Author Topic: The Targ Whisperer  (Read 2501 times)

Offline El-Man

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Re: The Targ Whisperer
« Reply #105 on: May 20, 2018, 02:14:30 PM »
The first item was whether to discontinue selling sandwiches in the Mombil refueling stations across the galaxy.

No doubt we will be hearing from other subsidiaries, like Momgan Stanley, Momtorola Solutions, and Momsanto. :)

Offline Gulliver63

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Re: The Targ Whisperer
« Reply #106 on: May 20, 2018, 10:32:06 PM »
That was a nice collection of folks from the show...
"When I was a kid my parents moved a lot, but I always found them." Rodney Dangerfield

"Always carry a flagon of whiskey in case of snakebite and furthermore, always carry a small snake." W. C. Fields

Offline Ramon 51

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Re: The Targ Whisperer
« Reply #107 on: May 22, 2018, 01:26:56 AM »
Thanks! I made a small change to the last paragraph.

"She picked up a tablet which was on the desk in front of her to look at the meeting agenda. The first item was whether to discontinue selling egg salad sandwiches in the bathroom vending machines at Mombil refueling stations across the galaxy. Leela sighed inwardly. This was going to be a long meeting."
"Even in literature and art, no man who bothers about originality will ever be original: whereas if you simply try to tell the truth (without caring twopence how often it has been told before) you will, nine times out of ten, become original without ever having noticed it."
C. S. Lewis

Offline Ramon 51

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Re: The Targ Whisperer
« Reply #108 on: May 25, 2018, 01:16:49 AM »
I'm working on a personal specialty...a shower scene.  Here's a snippet.

Leela moved around to face Fry before giving him a long, soulful kiss. When they parted, Fry spoke. “I love you Leela.”

Her response was to gently run her fingers up and down his back while purring, “I love you too.” Again she took his right ear lobe gently between her teeth before saying, “Wednesday I thought you wanted to shower with me. Well, how about it?”

Fry’s whole body was quivering with anticipation. He fought to keep his voice in a normal register, “Um…sure…that would be great!”

Leela stepped away, “Wait here until I come back.” She smiled seductively, “And keep your eyes closed…no peeking.”

Fry managed a husky, “Okay.” He could hear Leela as she padded quietly into their bedroom. Then she went into their bathroom and got the shower running. Memories of previous showers together gave Fry goosebumps all over his body.


To be continued.............
"Even in literature and art, no man who bothers about originality will ever be original: whereas if you simply try to tell the truth (without caring twopence how often it has been told before) you will, nine times out of ten, become original without ever having noticed it."
C. S. Lewis

Offline Ramon 51

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Re: The Targ Whisperer
« Reply #109 on: May 25, 2018, 01:59:48 PM »
OK. Here's the latest installment.
Fry & Leela’s Apartment
Munda and Morris were making their last-minute checks to make sure that the kids had everything they would need for the evening. They had volunteered to watch them Friday night so Fry and Leela could have a quiet night together before the arrival of the ‘Targ Whisperer’ and his crew. Phibby, Bodie, Philip, and Yancy were lined up for inspection. Munda asked, “Do you all have your bags?”

They all nodded, while both Phibby and Yancy said, “Yes, Nana.”

Morris asked, “Did everyone use the bathroom?”

All of the children nodded.

Suddenly, Phibby’s eyes opened wide, “Fluffy hasn’t gotten to go for a walk yet!”

“Won’t Mommy do that when she gets home?’ Morris asked.

“It’s my ‘sponsibility!” Phibby looked determined, “I’m a big girl and my Mommy depends on me.”

“Do you know how to walk her?” Munda asked dubiously.

“Yes, Nana.” She smiled. “Bodie helps me sometimes.”

Bodie interjected, “Oh, I absolutely do!”

Suppressing a smile, Munda said gravely, “Well, we can’t let you not do your responsibilities. We’ll take her for a quick walk before we go. Okay?”

“I’ll get the leash,” Yancy said before he sped off for the kitchen.

“I’ll get the poo bags,” Bodie offered as she skipped after Yancy.

Philip said, “I’ll let her out of the cage!”

“My,” Morris said gravely, “You really have this down!”

“Yes, Grandpa.” Phibby answered, “Bodie and me,” she caught herself, “Bodie and I do this all the time with Daddy.”

Yancy came back with the bags, trailed by Bodie with the leash – a braided dayglo pink affair that looked oddly out of place hooked to a 50-kilogram, razor toothed Targ.

Philip came in from Phibby’s bedroom, trailed by Fluffy who was snorting and slobbering a bit.

Phibby got down on her knees in front of Fluffy and scratched her neck. “Who’s a good girl? Do you want to go for a walk?”

Fluffy responded with a series of grunts and yipping sounds which Morris and Munda took for the Targ version of, “Yes, please!”

There was a metallic click as Phibby snapped the leash onto Fluffy’s collar. She turned to Morris, “Grandpa, do you want to be the adult for this walk? Mommy says we always have to bring an adult.”

“Sure Miss Mouse.”

“The let’s go.” Phibby said quietly. “Come on Bodie.”

“Righto!”

They left the apartment and went down the stairs, the sound of Fluffy’s hooves making a clacking sound on the wooden floor. Phibby was in the lead. Just like she had seen on so many Targ Whisperer episodes, her left arm was relaxed at her side holding the leash loosely. Morris was behind her, followed by Bodie.

They went out onto the street, where much to Morris’ amusement pedestrians either crowded against the building or crossed the street to avoid Fluffy. Phibby took no notice of them. After about three blocks, Fluffy did her business. Phibby handed the leash to Bodie and deftly removed the evidence. Knotting the bag, she placed it in a pouch on the leash.

“Good girl!” Phibby said. “Time to go home.”

They retraced their steps to the apartment. When they got through the door, Phibby rubbed Fluffy’s ruff before putting her back in the cage. She checked Nibbler’s bowl to make sure he had food and that his litter box was clean. “Now we can go Nana,” she announced.

“What a big girl you are!” Munda exclaimed.

“Bodie, Philip, and Yancy helped too.” She said with a smile.

“Yes, they did.” Munda replied, “I am so proud of you all.” She took a moment and scribbled a note for Leela. It read.

“Leela,
Targ walked, Nibbler fed.
Love you,
Mom”


Wreathed in smiles, they left the apartment for the Turanga residence and a night of pizza, ice cream, and board games.

Twenty minutes after what Morris often called “the caravan” had left, Fry and Leela arrived at the apartment. Fry entered first.

He looked around before saying, “It’s kind of weird not having the kids here, isn’t it Leela?”

Leela responded by gently putting her arms around Fry’s waist while simultaneously taking his right ear lobe gently in her teeth. She breathed into his ear, “Weird and sexy.”

Fry almost collapsed. “Uh huh,” was the only answer he could muster.

Leela moved around to face Fry before giving him a long, soulful kiss. When they parted, Fry spoke. “I love you Leela.”

Her response was to gently run her fingers up and down his back while purring, “I love you too.” Again she took his right ear lobe gently between her teeth before saying, “Wednesday I thought you wanted to shower with me. Well, how about it?”

Fry’s whole body was quivering with anticipation. He fought to keep his voice in a normal register, “Um…sure…that would be great!”

Leela stepped away, “Wait here until I come back.” She smiled seductively, “And keep your eyes closed…no peeking.”

Fry managed a husky, “Okay.” He could hear Leela as she padded quietly into their bedroom. Then she went into their bathroom and got the shower running. Memories of previous showers together gave Fry goosebumps all over his body.

After what seemed like an eternity, Leela returned. She said quietly, “I’m going to put a blindfold on you.” She giggled, “Don’t worry. I won’t get too kinky.”

Fry felt his knees almost ready to give way.

“Now let Mommy undress Daddy.” Leela proceeded to peel off Fry’s jacket, followed by his shirt, shoes, sox, pants, and briefs.” The entire time she caressed him teasingly. She took him by the left hand, “Follow me, husband.”

Fry followed in a daze.

Leela guided him to the shower.  He could feel droplets of water on his hand as Leela said, “Now take off your blindfold.” Fry whipped the blindfold off, blinked, and could see the outline of Leela’s nude, curvaceous body partially obscured by clouds of steam. He stepped into the shower, enjoying the feel of the hot water on his body.

Leela spoke, “Now let Mommy clean Daddy up.” Without waiting for a reply, Leela went to work. The occasional touch of Leela’s body against his, the glimpses of her beauty through the steam, and the gentle action of her hands almost drove him over the edge.

“Let me rinse you off,” Leela cooed. “Now Daddy, clean Mommy.”

Fry went to work with a will, enjoying every picosecond of the experience. He especially enjoyed shampooing her rich purple hair. Once he finished rinsing her off, Leela said, “Time to dry off.”

As they stepped out of the shower Fry said, “Ladies first.” She smiled as he dried her body off and toweled her hair dry. “You’re pretty good at this.” She said before adding, “I wonder what else you are good at?”

Before Fry could speak she toweled him off, lingering in areas where she knew it would drive him wild. “Looks like we’re all clean,” Leela said with an impish grin. “What do we do now?”

Much to her surprise and secret delight, Fry swept Leela off her feet and deposited her gently on the bed. Their lovemaking had the intensity of a prolonged volcanic eruption. As they drifted off to sleep, Leela snuggled next to a thoroughly exhausted Fry and asked, “Did you enjoy my little surprise?”

Fry nodded, “I sure did.”

“Let’s take a nap.” Leela replied. “Then I’ll make us some dinner.”

“Okay.” Fry replied sleepily.

Leela watched him until he began to snore lightly. Then she set the alarm, snuggled next to Fry, and fell into a deep sleep.
"Even in literature and art, no man who bothers about originality will ever be original: whereas if you simply try to tell the truth (without caring twopence how often it has been told before) you will, nine times out of ten, become original without ever having noticed it."
C. S. Lewis

Offline Ramon 51

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Re: The Targ Whisperer
« Reply #110 on: May 29, 2018, 01:23:15 AM »
And a wee bit more...
Momsanto Laboratory, 5,000 feet above New-New York

Zoidberg yawned for the fifth time in twenty minutes. He was bone tired…well, exoskeleton tired. He had been working two jobs, one as the physician at Planet Express and the other as a genetic researcher for Momsanto…snipping DNA by the hour. He thought about going home to his dumpster outside the old Planet Express building, but he was too weary. Then a thought struck him, there was an empty dumpster just outside his lab by the elevator.

“I’ll climb inside and catch a few winks, why not?” He stretched, yawned again, and scuttled over to the empty dumpster. He crawled inside where the familiar smell of garbage and medical waste swiftly soothed him to sleep.

It was later that evening that Zoidberg heard voices right next to his dumpster. They were of a man and a woman arguing.

The woman said heatedly, “It wasn’t my fault!”

The man shot back, “It was your idea to kidnap the kids from the Orphanarium.”

“Like Hell it was…that was the Professor’s idea and you know it!”

“Well what about kidnapping those other kids?” He snorted, “That went over like a lead balloon.”

“Also not my idea.” He could almost see her shaking her fist in his face, “You and the Professor are such crybabies. You never want to take the blame.” Her voice increased in volume, “You and Wernstrom are such…such…MEN!”

“Lower you voice,” the man said. “Someone might hear you.”

“Well, you can stick a fork in me,” the said calmly. “I’m done.”

“You’ll be ruined academically.”

“I could care less.” He voice became tinged with emotion, “I’m not going to contribute to this experiment anymore.”

“It’s your funeral,” the man said ominously.

“Is that a threat?”

“No…just a metaphor for a ruined career.”

“At least I’ll be able to sleep at night.” A chime announced the arrival of the elevator. Their voices began to move away, “I’m going home,” the woman said wearily.

“Please think it over,” the man pleaded. “You are the only colleague I can stand.”

She gave a short laugh. “How can a girl resist that?”

Zoidberg peeked out to see to lab coated figures step into the elevator. The doors closed behind them and all was silent again.
“Zoidberg, you have to tell someone about this,” he said aloud. “You have to tell someone."
« Last Edit: May 31, 2018, 12:11:32 AM by Ramon 51 »
"Even in literature and art, no man who bothers about originality will ever be original: whereas if you simply try to tell the truth (without caring twopence how often it has been told before) you will, nine times out of ten, become original without ever having noticed it."
C. S. Lewis

Offline Gulliver63

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Re: The Targ Whisperer
« Reply #111 on: May 30, 2018, 10:31:38 PM »
You know I'm loving this... :)
"When I was a kid my parents moved a lot, but I always found them." Rodney Dangerfield

"Always carry a flagon of whiskey in case of snakebite and furthermore, always carry a small snake." W. C. Fields

Offline Ramon 51

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Re: The Targ Whisperer
« Reply #112 on: May 31, 2018, 12:12:11 AM »
Thanks, Gulliver! :mellow:
"Even in literature and art, no man who bothers about originality will ever be original: whereas if you simply try to tell the truth (without caring twopence how often it has been told before) you will, nine times out of ten, become original without ever having noticed it."
C. S. Lewis

Offline El-Man

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Re: The Targ Whisperer
« Reply #113 on: May 31, 2018, 12:30:27 AM »
“Zoidberg, you have to tell someone about this,” he said aloud. “You have to tell someone."

Who's going to believe the poor lobster?

Offline Flounder

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Re: The Targ Whisperer
« Reply #114 on: May 31, 2018, 01:14:42 AM »
In all these installments...There's no part of that sentence I didn't like![/zoidberg]

Fry went to work with a will, enjoying every picosecond of the experience.

Well, honestly, who wouldn't? ;)

“Zoidberg, you have to tell someone about this,” he said aloud. “You have to tell someone."

Zoidberg is afoot!

Love it!  Please grace us with more as soon as the inspiration hits you.

 :thumbsup: :giggle: :thumbsup: :crylol: :thumbsup: :yummy: :thumbsup:
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Offline Ramon 51

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Re: The Targ Whisperer
« Reply #115 on: June 02, 2018, 12:35:15 AM »
Thanks guys! I'll probably write some more tomorrow. :wannaeat:
"Even in literature and art, no man who bothers about originality will ever be original: whereas if you simply try to tell the truth (without caring twopence how often it has been told before) you will, nine times out of ten, become original without ever having noticed it."
C. S. Lewis

Offline Ramon 51

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Re: The Targ Whisperer
« Reply #116 on: July 09, 2018, 01:07:23 AM »
Sorry it took so long to post. Life intervened. Here's a bit more.

Fry & Leela’s Apartment

Fry paced back and forth in front of the couch. He would sit down for a few seconds, then stand up and resume his pacing. Leela controlled her urge to shout at him to stop. Instead she remembered something their marriage counselor and friend Venus had told her – “Love him into it.” So, she stepped in front of Fry, threw her arms around him, and gave him a passionate kiss.

“Wow!” Fry exclaimed, “what was that for?”

“To calm you down,” Leela answered with a smile.

“I’m still nervous,” he said with a grin.

“Well then,” she replied. “I guess we’ll have to do something about that.” She kissed him again, very sweetly. Before things could go any further, they both heard a key being tuned in the door. “That will be Mom and the kids.”

Sure enough, the door opened to reveal Munda, surrounded by Phibby, Bodie, and the boys. “Hi sweetie!” she called.

“Hi, mom!” Fry responded. “Did you guys have a good time?”

Munda smiled, “We had such a wonderful time!” The kids all nodded their heads in vigorous assent.

Leela came up and gave Munda a hug, “Were they good for you?”

“Of course!” Munda’s exclaimed. “They were perfect angels.”

Leela turned her attention to the kids, “How about you guys put your stuff away, OK?”

Phibby, Yancy, and Philip answered, “Yes Mommy.” Bodie replied, “Yes, Mrs. F.” Leela chuckled at Bodies’ response. Where she had picked it up, she didn’t know…but she thought it was cute. Bodie and Phibby were so inseparable that each had closet space at the other’s apartment.

Fry went with the boys into their room to make sure they did the job right. Phibby needed no such supervision. Fry decided it was because she had inherited Leela’s orderliness gene…or something like that. Bodie always followed Phibby’s lead when it came to keeping everything straight.

When Fry emerged from the boy’s room, he saw that Munda was still chatting with Leela. “Are you going to stay to watch them tape the episode?’

Munda shook her head, “Ugh!” She gestured at her dress, “I wouldn’t want anyone to see me in this schmatta.” Munda quickly said her goodbyes. Once the door closed, Leela looked at her Wristamajigy, “Gosh, it’s only ten minutes until the film crew arrives. I think I’ll put on some coffee.”

“Great idea, Leela. I’ll help.”

 The coffee had just finished brewing when there was a knock at the door. Leela looked at the wall clock, “Wow. Right on the money.”

Fry went and opened the door. He absolutely geeked out when he saw the Targ Whisperer standing there with a huge, male Targ at his side, followed by a camera man – actually a camera robot – and a female Klingon Fry thought was Woof’s wife. “Mr. Woof! It is so good to see you! Come in…come in!”

“Woof will do,” he said as he stepped into the apartment. He fixed Fry with a stern look, “Are you certain you wish to be on the show?”

“Oh yes,” Fry said while shifting from foot to foot in excitement. “And my wife and my kids want to be on the show too.”

Leela emerged from the kitchen, “Kapla Woof, son of Arf of the House of Mog. I am Leela, wife of Philip. These are our children, Amphibia, Philip, and Yancy.” She pointed to Bodie, “This little girl is Boudicca, Amphibia’s best friend. Do you want some coffee?”

“Yes.” Woof gestured toward the couch, “Let us sit.”

When they had all taken their seats Woof gestured to the female Klingon, “This is my mate, Ba’el. She also produces the show.”

Both Fry and Leela smiled. “Hello,” they said simultaneously. The children sat quietly…all except Philip who said, “Hey.”

Ba’el returned a ferocious looking Klingon smile, “Hello.” Her face resumed the normal Klingon demeanor, “Let us get on with business.”

So…they did. In a very short time Ba’el explained how the filming would go. What surprised both Fry and Leela was that Woof wanted Fry to handle the Targ they had brought with them.

“What’s his name?” Fry asked.

HoH.” Woof replied.

“That sounds nice,” Leela said.

“OK.” Fry stood up, “Let’s do this.”

For the next hour and a half, Fry worked with HoH without a glitch. All the while the camera robot filmed everything. About a half hour into the process, Leela asked “Do you want to see Fluffy?”

“Yes.” Ba’el replied. “Do you think you could take them both for a walk?”

“Sure.” Fry replied without hesitation. “Could Phibby…I mean Amphibia help?”

“Does she know how to walk a Targ?” Ba’el asked somewhat incredulously.

“Yes, Ma’am.” Phibby replied. “It’s my ‘sponsibility.”

Together, Fry and Phibby put Fluffy and HoH through their paces.  It included obedience, walking them, taking them to the park, and feeding them.

When Ba’el decided they had enough tape for a show, Woof growled, “You both handle Targs like a Klingon.”  Ba’el asked, “Fry, would you consider coming on the show for a few episodes?”

“Snap!” Fry replied, “you bet I would!”

“Then we will contact you with details later this week,” Ba’el said with one of her most ferocious Klingon smiles.

With the usual Klingon brevity, they bid Fry, Leela, and Phibby farewell.

As they left, Fry said excitedly, “I’m going to be a Targ Whisperer!”
"Even in literature and art, no man who bothers about originality will ever be original: whereas if you simply try to tell the truth (without caring twopence how often it has been told before) you will, nine times out of ten, become original without ever having noticed it."
C. S. Lewis

Offline Gulliver63

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Re: The Targ Whisperer
« Reply #117 on: July 10, 2018, 07:53:57 AM »
This story is so much fun...Yiddish and Klingon in the same story!  :)
"When I was a kid my parents moved a lot, but I always found them." Rodney Dangerfield

"Always carry a flagon of whiskey in case of snakebite and furthermore, always carry a small snake." W. C. Fields