:49:17 AM »
Camera-bot floated into the hospital room where Bert Schaeffer lay in a bed with his broken leg up in a sling. Bert cleared his throat and readied his best dramatic voice for the camera. “I have lived the real life of a true man of adventure...

He is a true Bert Schaeffer artist.  Or something like that, with the same initials.  B^)

Good one, Gulliver! :thumbsup: :thumbsup: :thumbsup:  I wouldn't think that TV could do any good at all, but apparently it can. ;)
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Offline Gulliver63

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Re: "The Nameless"
« Reply #37 on: December 01, 2017, 12:53:07 PM »
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I wouldn't think that TV could do any good at all, but apparently it can.

Leela had to use whatever weapon she could, and that was the best one.
"When I was a kid my parents moved a lot, but I always found them." Rodney Dangerfield

"Always carry a flagon of whiskey in case of snakebite and furthermore, always carry a small snake." W. C. Fields

Offline Ramon 51

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Re: "The Nameless"
« Reply #38 on: December 13, 2017, 09:58:52 PM »
The Stoned Ranger! ROTFLAMO! :crylol: :crylol: Great story! :wannaeat:
"Even in literature and art, no man who bothers about originality will ever be original: whereas if you simply try to tell the truth (without caring twopence how often it has been told before) you will, nine times out of ten, become original without ever having noticed it."
C. S. Lewis