Author Topic: Tossing out those Futurama lines...  (Read 15094 times)

Offline Red_Line

  • Assistant plasma fusion boiler stoker, grade 218
  • Administrator
  • Whale Oil Tycoon
  • *****
  • Posts: 3327
  • Let's see what these things will do...
    • Red_Line's Futurama Fanfic stash
Re: Tossing out those Futurama lines...
« Reply #150 on: July 08, 2018, 02:45:31 AM »
Not me, but a guy I work with that also watched Futurama (see my post above about the cigars. That guy)

So, we're talking about Northwestern University screwing things up for some work that we're doing in Evanston (the town where Northwestern is located).  Long story short, the father of a woman who works here is the head engineer for the University's construction projects, and when the university didn't locate their utilities, he got all up in the guy that was supposed to locate them.  This led to a discussion about Northwestern not being great on safety.

One story she told was how they were moving a crane, and they didn't balance it correctly, leading it to falling over and crushing a dean's car.  So, the guy replied with a simple, "ROBOT HOOOOOUUUUUUUUSEEE!!!!!"

Totally off topic, for which I give myself three demerits, but Northwestern U just hired the worst boss I ever had, so their screw up ratio just went way up.
"Unthinking respect for authority is the greatest enemy of truth" - Albert  Einstein


my fanfics  |  How to submit  |  FMMB rules  |  FMMB FAQ

Offline Flounder

  • Chief Engineer of the Planet Express Ship
  • Board Moderator
  • Whale Oil Tycoon
  • ***
  • Posts: 2459
  • Ad astra! (To the stars!)
Re: Tossing out those Futurama lines...
« Reply #151 on: August 04, 2018, 10:43:02 AM »
One of my bosses was working with another instructor all last week to get him up to speed on a particular course.  Yesterday he told me the guy's performance was adequate; to which I of course said, "Hooray! We're adequate!"  (Unfortunately, he didn't have a clue.)

A few days ago some of us adjuncts were sitting around having the usual pre-8 AM bull session in the office where we do paperwork, develop curriculum, and tell lots of sea stories.  One of the guys, who is a fellow ex-Navy nuc electrician, mentioned something about the curriculum with which I heartily agreed by saying, "Silence!  I concur!"  (He didn't get it either.)

It's been a good week.  :mellow:
There are 10 types of people in the world: those who understand binary, and those who don't.

Offline Red_Line

  • Assistant plasma fusion boiler stoker, grade 218
  • Administrator
  • Whale Oil Tycoon
  • *****
  • Posts: 3327
  • Let's see what these things will do...
    • Red_Line's Futurama Fanfic stash
Re: Tossing out those Futurama lines...
« Reply #152 on: August 10, 2018, 05:44:16 PM »
One of my spawn is getting married in my back yard.  One of the other spawn and I were out yesterday setting up lighting, part of which involves providing some illumination so drunks can find their way through rural woods back to the field where they will be parking.  We had a rope light that was 150 distance units long and I had paced out the darkest part of the path at 49 paces.  To calibrate my paces, I found it took 15 paces to cover the 40 distance unit width of the tent.  Other spawn asked what I was doing.

"Stand back," I said dramatically, "I'm afraid we're going to have to use ... MATH".
"Unthinking respect for authority is the greatest enemy of truth" - Albert  Einstein


my fanfics  |  How to submit  |  FMMB rules  |  FMMB FAQ

Offline MTC29

  • Whale Oil Tycoon
  • ***
  • Posts: 907
Re: Tossing out those Futurama lines...
« Reply #153 on: August 10, 2018, 11:57:01 PM »
One of my spawn is getting married in my back yard.  One of the other spawn and I were out yesterday setting up lighting, part of which involves providing some illumination so drunks can find their way through rural woods back to the field where they will be parking.  We had a rope light that was 150 distance units long and I had paced out the darkest part of the path at 49 paces.  To calibrate my paces, I found it took 15 paces to cover the 40 distance unit width of the tent.  Other spawn asked what I was doing.

"Stand back," I said dramatically, "I'm afraid we're going to have to use ... MATH".

In the deepest and darkest recesses of your mind you always knew that someday math could prove useful. Congrats to the spawn, bride or groom...you never stated which.
Nothing can be made idiot proof because idiots are far too clever.

Offline Red_Line

  • Assistant plasma fusion boiler stoker, grade 218
  • Administrator
  • Whale Oil Tycoon
  • *****
  • Posts: 3327
  • Let's see what these things will do...
    • Red_Line's Futurama Fanfic stash
Re: Tossing out those Futurama lines...
« Reply #154 on: August 11, 2018, 10:20:44 PM »
One of my spawn is getting married in my back yard.  One of the other spawn and I were out yesterday setting up lighting, part of which involves providing some illumination so drunks can find their way through rural woods back to the field where they will be parking.  We had a rope light that was 150 distance units long and I had paced out the darkest part of the path at 49 paces.  To calibrate my paces, I found it took 15 paces to cover the 40 distance unit width of the tent.  Other spawn asked what I was doing.

"Stand back," I said dramatically, "I'm afraid we're going to have to use ... MATH".

In the deepest and darkest recesses of your mind you always knew that someday math could prove useful. Congrats to the spawn, bride or groom...you never stated which.

Thank you.  Spawns were my two daughters.  The youngest of which was the one getting hitched, so bride.

Math has been remarkably useful in most things.  The most fun is when dealing with life insurance and investment sellers.  The phrase "I can do math" strikes fear into their hearts like nothing else.  >:D
"Unthinking respect for authority is the greatest enemy of truth" - Albert  Einstein


my fanfics  |  How to submit  |  FMMB rules  |  FMMB FAQ

Offline MTC29

  • Whale Oil Tycoon
  • ***
  • Posts: 907
Re: Tossing out those Futurama lines...
« Reply #155 on: August 11, 2018, 10:52:39 PM »
In that case, congratulations to the lovely Miss Red_Line. When the time came for your daughter to select a wedding gown, was any consideration given to this one?

Nothing can be made idiot proof because idiots are far too clever.

Offline Red_Line

  • Assistant plasma fusion boiler stoker, grade 218
  • Administrator
  • Whale Oil Tycoon
  • *****
  • Posts: 3327
  • Let's see what these things will do...
    • Red_Line's Futurama Fanfic stash
Re: Tossing out those Futurama lines...
« Reply #156 on: August 12, 2018, 10:59:59 PM »
Sadly no.  As the father of the bride I was not in the loop except for writing the checks.  I had exactly three tasks: show up, suit up, shut up.  :rolleyes:
"Unthinking respect for authority is the greatest enemy of truth" - Albert  Einstein


my fanfics  |  How to submit  |  FMMB rules  |  FMMB FAQ

Offline Marloc

  • I Summon Bigger Fish
  • Board Moderator
  • Whale Oil Tycoon
  • ***
  • Posts: 3312
  • (V) (0,,,,0) (V)
Re: Tossing out those Futurama lines...
« Reply #157 on: August 14, 2018, 04:05:43 PM »
Sadly no.  As the father of the bride I was not in the loop except for writing the checks.  I had exactly three tasks: show up, suit up, shut up.  :rolleyes:
Funny, I remember that being mostly my job when Mrs. MC and I got hitched.   :crylol:
It's a thing.  It's like a plan, but with more greatness.

Fighting? There's no fighting in Plan C. Plan C is run away faster!

The past with dumb people who wanted to kill us for dumb reasons is behind us.  Ahead is a new place with new people who'll want to kill us for totally different reasons!

Online El-Man

  • MomCorp Stockholder
  • **
  • Posts: 525
Re: Tossing out those Futurama lines...
« Reply #158 on: August 14, 2018, 09:21:11 PM »
Sadly no.  As the father of the bride I was not in the loop except for writing the checks.  I had exactly three tasks: show up, suit up, shut up.  :rolleyes:

I hope you got to walk her down the lawn, at least?  :martini: :inlove: :flowers:

Offline Gulliver63

  • Egocentrist Extraordinaire
  • Whale Oil Tycoon
  • ***
  • Posts: 2583
  • Speaker to Cyclopes
Re: Tossing out those Futurama lines...
« Reply #159 on: August 15, 2018, 01:44:13 AM »
Quote
I had exactly three tasks: show up, suit up, shut up.

That reminded me of a Jurassic Park quote I think of at work all the time: "All you need to do is sign the checks and open your case of Scotch when we have a good day."
"When I was a kid my parents moved a lot, but I always found them." Rodney Dangerfield

"Always carry a flagon of whiskey in case of snakebite and furthermore, always carry a small snake." W. C. Fields

Offline Red_Line

  • Assistant plasma fusion boiler stoker, grade 218
  • Administrator
  • Whale Oil Tycoon
  • *****
  • Posts: 3327
  • Let's see what these things will do...
    • Red_Line's Futurama Fanfic stash
Re: Tossing out those Futurama lines...
« Reply #160 on: August 16, 2018, 02:12:57 AM »
I hope you got to walk her down the lawn, at least?  :martini: :inlove: :flowers:

Yes, I did do that.  We hid behind the tree in the front yard (so the groom couldn't see her), then through the gate, around the end of the pond, past the fake rock that covers the well, and down the aisle.  My work there was now done.  :crylol:

That reminded me of a Jurassic Park quote I think of at work all the time: "All you need to do is sign the checks and open your case of Scotch when we have a good day."

Ha!  Speaking of which, we had enough booze for a frat party and still have enough left over to embalm the whole neighborhood.  So if anyone feels the need to go on a real bender, please, stop by.  I'll never get rid of all of this by myself.
"Unthinking respect for authority is the greatest enemy of truth" - Albert  Einstein


my fanfics  |  How to submit  |  FMMB rules  |  FMMB FAQ

Offline Marloc

  • I Summon Bigger Fish
  • Board Moderator
  • Whale Oil Tycoon
  • ***
  • Posts: 3312
  • (V) (0,,,,0) (V)
Re: Tossing out those Futurama lines...
« Reply #161 on: August 16, 2018, 06:50:57 PM »
Ha!  Speaking of which, we had enough booze for a frat party and still have enough left over to embalm the whole neighborhood.  So if anyone feels the need to go on a real bender, please, stop by.  I'll never get rid of all of this by myself.

Yeah, yeah, amen. Listen, I'm one of those lazy, homeless bums I've been hearing about. Could you point me to the free booze?
It's a thing.  It's like a plan, but with more greatness.

Fighting? There's no fighting in Plan C. Plan C is run away faster!

The past with dumb people who wanted to kill us for dumb reasons is behind us.  Ahead is a new place with new people who'll want to kill us for totally different reasons!

Offline MTC29

  • Whale Oil Tycoon
  • ***
  • Posts: 907
Re: Tossing out those Futurama lines...
« Reply #162 on: August 18, 2018, 07:10:45 PM »
"Stand back," I said dramatically, "I'm afraid we're going to have to use ... MATH".

Math rocks! At least our parents said that we were cool.

Nothing can be made idiot proof because idiots are far too clever.

Offline Gulliver63

  • Egocentrist Extraordinaire
  • Whale Oil Tycoon
  • ***
  • Posts: 2583
  • Speaker to Cyclopes
Re: Tossing out those Futurama lines...
« Reply #163 on: August 21, 2018, 04:50:00 PM »
I just had a truck driver pull up and tell me, "Now here's a man that just loves his job." I put my fingers on my wrist as if to take my pulse and told him, "I'm still technically alive..."
"When I was a kid my parents moved a lot, but I always found them." Rodney Dangerfield

"Always carry a flagon of whiskey in case of snakebite and furthermore, always carry a small snake." W. C. Fields