Author Topic: "Men in Black-arama"  (Read 469 times)

Offline Gulliver63

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Re: "Men in Black-arama"
« Reply #30 on: May 05, 2018, 02:35:24 PM »
...In the middle of a Mexican Stand-off, someone is coming...

Kelgugg turned.
 Fry gave his best Mea Culpa. “And if I hit someone with my bicycle, well, I’m sorry for that. And a few people might have gotten food poisoning from the pizzas I delivered. But just because I delivered terrible pizzas, that’s no reason to hunt me down like an animal.”
   Kelgugg studied the group that came in. “So, if it isn’t the famous ‘boy who made good.’ And you brought those pesky Men in Black with you. Tell me young Fry, did you enjoy the Slurm Factory?”
   The middle-aged Texan held up a shiny silver weapon; his cohort did the same with a smaller version. “Kelgugg the Divider...you are guilty of no less than 20 charges of interstellar crime, including the 1999 murder of Kashindi the Trader in old New York. Step away from the counter. Dead or alive, you’re coming with us.”
   “No, I’m afraid it’s dead or alive, I’m leaving here with the stone.” He pulled out a small metal orb, and pressed a button on the top. “And I’m not going to bother killing your young friend here, as long as he cooperates with me.”
   The Texan leaned over to his partner. “He’s got a plutonium charge from Dasitri 7; that little doo-dad could take out this whole block.”
   “Oh, so you recognize it. Young Philip there just needs to hand me the stone and I can be on my way; I’ve no real need to kill him or anyone else here - I’m in a giving vein today.”
   “That’s a relief,” mumbled Fry.
   Leela whispered loudly through clenched teeth. “Shut up, Goof Bag.”
"Let's hurry up about this - I’m a busy man and I’ve got appointments to keep.”
   Fry gulped. He looked over at the agents, weapons drawn, and then back over to Kelgugg. “If I hand this over to you, you’re gonna make a whole bunch of people die. I couldn’t live with that. I already feel bad for hitting someone with my bike. I guess I’d have to do what was right, even if it got me...killed...” His eyes dropped to the floor.
   The alien held the orb up. “Very well - all of you must die.”
   The Texan spoke again. “But you don’t get the stone anyway. What we have here is a real Mexican standoff. We’re not leaving here without you. And if you detonate that device, you’ll be as dead as a snake under a stagecoach along with the rest of us.”
   Kelgugg then extended his long black stinger from his arm. “I have other ways to kill, you know…”
   A loud beeping alarm came from Bender. “Uh, guys - that’s a proximity alert. Something big and metal is heading toward this building fast.”
   Leela crunched her eye. “You’re full of it - you actually have one of those in you?”
   “The Professor installed in during my last refit. I ain’t kidding - It’s nearly here. I’d take cover.”   The young black agent then spoke. “No way - that one stone in one of your weapons could vaporize a whole planet. You’re not getting it.”
   Kelgugg looked down at his amulet. “That piece is part of what I have here. If I can get the two pieces together, I’d really have something. And you’re right - I do have plans for it.”
   The older Texan stared down the insectoid alien. “I am taking you in to justice.”
   Kelgugg walked closer to Fry and the agents. “Interesting. You’d actually sacrifice Fry here to keep the stone? What do you think of that, Philip? They would get you killed just to keep their precious stone.” His hand hovered menacingly in the air with the plutonium weapon. “Your one-eyed friend here seems to care for you; it’s best just to hand over the stone so that I can be on my way."
     Bender continued to sound out his warning. "I'm tellin' ya man - there's something on the way..."
   Kelgugg positioned himself near the door. “Very clever, Metal Man - I’m not falling for that. You’re not taking me in. I’ll just kill Fry and take the stone. I’m leaving here with the…”
« Last Edit: May 05, 2018, 05:03:14 PM by Gulliver63 »
"When I was a kid my parents moved a lot, but I always found them." Rodney Dangerfield

"Always carry a flagon of whiskey in case of snakebite and furthermore, always carry a small snake." W. C. Fields

Offline Flounder

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Re: "Men in Black-arama"
« Reply #31 on: May 09, 2018, 11:00:20 AM »
Mexican standoffs are the best!

Fry gave his best Mea Culpa. “And if I hit someone with my bicycle, well, I’m sorry for that. And a few people might have gotten food poisoning from the pizzas I delivered. But just because I delivered terrible pizzas, that’s no reason to hunt me down like an animal.”

Dramatic AND funny.  Love it!   :thumbsup: :thumbsup: :thumbsup:
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Offline Ramon 51

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Re: "Men in Black-arama"
« Reply #32 on: May 11, 2018, 12:00:32 AM »
Absolutely first class!  :thumbsup: :thumbsup: I am hooked. :wannaeat:
"Even in literature and art, no man who bothers about originality will ever be original: whereas if you simply try to tell the truth (without caring twopence how often it has been told before) you will, nine times out of ten, become original without ever having noticed it."
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Offline Gulliver63

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Re: "Men in Black-arama"
« Reply #33 on: May 11, 2018, 02:57:44 PM »
...Here in the finale we find that Fry's lucky stone brings him a little luck after all...and the Planet Express building will need a bit of remodeling.

Before Kelgugg could finish his sentence, there was an explosion of sound as a Kawanishi air-bike plowed in through the lobby doors. Kelgugg the Divider found himself struggling to breathe underneath the weight of the massive machine. A quick thinking Agent J dove in and got the plutonium bomb out of the rubble, and shut it’s trigger button off. Fry got up from the rubble, and began to brush the construction dust off of his jacket.
   Morgan Proctor proudly looked at everyone from atop the bike. “I got the paperwork done! All stamped and copied in triplicate. Sorry about the damage - I never could steer these things. I’ll just sign a work order and the repair boys will fix it.” Leela pointed down at Kelgugg. “Oh my God - did I do that? That’s going to be more paperwork...”
   An exhausted J held up the disarmed bomb. “You did just fine, Miss Morgan. Just stamp that paperwork ‘complete’.”
   Morgan crossed her arms and had a satisfied look on her face as she nodded her head.

   As Agent J grappled with the struggling Kelgugg, K gave a warning to his partner. “Just keep away from the stinger, Tiger.”
   “We will destroy the Auregulains - you won’t stop that.”
   K answered in that Texas brogue of his. “Not on my watch, Wasp Boy. And you are going back to 1999 to stand trial. And I’ll make sure the judge is Zargos the Hanging Judge.”
   K then turned to Morgan. “Woman, you are crazier than a West Texas whip scorpion at a church picnic. Are you sure you won’t come back with us? We could use someone as nuts as you.”
   She looked sad. “I took an oath to serve the Bureaucracy. It’s a lonely life, but someone has got to do it.”
   J crunched up his face. “And hang around with these losers? Checking lockers? For yogurt?”
   Bender got an annoyed look. “At least I’m not a mortician with a Sunday school tie.”
   Professor Farnsworth came walking in at that point. “Leela, have you seen my issue of ‘Copper Wire Monthly?’ He then paused as he adjusted his glasses.
“Good God in the morning, what did you people do to my doors?” He looked up at Morgan on the bike. “You...what did you do to my doors?”
   Morgan answered in a dry tone. “You needed remodeling anyway. And don’t worry - I’ve already written them off as ‘fair wear and tear.’”
   “Fair wear and tear? You drove a vehicle through them! Fair wear and tear? They weren’t bloody well meant to be driven through!”
   Leela walked over to Fry, and tousled his hair like a child. “That took courage...and it showed some character. You thought about a whole planet above yourself.”
   “Oh, I’m not that smart. There just has to be more to this life than delivering pizzas and stuff.”
   Her cycloptic eye stared into his eyes, first the left and then the right. “You’ll never know just how wise that last sentence of yours was.”
   Before they left, the Texan had one more word for Fry. “Son, I’m gonna need that good luck stone back.”
   As he handed it over he said, “I think it brought me enough good luck as it is. Leela, let’s get dinner somewhere.” The two walked off arm and arm.
   J looked at his partner. “That stone may just bring him some good luck after all.” He then told Fry, "And boy, buy her something besides weasel."

   After their return to 1999, Agents K and J stood looking at the quiet Applied Cryogenics building; inside a young pizza delivery boy slept quietly in an ice chamber. The younger partner asked a question of his elder.
   “Should we break in and get Phil out of there?”
   “No, son  - it’s destiny. We could always find out what happened to him later on the future library computer…see what he did with his life...”
   J looked up at the stars in the sky. “No...no. Some things I’d rather let destiny and the stars work out for themselves. I don’t need to know how they did it. By the way, do you ever just look up at the stars anymore?”
   The two suddenly heard the noisy cacophony of New Year’s revelers welcoming in the year 2000 from several blocks over.
   The Texan then said, “I’m hungry sport - you up for pizza?”
   As they walked down the sidewalk, J made a wiping motion with his hands. “No - no way. I don’t even want to hear anything said about pizza for a long time. Or weasel either...”

The End
"When I was a kid my parents moved a lot, but I always found them." Rodney Dangerfield

"Always carry a flagon of whiskey in case of snakebite and furthermore, always carry a small snake." W. C. Fields

Offline Ramon 51

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Re: "Men in Black-arama"
« Reply #34 on: May 12, 2018, 01:04:04 AM »
"Copper wire monthly!" :crylol: :crylol: :crylol: An excellent bit of work! You are truly a master storyteller! :thumbsup: :thumbsup: :redstar: :redstar: :redstar: :redstar: :redstar:
"Even in literature and art, no man who bothers about originality will ever be original: whereas if you simply try to tell the truth (without caring twopence how often it has been told before) you will, nine times out of ten, become original without ever having noticed it."
C. S. Lewis

Offline Gulliver63

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Re: "Men in Black-arama"
« Reply #35 on: May 12, 2018, 01:45:41 AM »
Quote
An excellent bit of work! You are truly a master storyteller!

::Blushes:: I'm just a clever little monkey that works well with tools... :)

My favorite was the "crazy as a West Texas whip scorpion at a church picnic" bit.
"When I was a kid my parents moved a lot, but I always found them." Rodney Dangerfield

"Always carry a flagon of whiskey in case of snakebite and furthermore, always carry a small snake." W. C. Fields

Offline El-Man

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Re: "Men in Black-arama"
« Reply #36 on: May 12, 2018, 03:29:12 AM »
Before Kelgugg could finish his sentence, there was an explosion of sound as a Kawanishi air-bike plowed in through the lobby doors.

Deus ex motorbiker?  :crylol:

Offline Gulliver63

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Re: "Men in Black-arama"
« Reply #37 on: May 12, 2018, 09:58:55 AM »
Quote
Deus ex motorbiker?

Yeah, pretty much. It's called, "How do I wrap this thing up?" :)
"When I was a kid my parents moved a lot, but I always found them." Rodney Dangerfield

"Always carry a flagon of whiskey in case of snakebite and furthermore, always carry a small snake." W. C. Fields

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Re: "Men in Black-arama"
« Reply #38 on: May 14, 2018, 05:45:51 PM »
...It's called, "How do I wrap this thing up?" :)

And you did wrap it up very well, indeed.  Good job, Gulliver! :thumbsup: :thumbsup: :thumbsup:
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Offline Gulliver63

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Re: "Men in Black-arama"
« Reply #39 on: May 15, 2018, 03:21:05 PM »
Quote
And you did wrap it up very well, indeed.  Good job, Gulliver!

Thanks! "Fair wear and tear" you might recognize from your military days. I loved how Farnsworth didn't notice the door at first.

Now if I can get those two stories I'm working on done...
"When I was a kid my parents moved a lot, but I always found them." Rodney Dangerfield

"Always carry a flagon of whiskey in case of snakebite and furthermore, always carry a small snake." W. C. Fields